A Day In The Life

I’ve read many “Day in the Life” posts over the years as a blogger, but never did one until now, when SimpleHomeschool.net invited readers to share their day and link up to their Friday post. I’m so glad I did this! I learned a lot about myself. I’ll share what I mean tomorrow. ;-)

5:13 AM: My stomach, ignoring the protests of the rest of my body, decides sleep time is over. I get up and reheat a bowl of last night’s chili. I contemplate going back to bed for a bit, but since pregnancy nausea has set in, I’ve been sleeping later and I miss my morning routine. So I decide to stay up.

I grab the computer and place our farm order, which hubby will pick up tomorrow. 3 gallons of raw milk, 4 dozen eggs, and a bag of grass fed beef bones for broth. I read an email and learn what baby’s doing now at 14 weeks, officially my second trimester.

I hear Sadie, 6, get up and go to the bathroom. She leaves the bathroom light on, wide open, as usual. Ugh. It shines right into my bedroom and hits my eyes when I’m in bed. Reminding her to turn it off won’t do any good because she probably wants the light on so she can see back to her room easily. I decide to buy her a small flashlight to keep by her bed to solve this problem. She slept badly last night, and woke me up twice. I think it’s because she ate wheat Sunday. Every few months I let her try a bit to see if there’s a reaction, and there always is.

There’s a lot I need to do on the computer, but I shut it down because I’m feeling nauseous. Screens have that effect on me when I’m pregnant, which is really inconvenient when you’re a blogger.

I take a bath, get dressed, start water boiling.

6:45: Julien and Sadie wake up and come sit with me on the sofa. I hear toddler feet padding down the hallway and cries of “Mama” from the youngest, her Daddy just behind her. They’re not usually up for another hour. I must have made too much noise. I nurse Ruby and snuggle with Sadie. I say a prayer and ask for help with patience… not something I usually struggle with, but pregnancy hormones and nausea are making my fuse way too short lately.

I eat another small bowl of chili. I’m hungry all the time now.

Tea time. Julien, our resident tea maker, steeps a cup of Tasha Tudor’s Welsh breakfast tea for me. We drink this tea every day.  I write “Tasha Tudor” in my notebook and decide it would be fun to spend a day with the kids studying her life and works. She was a remarkable woman who lived life squarely on her terms and she’s fascinating to me.

Ruby hands me a Berenstain Bears book and says, “Read it“. I do, but it looks more like her turning pages to the objects she recognizes, so she can point and name them. “Baby, owl, bunny, eggs, puppy”, etc, which is frustrating to Sadie, who actually wants to hear the story.

7:20: I cook *Breakfast in a Bowl for the early risers. The later crew of big kids  can cook some more eggs to eat with the remaining grits when they awake. Ruby seems frantic for the sausages to be done, and eventually grabs my fork from my hand and feeds herself, then asks for “Mo“. I take this as a sign my milk supply is dropping. While we eat breakfast, we see the sunrise out the window.

(* Grits cooked with a ton of butter and cheese heaped in a bowl with fried egg and sausage.)

I get up to get Ruby and myself more food and realize it’s normal to be hungry when your body is nourishing 3 people. “Pee!”. I look behind me and Ruby is standing in a puddle. I had just put a clean diaper on her but the leg elastic is a bit stretched out on her Fuzzi Bunz and her toddler bladder holds a lot. I take off her pants and diaper and clean up the mess. Good thing Ilana will be mopping later. Yes, we will be potty training come Spring.

While I’m away from the table Julien reads this post in progress and laughs. I explain what a “day in the life” post is about. He says that I need to “make a book”. Ruby goes in the sink for a quick bath. Meanwhile I unload the dishwasher.

7:46: Hubby’s up, so I fry more sausages and eggs, then put on a little makeup. I ask Sadie not to play guitar while people are sleeping. A sleepy teenaged boy emerges from his bed and sits down at the piano to practice a new piece. I don’t tell him to be quiet. Now the big girls are up and eating breakfast. Ruby asks me to put her Raffi tape in the CD player. We discuss the origins of the song “Kumbayah”.

