Mothers Are Proof There Is a God

Posted on January 24, 2012 by carrie

Question:

What’s worse than having debilitating morning sickness 24 hours a day?

(Waves hand wildly.)

Oh I know! I know! Pick me! Pick me!

Having debilitating morning sickness 24 hours a day AND having a stomach flu make its way through the family!

It started off with Sadie, the 6 year old. Vomiting, diarrhea, the works. At the time she happened to be spending the night at my mother’s house. My mother offered to take care of her for me and I gratefully agreed. Sadie came home and Caleb, 13, got sick. The next day I got it.

I couldn’t keep anything down, not even fluids, for 24 hours and the next day I was as weak and dizzy as a newborn kitten. I only got out of bed to use the bathroom, and since then I’ve only been able to eat Lipton noodle soup and popsicles. I’m not winning any awards for nutrition this month, for sure.

Still, I am trying to be grateful.

1. Sadie, the one I worry about the most when she gets sick because she is the youngest non-nursing member of the family (I don’t worry about nursing babies so much because their illnesses are so mild and they never get dehydrated because breastmilk stays down so well) was well by the time she got back from my Mom’s.

2. Caleb is old enough that other than occasional checking in, he is self sufficient when sick. (Once when I fetched a blanket to put on him when he was lying on the sofa, he told me “Nevermind me mom, you go take care of yourself.” So sweet!)

3. Ruby hasn’t gotten it yet and if she does, I’ll at least be mostly well. And she is old enough now that she is happy letting my mom or her Daddy care for her in my place.

4. My husband has been right as rain so far. He puts the kids through the evening routine and rocks Ruby to sleep for me.

5. Mothers. What would we do without them? When I was too weak to stand up my mom was here cooking for everyone and playing with the baby.

It could be worse!

Posted in Mothering | 2 Comments

Raw Milk Yogurt in the Slow Cooker

Posted on January 22, 2012 by carrie

After Stonyfield Farms made the unfortunate decision to homogenize their organic yogurt, I was determined to try my hand at making my own. And since the only milk we buy and consume around here is raw milk, of course it was going to be raw milk yogurt.

I bought a nifty yogurt maker on Craigslist and some lovely yogurt starter from Cultures for Health. I was so excited! I envisioned my youngsters eating raw milk yogurt topped with fruit for breakfast, snacks and dessert.

Two totally failed attempts later, discouragement set in. I was already about $30 invested in this project with nothing to show for it. Ouch. Since kefir making is so easy and free, I had almost decided to just give up and let kefir be my main dairy probiotic food.

What I didn’t know yet was that making yogurt from raw milk without cooking it a little first (hence, making it not raw) was nearly impossible. Most people are unable to pull it off. Why? Because the naturally occurring enzymes, one of the things that makes raw milk so good for you, compete with the yogurt culture. The yogurt never sets.

After doing some more research, I was at least determined to heat my raw milk first. Even “cooked”, the finished product would be far superior to anything store bought. But I still wanted a simpler method.

I enjoy Christine’s blog, A Year of Slow Cooking. One day while perusing her recipes I found this on the sidebar: You Can Make Yogurt In Your Slow Cooker.

Bingo! Guess what I ate this morning?
Yoghurt from buffalo milk Creative Commons License photo credit: FotoosVanRobin

A big huge bowl of raw milk yogurt, made in the slow cooker. Teehee.

It’s delicious, I think even tastier than store bought. I like the taste of plain, unflavored yogurt, but I’m sure the kids will want to add a little honey or fruit. It has a very mild, clean refreshing taste. Yum!

The only caveat is that the texture is a little runny. I think I need to keep the milk heated in the slow cooker a tad longer next time. If that doesn’t work, I’ll just add a packet of plain unflavored gelatin. I don’t mind the texture, it’s like drinkable yogurt, but I bet the kids would prefer it with a little more drag on the spoon. It was so easy too. And only one bowl to wash (the slow cooker crock).

I’ve calculated that making my own amounts to at least a 50% savings over store bought to boot. Because I despise “uni-tasking” appliances, I’m thrilled that I can now sell my yogurt maker.

If you’re interested in making raw milk yogurt (or pasteurized for that matter) in your slow cooker, be sure to check out Christine’s instructions. The comments have some useful info too.

Posted in Food | Tagged , | 6 Comments

Hi to Miss Minimalist Readers

Posted on January 17, 2012 by carrie

Francine Jay, best selling author and writer of the lovely blog Miss Minimalist was sweet enough to publish my profile yesterday. You can read it here:

Larger Family Minimalism

I thought I would link to a few of my favorite posts about simplifying and minimalism so Francine’s readers can get to know me a little better, as well as address a question that came up in the comments.

