Download the mp3 HERE.
Peek-a-Boo-B Raising Funds for World Breastfeeding Week
July 31, 2007 | Leave a Comment
Many of you may know that August 1-7 is World Breastfeeding Week.
Peek-a-Boo-B nursing covers is donating a portion of their proceeds to La Leche League USA. More info below.
Cayden Creations and Dana and I are ready to finally to step up and start fulfilling our corporate mission to support La Leche League-USA (LLL-USA) and other breastfeeding organizations. In support of the LLL-USA World Breastfeeding Week August 1-7, 2007 we are doing a fundraiser from the proceeds of our Peek-a-Boo B Nursing Cover sales during the entire month of August.
With all my heart, I thank you sincerely for spreading the word for us.
Warmest regards,
Darlene and Dana
And This Is Why….
July 31, 2007 | Leave a Comment
women are so completely awesome.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xath6kOf0NE
Wordless Wednesday: Berry Pickin’ Pics
July 28, 2007 | 1 Comment
Eating Organic: Tips to Help You Save Money
July 22, 2007 | 15 Comments
I hear a lot of people commenting that eating mostly organic foods isn’t attainable for the average family. I beg to differ on that. The other day I sat down to write an article with all the ways I’ve been able to eat more organic with my existing food budget.
Actually, I feed 4 kids on far less than most people feed 2 kids because of my frugal ways. It does take a bit more time and work, but our food determines our health, so it’s worth it to me! I thought I would share some of these with you. Please comment below and share your own tips. 
Eating More Organic Without Busting The Budget
So you’re convinced of the benefits of eating organic, but the price tag has got you down. The good news is that with a little creativity and perhaps a change in routine, it is possible to eat a mostly organic diet within the confines of your existing grocery budget. Try some of these ideas that have worked for my family.
Search your newspaper or online for farmer’s markets in your area. You can also search LocalHarvest.org and RealMilk.org (for organic milk of course!). Many times these small farmers utilize organic practices, but you can always ask if in doubt.
photo credit: jwalsh
Farmer’s Markets
You can also find “you pick” farms locally if you search the newspaper, your county extension office or just by asking around. These often have great prices since you have to do the work. Going berry picking is fun as well as educational. Bring the kids and make a day of it.
Buy In Bulk
Larger health grocery stores often have a nice variety of bulk items. Some have bulk bins that allow you to bring your own containers for your grains, soap, maple syrup, and many other products. These can offer huge savings, especially on certain items like spices and herbs.
While it may seem odd to buy a 15 pound bag of organic brown rice, if you eat it frequently and have a little space in your freezer, bulk is a smart idea. Bring a calculator and see how much the cost is per serving. You might be pleasantly surprised. Large wholesale chains are also now offering some organic choices.
Skip Boxed and Prepared Foods
Grocery stores typically have a fairly large selection of boxed, convenience foods in the organic section. But you pay a premium for these products. The same goes for precut and washed veggies and fruit, which actually have fewer nutrients due to the fact that they’ve had more exposure to light and oxygen.
When I discovered how easy and quickly I can make things like mac and cheese (with whole grain noodles too) from scratch, I realized that even the organic versions of these kinds of products are expensive and create more waste.
photo credit: nick farnhill
Spend More Time in the Kitchen
A homemade stew made from organic ingredients will still cost less than non-organic frozen lasagne. It will also be much healthier, without preservatives and other additives. If you have a bread machine gathering dust somewhere, put it to use and make a couple of loaves a week with organic flour. You’ll likely still save money over premade bread from the store. This would be a great task to assign one of your kids.
Know What’s Important to Buy Organic
There are certain foods that are more likely to contain pesticide residues. For instance, fatty items like dairy products, butter, and meats. If you’re on a tight budget, it would be better to buy these items organic than organic produce. Why? Because hormones and pesticide residues will collect in the fatty tissues of animals. You can’t really wash a stick of butter!
Apples and strawberries should be purchased organic because they’re heavily sprayed. Corn and soy are usually genetically modified so buy those organic too. On the other hand, researchers have found that broccoli doesn’t have pesticide residues.
