How Did You Know?
September 24, 2009 | 7 Comments
Last Saturday night I was at a show with some friends, listening to a local band, 3 of whose members are friends of mine.
A girlfriend of mine came up to me and said (actually more accurate to say she screamed – you know how it is when you’re listening to live music!) in my ear:
“How did you know?”
I knew immediately what she meant.
This was the first time she had met my new husband. Seeing us all over each other, having a great time together, enjoying old friends but quite happy to just be in each other’s company, spurred the question.
My friend is single, never-been-married, and quite a bit younger than me, so I felt compelled to tell her something deep and profound. But what came out of my mouth was actually quite simple.
So I screamed back into her ear:
“He makes me feel safe. He takes care of me. He has since the day we met.”
I’ve felt loved before. But I’ve never felt this safe.
One of the first things he said to me, that became an often repeated phrase, was…
“I’ve got your back.”
At first I didn’t know exactly what he meant by that statement.
But as time passed, it became more clear.
I know I’m loved. I feel safe.
It showed up in little ways at first.
He once ran a quick errand to a convenience store using my car, and came back with a full tank of gas “because it would be late when I left“… and he didn’t want me pumping gas in the dark.
There had only been one other man who filled up my car with gas after using it for an errand… and that is my Daddy. 
I learned awhile ago to stop paying so much attention to what men SAY, and far more attention to what they DO.
Like when they drive an hour one way to come see you.
Every day for a month.
Of course, there were other things.
When I locked us out of the house when we were all hungry and on our way out to dinner, and instead of getting irritated, he just busted the door down with his shoulder and kept smiling.
When he told me he wanted to be a good father to my children.
When he brought me little presents and it was obvious he was paying attention to what I liked.
When I was stressed and sad and trying not to be emotional, and he pointed to his big strong shoulder and said,
“See that? You need to put your head right. there. and everything will be ok.”
… and you know that noone can ever hurt you again because they would have to go through him.
How do you know?
You know it when… he picks you up from a Green Day concert and instead of taking you home, drives you around for 4 hours because he can’t bear to part ways with you.
You know it when … he says he’ll take care of something that’s important to you… and he does.
You know when… you wake up with a sore throat, and he gets your kids ready for school, then brings you your laptop while making coffee and breakfast for you. And you also know it when you’re sick with a sniffle and he tells you to use his neti pot. (Must be love!)
You know it when… your favorite part of the day is that second when you lay your head on his shoulder and snuggle in to sleep, curled next to him.
You know it when… you’ve never felt anything like this before, and suddenly get what all the fuss is about.
You know it when… you miss him when he goes to work.
You know it when… he texts you a few minutes after leaving because he misses you too.
You know it when… you’ve only known each other for a short while and you cannot bear to go one day without seeing his face.
You know it when… you would follow him to the ends of the earth.
You know it when… he tells you he wants to move you closer to your parents (even though he knows the previous!).
You know it when… your insomnia disappears.
You know it when… you get scared and try to get rid of him, and he doesn’t go anywhere.
You know it when… you feel soooo lucky.
You know it when… he starts composing a song for you on the guitar that he cannot sing around your relatives. 
You know it when… he doesn’t bother to answer his phone or send texts or do Facebook, because he’s spending time with you.
You know it when… you make a list of the qualities in your ideal man, tuck it away and forget about it, only to find it a year later and he’s every. single. thing. on it!
You know it when… you’re always expecting him to be angry or hurtful or harsh, and he never is.
You know it when… after only having known you for a couple of months, he invites you to fly with him to another country to meet his father.
You know it when… his plans for proposing to you have to be moved up several months because he just can’t wait that long to make you his wife.
You know it when… you want to have babies right away so that just in case he got killed in a car accident, you would have his son to comfort you.
… that’s how.
P.S. And to my young friend who will unfortunately probably have to make her way through a few more before finding “the one”, I want to say this:
Look for a guy who is that special brand of manliness.
A guy who takes care of himself but who isn’t vain. Who cares for you and makes you feel safe without being controlling. Who commands, not demands, respect. Who is steady and sure and who cannot be manipulated. Who doesn’t get upset or angry without just cause, and not at you. Who is loving without being wimpy. Who is gentle and patient with children, but also firm when necessary. Who isn’t ashamed to touch you in public, but who is proud to have you on his arm. Who doesn’t make you feel like you’re falling on your face all the time. A guy who is a leader, not a dictator. A guy who loves you because you’re intelligent and doesn’t treat you like a child. A guy who knows when something is on your mind, and who actually wants to listen to you express yourself.
A guy who has the guts to pursue you and who isn’t afraid to let you know what he wants.
Because when you find that, you’ll know.
9 Ways To Save Water In Your Bathroom
September 23, 2009 | 2 Comments
Why should we be concerned about saving water?
According to experts, the global demand for water has tripled over the last 50 years. Population increase is part of this, and some of it is due to the demands industry makes. It takes a lot of water to make everything else that is produced and sold.
This fact, coupled with the fact that water tables are falling, means the hard truth is we’re in danger of eventually running dangerously low on fresh water.
