Celebrate With Me
September 29, 2008 | 5 Comments
On Friday when I sent out my newsletter, I asked you all to support me in celebrating my 100th podcast. Whee!
My friend Jen created this cute little graphic for me so if you’re so inclined, you can use it in a blog post or on your site to help spread the word.
The 100th show will be up Monday morning, a week from today, so you can use it now or wait until Monday if you wish.
Thanks for making the show great!
p.s. You can right click on the image and grab the graphic’s url and use that if you wish. I share bandwidth. 
PR: No Time to Read? Try Parents Digest
September 27, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Let’s Face It……Parenting Is A Multi-Tasking Juggling Act – ParentsDigest.com Takes At Least One Ball Out Of The Air
Parenthoood is an exhilarating, life changing, and extraordinarily exhausting experience. It brings new meaning to the word “juggle” and is unexplainable until you are engulfed in it. Most parents go into it with the best intentions and aspirations. Then, upon countless sleepless nights and overscheduled days, many just try to keep their heads above water.
It happens quickly. Parents on the fly realize there is no sure-fire approach to parenting. That’s why so many advice-ridden, inspiring parenting books have been written. But, who has the time or energy to search through them as they stack up on their nightstand?
Thankfully, parents can now turn to ParentsDigest.com to get the information they need. The website is the inspiration of a Marin couple, Pam and Jack McLaughlin, who found themselves in a non-stop world with three kids under the age of three. Needless to say, there was no time to scour through books to learn about topics ranging from two year old meltdowns to bringing up children in a green, healthy environment. But, as their children grew and life became a bit more manageable they had a moment to breathe and gave birth to a great idea.
Why not summarize top-notch parenting books and share the best bite sized nuggets with over-tired parents? That idea is the inspiration of ParentsDigest.com. An experienced editorial team writes concise eight page snapshots of parenting books so parents don’t have to try to comb through them. For less than $6 a month, two book summaries are delivered on topics the parents choose. And, for a limited time, parents can receive two summaries for no charge.
“Ever since I was little, I loved to read. I was that girl that hid under the covers, clenched my flashlight in my hand, and read the latest Nancy Drew mystery,” says ParentsDigest.com founder Pam McLaughlin. “When my daughter was born, I naturally searched through bookstores for parenting books. And, with twins arriving shortly thereafter, all I craved was parenting advice. But, I had no time or energy to find it. And I know other parents don’t either. That’s why we started ParentsDigest.com. It’s basically “Cliff Notes” for parents.”
Currently, the summaries are available via email or can be downloaded in a PDF format.
ParentsDigest.com is located in Larkspur, California. The company has summaries on over 130 books and has plans to have a minimum of 200 by the end of the year. For more information, visit ParentsDigest.com.
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Natural Moms Podcast #99
September 26, 2008 | Leave a Comment
My guest this week is Donna Bateman of Parents with Purpose. Donna is a neurodevelopmental specialist and today we are talking about your child’s brain development.
Listen by clicking below or read a transcript of this interview by clicking here: Your child’s brain development.
Special announcement:
Monday, October 6 is our 100th show!
Would you call my listener’s line and share how you feel about the show? Dial (214) 615-6505 ext 2560 and let me know how you enjoy Natural Moms Talk Radio (I might use your testimonial on next week’s show so be sure to mention your website if you have one!)
Can you help support me in getting the word out about this?
I would really appreciate if if you mentioned NMTR on your site, blog, to your friends, Twitter about it, mention it on your Facebook page or wherever else you hang out online.
To celebrate I’ll be giving away tons of goodies. Everything from magazine subscriptions and books to a cloth diaper and sling… all kinds of great prizes. I also have a special guest, Jody McLaughlin of Compleat Mother magazine.
Here is a graphic you can use on your site to link to me if you desire.
Would you like to advertise on Natural Moms Talk Radio?
If you would like to expose your product or service to over ten thousand natural mamas each month and get right in their ears on the podcast, go here to see the advertising options. (For a measly $10 you can even get a directory listing!)
Thanks for being a listener.
Your Child’s Brain Development
September 25, 2008 | 1 Comment
The following is the transcript of the interview with Donna Bateman of Parents With Purpose. You can also listen to the interview here.
Carrie: My guest this week is Donna Bateman. Donna is a mom of 8 and if that wasn’t enough, a neurodevelopmental specialist. I can tell you have a lot of passion and you want to help parents and teach them what you’ve learned. Tell us what Parents with Purpose is all about.
Donna: Parents with Purpose is all about empowering parents with information. It’s so often that we parent by accident. Something happens, and we say, “Wow! Something happened and I wonder what I should do about it?” We spend so much time reacting and responding instead of stimulating and guiding. We want to put parents back in the driver’s seat. Give them a road map – here’s point ABC and how to get there.
Especially when it comes to an area that so many people think you can’t be in charge of and that’s the brain development of your children. Since the brain runs the whole show, that would be a great place to start.
The brain is everything.
So many people come to me and say “My child does this or that, can you help with that?”
Well if it starts in the brain, yes we can. And what doesn’t start in the brain? The emotions start in your brain. Your motor responses start in your brain, your academic skills, social interaction…
And so if someone has something that’s not going the way that it should, basically if someone isn’t academically successful, physically coordinated, and socially gracious…something is not working the way it should. And we can pinpoint through the integrative and developmental progression chart that whatever part of the brain is responsible for specific functions, and if something isn’t working well we can work to stimulate that particular area of the brain in an orderly way that we know the brain responds well to.
And it’s amazing when you go to the root cause of problems of the symptoms of that problem just go away.
C: I’m all into the root cause of things. I’m very much an advocate for figuring out the root cause and not just treating the symptoms.
D: I have a friend who is kind of the opposite of me, but we’re still friends. And when her children get a cold, she gives them a very strong cold medicine for 3 days so that they don’t wake up until they’re over the cold. And yeah, I tell her “Sweetheart, they still have the cold, you’re just drugging the symptoms. Perhaps we could find out why they keep getting colds. Could we look at the fact that they only ever eat processed foods and drink a ton of soda and they’re video gameaholics. Huh? I wonder if there’s some immune system not getting what it needs, so that every virus that flows by means you’ve gotta rush out to the drug store. Could we look at the root cause of that? You just gave away 3 days of your kid’s lives…could we fix that, could we turn that around to be a happier cycle instead of a negative one?”