Focus on Veggies
If you eat more whole grains, vegetables and beans and use meat as a topping or seasoning agent, you’ll naturally spend much less. Many families find that they can afford to eat mostly organic when they eat less animal protein. Try making vegetarian, bean based dinners at least 3 nights a week.
CSAs and Co-Ops
Do a Google search to find a local community sustained agriculture (CSA) that allows you to trade a little work (or a little money) for fresh organic homegrown goods.
You can also join a co-op to buy just about anything from boxed organic food, vitamins and personal care items. Or just get together with a friend to pool your resources and buy from companies that offer a wholesale program. Search online for co-ops for everything from organic skin care to vitamins to raw milk. Yahoo and Google email groups are a good place to look.
photo credit: inspector_81
Grow Your Own
If growing your own garden seems overwhelming, just start with one tomato plant or a small windowbox herb garden. Enlist the help of your kids and make it into an educational experience. Or find a neighbor who you can start a small garden with and share the work.
Go Online for Organics
Believe it or not, you can save money by buying organic food online. Some retailers offer free shipping with a small minimum purchase, others offer great prices on bulk items. The time and gas savings can also make it very worthwhile.
You can also find coupon codes for some of the retailers. Searching manufacturer’s websites often turns up printable coupons, especially if you join their newsletters. Do a Google search for your favorite brands. And join sites like Ecobunga. In addition, Natural Grocers has a referral program so you can earn free groceries by recommending them to friends and writing product reviews.
Natural Moms Podcast #56
July 17, 2007 | 5 Comments
This week my guest is Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, health psychologist and International Board Certified Lactation Consultant. Kathleen is the author of many books
She joins us today to talk about how breastfeeding moms can overcome depression naturally. Download the mp3 HERE. Or, read the transcript below.
Carrie: You’re back with Carrie at Natural Moms Talk Radio and we are joined this week by our special guest, Kathleen Kendall-Tackett. Hi Kathleen.
Kathleen: Hi, how are you, Carrie?
Carrie: Wonderful, and how are you today?
Kathleen: I’m very well, thank you.
Carrie: Good. So, today we are going to talk about some research that you have put together around breastfeeding moms and depression: nutrition and other breastfeeding-friendly ways of handling depression.
First of all, let me just talk a little bit about your background. You’re a board certified lactation consultant, a health psychologist. You’ve written several books on depression and other health topics and one book that I have really enjoyed is The Hidden Feelings of Motherhood.
This is something that is right up your alley, your area of expertise, and I think it’s a huge and important issue so I’m going to let you just run with this topic.
Kathleen: Well, there are a couple of areas I want to address. One of the things that I’d like to mention is part of what I’m going to be talking about today is information that I’ve put together in a journal article that just came out in the International Breastfeeding Journal. I mentioned that because that’s something that if people who are listening are interested, that article is free online in its full text form. It’s a BioMed Central article, which means anybody can copy it, print it, whatever, and there is no charge for that. That’s at the website internationalbreastfeedingjournal.com.
One of the things that we’ve discovered over the last few years is that inflammation is actually at the heart of depression, that a lot the psychosocial and physical stressors that we know are risk factors for depression. The way that the body reacts to those, it actually increases inflammation.
What that means in terms of practical aspect is that changes the way that we look at depression. One of the things that we’ve discovered is that a lot of the things that we know work for treating depression also deal with inflammation. They specifically lower inflammation levels.
A good example of that is St John’s Wort. They’ve known for a long time that it’s anti-inflammatory, but they didn’t realize that that was probably one of the reasons why it worked.
For me, the most exciting part of this is what this means in terms of the omega-3 fatty acids. For a long time we’ve talked about those, but we didn’t really know why they worked. Now, because we understand the mechanism, we can see that the omega-3 fatty acids actually specifically address that inflammation. They actually lower those inflammatory markers that are in the blood.
That’s actually one of the reasons why you see things like lower rates of depression in countries that eat a lot of fish, for example. Those are the things that we’ve discovered and that’s actually what’s really exciting is because I think it actually have some direct relevance for some of the advice that we give to moms.