There are simple ways for each of us to conserve the water we use and to be conscious of how much we use. Not only does this help the overall problem but it also saves a few dollars on the water bill each month.
These little things can make a big difference.
Here are nine ways you can save water in your bathroom.
1. Install an aerator. Aerators are small ridiculously inexpensive devices that you can install in your faucets and showerheads yourself. They restrict the flow of water but not the water pressure, so you use half the water you normally would. Most showerheads, for example, use 5-10 gallons per minute while a low flow showerhead or one with an aerator will drop that number down to 2/5 gallons per minute. That’s a significant savings!
2. Place a timer in the shower. This is great for children and adults who can seem to get lost daydreaming in the shower. Place a timer in the shower to make everyone more aware of their water consumption. You can purchase shower timers with suction cups on the back so they stick right on the shower wall and let you know when your five or ten minutes are almost up.
3. Mark your shower faucets. Many people need to wait for the shower water to heat up but every minute the shower is running is water down the drain, 5-10 gallons of water down the drain. One way to stop this waste is to set the faucets to the perfect shower temperature, then mark them with red fingernail polish. This way you won’t waste water fiddling with them in an attempt to reach that perfect temperature.
4. Don’t run water needlessly. It should go without saying, but leaving the water faucet running while you’re brushing your teeth and washing your face is wasteful. Turn the water off when you’re not using it. Teach your kids the little Sesame Street song about “never letting the water run” as a reminder.
“Brushing my teeth and having so much fun, but I never let the water run. No, no, no. I never let the water run.”
5. Invest in high efficiency toilets. If you’re in the market for a new toilet, consider one of those wonderful high efficiency toilets. There are many variations available. Some are low flow toilets, which save an average of 25 gallons of water each day. There are also gravity toilets, pressure assist toilets, and those handy toilets that let you decide what type of flush you need, ahem…#1 or #2. At any rate, low flow, efficiency toilets, are a great way to save water in your bathroom.
6. Maintain faucets and plumbing. Keep plumbing from leaking with good maintenance. Faucets, toilets and even showerheads are not made of kryptonite; they break down and their components break down. Those little dents, cracks, and misaligned seals cause leaks and you’d be surprised how much water you can waste in a day with a leaky faucet or toilet. One faucet dripping twice a minute in your home adds up to 69 gallons of wasted water each day.
7. If purchasing a new toilet isn’t in your future, consider placing weights in the tank of your toilet. You can make home-made weights with an inch of sand in a plastic water bottle filled with water, or you can purchase float boosters. This method is said to save more than ten gallons of water each day.
8. Use a bucket. It’s easy enough to place a bucket in the shower with you. Use it for watering plants, dump it in the toilet for your next flush, or in the washing machine when you do your next load.
And here’s one last tip:
9. Bathe together. While I’ve never heard anyone say “the family that bathes together stays together”, why not try it? Babies, toddlers and youngsters who are still ok with it can bathe with mom or dad. Preschoolers can bathe together. It’s usually fine until the child is around 6 or 7 and expresses a need for privacy. And as for husbands and wives… well, why not conserve water and enjoy a built in backscrubber?
WW: Cast On, Cast Off
September 23, 2009 | 1 Comment
… and three weeks later….
So Much To Say
September 22, 2009 | 5 Comments
“So much to say, so much to say, so much to say...”
- “So Much To Say”
Dave Matthews band
The funny thing about blogging?
The busier (and therefore more blogworthy) your life, the less you’re able to blog.
I haven’t had time to login, write and click the Publish button in far too long.
Just so much going on.
photo credit: arteunporro
I’m a happy newlywed.
A month ago I married my soul mate, my best friend…. the man who is better than anyone I could have dreamed up. I’ve never felt like this. I’ve never wanted anyone so much, never been so attracted to someone, body and soul. I’ve never loved anyone like this. (Is it ok to love someone this much?)
So much transition.
I’m also helping to blend two families. When two single, custodial parents get together, there is a lot of adjusting to do.
I’m now a mother of 5 children.
So much juggling, balancing and meeting of needs.
My biological children have needs. My stepdaughter has needs. And my husband and I have needs. Even our ex spouses and extended families have needs that we have to deal with.
I have more work to do.
My workload has increased. I have more laundry, more housework, fewer people around that I trust to help me with my children.
I have more communication, more listening to feelings, more discipline, more loving to do.
I now live an hour away from my friends, my family…
Everything is new.
New house, new school, new neighborhood, new people to worship with.
All this change is exhausting.
I have so much to say.
I have questions.
(Like for instance, if your stepdaughter loves to have Pringles in her lunchbox, but your kids aren’t allowed to eat food like that, what do you do? And where do you go to ask these kinds of questions?)
I have worries.
(How do I handle it if my husband’s ex-wife misunderstands a situation and accuses me of neglect? If my kids know how to fix their own snacks, do I expect my stepdaughter to do so also, even if this is a new experience for her? Are my biological kids ok? Is my stepdaughter ok? Everyone seems ok, is everyone ok? Will I be ok?)
I have fears.