8:05: I check the calendar in my notebook that tells me what “monthly” cleaning task I’m working on today. It’s cleaning the outside of the fridge, stove and dishwasher. I decide to enlist Sadie’s help. I feel pukey, so I make myself a Perrier with lemon. I get a package together to ship, something I sold on Amazon.com. I don’t have a large envelope, but thankfully Julien, the eBay entrepreneur, does. My tape isn’t where it’s supposed to be on my desk. I holler to ask if anyone has it, and a child retrieves it for me.

8:20: Hubby kisses me goodbye, in a rush and looking stressed. Zoe is out the door to catch the school bus. I clean breakfast mess off the table then wipe the grits Ruby dropped attempting to feed herself off the floor.

Someone has given Ruby a bowl of shredded cheese. She eats half, the remainder is all over the floor. I attempt to brush my teeth, but before I’m through painful gagging ensues. I make a mental note to floss later. Meanwhile the girls have followed me into the bathroom and begin peppering me with questions. I use a tiny screwdriver to unlock the door to Sadie’s room which has mysteriously gotten locked for the umpteenth time this week. I announce 5 Minutes to Bible Reading.

8:45: Everyone is fed, dressed and has teeth brushed. Our homeschool day begins.

We sit down to read the Bible first. This is probably my favorite time of day, and the kids really enjoy it too. Today we take turns reading Joshua 5-7. We discuss it afterwards. Then we spend a few minutes looking up some of the places mentioned on a detailed map of the Promised Land. The baby runs around the living room playing with her doll, rummaging through books and alternately sitting in my lap.

When we’re done Caleb immediately starts on Math without assistance or prompting from me. He’s in the young Scholar phase for sure. I send Julien and Ilana to do their chores (Julien sweeps the dining/living room and Ilana sweeps and mops the kitchen) while I read two Bible stories to Sadie that correspond to the reading: one is about the fall of Jericho, the other about Achan’s thievery. She is distractable and squirrelly today. I point to words and have her read them. She gets the word right about 25% of the time.

We’re interrupted by a poopy diaper. I get up to clean up Ruby, then pass her off to Julien to put the new diaper on while I finish reading and discussing the stories with Sadie.

I notice that Ilana has begun reading Dave Ramsey’s book Financial Peace Revisited. She just finished Chapter One. I told her yesterday that for math this week instead of doing our usual thing (Saxon for her), we were going to talk about money and personal finance. It’s interesting that she took it upon herself to pick up this book and read it. Caleb did the same thing several months ago, and completed the book in a few days. It’s very important to me that my children learn sound financial principles (and it’s clear my brainwashing is working) so this makes me very happy!

9: 30: Julien goes outside for a bit for some fresh air and takes Ruby with him. I take the opportunity to clean up the kitchen. I usually have it done up by now, because I find that I enjoy doing school far more when it’s clean.

Ilana brings me a science project she’s working on: she and Julien decided to sprout a bean and chart the progress over a week’s time. Sadie gets excited about this and decides to make one of her own, Ilana helps her set it up.

While I clean, I discuss dinner plans with Caleb. He wants to cook lasagne which wasn’t in my meal plan, so I don’t have the ingredients – but how can I say no to him cooking that? I didn’t want to leave the house today, but decide to swing by the store to pick up the couple of things we need. I can send Caleb in while I stay in the car with everyone else. I look up my favorite slow cooker lasagne recipe. Caleb tells me that Nannie says he needs to start a compost pile for our garden (we had one, but abandoned it because our garden was a colossal flop). He goes downstairs to find a bucket, brings it up to the kitchen and dumps old tea leaves in it. I’m determined to find a local gardener who can mentor us this year. A friend comes to mind.

Sadie wants to write a letter to her friend. I help her spell the words she doesn’t know.

The trip to the store doesn’t take long. When we get home Julien, Caleb and I start on the lasagne. I cook rice and leftover chili for lunch. Sadie decides to eat her rice with chopsticks.

11:40: Ruby has nursed to sleep, so it’s time for Read Aloud with the middle kids. We’re reading The Boxcar Children, which we started yesterday. We’re already halfway through the book because they kept asking for “One more chapter!“. While we read, Caleb does Rosetta Stone Spanish. Then he looks up YouTube videos to learn the fingering for new songs he wants to play on piano.When he’s done, he picks up his current read, a 700+ page Sherlock Holmes collection. He bought the book Sunday night, but it looks like he’ll finish it this week.

