Being Positive Despite Difficulties (besides eating chocolate)
February 14, 2008
Today on Moms Morning Show Kelly, Cara, Marie and I talked some more about being positive in business. Blog Talk Radio was having some issues and there was a bad echo until Marie hung up (sorry Marie!). So when she left the show, she left us with a question:
“How do you remain positive when you’re doing everything you should but have problems due to factors beyond your control?”
I thought that was a great question and my response was that the answer was self evident. Marie left the conversation due to her phone, but she gave us an interesting topic for conversation instantly (and due to some insomnia, I for one was feeling a little brain dead until then!).
I shared how one day when I was all geared up to get some major work done, had the mommy’s helper over and a big fat to do list to accomplish, and my Internet went dead.
I tried all the usual things, but nothing was working. Later I found out that the internet was down everywhere in my neighborhood. At first I was really disappointed, but I decided to try to make the best of the situation. So I thought about what I *could* do, which was get on my computer and write.
But, that day ended up being one of the most productive days I’ve ever had, because I started my first information product. The rough draft was complete that day. Who knows how long I might have procrastinated on that, and income I would have lost out on. So, my thought was to try to make the best of the situation.
Secondly, language is very powerful. I remember reading a point in one of Anthony Robbins’ books about this. He suggested that we intentionally downplay our unpleasant feelings when we speak, and our emotions will follow suit. For instance, if we’re tired we should say “I’m feeling a bit tired today”, instead of “I’m so totally and completely exhausted!”. Or, instead of saying “It’s always something” or “If it’s not one thing it’s another”, say something like: “This is a little annoying, but I’ll work through it.”
Another thing I mentioned on the show is that if we have the expectation that life will behave, we’re setting ourselves up for major disappointment. Life doesn’t behave! Life is great but it doesn’t behave, so we can’t expect it to be trouble free.
Changing that paradigm will work wonders in our life.
I see parallels with parenting here. For one, we need to be careful about how we talk (even in our own minds) about our kids. With my oldest, I had difficulty teaching him how not to be bossy with other children. First, I switched “bossy” around in my head and turned it into “natural leader”.
So I would remind him that he was a natural leader, and that would serve him well in adulthood, but for now he needed to learn how not to turn other kids off when he interacted with them.
We also can’t expect our children to behave all the time, or to read our minds or meet our needs. They’re little people learning how to be in the world and get their needs met. They’re not misbehaving to get on our nerves. Keeping that firmly in mind makes things so much easier.
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