So hopefully if I keep rubbing her in that she’ll get the idea! I love getting to root causes. I love looking at the facts and every time I teach a class to parents, and I usually teach an 8 hour class where parents come and I go through the whole development of the brain. Every time I teach that class, [parents look at me and say, Wow! This wasn’t some complicated, difficult to understand thing, I can understand this, and by the way, it kind of makes sense. It is how people really do develop. It’s very common sense.
And so once they can see it laid out clearly before them, the problem doesn’t seem so overwhelming anymore. They don’t have a label, but they do have a cause.
A label would be something like Autism or Cerebral Palsy or ADD or Asperger’s Syndrome which is so commonly diagnosed these days. Any of those – I mean I know of over 300 labels for brain injury – but none of them are really talking about what’s specifically going on in the brain.
When I talk with parents after I evaluated a child, if they ask me to do that, I might say “Well, your child has a mild/moderate/severe or profound injury to the…[part of the brain affected]“. It could either be extensive, over a lot of the areas of function, or a few of the areas of functions. It could be bilateral or unilateral. It affects one or two hemispheres. So I really want to talk about what is happening in the brain.
Because if we can get that brain functioning perfectly well, then we won’t be talking about “Billy can’t read, or Sally can’t sit in her chair or Cindy Lou keeps beating up her sister all the time, or any of those words or big ones, like little Johnny won’t ever look anyone in the eye.”
Probably the biggest thing parents have trouble with is I can’t say something to them, and reasonably and reliably expect that it will happen. I can’t give them a 4 step request and know with pretty good accuracy that they’re going to get it.
But you should be able to do that. By the time a child is 6 years old, they should be able to perform a 4 step request. So it’s exciting when parents believe that it can happen, that things can get better, because when you’re in a negative place, it’s kind of like “let my people go”. Wow, I can actually get to that positive place.
Especially if you’re hearing negative messages from family members and teachers and neighbors, if you’re constantly being bombarded with negative messages about your child, I can’t think of a worse place to live.
And you get defensive a little bit because that’s your precious child. And you probably already know that things aren’t going right, but you really don’t want someone… well you start t feel attacked. And so again, another negative vicious cycle. You feel attacked so you get defensive, so noone wants to say anything. So what’s happening is that child is not getting the help with an issue that we really can help with.
I’m also reading a really great book right now called the Brain that Changes Itself.
C: I’ve heard about that. [Note from Carrie: I read this book after the interview and it's amazing!]
D: My poor husband is not getting a lot of sleep while I read! Because it’s just so exciting, and I have my computer also set on Google alerts, that it brings information that pops up on the internet and dumps it into my email. It is so exciting to me as I’m reading about all this research because honestly Carrie, not one thing I’ve read says that I’m wrong.
Everything I’m reading says yes, we can change the brain. And the only thing that we’re doing wrong in these efforts to change the brain and make it sronger and better is that we aren’t doing enough. The brain it capable of so much more than we have been giving it credit for.
I wanted to tell you one story about a little boy that I evaluated and I am going to use his first name because I already talked to his mom and she said I could. Little Timothy was ten months old when I bumped into his mother on an internet chat group. He had gotten a vaccination and started screaming 24 hours a day. He lost all of his mobility and all of his language except for the screaming. She was a very young mother in her early 20’s and this is her first child and she was beside herself. The Doctor kept saying, “Oh you’ve just spoiled him, you just need to let him cry.” Noone was giving her any good answers.
I bumped into her on the internet and immediately emailed her, started having her do some detox because I knew he’s gotten this vaccination. Having her do some very very gentle detoxification with clay baths, and within a day he quit screaming. So she took my class and asked me to evaluate Timothy. We did, and little bit I know that she had had early childhood intervention evaluate him the day before my evaluation. I evaluated that little Timothy was six months behind in language. Even though he was a ten month old, he had a language ability of a 4 month old. And he was behind in almost all of his abilities. I wrote a program specific stimulation for the brain. What I learned about Timothy was that he couldn’t process sound properly. I blasted an air horn at this sweet little boy and he didn’t even blink. And a ten month old should come completely unsown, they should be crying and climbing up on mommy, they should be unhappy. That’s a save your life skill of a threatening sound makes me pay attention and be fearful for my life.
So she went to work on this program that I wrote for her to do in her home with her son. Her early childhood folks had said he needs speech therapy and our first appointment is in 3 weeks and we’ll come to your home. They showed up 3 weeks later, they had been doing my program for those 3 weeks and he had gained those 6 months worth of language in those 3 weeks and his services were terminated on that first visit. They did do a follow up just to make sure, which I probably think is a good idea. They did a follow up about 6 months ago before his 2nd birthday, and she had remained on the program I asked her to do and I had updated it because he needed different things. He was evaluated right before his second birthday by someone else, as being almost a 4 year old in skills.
This is a very good mother, a very diligent mother, but she’s very young and doesn’t have a ton of training. She doesn’t live in a big city, she lives in a small town. It’s not like there’s a plethora of stuff available for her. It’s just really simple things that are important to the brain. It’s the way ababies are supposd to develop.
C: You’re talking about the Baby Einstein DVDs, right? [laughs]
D: You now, actually I’m kind of not.
C: Something told me that, reading through your website, the articles… I definitely got that.
D: I’m actually kind of not. And would I say that Baby Einstein is probably better than Teletubbies? Yeah, I would probably say that. But there’s a couple of problems I have with any kind of DVDs in particular. One is the repetitive nature of them. Those repetitive over and over again – what does that sound like? It sounds like some negative autistic behaviors. Another one is the fact that they are probably - little babies if they are watching those DVDs – they are probably in a physical position that I don’t think is good for them. They’re strapped in a chair or an exersaucer or sling or some kind of device that sits them up.
