Babies Lie – 2 Schools of Thought
July 5, 2007
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Have you heard about this recent study that proves that babies as young as 6 months can “lie”? I’ll let you read about it more here if you haven’t heard it yet. Then I’ll tell you what I think about this.
Are you back? Ok.
Firstly, one camp is going to say that this proves that babies are trying to manipulate parents and that is why we should ignore their cries. See – they are as evil as we told you they were. Didn’t Grandma tell you not to pick that baby up every time s/he cries? All you parents who respond to your child’s “lies” are just spineless wimps. So there!
A couple of questions: Why do babies who are held cry an average of 40% less than babies who aren’t held? Do they not need to lie as much since their needs are being met? Perhaps the “deception” taking place is self protective? And what exactly IS manipulation?
If a friend who is upset calls me and I answer the phone, she will likely tell me what’s on her mind. But what if she gets my machine? Will she pour out her heart and cry into the voicemail? Likely not. That means she’s “lying” if she cries on my shoulder in person, right?
To be fair, likely anyone who has had a toddler has witnessed the child fall down, then immediately look around to see if they need to cry. But that doesn’t mean that the fall didn’t hurt. It means that the child will seek comfort if there is someone around to give it. What’s wrong with getting a few extra hugs and kisses? Don’t we all need that?
If you have a bad day and come home to a spouse, do you talk to them about it? My guess is, if you don’t have a spouse, you don’t have that same conversation with yourself (otherwise your neighbors might have you committed!). Does that mean you’re manipulating your spouse if you have one?
And this bit about pretend laughing. In my opinion, that just that means babies are really, really smart. They’ve already figured out, just a few months on this planet, that laughing and smiling, even if you’re putting on, make other people laugh and smile. What’s so wrong with faking happiness? Haven’t studies shown that just the act of smiling causes chemical changes in the brain that make you feel good?
I wish more adults knew that! Don’t you?
I’ll end with a lovely cartoon that illustrates how I feel about this stuff. I didn’t draw it though, Hathor did. Enjoy!
http://www.thecowgoddess.com/?p=662
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4 Responses to “Babies Lie – 2 Schools of Thought”
Got something to say?
There’s an old Chinese saying (loosely translated): “The nature of every human being is pure and kind.”
And I believe in the saying. Assuming the research is true, we are the ones to blame. Because we provide the environment for babies to resort to lying to get what they want.
Carrie, you took the words right out of my mouth! I couldn’t have said it any better. I appreciate your insight
You have got to be kidding me? But you know what this is what I had to live through with my aunts, grandma and sometimes my mom.
It just killed them because I would never let my girls cry. Honestly I do not like to hear crying, so I am going to do everything in my willpower to not let my girls cry. I guess this is why my girls would do a lot of comfort nursing which my family didn’t understant.
This was a great post . . . I linked to it from my own post about this topic, and I hope my readers will stop by and read it too.