Am I Limiting The Children Somehow Because They Don’t Do Extracurricular Activities?

Good question!

At the time of that writing, none of the kids were doing extracurricular activities, but at this moment one is taking piano lessons (he has been self taught for a long time however), and 2 are taking ballet classes. These classes are for a couple of months and aren’t long term.

In the past, the kids have taken a variety of classes (art, pottery, dance), and are very involved with friends and activities through a homeschool field trip group.

It’s not that outside activities are banned, it’s that the kids seem happier when we don’t “go” a lot.

The children pursue a lot of their own interests … two of the kids are musicians (guitar, piano), one is a prolific writer, one has a thriving eBay business, one loves to sew, one started a book club recently… and we are learning Spanish as a family… so no, I don’t think the kids are limited or being held back in any way.

Generally speaking I think many kids are too overscheduled these days. It’s better for them to have lots of time to just be… this is why they can pursue their own interests in their own way.

Now for a few of my favorite posts on simple living and minimalism, larger family style:

Francine’s book is on my wish list, but I have read her ebook and it’s excellent! You can download it for .99 here: Miss Minimalist: Inspiration to Downsize, Declutter, and Simplify

Posted in Homemaking | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

I Heart Morning Sickness

Posted on January 14, 2012 by carrie

I complain about morning sickness. I do. (I hate calling it that, because it’s 24 hours a day for me and many women.)

But don’t misunderstand.

I’m grateful for morning sickness.

At my first prenatal appointment, my midwife couldn’t hear the baby’s heartbeat.

She told me not to worry, that you can only hear it 50% of the time at this stage, and that my uterus (which is tipped) is way down in my bowels. They would have had to skewer me with the Doppler to get at baby’s heartbeat, my own was so loud.

I had to remind myself to breathe.

Later on, on the drive home, hubby asked me if I was worried.

“No. But I would be, if I wasn’t sick 24 hours a day.”

The sickness, although a curse, is oddly comforting. It reminds me, moment by moment, of what my body is doing. It tells me that my hormone levels are high enough to sustain the pregnancy.

Last night as I lay in my bed in the dark quiet, asking the room to please stop spinning, I picked up my phone to see if there was something interesting I could watch on TED.com to distract me.

This came up.

Warning: If you get to the end of this short video without tearing up, call an ambulance. Because you have no pulse.

Posted in Mothering | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Ass+U+Me

Posted on January 13, 2012 by carrie

You know what I find interesting lately?

What people assume.

I was taught that when you assume, you make an ass+u+me.

But, I was raised right. Not everyone learned that wisdom.

I find it humorous that people assume that because you have several children, you are overwhelmed and stressed.

I am neither.

(What I am at the moment is nauseated, but that will pass.)

That having several children is “hard”.

It’s not. At least, not for me.

That they must be accidents.

That you must not understand how the plumbing works. That you’re too ignorant to use birth control.

That a 7th child in the household couldn’t have been planned.

And they would be wrong.

Call me crazy, but I have this notion that children are a blessing.

The other day when an acquaintance I hadn’t seen in a few years met my husband and found out we had 6 children together and were expecting another, she exclaimed:

“I hope you have a good job!”

(My husband said the next time someone asked him that, he would reply, “No, I just have a really good wife!” Ain’t he sweet?)

When he assured her that he was a business owner and doing quite fine, her next question was:

“Well what about health care!?”

Umm, impertinent much? I wonder if she would appreciate my asking if her husband was prepared for retirement just because he is in his 60′s?

I can’t imagine asking someone about their financial situation. I also can’t imagine making assumptions like this about people. I can’t imagine commenting on someone’s choice of family size, or birth control, or the mechanics of sex. I honestly don’t care what someone else decides to do with their life. Their choices don’t affect me.

But these are things people say to parents of large families.

The truth is, having several children makes you smarter about where your money goes. My husband and I budget carefully. Just last night we held a Couples Meeting where we discussed the budget, make adjustments, looked at our overall financial picture, and discussed our goals.

We’re doing fine. We have no credit card debt, we just paid cash for our vehicle, we recently took an 8 day vacation, we have savings on hand for emergencies and we earn more than enough to provide for our family. Considering these facts, I would say we are doing far better than many who are saddled with credit card debt and live paycheck to paycheck.

Why am I called upon to defend myself?

Do people who assume that mothers of many are unhappy and stressed simply feel threatened? Perhaps because they don’t enjoy motherhood? I never asked for the title, but several friends have dubbed me SuperMom. Would this cause another mom to feel inferior and make inappropriate comments to me?