Carrie: When you talk about inflammation, it makes me think of illnesses like arthritis and fibromyalgia, which tend to coexist with depression and it’s like what came first? The depression or that illness… the chicken or the egg question, but they probably coexist because of that same core issue.
Kathleen: Exactly. Another thing is if you look at a whole list of illnesses, you mentioned two, inflammatory arthritis and fibromyalgia, but there are actually a lot of other diseases that we’re discovering are related to inflammation.
Two of the ones that I’ve been actually really interested in, is looking at heart disease and metabolic syndrome, which is the precursor syndrome to type 2 diabetes. Both of those are actually inflammatory too and both of those are also listed as illnesses that tend to have high rates of depression. Again, we’re understanding this process. So, it’s not just true for prenatal and peripartum women, but it’s actually true across the lifespan.
photo credit: Daquella manera
Here’s actually the interesting piece for pregnancy and postpartum though. One of the things we’ve discovered is that these inflammation levels naturally rise in the last trimester of pregnancy and one of the reasons I thought that was so interesting is because that’s exactly the pattern of depression that we see, that you don’t actually see the highest rates of depression after birth, although they’re substantial. Where you actually see the higher rates is in that last trimester and that absolutely fits that pattern.
What those proinflammatory cytokines do or those inflammation markers do is that they actually prepare the body for labor. What’s intriguing about that is that the same mechanism is actually probably responsible for the link between preterm birth and depression because depression is a risk factor for having a preterm baby. Again, we didn’t really understand why.
It’s been a pretty robust finding. We’ve seen it across several studies, but the mechanism we didn’t understand. If you have something like depression causing an increase in this inflammation, that’s the body’s signal that it’s time to deliver the baby. One of the markers they specifically look at is specifically right into the cervix so you can see why all of a sudden you’ve got high levels of that because of depression, why you might see somebody more likely to have a preterm baby.
Carrie: So, what goes wrong there if that inflammation serves a purpose and it is normal and a natural phenomenon? What is it that goes wrong that triggers the depression? Are there other contributing factors?
Kathleen: It’s really a matter of too much of a good thing. You can have optimum levels of it that there are certain amounts of what you would expect to see, but you can have too much. That’s where actually people get into trouble.
Let’s say you are going into the last trimester of pregnancy and so your levels are already elevated, but then you add depression into the mix and it kicks it up into a “too much” category and now all of a sudden it puts you more at risk for depression.
We have to remember that these are good things. We don’t want it necessarily completely eliminated, but what we want to do is get it back into the range that it’s supposed to be in. It’s the same thing with stress hormones. Stress hormones are very useful. They are signs basically to protect our lives and get us out of tight situations, but what doesn’t seem to work out very well for us is when we have too many of them. It’s the same thing with these inflammatory markers.
Again, if you have a lot of things that are making those inflammatory markers rise, you’re going to get too much, and then you are increasing the risk of depression. What I think is actually cool, again, it’s like I said, to me, all of a sudden this explains why we’re seeing the studies that we are with the omega-3 fatty acids. I think it’s actually exciting to see this thing we’ve known for a while, but now we understand why it works.
For me, that means that I think we can even more confident in talking about those with pregnant and postpartum women because so many women in this country are really deficient in those. We just don’t naturally eat them very much unless we love fish. A lot of women who are pregnant don’t want to eat fish because they’re worried about contamination, which I think is a very realistic concern.
Carrie: So, what is your recommendation?
Kathleen: Well, we have several options. There’s an organization that I’m sure your listeners are familiar with called the US Pharmacopeia. US Pharmacopeia is actually a group that has grown up to govern the nutraceutical industry. People can voluntarily submit to be evaluated by this organization and then they get a seal that says that their product is what it says it is, it’s contaminant-free, etc., etc. The USP has actually certified five different brands of fish oil that are over the counter. There’s also the pharmaceutical grade fish oil like Natrol. There’s also a vegetarian DHA supplement that it’s a number of different forms. It’s in prenatal vitamins and a couple of different sources and it’s in some food products. Those are a lot of different ways that moms can get safe sources of these essential fatty acids.