12:13: Sadie skips off to play in her room, so I decide to take a 20 minute nap with the baby. I let Ilana play on the computer for a bit. Julien is working on eBay stuff.

1:18: Ok, so maybe my nap was a bit longer than 20 minutes. The nausea has been unrelenting all day, and I’m fighting grumpiness. Besides, I have this sweet snugglebunny.

I get up, and remember the monthly task I need to do. I ask Sadie to come to the kitchen and hand her a cleaning cloth and a spray bottle of vinegar/water. We clean the front of the stove, fridge and dishwasher. It only takes a couple of minutes. The kitchen is a disaster again, but I don’t say a word. I’m happy the kids like to cook, so I’m ok with the “clean as you go” lesson taking a bit longer. Julien is at the sink washing a saucepan so he can hard boil eggs.

1: 50: History. I sit with Ilana and Julien and we read about Charles the Hammer. Caleb is working through the Story of the World: The Middle Ages too, but he’s way ahead of us and uses a different workbook to test himself after his reading. Where is Caleb by the way? I hear the dryer door slam and realize he’s downstairs doing his chore: laundry.

2:13“Pee. Poop.” Pick up the baby and change her diaper, then head into the bathroom to wash my hands. I brush my teeth again, remembering to stop when I get that tickle in my throat, before gagging begins. I empty the bathroom trash can, then take two bags of kitchen trash to the curb.

It’s warm out, so Ruby comes with me. She begins climbing into the stroller. “Walk!” This surprises me, since for the last couple of months she has been protesting the stroller and the sling, meaning I’ve had to either let her walk and meander alongside, or hold her. I take advantage of the situation, tell Sadie to get her shoes on, and start walking around the neighborhood. Ruby points out everything she knows. “Bird. Doggie. Choo-choo train. Flower.” Then, “Out.” Ah. There it is. I am already huffing and puffing so I encourage her to stay in until we get home. She goes back to humming and singing. Sadie chatters happily. I give myself permission to feel proud of exercising despite feeling like warmed up dog poop.

3:04: Caleb is back upstairs, updates me on the laundry situation, and sits down at the piano again. Julien plays with LEGO behind me, he is building a safe complete with a combination lock. Sadie is outside digging holes. Ilana is playing a pointless computer game in which she has to do “Chef” tasks like shred cheese. I consider telling her that there is real cheese in the kitchen she can shred, but think better of it. We don’t have TV, cable, or Nintendo, so a little brain candy in the form of computer games isn’t a hill I want to die on.

Note The Shirt. It says, Eat. Sleep. Lego.

I grab Ruby and head back outside to play with Sadie, who is digging up earthworms. She asks me again what they do for the garden, and I explain. I suddenly feel happy with my life, to be here with my children, and say a little prayer expressing gratitude for the mild weather. My body is craving Spring about as much as it’s craving steak. I remember to take my shoes off so my feet can connect with the earth.

 3:35: Caleb brings up a load of clean cloth diapers, then reads a Potty book to Ruby. She Ruby brings me another book and says, “Couch!”. I sit down and we “read”. I try to muster the energy to attack the kitchen mess before Zoe gets home. It’s her chore, but I hate for her to come home from school to such a mess. Caleb is deep into Sherlock Holmes again. Ilana asks me to read another chapter of the Boxcar Children. I read 2. I successfully procrastinate the kitchen cleanup.

I go back outside with Sadie, who is desperate to do something in the garden. I tell her she can put dead leaves on the garden area so she begins picking up armfuls and spreading them around.

4:10: Did somebody mention steak? I’m starving, so I reheat the rice from lunch and stir fry some steak with ginger, soy sauce, vinegar to eat. I begin to smell the lasagne cooking in the slow cooker. It’s bubbling over and dripping all down the counter and drawers underneath. Caleb puts it on top of a large plate to catch the mess.

