A Little Sad

February 12, 2009

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I’m not often blue.

I’ve learned not to take low moods too seriously, for doing so makes them stick around longer.

But I’m feeling a teensy bit blue this morning and decided to blog about it. Then I’ll have a second cup of coffee and get on with my day. Good thing today is Bible study day. I’m sure I’ll uncover some gem in there that brings tears to my eyes.

Always happens.

(Like, when I was going through the nasty part of my divorce and EVERY. SINGLE. TIME I picked up my Bible I found scripture explaining how much God hates it when people defraud orphans and widows or otherwise mistreat them.)

So this is how it started.

My 6 year old breaks my heart with shocking regularity.

She steals from me.

And it really hurts.

And she can be very gluttonous and greedy, which I don’t understand.

You know those little boxes of heart shaped candies we got in our bling bags from Blissdom?

She snuck in there, took it and ate the whole thing without even asking.

She takes things.

Gum, candy, an entire box of Newman’s Oreos.

I don’t worry that she will grow up to be some shoplifting teen.

I know it’s likely just a phase.

But still.

I told her this morning,

“I feel so sad because it feels like you don’t love me. I would never steal from anyone, but especially not someone I loved. That really hurts.”

It’s probably pointless to take this personally. But I was totally saving those candies for a friend who I wanted to go see He’s Just Not That Into You with.

Then before breakfast, the downstairs neighbors from hell make their appearance.

I live in an old house that has been converted into a duplex.

When I looked at this place, I went downstairs and introduced myself to my would be neighbor, a sweet little old lady who looked like she cooked a mean Sunday dinner.

And then.

All her homeless, unemployed adult kids moved in. Including the alcoholic daughter who came INTO MY APARTMENT STONE COLD DRUNK and asked me for money.

I was so angry I shook. Right there in the middle of my living room with my babies and everything.

Then began the fighting (curiously around the time rent comes due), the swearing, the getting hit on by drunk homeless unemployed sons, the smoking nasty stinky cigarettes that waft up into my bedroom, the playing earsplittingly loud humpin’ music at 2, 3, and even 4 AM.

I called the police one time.

Then I told the property management people, who said thanks for telling us, we’ve had to evict those losers before and didn’t know they were back.

This was a few weeks ago.

Things calmed down a bit.

Then this morning the same woman who stumbled into my home (with my babies, did I mention that?) drunk off her keyster bangs on my door.

I don’t open.

She shouts about not being able to get any sleep.

Apparently, my kids have some NERVE making noise at 8 am!

?????

I don’t like living on top of people who hate me.

I am so moving when my lease is up in May.

Also, this weekend at Blissdom I found out that someone I thought was a (male) friend turned out to be a psycho, borderline personality disorder jerk. Meaning my lunatic radar is still broke. Meaning that I have no business even thinking about dating for a long time.

And that feels like a loss on several levels.

How’s your day going?

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Comments

8 Responses to “A Little Sad”

  1. Lisa Wood on February 12th, 2009 9:54 am

    Oh Carrie, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Bad neighbors REALLY suck. We had neighbors once that sound a lot like yours – except that they were running a prostitution ring out of the apt and we never knew it. That prompted us to move…far far away.

    I’m glad you’re moving, and that May is not THAT far away. It will give you time to look for a new place, start packing, etc.

    Take care of you. I’m thinking of ya. :)

    Lisa

  2. Tiffany on February 12th, 2009 9:57 am

    Sorry to hear what you are dealing with. I cannot belive that woman walked into your home!! I should think your landlord would take that more seriously.

    I hear you about the stealing. I caught my 8 year old in theft this week and it is REALLY bothering me. He raided his sister’s piggy bank and then brought the money to me as his so I could buy a DVD for him on Amazon. Only after I bought it did his sister inquire as to what happened to her money and I automatically knew. I was devestated. Since she saves and rarely spends he figured she wouldn’t notice if he helped himself. It is hard to see straight with something like that…very disturbing.

  3. Christina on February 12th, 2009 10:00 am

    So sorry you’re feeling sad. The day is early so I hope you can turn your mood around. I’ve also been there with the stealing child and it’s especially tough when they betray your trust. Hopefully she’ll learn her lesson and she’ll remember your words.

  4. Leslie on February 12th, 2009 10:14 am

    What a tough day! It is normal for 6 years to “lift” things as they are impulsive. But it is also okay to tell them how that makes you feel. And its okay to have her pay restitution such as doing chores to pay off what she stole. It teaches accountability and responsibility.

    Keep on the landlord. It does take awhile to evict someone though.

    Chin up! I’m glad you have something like Bible study to help nurture your spirit!

  5. Marie on February 12th, 2009 11:04 am

    Carrie – sorry to read that you are feeling a bit blue. It’s good that you vent it out and not dwell on it. Yup, have your second cup of coffee … and go on with your day – before you know it … you won’t be so blue anymore. I don’t have any advise about parenting or neighbors but – I guess moving after your lease is up would be a good thing.

  6. casual friday everyday on February 12th, 2009 3:44 pm

    It hurts deeply when my kids hurtful things or shoot dirty looks. I remember doing the same to my mom and I’ve always loved her dearly. But now that I’m on this side I can see how hurtful it was.

    HUGS!

    Nell

  7. carrie on February 12th, 2009 3:48 pm

    Thanks for the kind words ladies.

    How come noone is touching that third issue making me sad with a ten foot pole? LOL!

  8. casual friday everyday on February 12th, 2009 4:46 pm

    You just need to break up Chris and Gwyneth and grab him up ;)

    Seriously, sorry he turned out to be a jerk but you know what? Your radar must not be as off as you think because you noticed it quickly and you’re done with him now. I say that IS a step in the right direction.

    Nell

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