One thing I really want to make sure I clarify though is flaxseed is ALA. It’s not EPA or DHA and EPA/DHA, the long chain omega-3s are the ones you need for depression. Flaxseed doesn’t do anything for depression mainly because our body takes something like ALA, which is the essential fatty acid in flaxseed and it converts it the long chain ones, but it’s pretty inefficient. In order to get like 1 mg of DHA, you have to consume 20 mg of ALA. If you eat that much flax, you’re not leaving the bathroom. It’s not something that’s going to be helpful in terms of depression. It doesn’t hurt you; it’s actually good for you in other ways. It’s just it doesn’t help with depression. Those are all sources.
Now, if you want specific sources of information, on the New Hampshire Breastfeeding Taskforce website, we actually have not only our postpartum curriculum, but we have handouts for mothers that actually specifically list brands that mothers can use.
The documents are all hyperlinked so you can actually click right to the website for these different products and we don’t sell any of these products. We have no financial relationship with any of these groups. That website is nhbreastfeedingtaskforce.org. Those are places that you can go. The US Pharmacopeia is actually really easy, it’s usp.org. Both of those sites actually will have a lot of information on specific brands. One of the brands I like and in fact it’s the one I take is Nature Made and they sell it at Wal-Mart for like $5 for 100.
Carrie: Really?
Kathleen: Yeah.
Carrie: Wow. That’s good to know.
Kathleen: You know, when I was first writing about this, it was depressing because the only brands I felt safe recommending to mothers were those brands that were not cheap. How realistic was it to expect most pregnant or breastfeeding women to go get a pharmaceutical grade fish oil for $65 a crack? I just didn’t think that was very realistic and so I felt like here, we have this wonderful resource, but that it was really inaccessible to most mothers and that’s not true anymore and I’m actually really excited about that.
Carrie: Yeah, that’s great. That’s good to know. You addressed the issue of being concerned about eating fish during pregnancy. I was going to ask you about that. What other research have you uncovered in addition to the information about the essential fatty acids?
Kathleen: Well, one of the things that we look at is we were very interested also in the impact of exercise. There have been actually a number of different studies looking specifically at exercise as a treatment for depression.
One of my favorite ones that I always mention whenever I do a talk on this is there was a randomized clinical trial that was conducted at Duke University Medical Center and they’ve put aerobic exercise head to head with Zoloft.
This is for people with major depression and that’s actually one of the reasons why I think the study is so significant because most of the other ones have looked at a mild to moderate depression, but this one actually look at major depression.
What they found is that exercise was as effective as Zoloft for treating major depression in this group. The most exciting stuff actually came later when they looked at relapse rates because the relapse rates were significantly better in the exercise group than they were in the Zoloft group. It was a difference of like 28% versus 51%.
Carrie: That’s incredible. It really is.
Kathleen: Yeah. It’s exciting too because, again, it’s another non-pharmacologic things that moms can try. It doesn’t actually take very much. It’s about two to three times a week, about 20 to 30 minutes, moderate intensity exercise.
Carrie: Does it matter what kind? Does it have to be aerobic?
Kathleen: It doesn’t have to be aerobic. It can be strength training, you get the same effects. Again, thinking about realistically what moms can do in terms of what they can squeeze into their day, I think we sometimes set the bar so high that moms can’t possibly do it, but for most moms I think actually trying to squeeze in 20-minute walks a couple of times a week is realistic. I think that that’s exciting.
Some stuff that actually has just come out within the last month or so has specifically looked exercise and these inflammatory markers. The findings have been mixed and I think part of it has to do with looking at intensity of exercise. If you do too much, it can actually go the opposite way. It actually increases inflammation, but it’s that moderate amount that seems to be the good amount in terms of not only controlling that inflammation, but it also controls stress. It makes people feel less stressed and I think anybody who exercises regularly knows that. They are having a really bad day, they go and they take a walk or something like that and they feel better.
Carrie: At the gym where I work out, sometimes I’ll see women and they say, “Why are you here? You don’t need to lose weight,” and I’ll say, “I come here because it keeps me sane. I have four children and I have to come here to work out my stress.”
