I’m sure your comment will be helpful to a mom who is unable to have a home birth. And of course, there is nothing wrong/bad about hospital birth. My oldest son was born in hospital and I have very fond memories of the entire experience.

With that being said, knowing that I would love to have a homebirth one day, having had two {very different} hospital births….(and knowing that NOT every hospital experience is like mine….)

1. Safety – don’t let baby out of your sight. With a normal, uncomplicated birth, you do not HAVE to let baby go anywhere. I do agree with you on the interventions, but, speak up and say no to forceps/pit/interventions – women have a voice and they need to use it!

2. Stress – My ctx did “die down” with my 2nd on the way to the hospital, but with my first, as soon as we got into the car, my ctx immediately got closer together and longer. With #2, my drive was much further (over an hour, compared to 30 minutes with son#1) I think my body “realized” this and allowed me to rest for the majority of the drive there – when we were about 15-20 minutes away, my ctx picked up greatly and I entered into transition on the way there. Both births leaving the hospital – I fell asleep on the way home.

3. Family – Yes, there’s usually a number/limit to those who can be there – I was afforded the luxury of 2 doulas and my husband – but I didn’t want anyone else. A good friend recently had her second daughter and wasn’t able to drop off her oldest in time and she was able to be there for the birth with no problem what so ever – they assigned a nurse to be with her daughter and take care of her (in the whole 8 minutes they were there before her daughter was born)

4. Choices – Stay at home as long as possible and you can do all that too. I went out to eat with family and went to a chiropractor’s appointment – came home, cleaned some, played with my son, put him to bed, roamed our apartment did everything I wanted to do til I felt it was time to leave. Once at the hospital, I was free to shower, enjoy the tub (as a VBAC I wasn’t allowed to birth in it – I was secretly hoping my labor would move so fast that I could “accidentally” have my son in the tub, but my big guys don’t come very fast, lol), I pushed on hands & knees and squatting, I danced with my husband, leaned on my doulas and birthed on hands and knees.

5. Comfort (see above)

6. Nourishment – I was ASKED to eat/drink in labor once arriving at the hospital – my nurses/OB/midwife were begging and pleading, but I just had no desire (probably b/c I stayed at home and ate there)

7. Control – Most hospitals only require 15 mins of an hour of fetal monitoring – not continuous — ASK what the policies are — remember the voice we have?

8. Bonding – With my c-section, my son was having breathing issues, so they needed to monitor him, but they did it all within my line of sight. With my second, I held and nursed him immediately – no bath for hours, no tests or anything. How? I said, “We decline anything that will hinder bonding until I say so.” And that was that.

9. Breastfeeding – never had a problem BFing in a hospital. In fact, had round the clock support from my nurses and LC’s if a problem arose.

10. Midwives – can be found in partnership w/ OB’s, and in birth centers.

11. Home – While I want to have a home birth – I personally love the stay (I’m weird, lol) I like being able to push a button and get anything I want off a menu when I want it, get what I need when I want it – esp during the time when everyone will have already gone home

12. Dad – the whole reason HB isn’t happening right now. My husband was THE biggest support in the room during my VBAC, even more so than my doulas (they were a huge HELP, but he was the biggest encouragement and support – emotionally and physically). He is SO not comfortable with the idea of a HB (the images of our 1st birth are still so vivid in his mind) If I were to chose a HB, I would lose my greatest source of support and encouragement. Yes, I would have that from friends/doulas/MW, but it would not be the same. He’s warming to the idea, but would prefer a birth center (VBACs aren’t allowed at ours, and I’m looking at traveling further for it) – but I’d rather have a hospital birth and his support than anything in the world.

13. Pride – well, isn’t there some saying about pride…and a fall? But, I was VERY proud of my VBAC accomplishments – and I know I would have been no matter how things turned out – home/hospital, medicated/natural, VBAC/c-section — MY body grew this tiny person who is now one of the sweetest, most loving, funny, amazing 14 month olds I’ve ever met – how can I NOT be proud of that fact?! you mentioned the mother’s hand being the first to touch the baby – that happened with both my boys, in the hospital – I kept my hands on their heads for ass long as possible – with my 1st, that had to stop once it was time for my c-section, and with my 2nd, when I got on hands & knees to push, I couldn’t focus as well while trying to keep my hand on his head, and I didn’t get to hold him as he came out (which was the original plan) but I spoke with my midwife later and she wrote in my file that we will do all we can to make that happen next time and I have no doubt that it will.

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I understand why you wrote this post, but often, I get so heartbroken reading things like this knowing that 1- I, personally, may never get to experience it (by choice) and 2- how those who aren’t comfortable with the idea of HBing are made to feel like their decision to hospital birth is wrong/bad.

thanks for letting me barf all over the comment box