More assumptions about large families, just for the fun of it:

  • That your home must be a mess all the time
  • That you live in chaos
  • That you never get a quiet moment to yourself
  • That you live off the government, or even better… child support (don’t make me laugh with that last one!)
  • That your house is always loud and crazy
  • That you don’t spent time with the children individually
  • That you and your spouse can’t get alone time
  • That the breadwinner works 70+ hours a week.

I suppose you can learn a lot about a person by what they assume.

No?

My standard answer to these kinds of inappropriate questions from now on? I’m going to turn it around on the person and ask them how they’re doing in that particular area. People reflect onto your their own concerns. They reflect what’s in their heart.

Comment: “Another baby?! You guys need to get the snip!”

Reply: “Actually, we planned this child and are quite happy. Are you worried about your family planning?”

Comment: “How are you guys going to pay for all those kids?”

Reply: “We’re doing fine, thanks. Are you concerned about your finances?”

What do you think?

Posted in Mothering | Tagged , | 6 Comments

Growny

Posted on January 5, 2012 by carrie

A couple of weeks ago Sadie, 6, announced that she would make breakfast every day. I guess she figured since I’m not doing it, someone had to. And it might as well be her. I like that attitude.

This morning she made oatmeal and scrambled eggs. Everyone ate it. Except me. I had already eaten my sausage egg biscuit in bed, courtesy of hubby.

Yesterday Sadie showed me her hand. It was red, and scratched. I kissed it tenderly.

“Mom, you know that really doesn’t make it feel better.”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

She’s growing up.

She’s more Ramona Quimby than Dora.

When did this happen?

Yesterday, just as I was getting irritated at the thought of helping her clean her room again, which I do almost every day, yet by 10 AM it looks like a tornado came through it, hip deep in detritus.

At some point mid-morning I asked her to please go clean her room for 10 minutes.

“Oh, I’ve already been cleaning it.”

I got up from my beloved spot on the couch to see if I could actually tell anything had been done.

It was spotless and completely organized.  Everything on her desk was in neat little piles. No trash or laundry or bedding or God-knows-what-else scattered everywhere.

My Grandma, for whom I am named (the Lee part, not the Alice part), has an expression for a child who seems older than her years.

Growny. Pronounced grown-ee. As in, “Look at her, she’s so growny. She cooked breakfast all by herself. Bless her heart.”

This is the same women who declared to my Father, upon hearing the news of my 6th pregnancy, “Well shut my mouth!”

I don’t know if it’s one of those funny words old Southerners say that ends up being pure perfect old English – like “reckon”, or if it’s just a made up Grandmaism.

Ruby is ready to potty train, if only her mother weren’t too sick and lazy to do it right now.

She has all the signs of readiness.

She is highly verbal. She points to her diaper and says “pee” or “poo” when the appropriate event has taken place. She resists diaper changes. She pulls the diaper off whenever possible. She says “potty”. She brings us her “Big Girls Use The Potty” books and asks us to read them to her. She finds her potties and brings them to the living room. She sits on her potties – naked or fully clothed.

When I look down at the keyboard, the letters are climbing all over each other and fuzzy. My eyes go all wonky at this point in the pregnancy. I’m not ready.

She is though.

So many times with these kids I find that by the time I get around to teaching them something, they’ve already learned it. Maybe I’ll look up in my second trimester and she will have potty trained herself.

My oldest’s voice has become so deep and manly that when he talks, sometimes I don’t recognize him and think my ex husband is in the house.  His feet are monstrous.

The 10 year old makes more money on eBay every month than I do. My 8 year old looks like a supermodel with lip gloss and dimples so big you can eat soup out of them.

These kids are too growny around here.

Posted in Mothering | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

We Should Be More Like Toddlers

Posted on January 4, 2012 by carrie

We would all be a lot healthier and happier if we behaved more like toddlers. I observe my 18 month old and realize that everything you need to know about relationships and emotional and physical health you can learn from them.

I offer:

We Should Be More Like Toddlers

Sit in laps often.

When you’re angry at someone, go ahead and let them know immediately. Yell at them once. Then forget it 30 seconds later.

Squat. Climb. Run. Roll around on the floor. Keep moving, until it’s time to nap. A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Get happy and excited about things like: your water cup. A puppy. Spotting the moon. Going outside. A favorite book.

Say few things. But say them so cute that everyone stops what they’re doing to listen.

Ask for what you want. Eventually, someone will appear and help you get it.

When you do something good, applaud yourself. Don’t wait for others to notice.

Eat a few bites. Then run around a lot.

If you want love, ask someone to rock you.

More about why I love toddlers.

 

Posted in Mothering | 3 Comments

Week 10

Posted on January 3, 2012 by carrie

I like reading blogger’s pregnancy updates. I like seeing (covered up) belly shots. Not that I’ll be posting any. But updates, yes.

My little prune is coming along nicely, from the feel of things. I’m sick day and night and although eating beans are helping, I still feel horrible.