Kathleen: You’re absolutely right and you know what? The research actually does support exactly what your experience has been, that you go and you feel better. That’s a really good reason to do it for a lot of people.
Carrie: Yeah and it’s self-sustaining as you do it and you feel that benefit, the more you want to do it. The hard thing is for a person who is depressed. It’s getting them to that point that is very difficult.
Kathleen: Oh, it absolutely is hard. I do a lot of teaching for healthcare providers and one of the things I always say is, “Look, this year, you’re gonna have to do some teambuilding stuff because this is gonna be the absolute last thing [depressed] people feel like doing.”
Carrie: Right. Yeah, very true.
Kathleen: I’ll never forget. I was speaking at a conference in Lake Michigan and there was this gal and she looked like this Amazon standing there. She’s like 6 feet, very Nordic-looking and holding this 3-year-old on her hip like it was nothing in terms of like weight and stuff versus a lot of us would be crushed by that weight. She’s like, “What can we do to get these mothers to exercise?” It was very clear for her that that was never a problem.
Before I could even say anything, another mother in the audience said, “You know, I have chronic fatigue syndrome. I have six children and it’s just you’ve put it much more realistic face on why it’s hard for some mothers to do this.” Again, like I said, I don’t think this gal ever had a problem not exercising, but for a lot of moms, especially moms who weren’t necessarily exercisers before, this is going to be something that’s going to be a little bit of a stretch, but I think if they can understand what the benefits are and try to think how can we make this happen for you, what are some things that we can do to help you with this, some ways your family can help. I think a lot of moms actually could probably work it in, but they’re going to need some support in doing it.
Carrie: Yeah, absolutely. When it comes to breastfeeding and depression, tell us a little bit about what research has uncovered how babies who are breastfed actually do better (when their mothers are depressed) than if they are not breastfed. Do you want to share some about that?
Kathleen: I think that that’s been a really important finding because we have a fairly large body of evidence that tells us that babies of mothers who are depressed have difficulties. There are lots of things that modify that: if the baby has a non-depressed adult to interact with, if the mother has a higher level of education, all of these things can lessen that effect, but it is important for us to really be realistic about the fact that there are some negative impacts of having a mom who is depressed.
One of the things that this one study looked at, the first one they really looked at whether breastfeeding made a difference, all these other studies and there has been just dozens and dozens of them never really looked at that believe it or not. I think partly it’s just the way that the field is. They don’t really consider breastfeeding in the psychological impact, but this one study did it. This is done in Florida.
What they did is they compared four groups of women, women who were depressed and who were either breast- or bottle-feeding and women who were not depressed and either breast- or bottle-feeding, so a total of four groups. What they specifically were looking for was this brainwave pattern called right frontal asymmetry, which is less important to know than the fact that it’s a pattern that tends to show up in chronically depressed adults.
It was basically a measure, a physiological measure of depression in the babies. That’s something that people have observed. They look at the babies and they say, “Well, these babies looked depressed,” but you can’t obviously use that as a research thing because it’s fairly subjective. Somebody just looked at them and say, “Well, they looked depressed.” They were trying to find some other objective physical criteria that satisfy that.
Anyway, what happened in the study is when they looked at these babies, what they found is that the mothers who were breastfeeding but depressed, their babies looked normal, that the breastfeeding was protecting those babies. One of the things that they have speculated on why is they have observed the moms and the babies together and they found that the depressed breastfeeding mothers couldn’t disengage from the baby. It’s built into the breastfeeding relationship.
What happens sometimes in depression is that moms sometimes stop interacting with their babies and it’s very easy in a culture that doesn’t think it’s bad to leave a baby in a car seat all day, it’s very easy to just disengage from your baby, prop up a bottle and never even look at or touch or talk to your baby if you’re feeling depressed. With breastfeeding, you can’t really do that, so even if you’re not maybe as interactive as you normally would be, you can’t completely disengage. You still have to look at your baby and you’re going to be touching your baby.
Within that relationship, a lot of times you’re talking, so even though it might be less than you would normally do, you still are there and that’s actually what seemed to make the difference for these babies. I thought that was actually a very important study.