C: Let’s talk about that for a second. I noticed on your site that you talk about the importance of physical activity. Something that interested me in recent years is the research around exercise being an effective antidepressant. You mention that and talk about the importance of children getting lots of physical activity. Does it matter what kind of physical activity or are you talking about a specific type of exercise?
D: What I’m talking about what would be appropriate for their stage of development. I think infants should be sleeping on their stomach, because infants are born to move. They’re created to move. When you’re pregnant, if a baby’s not moving, it’s very alarming. We rush off to the doctor and they whip out all the big equipment, everybody’s rushing around. But the minute that baby’s born, the first thing they do is wrap them up tight so they can’t move. And I’m just thinking, wait a minute. And hour ago, inside of me that would have been a problem, why is it ok now?
Then they put them on their back. Well, how much movement are we going to get then? A problem with head shape.
C: Or we’re getting a kind of a scary jerky movement. Babies don’t really like that unsettling feeling of being on their backs.
D: And what we’re teaching them is, when they are on their backs and they move their arms and legs, they don’t go anywhere. So we are sending them very bad messages about what your arms and legs are supposed to do. When you put a tiny baby on their tummy, in the crib, down at one end of the crib, and you go back later when naptime is over, most likely you find baby head up against the other end of the crib, right? They’re just boring a hole in the crib to keep going. In their sleep, they are moving and that crawling, which the medical definition of crawling is on the belly like a commando soldier under the barbed wire.
photo credit: bardgabbard
That belly crawling is the organizational duty of an area close to the brain stem. That’s also the area where we develop tracking, our eyes moving smoothly from left to right, which is a super important skill in reading. The more they crawl on their bellies, the more they move, truly for transportation, getting somewhere… the more that organizes that and catapults that up to the next level which is up on to their hands and knees.
To the next level, on hands and knees, we call creeping, and that organizes the mid brain. They creep and motor al over the house they destroy everything room 18 inches down in the house, and they’re learning. They’re putting a ton of input. They’re developing their depth perception, because now they’ve got to be able to see from their shoulder to the floor. That’s the ability to perceive depth. And they creep and motor all around the house and a whole lot of good creeping really develops mid brain and catapults them up into the cortex which is where we start walking.
C: Let me ask you, Donna. I was having a discussion with someone and we were talking about how especially in the States, parents seem to be a little overly concerned about safety and cleanliness issues. A lot of people don’t want their babies and toddlers crawling around on the floor, because they’re so worried about them putting things in their mouths etc., when that’s the way they learn… what are your thoughts on that? A parent who may be worried about that issue.
D: We are hyper sterile. Try finding any soap in the world that isn’t antibacterial. Do we want to kill every bacteria? No, a lot of it is good for us. My husband’s a Scoutmaster so you can imagine that with 5 sons, 3 daughters and a Scoutmaster husband, cleanliness has never been able to be at the top of my list.
photo credit: ZiarciRose
So, we have to kind of let kids be kids.
When I was growing up, we ran around all day outside. If you needed a drink, it came out of a water hose. We learned about tadpoles splashing around in a creek, not by sitting in a desk drawing a picture labeling all the parts of the life cycle of a frog. And yet we wonder then why our kids kind of don’t get the ideas that we already knew.
I grew up spending some time on my Grandmother’s place and she had cows. I recently – and I live in a metropolitan area – and I did this little experiment with my own children. We were pushing this cart apparatus through a pasture. And my kids were petrified.
“Oh, there’s the cows, what are we gonna do?” “
We’re going to keep walking, the cows will get out of the way.”
“But what if they come at us?”
“Honey, cows don’t do that.” “
But, Mom! What if this cow won’t move!?”
I said “If a cow doesn’t move you hit it on the behind and then it will move. “
“You actually touch it!?” You do!
And so, I was a little mortified that I had skipped that part of experience for my children, that what I knew as a 5 year old in the pasture, my 15 year old football defensive lineman was afraid of this cow. “
Well, it may be a bull mom!” “
Honey, I’m promising you that’s not a bull.”
It was actually a funny thing. So I robbed them a little bit of having that experience. And believe me, they understood about cows before I let them out o that pasture.
But we rob our children of experience.
We do have to be careful certainly I am not happy to see a baby with marbles in his mouth. That’s not safe. But a baby who has dumped out all the Tupperware in my cabinet and is chewing on al the lids, well, they’re gonna figure out. They’re learning, they’re experiencing. And it’s not a lot of fun to have to clean up all the dirt from the plant that has been dumped over, and derooted. And they now know more about the plant than I wish my carpet knew, but you just vacuum it up and move on.
We joke in our house that no boy is considered a real boy unless he’s broken a window.
C: Well in my house it’s my daughter that’s the real boy because she’s broken a window! She throws like a girl, for sure.
D: I love a girl who can bust a window! Every boy in our house can now replace windows. We can’t rob them of those experiences. Things do happen. Accidents do happen but they are so very rare and uncommon.
Unfortunately, by trying to protect them what we are really doing is shackling them. By not letting them experiment, by not letting them move around on the floor.
It is a statistical reality that if you keep a baby on their back and never let them move until they walk, you have about a 5 time increased risk of them needing Ritalin, according to the mainstream world. It is a prescription for learning disabilities.
C: Let me ask you this question Donna. Is there anything that can be done with a child who never crawled? That’s the way that it was with my oldest. He’s ten years old and certainly not struggling with reading, he’s an avid reader, bookworm, and he reads better than a lot of high school students I know, but he never crawled. That’s always concerned me a little bit. I would try to give him tummy time and he just hated it! He would just scream his head off. It always concerned me that he pretty much immediately went to walking. He went to holding on to furniture and scooting around. Is there anything I can look for? If you believe that you have a healthy child what are some things you can look for that might be areas of concern?
D: Is there anything you can do for kiddos who didn’t crawl? Absolutely. You can go back to the future.
We can get them right back down and get them creeping and crawling all over again.
My children are doing it, and you have to get creative and make it fun. And it doesn’t need to be a negative thing, it can be lots of fun. My kids enjoy it. I read novels to them while they’re going around in a loop. They know how many “laps” they need to get done, and we do that, because we need it.