A fight commences, only the second skirmish of the day, so I feel fortunate. Ilana has taken a necklace from the floor, but it belongs to Julien, who demands it back. She can’t find it. They get animated, and the baby starts screaming at them. I ask Ilana if she wants to be like Achan, who took things that didn’t belong to him. She replies no. I ask her to sweep the living room. Incidentally the exact scenario played out earlier, only the perp was Sadie, who took a toy from Ilana’s room. I was thankful to be able to use that story.

4:50: Caleb walks in the door from the bus stop where he has picked up Zoe, who is finally home from school. I find it disturbing that a child in public school is gone from her family for this many hours a day. I’m glad I got the kitchen cleaned up. I call Julien over and read a couple of chapters of James and the Giant Peach, the current read-aloud I’m sharing with just him (although Ilana joins in). He’s not as much of an avid reader as my other kids, but he loves to be read to, so I single him out for this.

5:15: Hubby walks in. He tells me immediately about a conversation he had with a potential landlord. We were interested in a home with 5 bedrooms in the area, and I contacted the man through Craigslist. He asked how many children we had. When Zeke answered truthfully, he laughed and said, “That’s not going to work.” Large family discrimination is very real folks. Nevermind that in the 2 years we’ve rented from our current landlord, we’ve never been late on rent. Nevermind that we were prepared to pay a security deposit and first month’s rent. 6 kids are the proverbial turd in the punch bowl. It occurs to me that if I were a litigious person, I could contact a lawyer to sue him for discrimination. I think about emailing the jerk, but decide he isn’t worth my time. Besides, I prayed hard about this situation and asked that if it had His blessing, it would be effortless. Obviously it’s not meant to be.

The noise from dinner is getting to me a little, and I’m feeling gross. I send the kids downstairs to play so Zeke and I can have some quiet to talk. He rocks Ruby and sings to her, a song he made up.  He announces to the kids that it’s 5 Minutes to Family Worship.

6:25: Family Worship. We read a few passages from 1 Samuel and discuss how God chose David. That he judges people not based on their appearance, but on their qualities. Caleb answers a question he was assigned to look up in his personal study. Sadie is getting tired so she’s a little wiggly.

7:00: The kids go back downstairs to play. Zeke holds my hand on the sofa and we commence one of our favorite activities, watching Ruby’s antics. She keeps picking up Julien’s foot and wrinkling her nose. I must look terrible, because Zeke keeps asking me if he can get me something to help. “Beer“, I reply. “I don’t have any. Do you want me to pick some non-alcoholic brew up for you?” “No“. I know he’s tired, and I don’t want him to have to leave the house. The only time I crave beer is when I’m pregnant.

7:18: The nausea has been getting progressively stronger and I can’t deal with it anymore. I head to my room to lie in the dark. (I ended up falling asleep and waking up at 12:00 to eat a snack. Meanwhile, hubby put everyone to bed!)

Posted in Homeschool | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

Make Your Own Dishwashing Liquid

I love to challenge myself to make things myself instead of buying them.

Sometimes, the motivation is financial. Homemade stuff is almost always cheaper. Sometimes, it’s the healthier, more natural option. And all of the time, the homemade version is more environmentally friendly.

I’ve been unhappy with the green dishwashing liquids I’ve tried. Most of them are very expensive. Even with sales and coupons, you can expect to pay over $2 for a bottle of the stuff. And it’s not terribly effective.

Another option for dishwashing liquid is diluted castille soap, but even if I bought Dr. Bronner’s soap by the gallon, the price would be around .35 an ounce, comparable to store bought.

Then I came across this recipe for homemade dishwashing liquid on Annienygma’s site. I thoroughly enjoy her blog because of her “Possum Living” lifestyle. I decided to give it a shot.

All you need are:

- Arm & Hammer Washing Soda
- Octagon soap
- Water
- Cute assistant (optional)

I always keep Washing Soda on hand because I use it in my homemade laundry detergent recipe.  Turns out a local grocery store was going out of business, so I swung by and bought 15 bars of Octagon soap at a discount. They were around .50 each.

I had never used Octagon before, but I remember my Grandmother always had it around her house. It has a very mild fragrance and the finished product wasn’t perfumey at all (my main gripe with commercially available dishwashing liquid, the smell of all of them makes me sick). You could easily add a few drops of your favorite essential oil to pretty up the fragrance.