I was speaking to a peer counselor down in New York City and she works with a mostly Latina population. She comes from that culture herself. She told me in her culture, she says a lot of the moms don’t want to breastfeed if they’re depressed because they’re feeling like they’re giving the depression to the baby. She said, “Well, what do I say to them?” So, I showed her the study and she said, “Oh, I think I could tell them that.” It actually is just the opposite, that it’s actually protecting the baby.
We also note that breastfeeding, when it’s going well, seems to actually also protect maternal mood. It’s not to say that if you’re breastfeeding, you’re not going to be depressed, but you have a lower risk of it. I think part of it has to do with the fact that you’re interrupting that stress response. That’s the thing that seems to trigger this physiological reaction. They’ve actually found that moms have this nice little stress buffer right after they breastfeed their babies and it’s for about half an hour. So, when they exposed these moms to a stress like in the laboratory, they found that the moms didn’t physiologically react like they would have if they just had breastfed their babies.
Breastfeeding provides this nice little cushion for moms… and moms talk about that. They sit down and nurse their babies and they feel much better. There does seem to actually be some physiological correlates of that, which is cool because one of the things that was concerning us as a breastfeeding taskforce is there is some stuff in the field right now talking about how breastfeeding is a risk factor for depression. “Well, moms can breastfeed if they absolutely must…”
What we were trying to argue was that we want the field to be more affirmative towards breastfeeding and say, “Look, there are some times when it’s not only not a risk factor, but it actually can be the vehicle back to health for the moms.” It’s definitely worth preserving. Now, this is if breastfeeding is going well. If it’s not going well, then it can become a risk factor for depression. If you’ve got somebody who’s got a lot of nipple pain or something like that, that can trigger depression.
I think part of the reason why we see some of the research results we have is they don’t differentiate anybody who is breastfeeding whether it’s going well or not, but I think even with that you’re seeing at least a mild protective effect. I think if you pulled out the women whose breastfeeding experiences weren’t going well and just look at the ones who were, I think you would see the overall. It’s actually a fairly significant protective aspect, so I think that’s something at least to tell moms.
Now, there are going to be moms always that maybe just way too overwhelmed to even have their breastfeeding and we need to respect that, but I meet a lot of moms who are told to wean their babies because they’re depressed and they say, “This is the only thing that’s going well for me.” It’s for those moms that I think we need to stand up and say, “Now, wait a second. Maybe this is something we can keep.”
Carrie: Yeah, education is so important in that. In addition, they have to understand that if they are already breastfeeding that weaning the baby may bring a host of other problems that they can’t foresee. For instance, digestive problems in the baby that causes a lot of crying.
Kathleen: Oh, yeah. That’s huge.
Carrie: So, that can add to their stress load.
Kathleen: I can’t tell you the number of moms I know who have experienced that. Overall, the majority won’t, but there is a significant number of moms whose babies are very allergic and then what are they going to do? They’re stuck on these really expensive $70 a day formulas because they can’t tolerate anything else. I think, again, it’s something we don’t want to discourage lightly.
We always have to be conscious of what the mom wants to do and we certainly can never force anybody to breastfeed, but I think sometimes we’ve swung the other way and a lot of times we’re saying, “Well, maybe if we just wean the baby would be better,” and then these poor moms get into it and discover that it’s made things at least more complication and that’s not a good thing.
Carrie: Well, thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing this very important information with our listeners. I really appreciate it.
Kathleen: Well, I’m happy to do it. One other site I’d like to mention is we have a site that we’ve also listed a lot of this information on is breastfeedingmadesimple.com. I’ve got quite a few of the articles, I’ve got a depression page and I’ve also got a page for women who are abuse survivors. A lot of the things we’ve talked about, I’ve actually got papers and stuff on there that moms can take a look at.
Carrie: Okay, great. Thank you for mentioning that.
Kathleen: Well, I thought that might be helpful. Thank you very much for having me on your show.
Carrie: Oh, you’re quite welcome.