Things to look for: as soon as you said he’s a great reader that’s awesome, that’s fantastic. I have a quote on my Facebook page from my 24 year old son, I was in a bookstore with him and he said “What are you looking for?” I said “I’m looking for a children’s book”. He said “That’s ridiculous mom, that’s too broad a category”. I said “No, I’m looking for a children’s book”. And he said, “Mom, every book is a children’s book if the kid can read.”
C: That’s true.
D: I thought, wow – I hadn’t though of the broad concept of every book. So that’s great, but I wonder what his depth perception is like.
How is his running? Running is a beautiful thing. I think one of the reasons we like to watch
the Olympics so much is those runners who can really run well, it’s just beautiful. It’s so graceful and smooth. Not everyone looks like Michael Johnson, because he obviously gets it. But the form should be the same.
It should be smooth, graceful, their arms should be up and pumping in a cross pattern, and their posture should be nice. We shouldn’t be hunched over, have our heads down. Some children who don’t get the crawling – when they’re running I see their arms drop down or flail out to the sides, and their running might not be super coordinated.
photo credit: icultist
Their depth perception can be certainly an issue. They don’t just go ripping up and down a brand new set of stairs, they might be a little more cautious. Where depth perception is really told is if you try to hit a baseball. When you’re up at bat you strike out a lot – I question how well your two eyes work together. Because both eyes, the triangulation of vision – both eyes bring a picture into the brain and overlap it perfectly, so that they have the picture with some depth. Unless they’re not working together perfectly and then that image is a little bit distorted so that hitting – for a ten year old hitting a 70 mile an hour fast ball coming at him – should be something he can do. If we’re struggling with that, let’s look at perhaps why.
Some issues with depth perception and coordination would be a real question for me for a child that didn’t creep and crawl.
Another question would be, how are they with sound? Are they comfortable in noisy environments?
C: That’s interesting. He seems to enjoy being the noisy person but has no tolerance for other people’s noise.
D: Right. Well, that is something I do see a lot of. Of course they’re comfortable with sound, they’re the loudest person in the house! But your own sound is like white noise.
In fact some children who are really loud are creating all that noise because they can’t deal with the other noise.
C: Ah.
D: When they’re not comfortable with sound, when they don’t locate sound well – and this is a skill that a lot of parents are not aware that is so important. By the time a child is 8 months old, they should be able to locate a sound just by the sound without visually seeing the sound. So that – in fact it’s a kind of a funny thing that happens. You’re sitting there nursing the baby and Dad comes home from work. And he comes through the front door, baby hears that front door and they instantly turn that head – to see Dad coming in. Unfortunately they don’t let go of the breast!
C: Or they do and you spray everywhere!
D: I go for spray rather than blood! But they instantly hear that sound and turn that head and they know exactly where it’s coming from. That’s really important for a lot of reasons. We rely on the location of sound a great deal for the meaning of that sound. I see people – there will be some sound – and they’ll say, what’s that sound? Where is that? Where is that? And when they say what’s that sound, they’re looking all around. They’re not just sitting there trying to figure out… well, it might sound like this or that. No, they’re looking.
C: They’re trying to figure out where it is, not just what it is.
D: Because once they see where it is, sometimes you can’t even see the sound. Like when somebody’s cell phone is going out of battery and stuck under the sofa cushion? What is that beeping? And you look around and you see where the beeping is coming from and you realize it’s under the sofa cushion and you know oh it’s got to be a cell phone. You didn’t see it but you know by where it’s located that it’s gotta be the cell phone because the remote doesn’t beep like that. So we rely on the location of sound a great deal for what that sound means.
Children who can’t locate sound well misinterpret information a lot.
C: What does that look like, misinterpreting information?
D: Children who appear to be defiant. Some children will be really honest about it and they will just be confused. Children who struggle academically a great deal. A great deal of children who struggle academically can’t locate sound.
Sometimes I come home after I do a number of evaluations I have my children locate sounds for me so that I know there is a child alive who can locate sound. Because I see it so commonly in 100% of the children I’ve evaluated, there are issues with locating sound.
C: How does a parent know that’s what’s happening?
D: You can play a little game with them. Slip a little blindfold on or ask them to close their yes or cover their face and you have a bunch of different sounds. You make the sounds from over, under, beside, in front, behind, make sound all around and make a variety of sounds – high pitched, low pitched, and then say point to where that sound is coming from. And you want it precisely. You want one pointer finger goes out and they can touch it. You don’t want them waving their arm around saying, “Well it’s somewhere over there”. That tells you that maybe we have the general idea but not exactly where it is. And you should know right exactly where something’s coming form. And you should know that by the time you’re 8 months old. So you can imagine in an 8 year old how confused they are when they don’t have that information to work with that an 8 month old should have. I evaluated one little boy who could not locate any sound in front of him. I’d be jingling a little bell or banging a block or making different noises in front of him and he would point over his head or behind him or down to the floor.
Can you imagine the struggle for that young man in a classroom?
C: Or when his parents ask him to do something…
D: His parents have quit asking. They don’t even call him anymore, they go get him. They can’t holler from the kitchen into the family room and say, “Little Billy, c’mere!” Because little Billy has no idea where you are. And he’s ten! This little boy – he’s going to be 11 soon. And it makes everybody so impatient with little Billy so he’s getting all these negative messages all the time. “Why don’t you just come here?! How comes I can’t ever ask you to do anything? You know I can ask a 3 year old to do this and you can’t do it!”
A this negativity towards little Billy when he just can’t locate sound. And we can set up a program for him where his brain could learn to do that. There’s a very well known – there are lots of auditory programs and some of them are highly successful and I do sometimes use those kind of technological programs eventually, but our beginning programs with locating sound, laying the foundation for being able to do that, those are all simple things that can be done right in the home with objects from around the house. It is not expensive. Unfortunately some of the technological programs cost – I know one program that just one round, 8 – 12 weeks of it, costs over $3,000. Really effective but very expensive. We can lay a foundation for that with very little cost.
C: So if a parent is listening and they’re not located in Texas where you are, are you able to work with a parent – can they avail themselves of your services remotely?