The recipe called for a half bar of grated Octagon soap and just 1 Tablespoon Washing Powder.  I cut the recipe in half, which means that the half gallon of dishwashing liquid I made cost me less than .20.

Most definitely a frugal choice. I poured the finished soap into a pretty soap dispenser next to my sink using a small funnel.

But how does it work?

We’ve been using it for the dishes we hand wash (pots and pans, items that aren’t dishwasher safe) and it works awesome! However, it makes ZERO lather. This might be an issue for some, but it doesn’t matter to me. I know that “lather” doesn’t have anything to do with how clean something is. Lather comes from Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, an ingredient I avoid in cleaning products.

I imagine this recipe would also make an awesome laundry stain treatment since that’s traditionally one of the uses of Octagon soap. I plan on keeping a squeeze bottle of it in the laundry room to put a bit directly on stains before washing clothes.

Have you ever made your own dishwashing liquid? Got a great recipe to share?

Posted in Homemaking | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Mothers Are Proof There Is a God

Question:

What’s worse than having debilitating morning sickness 24 hours a day?

(Waves hand wildly.)

Oh I know! I know! Pick me! Pick me!

Having debilitating morning sickness 24 hours a day AND having a stomach flu make its way through the family!

It started off with Sadie, the 6 year old. Vomiting, diarrhea, the works. At the time she happened to be spending the night at my mother’s house. My mother offered to take care of her for me and I gratefully agreed. Sadie came home and Caleb, 13, got sick. The next day I got it.

I couldn’t keep anything down, not even fluids, for 24 hours and the next day I was as weak and dizzy as a newborn kitten. I only got out of bed to use the bathroom, and since then I’ve only been able to eat Lipton noodle soup and popsicles. I’m not winning any awards for nutrition this month, for sure.

Still, I am trying to be grateful.

1. Sadie, the one I worry about the most when she gets sick because she is the youngest non-nursing member of the family (I don’t worry about nursing babies so much because their illnesses are so mild and they never get dehydrated because breastmilk stays down so well) was well by the time she got back from my Mom’s.

2. Caleb is old enough that other than occasional checking in, he is self sufficient when sick. (Once when I fetched a blanket to put on him when he was lying on the sofa, he told me “Nevermind me mom, you go take care of yourself.” So sweet!)

3. Ruby hasn’t gotten it yet and if she does, I’ll at least be mostly well. And she is old enough now that she is happy letting my mom or her Daddy care for her in my place.

4. My husband has been right as rain so far. He puts the kids through the evening routine and rocks Ruby to sleep for me.

5. Mothers. What would we do without them? When I was too weak to stand up my mom was here cooking for everyone and playing with the baby.

It could be worse!

Posted in Mothering | 2 Comments

Raw Milk Yogurt in the Slow Cooker

After Stonyfield Farms made the unfortunate decision to homogenize their organic yogurt, I was determined to try my hand at making my own. And since the only milk we buy and consume around here is raw milk, of course it was going to be raw milk yogurt.

I bought a nifty yogurt maker on Craigslist and some lovely yogurt starter from Cultures for Health. I was so excited! I envisioned my youngsters eating raw milk yogurt topped with fruit for breakfast, snacks and dessert.

Two totally failed attempts later, discouragement set in. I was already about $30 invested in this project with nothing to show for it. Ouch. Since kefir making is so easy and free, I had almost decided to just give up and let kefir be my main dairy probiotic food.

What I didn’t know yet was that making yogurt from raw milk without cooking it a little first (hence, making it not raw) was nearly impossible. Most people are unable to pull it off. Why? Because the naturally occurring enzymes, one of the things that makes raw milk so good for you, compete with the yogurt culture. The yogurt never sets.

After doing some more research, I was at least determined to heat my raw milk first. Even “cooked”, the finished product would be far superior to anything store bought. But I still wanted a simpler method.

I enjoy Christine’s blog, A Year of Slow Cooking. One day while perusing her recipes I found this on the sidebar: You Can Make Yogurt In Your Slow Cooker.