More resources and information:
Kathleen’s books:
The Hidden Feelings of Motherhood
Natural remedies for depression:
Nordic Naturals Fish Oil – this is Carrie’s personal favorite, it doesn’t have a strong fishy taste.
MindSoothe natural supplement for depression
Breastfeeding information:
http://www.TheHappyBreastfeeder.com
People Either Fear Children, Or Love Them
July 14, 2007 | Leave a Comment
Or perhaps more specifically, people either love free children, or fear children’s freedom. Have you noticed this?
Have you ever walked into a business establishment and the proprietors looked at you like you and your little ones were the proverbial turd in the punch bowl?
I know it’s happened to me.
Have you ever been in a situation where your small child, while still under your watchful eye, roamed a few feet from you and people around you freaked out?
I’ve had people in restaurants freak because I let my toddler use a fork. Don’t you know they could put their eye out with that?! (I just want to say, “Oh, why would he want to do that? Do you want to put your eye out with a fork? Kids have just as much interest in self preservation as adults do, you know.”)
It seems that some people are just terrified at the idea of trusting children. If they’re not strapped in and tied down, the adults are as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
I’ll give you an example of people trusting and loving children.
Today I took an opportunity, since my oldest 3 were off with their grandfather, to get a haircut. I had 22 month old Sadie with me. Normally she sits in my lap and enjoys a rare lollipop or nurses underneath the cover up (built in at a hairdressers’, lol!), but today when I went to pull her on my lap, the hairdresser said:
“If she sits there she’ll get hair all over her! She can sit right here next to you and watch.”
Firstly, she was concerned about my daughter’s comfort (who would want to get hair all over them? not me) She proceeded to lift her up (another clue – people who are afraid of kids are typically scared to touch them) and place her in the spot next to me. She put her baby doll next to her and a magazine in her lap.
“There. You can watch Mommy. See?”
Now – I’ve walked into salons before that told me they don’t allow kids.
After a few minutes, in typical toddler fashion, Sadie decided that the novelty of this chair was wearing off, so she got down. I was concerned about how the ladies working in the salon would react, but didn’t say anything.
Sadie started toddling around the room. The hairdresser didn’t miss a beat.
“She’s alright. She’s not bothering anything.”
Sadie caught the attention of one of the patrons who had just had her hair washed.
“Let me see if I have something in my pocketbook for you…”
And she proceeded to get up, grab her purse and pull out a Rice Krispie treat. She asked if it was ok to give it to her, and I said yes. So she picked her up, sat her in a different chair, and opened the bar for her. Sadie was now the center of attention. People started asking me her name and how old she was.
Sadie threw down the wrapper on the ground (we’re still working on not littering). The customer again walked over, giggled a bit and said something about her own young son, and threw the wrapper in the trash. Also a clue – people who don’t love children overreact to stuff like this, and expect far too much from a very young child.
A few moments later, again Sadie got up out of her chair. She walked over to where I was getting my hair cut and watched for a minute. Again the hairdresser seemed not the least bit concerned.
Then Sadie walked over to the electrical outlet against the wall and started touching it. Now… most people have an irrational fear of kids and outlets. Despite the fact that a child would have to put a long metal object into BOTH holes at the same time in order to get a mild shock, they still act like a child is tottering on the edge of a cobra’s hole when they get near one. I was waiting for a reaction from the employees but again, there was none.
I asked Sadie to come here, and she promptly did.
As the stylist finished up my hair, Sadie toddled around saying Hi to the receptionist (whom she called Nia, who is her occasional babysitter) and generally charming everyone in sight.
She even walked over and turned off the small radio that was right at her eye level on a small table. But instead of freaking out, the owner just said, “It will turn on again in a second.”
Now, don’t get me wrong. Sadie was not running around, screaming, putting herself and others in danger or being a nuisance.
Funny how children behave well when the adults around them don’t have irrational fears and unresolved childhood angst.
Do you think they made a local customer today? Oh, yeah.
Natural Moms Podcast #55
July 9, 2007 | Leave a Comment
This week Karen Hossink, author of Confessions of an Irritable Mother joins us.