D: Absolutely. I travel. I will be spending 12 days in California in San Jose and in Long Beach teaching and evaluating children there. Some parents like to put together a group of concerned parents. I know I had a group in the Colorado Springs area that called me up and said we had 5 families who want you to come. We’re going to pay – those families split my travel expenses and I came and spent over a week there and worked with those 5 families and then I came home. Then some families come into Dallas and that’s always an option also. It’s usually a lot less to fly me, one person, than to fly the family. And I like being able to go to people’s homes. One little girl that I saw – I was so glad that I went into her home because she really needed a program very very much and I was able to give her parents some things that she needed. But I said the number one most important program for your daughter is an honor and respect program for her two big brothers.
C: Ah, I think I need a little bit of that around here!
D: And we all do. We need a little honor and respect in my house very once in awhile. But they needed that. This family needed a little bit of re-centering. By them bringing me to their home I was able to see that. If I had some big clinical office that they just walked into, I would have never known that was the case. So because I was able to help sort of re-center this family in that way.
Because when you have a child with challenges, it can really warble off center the whole family. Then we start coping, we start kind of defaulting to convenience foods, to videos as baby sitters, to letting children argue with us, letting children do things that we shouldn’t do because we’ve got this extra challenge here we don’t think we can really deal with all of it. When in reality if we can reorganize the whole family then we can all deal with the challenge together. And that’s something that’s really important to me. I don’t usually write a program for a child, I write a program for a family. I’m there to strengthen the family and help them pull together and work together. When I write a program for one child in a family to creep and crawl, I recommend that we all join in the parade. What, our brains are gonna be too organized? I don’t think so. It’s good for the whole family to work together.
So families can bring me out, I like to visit their homes and see the flow. You get to know a friend, the first time you go to their home you know so much more abut them then you ever knew just chatting together at the library. So I like to do that, and families have that option or they have the option of coming to Dallas too. However it works best for them, I want to be flexible to work with them.
C: That’s awesome to hear – that you’d be wiling to travel. Let’s end on this last question.
Tell us some things, some simple things, that parents can do every day to help their child’s brain development.
D: Number one: Nutrition.
That is a whale of a topic that we can spend days talking about. But number on, nutrition. Get rid of the junk food. If you can buy it in a drive through, please don’t eat it. And if you won’t eat it, please don’t feed it to your child. Some basic nutrition: please eat as close to nature as you can. An apple is better for you than apple sauce.
C: Or an apple is better than apple juice.
D: Oh apple juice is not necessary. Your child needs to drink water water water water water. Please – a good rule of thumb is take their body weight in pounds and have them drink half that number in ounces. So if they weighed 50 pounds they would drink 25 ounces. Every day, of water and they would eat vegetables and protein and fruit and wholesome food. There are specific diets for specific children, but that one would be just a common sense – eat like Grandma tried to teach you to eat please.
Number two, the floor as a way of life.
Young children should be on the floor. They should be running, creeping and crawling all around – the floor as a way of life. Once they become vertical they’re up on their feet, walking and running and then a little more walking and then maybe some running – just mobility times ten. Another thing is that we do live in the United States and we do watch movies and we do watch DVDs and my children and I watch movies together and I’m not opposed 100% to television. But an interesting thing you can do with your children is set your DVD player to a foreign language.
C: That’s fun, I’ve done that.
D: If you want to see something hysterical, watch Toy Story in French. It is the funniest thing in the world, Buzz Lightyear trying to be all tough guy in French. If you expose your children to foreign language, you will literally grow a bigger brain for them in a significant way. Children all over the world are speaking multiple languages, we in the US are lazy about that.
So that’s a simple thing. They learn English – by hearing us talk. So, if they only watched Winnie the Pooh in Spanish, guess what? They’re going to get a whole lot of Spanish. And they’re going to set those tones and phomenes that are unique to Spanish in an early and easier way. So set that DVD player to Spanish, and then get a little bit of better use out of it.
Those would be to me, the best things that I would recommend. I would pay super close attention and trust your instincts if you know something’s wrong, don’t let somebody tell you that it’s not wrong. Every mother I talked to said “Oh I knew something was wrong way back when but I couldn’t get anybody to pay attention.” It happened to me with my youngest child and I’ve seen it happen. “Well if you really feel that way, wait and see.” What for what? Vesuvius to go off? Trust your instincts about that and don’t feel – when I tell parents all those things to do, just kind of the way mothers were back in Mayberry you know?
C: Go outside and come in at dinner.
D: They say I feel so mean when I do that. Please don’t feel mean.
C: Going outside is not a punishment.
D: No. And eating a peach instead of an ice cream bar is not a punishment. Those are good things. So don’t let the social pressure make you feel like the mean mom. Realize that you can be proactive and just because what your model is for your family doesn’t match up with 99% of our society doesn’t mean you’re wrong. A great quote is “Baloney repeated a million times is still baloney.”
It is good to be a little more proactive. And I think honesty Carrie, I think that things are shifting back that way. I think people are getting – are starting to see, you know what? We got off track. And so I hope that a lot of mothers will start kind of just looking at how they’re doing things and saying, you know that doesn’t make sense with 
how people really are. How are people really?
Babies ought to be moving all around. Babies have been eating dirt for centuries. Maybe that speck is not going to kill them.
So those are the things I recommend. And really just wholesome things, and from reading your website it sounds like a lot of those things go on at your house.
photo credit: subewl
C: Well Donna thank you so much for joining us and I encourage our listeners to go to your site. And browse your articles and see what you have to offer. If they have a child that they feel is having some difficulties, and even if they don’t.
D: If they feel like they just want to make sure they’re staying on track. Hard to know if you’re staying on track if you don’t know where the track is. I never charge anybody for a phone call.
I’m always happy to talk with folks. The kinds of mothers who call me are the best people on the planet earth and why would I turn away a chance to talk with someone like that? Well thank you so much! I’ve now signed up on your blog and I enjoy following your crew as they go along. It’s a fun adventure to watch. It’s fun when you can appreciate the wonder of good development.
C: Thank you again Donna.
