Chores, Chores, Chores
April 20, 2006 | 1 Comment
Well the verdict is in: The last 4 guests on Natural Moms Talk Radio sang the praises of chores. If you’re not giving your kids regular work to do around the house, you may be doing them a disservice.
It occurred to me recently while washing dishes (where I get my usual epiphanies), that the glut of information we parents have received in recent years on self esteem and kids may have come from our own fear of putting our kids to work. After all, did little Johnny, who ran a tractor at 8 years old and could see in a physical way how his contribution helped the family eat, have self esteem issues? Did young Mary, who pounded dough for the morning loaf and then gathered eggs for breakfast, worry about the size of her rear end?
Something tells me, no. Perhaps by letting our kids play all the time instead of having them contribute to the family work in a very real sense, we’re actually robbing them of what makes them feel worthwhile… worthy work.
I agree very much with Kelly Nault, author of When You’re About to Go Off the Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids With You
What can your kids do to lighten your load and contribute more to family harmony? My almost 8 year old cleans his bathroom every day (his is cleaner than mine, hands down!), vacuums and sweeps occasionally, helps fold laundry and assists Daddy with outdoor chores.
5 year old Julien brings me his laundry basket, puts clean laundry away, and sweeps under the kitchen table every day.
Even 3 year old Ilana can fold washcloths (and does a decent job with the towels too), put her clean clothing away, wipe up her spills, pick up toys, and “wash dishes”. (You’d be surprised how clean they’ll get with an energetic toddler swishing them around in a bowl of warm water and suds!) Each of them is also responsible for putting their dirty dishes in the dishwasher. I don’t pick up dirty laundry off the floor either.
Put the kids to work- you’ll be doing them and you, a favor!
More resources:
How do I get my kids to clean? and Chores for children
Dumb Parenting Advice: Don’t Soothe Your Baby
April 5, 2006 | Leave a Comment
Does anyone who writes for Parents magazine ever stop to think what they’re saying when they disseminate dumb parenting advice? To wit, I uncovered the following little gem in a recent parenting publication.
“If your child starts crying an hour after a full meal, avoid using your breast or a bottle to soothe her. Eventually she’ll learn to trust that when she’s hungry, she’ll get fed.”
Is it just me, or is that a contradiction? If you don’t nurse a baby or give her a bottle when she cries to be fed, how will she learn to trust? That is, in my opinion, dumb parenting advice.
For starters, who are the invisible people inside the popular parenting magazine (designed to sell you a million different products you don’t need and that can actually do you and your baby more harm than good) to say your baby isn’t hungry?
Have you ever eaten an hour after a “full” meal? Or drank something an hour after a “full meal”? Do the diet scheduling police come after you?
To a baby, food is love. If the baby is breastfed, especially, he may want to nurse because he’s:
hungry
thirsty
lonely
tired
needing to suck
teething
ill
about to become ill
bored
And that’s perfectly acceptable to me. One researcher noted that breastfeeding mothers in one preindustrial society nursed their babies, on average, every 4 minutes. The babies were tied to their bodies and they simply swing him around to the front and nurse. Work, life, etc doesn’t have to stop.
Telling a nursing Mom to deny baby the breast is a recipe for milk supply issues. The more frequently baby nurses, the higher the fat content of the milk.
Besides, is there some great sin in letting baby learn to soothe, not by self, but by another warm loving person? Let’s take this a bit further, shall we?
Is it wrong for a toddler to reach for a hug when she falls down?
Is it wrong for a preschooler to reach for Dad when he falls off his bike?
Is it wrong for a teen to reach out to a parent when a friend falls victim to drugs or alcohol?
I don’t know about you, but I surely hope my kids reach out to me instead of “self soothing”.
People tend to soothe themselves with chocolate, alcohol, cigarettes, and credit cards. If I don’t soothe the people I love, are they going to be more likely to look to alternatives that are far less healthy? Teens may reach for other teens (with the accompanying problems that result: teen pregnancies, drugs/alcohol, etc). Spouses may reach to someone outside the marriage, shopping and credit card debt, alcohol, etc.
Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we were conditioned, from infancy, to reach out to a warm loving person who has their best interests at heart instead?
Chat With Moms
April 4, 2006 | 2 Comments
If you’re looking for a place to chat with other Moms, check out MomsTalkForum, a new bulletin board for Moms to talk about kiddos, husbands, daily life, all the dish. We’re having fun so come on over 