Babies Lie – 2 Schools of Thought
July 5, 2007 | 4 Comments
Have you heard about this recent study that proves that babies as young as 6 months can “lie”? I’ll let you read about it more here if you haven’t heard it yet. Then I’ll tell you what I think about this.
Are you back? Ok.
Firstly, one camp is going to say that this proves that babies are trying to manipulate parents and that is why we should ignore their cries. See – they are as evil as we told you they were. Didn’t Grandma tell you not to pick that baby up every time s/he cries? All you parents who respond to your child’s “lies” are just spineless wimps. So there!
A couple of questions: Why do babies who are held cry an average of 40% less than babies who aren’t held? Do they not need to lie as much since their needs are being met? Perhaps the “deception” taking place is self protective? And what exactly IS manipulation?
If a friend who is upset calls me and I answer the phone, she will likely tell me what’s on her mind. But what if she gets my machine? Will she pour out her heart and cry into the voicemail? Likely not. That means she’s “lying” if she cries on my shoulder in person, right?
To be fair, likely anyone who has had a toddler has witnessed the child fall down, then immediately look around to see if they need to cry. But that doesn’t mean that the fall didn’t hurt. It means that the child will seek comfort if there is someone around to give it. What’s wrong with getting a few extra hugs and kisses? Don’t we all need that?
If you have a bad day and come home to a spouse, do you talk to them about it? My guess is, if you don’t have a spouse, you don’t have that same conversation with yourself (otherwise your neighbors might have you committed!). Does that mean you’re manipulating your spouse if you have one?
And this bit about pretend laughing. In my opinion, that just that means babies are really, really smart. They’ve already figured out, just a few months on this planet, that laughing and smiling, even if you’re putting on, make other people laugh and smile. What’s so wrong with faking happiness? Haven’t studies shown that just the act of smiling causes chemical changes in the brain that make you feel good?
I wish more adults knew that! Don’t you?
I’ll end with a lovely cartoon that illustrates how I feel about this stuff. I didn’t draw it though, Hathor did. Enjoy!
http://www.thecowgoddess.com/?p=662
Midwives, Blood, and Natural Cleaners for the Home
July 4, 2007 | Leave a Comment
Before my 2nd child was born, my midwife instructed me to buy two large bottles of hydrogen peroxide. I thought they were to disinfect something (maybe to apply to the umbilical stump? Ooh! Cooooollllld).
But, shortly after my son was born, she asked for the bottles. I watched eagerly as she grabbed the peroxide, knelt down on the floor … and began removing blood stains out of the carpet. Amazing! I had to laugh at my ignorance. She poured it liberally on the stains, blotted with a clean towel, and I watched the blood literally disappear.
Of course, that wasn’t my first experience with using natural cleaners for the home. Just the most interesting!
I LOVE baking soda. In fact I’m hard put to find a household chore that couldn’t benefit from a little sprinkle of the magic white stuff. I am going to start a thread here on this blog dedicated to none other than the multiple uses of baking soda. Will you join me?
Uses For Baking Soda
July 4, 2007 | 2 Comments
My goal is simple: To create the largest list of the possible uses for baking soda on the Internet! Will you help me? Leave a comment below (don’t forget the link to your website if you have one).
- Burned pot saver – If you have some burned gunk on the bottom of a pan (who, me?!) wet it just enough to keep damp and sprinkle baking soda liberally. (This is my favorite part.) Leave overnight. In the morning, the gunk will magically lift off.
- “Soft Scrub” – Use a drop of your favorite soap, like Dr. Bronners, and then sprinkled on some baking soda. Voila – a soft scrubbing agent. You can mix these two in a bowl together if you are in to that kind of thing.
- Stinky diaper rescue – Fuzzi Bunz or other cloth diapers or covers still stinky even after washing? Soak them overnight in the washer with hot water and an entire small box of baking soda. Drain the water, then wash with your regular detergent, more baking soda and hot water. Then dry outside. They should be all sweet smelling now.
- Facial exfoliant – If my skin is looking less than dewy, I put a bit of baking soda in my palms and use it to scrub my face. It’s super gentle but removes dead skin cells.