Take a Child Outside Week
September 22, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Did you know that September 24-30 is Take a Child Outside Week?
According to the website, the program is an initiative of the North Carolina Museum of Natural Science and is designed to:
“…help break down obstacles that keep children from discovering the natural world. By arming parents, teachers and other caregivers with resources on outdoor activities, our goal is to help children across the country develop a better understanding and appreciation of the environment in which they live, and a burgeoning enthusiasm for its exploration.”
The site has some neat goodies, including a map with listings of local nature outings you can participate in with other parents.
Of course, you don’t have to plan a fancy outing to get the kids outside enjoying nature. Just go outside for a walk.
My girls love to make mud pies at the end of the road or swing in their tree swing. My oldest goes outside by himself to daydream and play, shoot arrows or whatever, and the 7 year old to play horseshoes, ride his bike or hang out with his big brother.
It does us grown ups good to get outside too. When we’re exposed to natural lighting we’re more energetic, less prone to depression, and have healthier sleep/wake cycles. We’re meant to spent lots of time outside. When we don’t, we experience more stress and fatigue.
Some of the barriers to outside play are things like easy and unlimited access to screens. TV, video games, computer games, all of these take up a lot of time.
Read more about nature deficit disorder:
Does your child have nature deficit disorder?
How to prevent nature deficit disorder
Will Take a Child Outside Week motivate you to spend more time outside with the kids? Or do you already do this? Share your thoughts below.
This Just In: Raw Food Recipes for Kids
September 17, 2008 | 1 Comment
Fellow natural mama Tiffany Washko has just released her raw foods recipe book for kids!
I just finished reading through the book and it’s wonderful. I can hardly wait to dig in to the recipes (I even submitted a few that appear in the book).
This “un” cookbook will be very helpful for me especially since my youngest child is allergic to wheat. The raw pie crust is gluten free and I can hardly wait to try it along with a pie recipe.
Of course, you don’t have to commit to a 100% raw diet in order to benefit. We ALL want to eat a percentage of our foods raw in order to have a healthy diet. In the summertime, eating more raw is cooler and saves money too.
Not only does the book have 80 raw foods recipes that are kid friendly, it also has tips and resources for further information, and helpful products that will make eating more raw foods more convenient.
Tiffany is a raw foods enthusiast and well known blogger for natural families.
Go check out Recipes for Raw Kids
Natural Moms Podcast #98
September 15, 2008 | 3 Comments
My guest this week is Dr. Michael Magwood.
Dr. Magwood is a Chiropractor, and he is talking about the benefits of chiropractic care during pregnancy, and for babies and children. Did you know that your baby can get a check up from a chiropractor in the moments after birth?
Dr. Magwood is also sharing the key stages of development where pediatric chiropractic check-ups are most important.
Zevia – Sugar Free Soda Sweetened with Stevia
September 14, 2008 | 12 Comments
After seeing my post about the Stevia Cookbook, the folks from Zevia contacted me and sent a huge box of Zevia
And I’m telling you what I thought of it.
Zevia comes in 4 flavors and they sent a six pack of each flavor. There was Cola, Orange
The ingredients are pretty simple and listed on the website, with an explanation for each, which is pretty cool.
The Twist and Orange flavors are caffeine free, and the other two have a small bit of caffeine.
Zevia has zero calories, is zero on the glycemic index, and has all natural flavors and colors. No sugar, high fructose corn syrup or nasty fake sugars. It’s sweetened with stevia!
I tried all 4 of the flavors and my favorite was Orange. To be blunt, I didn’t care for the others too much, because they tasted a bit like diet soda. I’ve always hated diet soda and never drank it, although I hear the pleasantly bitter flavor grows on you.
I never wanted to get hooked on diet sodas because I think they’re dangerous.
If you like diet soda, you’ll love Zevia.
Drinking it would be an awesome way to wean yourself from diet soda. Stevia is so superior to those nasty artificial sweeteners!
My kids dove into these immediately. They aren’t allowed to have sodas except for a small serving of root beer, once a week on Taco Night, so they were excited to have unlimited access to soda pop! The kids, unlike me, LOVED THE STUFF.
They drank up all 24 of these cans in a matter of days. LOL!
If you want to give Zevia
I have a coupon for $5 off a case. It is a coupon code that you can use to order online from the Zevia website or 800 number.
To win, just leave a comment and one person will be randomly chosen (I’ll email you the coupon code)
Update 3/14/09 – OFFER EXPIRED.
Preparing Your Older Child for the New Baby
September 14, 2008 | 2 Comments
I remember hearing horror stories about older kids and their jealousy towards the new baby in the house. One friend of mine even said her daughter tried to suffocate her baby with a pillow! 
photo credit: Phil Scoville
I can’t imagine how that must have felt. It was also totally foreign to me because I didn’t have any trouble at all with my toddlers trying to hurt their new sibling. I never even saw any signs of rivalry or upset at all.
I think it’s because of some of the things I did during the pregnancy and in the first few hours, days and weeks after I gave birth.
Here are some of those things. I hope they help you if you’re about to go through this!
Sell them on “big brother” or “big sister”.
Speak in positive terms to them about what it means to be a big sis or big brother. Really play up the importance of their role and help them to feel special and needed. You will want to discuss how they can be your helper and how much you need them because after the birth you will be sore and tired.
You may want to assign them a specific task, something age appropriate. For a younger child, fetching diapers for you might be a good one. With my babies, I invited the older toddler to come and join us during diaper changes to involve them. We would chat and I would let them help any way they could, and it was a pleasant time. Help your child to appreciate how much you need their help.
Don’t plan any other major changes.
This would not be a good time to introduce any other major changes into their life, such as potty training, different sleeping arrangements or any other similar changes. You don’t want to overwhelm them nor add any added stress to their lives or yours.
If your toddler is still nursing, there is no reason to stop during your pregnancy or even afterwards when the new baby arrives. Many moms have found that tandem nursing (breastfeeding siblings who are not twins) is very rewarding and a wonderful way to ease the transition for the older child.
When they are assured of your place in their lap, they are not as likely to be jealous or resent the new baby. I found this to be absolutely true with mine. My toddlers were all still nursing when their siblings were born, and it was wonderful to help them adjust. I shared my story in the link above.