Bingo! Guess what I ate this morning?
Yoghurt from buffalo milk Creative Commons License photo credit: FotoosVanRobin

A big huge bowl of raw milk yogurt, made in the slow cooker. Teehee.

It’s delicious, I think even tastier than store bought. I like the taste of plain, unflavored yogurt, but I’m sure the kids will want to add a little honey or fruit. It has a very mild, clean refreshing taste. Yum!

The only caveat is that the texture is a little runny. I think I need to keep the milk heated in the slow cooker a tad longer next time. If that doesn’t work, I’ll just add a packet of plain unflavored gelatin. I don’t mind the texture, it’s like drinkable yogurt, but I bet the kids would prefer it with a little more drag on the spoon. It was so easy too. And only one bowl to wash (the slow cooker crock).

I’ve calculated that making my own amounts to at least a 50% savings over store bought to boot. Because I despise “uni-tasking” appliances, I’m thrilled that I can now sell my yogurt maker.

If you’re interested in making raw milk yogurt (or pasteurized for that matter) in your slow cooker, be sure to check out Christine’s instructions. The comments have some useful info too.

Posted in Food | Tagged , | 8 Comments

Hi to Miss Minimalist Readers

Francine Jay, best selling author and writer of the lovely blog Miss Minimalist was sweet enough to publish my profile yesterday. You can read it here:

Larger Family Minimalism

I thought I would link to a few of my favorite posts about simplifying and minimalism so Francine’s readers can get to know me a little better, as well as address a question that came up in the comments.

Am I Limiting The Children Somehow Because They Don’t Do Extracurricular Activities?

Good question!

At the time of that writing, none of the kids were doing extracurricular activities, but at this moment one is taking piano lessons (he has been self taught for a long time however), and 2 are taking ballet classes. These classes are for a couple of months and aren’t long term.

In the past, the kids have taken a variety of classes (art, pottery, dance), and are very involved with friends and activities through a homeschool field trip group.

It’s not that outside activities are banned, it’s that the kids seem happier when we don’t “go” a lot.

The children pursue a lot of their own interests … two of the kids are musicians (guitar, piano), one is a prolific writer, one has a thriving eBay business, one loves to sew, one started a book club recently… and we are learning Spanish as a family… so no, I don’t think the kids are limited or being held back in any way.

Generally speaking I think many kids are too overscheduled these days. It’s better for them to have lots of time to just be… this is why they can pursue their own interests in their own way.

Now for a few of my favorite posts on simple living and minimalism, larger family style:

Francine’s book is on my wish list, but I have read her ebook and it’s excellent! You can download it for .99 here: Miss Minimalist: Inspiration to Downsize, Declutter, and Simplify

Posted in Homemaking | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

I Heart Morning Sickness

I complain about morning sickness. I do. (I hate calling it that, because it’s 24 hours a day for me and many women.)

But don’t misunderstand.

I’m grateful for morning sickness.

At my first prenatal appointment, my midwife couldn’t hear the baby’s heartbeat.

She told me not to worry, that you can only hear it 50% of the time at this stage, and that my uterus (which is tipped) is way down in my bowels. They would have had to skewer me with the Doppler to get at baby’s heartbeat, my own was so loud.

I had to remind myself to breathe.

Later on, on the drive home, hubby asked me if I was worried.

“No. But I would be, if I wasn’t sick 24 hours a day.”

The sickness, although a curse, is oddly comforting. It reminds me, moment by moment, of what my body is doing. It tells me that my hormone levels are high enough to sustain the pregnancy.

Last night as I lay in my bed in the dark quiet, asking the room to please stop spinning, I picked up my phone to see if there was something interesting I could watch on TED.com to distract me.

This came up.

Warning: If you get to the end of this short video without tearing up, call an ambulance. Because you have no pulse.

Posted in Mothering | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Ass+U+Me

You know what I find interesting lately?

What people assume.

I was taught that when you assume, you make an ass+u+me.

But, I was raised right. Not everyone learned that wisdom.

I find it humorous that people assume that because you have several children, you are overwhelmed and stressed.

I am neither.

(What I am at the moment is nauseated, but that will pass.)

That having several children is “hard”.

It’s not. At least, not for me.

That they must be accidents.

That you must not understand how the plumbing works. That you’re too ignorant to use birth control.