(If I do something he doesn’t like, will my sweet, kind, patient, wonderful new husband be cruel or hurtful to me? (He won’t… but when will I stop expecting to be treated harshly?) When will his house stop being “his house” and feel like home? And is it ok to be this happy?)
I have so much to say that I don’t know where to start.
Tips on How to Harvest Rainwater
September 21, 2009 | 1 Comment
For almost a decade (really, as long as I can remember) there were water restrictions here in my home state of Georgia. But in the last year, we’ve had so much rainfall that the bans have been lifted.
Still, if you’ve ever lived through a drought or live in a drought-prone area then you know the wistful feeling of watching it rain and wishing there were some way you could harvest rainwater to help tend to your lawn and garden. The good news is there are ways for you to easily harvest rainwater. Here are a couple of tips:
Rain Barrels
The good old-fashioned rain barrel is perhaps the easiest and most affordable option. You can make rain barrels yourself from waterproof containers you have lying around the home or you can purchase them online or in your local home or garden store.
While placing a bucket out in the rain is one option, the best way to capture the most rainwater is to position your barrel under your rain gutter downspout.
Ensure that the downspout flows directly into the barrel. That way you’re collecting all of the rain that hits the roof of your home, which is a much larger surface area than a bucket collecting water in the yard.
Tap your rain barrel with two flows.
One flow will be there to release overflow in the event it rains so hard that your barrel fills up. The other flow can be used to utilize the water. You can attach a hose to it and direct water into your garden, or simply have a faucet you can turn off and on to fill your watering can as needed. You can purchase these simple faucets and overflow attachments at your local hardware or home store.
Protect your rain gutters.
Placing covers over your rain gutters prevents the debris on your roof from entering your rain barrel. This debris can rot and contaminate the water. And it can clog the outputs in your rain barrel, making using the water extremely difficult. Rain gutter guards and shields can be purchased at your local hardware or home store and range in price from a few dollars to a high-priced and comprehensive gutter system.
Pay close attention to how your rain gutters are set up.
If you have more than one downspout, you may want to position a rain barrel under each downspout to harvest as much rainwater as possible.
Finally, make sure you’re allowed to harvest rainwater. It may sound silly but in some areas with water rights restrictions, you’re not allowed to harvest rainwater and can be fined.
Harvesting rainwater is an excellent way to maximize the available water. It saves on your personal water bill because while the water isn’t safe for human consumption, it’s great for watering a lawn or garden.
Natural Moms Podcast #128
September 14, 2009 | 33 Comments
Our guest this week is John Roulac, the CEO & Founder of Nutiva, who since 1999 has operated as a values-driven company dedicated to nourishing people and planet.
We’re talking today about the wonders of coconut oil, its many benefits and uses.
John has offered to giveaway a jar of coconut oil to a listener!
Please leave a comment below to qualify.
Tell us your favorite way to use coconut oil.
A winner will be chosen on Friday, September 18th at noon Eastern time.
You can also buy Nutiva products online.
He Is a Natural Daddy
September 7, 2009 | 4 Comments
I was concerned about getting remarried.
I was concerned about finding a man worthy of a 5 member fan club (because I wouldn’t be with anyone that my children didn’t adore).
I was concerned about (God forbid!) attracting someone who could harm my children.
I had no idea I would be fortunate enough to meet someone whose beliefs, goals and ideals about parenting were so closely aligned with my own.
I was initially intrigued when I found out that my then acquaintance/friend now husband was the custodial parent of a 9 year old daughter who, from all signs seemed to be extremely happy and well adjusted.
How rare is it that a father has full time care of his child?
One huge point for Z.
Not only did he have custody but it was obvious that this was a parent who actually enjoyed the company of his child. They spent a lot of time together and everyone who knew him said, “He’s a devoted, doting, amazing Dad.”
Score!
… he even turned down an opportunity to spend time with me… to go on a date he had planned with his daughter.
Secondly, I discovered that Z’s daughter Z was not vaccinated.
Wow.
I’ve only known a handful of parents (offline) who made the decision not to vaccinate their child(ren).
There are so many more examples of this. Our stand on spanking and harsh discipline, health care, even the way he talks to the children… were so impressive to me and matched my own beliefs so closely.
I’m extremely fortunate.
photo credit: _joshuaBENTLEY
When you’re a mother, nothing in the world is sexier than a good Dad.
A good father uses his manly qualities to teach children about benevolent authority, about respect, and he teaches them real world skills.
He also teaches things like how to play a mean game of Polish poker.
He is a Natural Daddy.
He is a huge advocate of breastfeeding. He thinks it’s ridiculous how people get offended by breastfeeding in public. He is a peaceful parent. I’ve never seen him come anything close to being irritated or losing his temper, even in a busy household of 7.
When Little Z is sick, she gets herbal remedies and homeopathics.
He is gentle.
He is patient.
He is kind.
He is firm.
He is a wonderful man.
He is a wonderful Daddy.
There are so many other things I could mention here, and I will as they come to mind.
I’ve been a little busy.
Reading To Daddy Zeke
September 7, 2009 | 2 Comments