Talk to them.
Children understand more than we think. So, spend some time talking with them about the big event. You can tell them about what will happen when you go to have the baby, where they will be staying, and what they can expect. If you are having the baby at home or in a birthing center, you might want to consider allowing them to be with you at the birth. Children who are close by the mother during her labor are more likely to view the new baby as “ours” instead of an alien intruder! Some parents have found it helpful to read books that talk about getting a new baby in the house. These often explain how new babies need constant care and feeding.
It’s also helpful to share the story of their own birth with your toddler. Young children seem to love to hear the story of their birth! Talk about how it was such a happy day for you because you finally got to meet them. Tell them details, and let them watch birth videos if you have them, and allow them to go through their baby books and pictures.
Involve them in the pregnancy.
Take your older child to prenatal appointments if you can. This helps them to start bonding with the unborn child. This is a lot easier if you’re getting care from a midwife, who will welcome your other children and allow them to listen to the heartbeat or play with the stethoscope and other equipment! My kids always had fun when we visited the midwife for our appointments.
photo credit: eyeliam
My oldest son even cut his two baby sister’s cords when they were born. I have pictures of him all decked out as Obi-Wan Kenobi, complete with light sabre, when his first sister was born. He was so protective of her and called her Padme for the first few months of her life. 
Get help.
Going from one to two (or two to three, and on and on!) is a wonderful time to ask friends, family, Grandparents and others for a little help. While you and the baby are resting, could someone play with your toddler, arrange a playdate or take them to the park for a couple of hours?
A little extra one on one time with a beloved adult can make up for the fact that you are going to be giving the toddler a little less attention for awhile. This is a time for Dad to step up too. While he does need time to bond with the newborn, this can be a time of growth in the older child as he embraces Dad as someone who can also meet his needs.
Watch your language.
When the baby arrives, be careful how you phrase things. If your older child asks you for something and you can’t help them because you’re caring for the baby, don’t “blame” it on the baby. Say something like, “My hands are busy now, but I can play with you in a few minutes. Why don’t you come snuggle next to me and I’ll read you a story?”
Another tip that some moms have found helpful is to talk up the older child to the baby. We moms love to go ga-ga and talk goo goo over our babies, but why not brag on the older sibling? “Ooh look at what big brother is doing! He’s building a block tower and it’s sooooo tall!” This can make the older child’s heart swell with pride. I heard this tip from a mom I admired, and when I did it, I could see the older child’s face practically beaming. Of course, the baby can’t understand a word you’re saying, but that doesn’t matter!
If your child does express some negative feelings towards the new baby, do not deflect it or try to change their feelings. It won’t work! It’s insulting and we know how WE feel when someone does that to us. Instead, mirror them by saying something empathic, like “It’s tough having to share mommy with the new baby sometimes.” You don’t have to agree with them, just empathize. When we do that, they feel safe sharing their feelings, and are able to process and work through them better. But if we can all bent out of shape they feel misunderstood and frustrated, which doesn’t help matters.
There’s one thing that some people who come to visit your new family may do that you need to watch for. This always made me cringe every time I observed it! They overreact every time the older children touch the baby.
Another thing to be careful of when it comes to visitors is this: Don’t let them focus 100% of their attention on the new baby. People do this too, and they don’t mean any harm. But imagine how it feels to the older child when everyone around him is completely besotted with “baby this and baby that”. They don’t even ask him questions except to say, “So how do you like the new baby?” LOL!
If your guests or family members do this, tactfully steer the conversation around.
Clueless Aunt: “So, little Johnny, how do you like the new baby so far?”
Little Johnny: “Um, he’s ok. I guess.”
You: “Auntie, did you see the picture Johnny painted? It’s over there on the refrigerator. Johnny, would you like to show Auntie your new picture? Maybe she can get your paints out and you can draw a new one for her to take home to Aunt Joe.”
You might want to even ask family members and friends to bring a small gift for your older child when they come visit the baby. If they’re not cool like that, stash some presents or treats of your own, and whip them out when baby has a gift to unwrap.
Babies just aren’t that fragile!
It’s more important that your older child bond with the baby, and much of that takes place through touch. Train and teach your older kids how to hold and touch the baby. With a toddler, you may have to guide his hands or tell him to touch “Soft, like a butterfly.”
Don’t freak out whenever the older kids come around the baby, or they’ll come to resent him. You don’t want them to feel like useless, clumsy clods around the “precious” baby. It’s very hurtful to them. There were so many times that my older kids jostled the new baby like s/he was a sack of potatoes, and the baby never even woke up most of the time, much less minded.
Babies like stimulation and they find their big sibs extremely exciting! I noticed that my babies would turn their heads and follow a sibling around the room with their eyes. I made a point of saying this out loud to my older kids. I also reminded them that the baby KNEW them already because of hearing them for so many months in the womb.
They were really impressed by that.
Another thing alone these lines is, allow your toddler or older child to see and spend time with you as soon as possible after the birth. Don’t let other family members, including your husband if he’s overzealous, prevent them from reconnecting with you. Especially if you’ve been away at a hospital birth is this true. Don’t make a big deal over the new baby. Let them hug and kiss YOU and then notice the baby (who ideally should not be in your arms for this little reunion).
Don’t feel guilty.
It’s very common for moms to feel guilty about displacing their older child. I know I certainly felt this way when I was pregnant with my second child. I grieved for what I felt was a loss, and I was worried about my older son – as if he was losing something instead of gaining!
Remember that children have been dealing with the arrival of siblings since the beginning of time! They will be just fine, and will gain a playmate and perhaps a lifelong friend. Be positive about the transition and your child will likely pick up on your emotions.
Practice babywearing.
A baby sling or carrier can be invaluable for several reasons. For one, you can have your hands free in a sling, meaning you can play with a toddler almost like baby’s not there, where s/he naps peacefully. You’ll always have a free arm to pour a glass of milk, get a snack, offer a hug, a boost onto the swings, or to hold a book to read a story. Kids don’t mind so much the arrival of a new sibling as they mind the demand on your time. If you can still do most of the stuff you did before, it’s all good. 
photo credit: PhylB
Be prepared for your own emotions.