How do I know they’re helping?

Because Saturday I forgot to eat beans, and Sunday was the most violently ill I’ve been so far this pregnancy.

When I lie down, my belly sticks up. My pants don’t fit, and I’m wearing a belly band to keep them from falling off unzipped. Funny how, after several babies, your body begins showing when you’re 5 minutes pregnant.

I spent most of my day trying to find something that I can tolerate eating. I take two bites then push it away.

It’s survival mode at the moment. These are the weeks of frozen waffles for the kid’s breakfasts, and paper plates. Cooking breakfast is out of the question. I tried it today, only to vomit in front of my husband and son in the kitchen trash can.

The crushing fatigue is thankfully lifting. I can get through the day without a nap. But bedtime comes at 8. Not that I fall asleep, but being still in a quiet dark room helps me deal with the intense waves of nausea that come at night.

It’s funny how you forget everything.

Like, you cannot imagine how it feels to be so severely nauseated 24 hours a day, to gag painfully every time you brush your teeth/open the fridge or dishwasher/change a diaper/smell someone’s breath. To have your food come up to your uvula several times a day, only willpower keeping it down. Make no sudden movements. It’s beyond description. Like food poisoning that lasts for months, not hours.

Then when you’re about 36 weeks pregnant it hits you.

Oh. Crap. Labor.

It suddenly dawns on you that you’re going to have to go through that pain again.

Why something as beautiful and life changing as bringing forth new life has to be accompanied by so much pain and discomfort and icki-poo-ness? I don’t get it.

And as soon as the baby comes, I’ll forget it all over again.

The kids have discovered old Cosby Show episodes on Netflix, and watching them starting from the pilot episode.

Which is fine by me. As screen time goes, they could do far worse. As it is, the oldest already knows Billy Cosby’s “Himself” routine practically verbatim. He’s getting some fresh material.

Water you doin?

Posted in Mothering | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Being Eco-Friendly With Your Food Even When You’re Finished With It

Posted on January 2, 2012 by carrie

Being Eco-Friendly With Your Food – Even When You’re Finished With It

Last week, I was at my local retailer doing some homemaking-related shopping. I bought some water softener for the wash, a new garlic press, and a cutting board. I also browsed up and down the aisles as I often do, checking out the stainless-steel appliances and the line of new blenders. Just as I was about to leave the section and head to the check-out, something interesting caught my eye: a do-it-yourself composting kit.

photo.JPG
Creative Commons License photo credit: 305 Seahill

While I have friends who compost foods in their backyards, I had never before seen such a kit in the store. Seeing the kit got me thinking. In my life, on a weekly basis, I make every effort to be green and eco-friendly when it comes to sourcing, preparing, and eating my food. I look for locally grown and all-natural products. I prepare meals that are high in beans and low in red meat. From the moment a crop is planted until the moment its product lands on my plate, I make every effort to be as sustainable and green as possible.

But all too rarely do I take time to consider what comes after my meal, when food all too often becomes garbage and garbage all too often turns into trash. While this is perhaps a less “sexy” component of the sustainable food cycle, it is an important one nonetheless. As I stood in the store and pondered all this, I quickly arrived at an impulse decision. I bought the compost kit.

A few days have passed since I made that purchase. At first setting up the compost bin in my yard was admittedly a challenge, largely because I had no idea what I was doing and no expectation of whether it would work. But the bin has quickly turned into an excellent and efficient way for disposing many of the fruits and veggies that my family consumes – and for doing so in a highly eco-friendly manner.

My new composting practice has helped me become more cognizant of what I do with my food after I eat it. I’ve taken to saving all leftovers, even when only a small amount of food remains. I’ve started cleaning out my recyclable materials more thoroughly, just to insure that they won’t get rejected by the recycling plant and deferred to a landfill. And, finally, I’ve started paying extra attention to my trash bin. What food products or by-products am I throwing out? How can this amount be reduced?

I hope that my vigilance continues. While going green in your food preparation is certainly half the battle, it’s just as important to cover that second half – and dispose of your meals in an environmentally-friendly manner.

Posted in Food | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Check Out The Mama Natural Show

Posted on December 29, 2011 by carrie

I’m on vacation this week, hanging out with my extended family in a cabin in South Carolina.

If you haven’t seen this awesome show yet, be sure to check out the Mama Natural Show! It’s a fun, newsy vlog that keeps you updated on the latest in the natural mothering community without taking up a lot of your time (her shows are minutes long, and unlike most video I’ve seen online, actually enjoyable to watch!)

Her 21st episode mentioned yours truly.

Fun stuff, and Genevieve is a great gal. I’ve found a new favorite site!

Posted in Cool stuff | 2 Comments