I passed you in the store today. You were wrapped in your winter coat, but you couldn’t close it all the way, thanks to your lovely round belly. I was noticing how your blouse was pulled tight and your weight had shifted down. I was thinking to myself that you look like you’ll probably be holding your newborn babe sometime in the next 3 days….and then I was thinking how arrogant it was of me to think I could predict what is so obviously a miracle-a secret just for you and your little one. I smiled to myself at my own chiding, and I suppose all this was happening while I was looking at your belly, because when I came back to reality, I realized my gaze was still in your direction. You saw me and acted embarrassed, and turned away.
I felt so bad!
So I’m writing to apologize.
You see, I really do find expectant women stunning. It’s like being in the presence of Diety in tangible form. I’m amazed at the miracle of pregnancy and birth each and every time I am privileged to be touched by it. Even if just to pass it in in the dairy aisle. I get almost giddy-I want to talk about their experiences with the joys of pregnancy and share a cup of Red Rasperry Leaf tea over Birth plans, fears and dreams.
Of course, it’s not my place to do this with perfect strangers, and while I am not one of those annoying women who will touch your belly without invitation, I can’t HELP but look-peek-dream….imagine.
It’s my passion. It’s my life’s calling to help women claim what is rightfully theirs in Birth, and to honor their passage through, and help them heal following. And my passion sometimes gets the best of me, and I look when I should avert my eyes. I smile stupidly at nothing-(dreaming of Birth and new babes) when I should be reading package labels….
So please excuse me if I pass you again, looking at you like we belong to a secret club….We do you know. You may not realize it, but we are both working to change the world-you through your meeting an opportunity for transformative Birth, and birthing an amazing new being ripe with potential…and I, by serving and encouraging women just like you….having walked that path-having met that transformation for myself. I know that you have no idea who I am or what I do, or that just your creating life has moved me-inspired me to action in my work-and I understand if you protect yourself or act shy. Our society sooo doesn’t get being amazed at the process. It’s so broken down into little pieces of physiological and scientific “evidence”, and the Mystery-the Miracle is lost.
So it’s not your belly I see when I pass you. It’s life coming through you.
It’s the miracle that makes me gawk. Really.
You are powerful-beautiful-amazing.
Thank you Beautiful Birthy Woman.