That a 7th child in the household couldn’t have been planned.

And they would be wrong.

Call me crazy, but I have this notion that children are a blessing.

The other day when an acquaintance I hadn’t seen in a few years met my husband and found out we had 6 children together and were expecting another, she exclaimed:

“I hope you have a good job!”

(My husband said the next time someone asked him that, he would reply, “No, I just have a really good wife!” Ain’t he sweet?)

When he assured her that he was a business owner and doing quite fine, her next question was:

Well what about health care!?”

Umm, impertinent much? I wonder if she would appreciate my asking if her husband was prepared for retirement just because he is in his 60′s?

I can’t imagine asking someone about their financial situation. I also can’t imagine making assumptions like this about people. I can’t imagine commenting on someone’s choice of family size, or birth control, or the mechanics of sex. I honestly don’t care what someone else decides to do with their life. Their choices don’t affect me.

But these are things people say to parents of large families.

The truth is, having several children makes you smarter about where your money goes. My husband and I budget carefully. Just last night we held a Couples Meeting where we discussed the budget, make adjustments, looked at our overall financial picture, and discussed our goals.

We’re doing fine. We have no credit card debt, we just paid cash for our vehicle, we recently took an 8 day vacation, we have savings on hand for emergencies and we earn more than enough to provide for our family. Considering these facts, I would say we are doing far better than many who are saddled with credit card debt and live paycheck to paycheck.

Why am I called upon to defend myself?

Do people who assume that mothers of many are unhappy and stressed simply feel threatened? Perhaps because they don’t enjoy motherhood? I never asked for the title, but several friends have dubbed me SuperMom. Would this cause another mom to feel inferior and make inappropriate comments to me?

More assumptions about large families, just for the fun of it:

  • That your home must be a mess all the time
  • That you live in chaos
  • That you never get a quiet moment to yourself
  • That you live off the government, or even better… child support (don’t make me laugh with that last one!)
  • That your house is always loud and crazy
  • That you don’t spent time with the children individually
  • That you and your spouse can’t get alone time
  • That the breadwinner works 70+ hours a week.

I suppose you can learn a lot about a person by what they assume.

No?

My standard answer to these kinds of inappropriate questions from now on? I’m going to turn it around on the person and ask them how they’re doing in that particular area. People reflect onto your their own concerns. They reflect what’s in their heart.

Comment: “Another baby?! You guys need to get the snip!”

Reply: “Actually, we planned this child and are quite happy. Are you worried about your family planning?”

Comment: “How are you guys going to pay for all those kids?”

Reply: “We’re doing fine, thanks. Are you concerned about your finances?”

What do you think?

Posted in Mothering | Tagged , | 6 Comments

Growny

A couple of weeks ago Sadie, 6, announced that she would make breakfast every day. I guess she figured since I’m not doing it, someone had to. And it might as well be her. I like that attitude.

This morning she made oatmeal and scrambled eggs. Everyone ate it. Except me. I had already eaten my sausage egg biscuit in bed, courtesy of hubby.

Yesterday Sadie showed me her hand. It was red, and scratched. I kissed it tenderly.

“Mom, you know that really doesn’t make it feel better.”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

She’s growing up.

She’s more Ramona Quimby than Dora.

When did this happen?

Yesterday, just as I was getting irritated at the thought of helping her clean her room again, which I do almost every day, yet by 10 AM it looks like a tornado came through it, hip deep in detritus.

At some point mid-morning I asked her to please go clean her room for 10 minutes.

Oh, I’ve already been cleaning it.”

I got up from my beloved spot on the couch to see if I could actually tell anything had been done.

It was spotless and completely organized.  Everything on her desk was in neat little piles. No trash or laundry or bedding or God-knows-what-else scattered everywhere.

My Grandma, for whom I am named (the Lee part, not the Alice part), has an expression for a child who seems older than her years.

Growny. Pronounced grown-ee. As in, “Look at her, she’s so growny. She cooked breakfast all by herself. Bless her heart.”

This is the same women who declared to my Father, upon hearing the news of my 6th pregnancy, “Well shut my mouth!”