Nature has set things up so that your priority is to your newborn infant, and that’s as it should be. A lot of times we are surprised by the ferocity of our own feelings of loyalty to our new babies. It’s not that we don’t love our toddlers, because we do.
But during the early weeks, don’t be surprised at your feelings. You might see your toddler differently and are a little afraid that you’ve fallen out of love with him!
Don’t worry! These feelings will subside, and you’ll soon be seeing your toddler through normal eyes. A little extra sleep helps too!
Some recommended resources:
This book helps young children to see the “expandable” quality of a mother’s love.
I loved reading this book to kids #2 and #3 before and after baby #4 came along. They loved it too.
Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too
A wonderful book to teach you all about empathic listening and dealing with kid’s strong emotions.
Adventures in Tandem Nursing: Breastfeeding During Pregnancy and Beyond
A must read for a mom who is nursing while pregnant and wants to know “what to expect” afterwards.
This was my favorite all time sling. The unstitched style of the tail and no padding make it great for getting a truly hands free hold.
What was your experience with helping your older child make the adjustment to a new baby?
Challenges of Being a New Mom
September 13, 2008 | 8 Comments
During our pregnancies, especially with our first baby, many of us spent a lot of time imagining what motherhood would be like.
We saw peaceful scenes in our mind like rocking our babies in a recliner while they effortlessly breastfeed.
We imagine the things we’ll do while baby sleeps the hours away. We wash and fold (and refold) baby clothes and get the baby’s things ready. We daydream about our little one and how we’ll care for him.
Often, we’re quite unprepared for the reality of the experience of new motherhood.
While having children is a blessing, the postpartum period is one of huge adjustments. In fact, there probably is no other experience that is more life altering than the entry into parenthood!
Our expectations are often quite different from the reality. Many new moms experience some or many of the following challenges:
Fussy babies – Having a colicky or fussy, “high need” infant can shatter a new mom’s confidence and cause major stress. When your baby cries for hours at a time, it can put strain on your relationship with the baby’s father and undermine your emotional well being.
Often there is little that can be done for a fussy baby other than holding him and waiting for him to outgrow it.Some babies will feel better if they nurse all the time – this was certainly true of my oldest. A baby sling can be a lifesaver for fussy babies. Research shows that babies cry less when they are “worn” close to the mothers body.
Mood swings – The baby blues is a very common experience for new moms in our society, and there are many theories as to why so many moms experience this phenomenon.Contributing factors may be: the stress of such a massive life change, sleep deprivation, the physical demands of childbirth, lack of proper support, and hormonal adjustments.
After I had my first baby, I would have persistent thoughts of tripping near an open window and throwing him out. It was a little scary, but the feelings subsided, especially when I got some more sleep.
Certainly it is wise for a new mom to lower her expectations of herself. Getting out of the house for some socializing, exercise, and sunlight can be a huge help. Good nutrition and avoiding sugar and caffeine are also smart moves. Read more about breastfeeding and postpartum depression here.
Relationship difficulties – Some new moms become resentful of their partners. While a mom’s life changes drastically after the birth of a new baby, a dad’s life doesn’t change so much. His apparent freedom can be the cause of negative feelings. If you read the magazines at the checkout counter, Angelina Jolie seems to be suffering from a little of this.
Good communication skills are important here. Moms can tell their partners what they need, and affirm his place and importance in the family. Letting him care for the baby on his own to learn his own style is a good idea.
Bonding issues – When moms read about the bonding that is so essential for baby’s development, they’re sometimes stressed or worried if they don’t feel an instant connection with their new infants
. Bonding is different for each mother/baby dyad.
Some moms experience an instant feeling of deep love for their newborn infants the moment baby is put into their arms. For others, the feeling develops over time. There is no right or wrong way to bond.
One thing that helps a mother develop a deep attachment to her baby is to wear him close to her body in a baby sling. Babywearing helps baby adjust to postpartum life gradually, leading to less crying. A happier baby means a happier mom. It’s also easier for mom to get things done around the house, increasing her sense of accomplishment.
photo credit: Ja-nelle
Breastfeeding challenges - Breastfeeding can be a wonderful experience, and for some mothers it comes easily. Others experience difficulties.I will never forget when my big sister asked me if I planned on breastfeeding. I told her, “Of course!”. She said that after the first few weeks things would get easier, and that it could be a little tough right at first. She said this while latching on her own 6 month old at the breast. I was so ignorant – I remembered thinking, “What’s the big deal? You put the baby on your nipple and they drink!“
Painful breastfeeding can increase the risk of postpartum depression, but successful breastfeeding decreases the risk. A mom who is experiencing pain should get help immediately. Often all that is needed is a slight adjustment in positioning or latch to stop the pain.
New moms need support and information to have a happier postpartum adjustment. Talking with other mothers can be extremely helpful. Thankfully there are many mother’s groups that a new mom can reach out to in order to get the community she needs. Groups like La Leche League, Holistic Moms Network, Attachment Parenting International, and others.
What about you? How was your experience of being a new mom different from the reality? How did you cope with the transition?
Recommended Resources for New Moms:
* The Hidden Feelings of Motherhood
This is an amazing book that every mother should read. Written by one of my favorite authors, Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, PhD. It examines the feelings commonly felt by new moms in our culture and how to help yourself during the transition.
This was my favorite cookbook after my 4th child was born. Everything in its pages can be created with only one hand! Written by attachment parenting enthusiasts and foodie moms, this cookbook will make it possible for you to feed yourself again. I promise!
* 25 Things Every New Mother Should Know
Martha and Bill Sears have 8 kids between them. He’s a Pediatrician, she a nurse and La Leche League Leader. Think they know some secrets about surviving postpartum? Oh yeah. This one is easy to read in snippets while you’re sitting in the nursing chair.
And finally:
* Porn for New Moms: From the Cambridge Women’s Pornography Cooperative
Save the hate mail ladies. Wait until you check it out. Because laughter is a great cure for the new mom blues!