I don’t know if it’s one of those funny words old Southerners say that ends up being pure perfect old English – like “reckon”, or if it’s just a made up Grandmaism.

Ruby is ready to potty train, if only her mother weren’t too sick and lazy to do it right now.

She has all the signs of readiness.

She is highly verbal. She points to her diaper and says “pee” or “poo” when the appropriate event has taken place. She resists diaper changes. She pulls the diaper off whenever possible. She says “potty”. She brings us her “Big Girls Use The Potty” books and asks us to read them to her. She finds her potties and brings them to the living room. She sits on her potties – naked or fully clothed.

When I look down at the keyboard, the letters are climbing all over each other and fuzzy. My eyes go all wonky at this point in the pregnancy. I’m not ready.

She is though.

So many times with these kids I find that by the time I get around to teaching them something, they’ve already learned it. Maybe I’ll look up in my second trimester and she will have potty trained herself.

My oldest’s voice has become so deep and manly that when he talks, sometimes I don’t recognize him and think my ex husband is in the house.  His feet are monstrous.

The 10 year old makes more money on eBay every month than I do. My 8 year old looks like a supermodel with lip gloss and dimples so big you can eat soup out of them.

These kids are too growny around here.

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We Should Be More Like Toddlers

We would all be a lot healthier and happier if we behaved more like toddlers. I observe my 18 month old and realize that everything you need to know about relationships and emotional and physical health you can learn from them.

I offer:

We Should Be More Like Toddlers

Sit in laps often.

When you’re angry at someone, go ahead and let them know immediately. Yell at them once. Then forget it 30 seconds later.

Squat. Climb. Run. Roll around on the floor. Keep moving, until it’s time to nap. A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Get happy and excited about things like: your water cup. A puppy. Spotting the moon. Going outside. A favorite book.

Say few things. But say them so cute that everyone stops what they’re doing to listen.

Ask for what you want. Eventually, someone will appear and help you get it.

When you do something good, applaud yourself. Don’t wait for others to notice.

Eat a few bites. Then run around a lot.

If you want love, ask someone to rock you.

More about why I love toddlers.

 

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Week 10

I like reading blogger’s pregnancy updates. I like seeing (covered up) belly shots. Not that I’ll be posting any. But updates, yes.

My little prune is coming along nicely, from the feel of things. I’m sick day and night and although eating beans are helping, I still feel horrible.

How do I know they’re helping?

Because Saturday I forgot to eat beans, and Sunday was the most violently ill I’ve been so far this pregnancy.

When I lie down, my belly sticks up. My pants don’t fit, and I’m wearing a belly band to keep them from falling off unzipped. Funny how, after several babies, your body begins showing when you’re 5 minutes pregnant.

I spent most of my day trying to find something that I can tolerate eating. I take two bites then push it away.

It’s survival mode at the moment. These are the weeks of frozen waffles for the kid’s breakfasts, and paper plates. Cooking breakfast is out of the question. I tried it today, only to vomit in front of my husband and son in the kitchen trash can.

The crushing fatigue is thankfully lifting. I can get through the day without a nap. But bedtime comes at 8. Not that I fall asleep, but being still in a quiet dark room helps me deal with the intense waves of nausea that come at night.

It’s funny how you forget everything.

Like, you cannot imagine how it feels to be so severely nauseated 24 hours a day, to gag painfully every time you brush your teeth/open the fridge or dishwasher/change a diaper/smell someone’s breath. To have your food come up to your uvula several times a day, only willpower keeping it down. Make no sudden movements. It’s beyond description. Like food poisoning that lasts for months, not hours.

Then when you’re about 36 weeks pregnant it hits you.

Oh. Crap. Labor.

It suddenly dawns on you that you’re going to have to go through that pain again.

Why something as beautiful and life changing as bringing forth new life has to be accompanied by so much pain and discomfort and icki-poo-ness? I don’t get it.

And as soon as the baby comes, I’ll forget it all over again.

The kids have discovered old Cosby Show episodes on Netflix, and watching them starting from the pilot episode.

Which is fine by me. As screen time goes, they could do far worse. As it is, the oldest already knows Billy Cosby’s “Himself” routine practically verbatim. He’s getting some fresh material.

Water you doin?

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