I’ve read many “Day in the Life” posts over the years as a blogger, but never did one until now, when SimpleHomeschool.net invited readers to share their day and link up to their Friday post. I’m so glad I did this! I learned a lot about myself. I’ll share what I mean tomorrow.

5:13 AM: My stomach, ignoring the protests of the rest of my body, decides sleep time is over. I get up and reheat a bowl of last night’s chili. I contemplate going back to bed for a bit, but since pregnancy nausea has set in, I’ve been sleeping later and I miss my morning routine. So I decide to stay up.

I grab the computer and place our farm order, which hubby will pick up tomorrow. 3 gallons of raw milk, 4 dozen eggs, and a bag of grass fed beef bones for broth. I read an email and learn what baby’s doing now at 14 weeks, officially my second trimester.

I hear Sadie, 6, get up and go to the bathroom. She leaves the bathroom light on, wide open, as usual. Ugh. It shines right into my bedroom and hits my eyes when I’m in bed. Reminding her to turn it off won’t do any good because she probably wants the light on so she can see back to her room easily. I decide to buy her a small flashlight to keep by her bed to solve this problem. She slept badly last night, and woke me up twice. I think it’s because she ate wheat Sunday. Every few months I let her try a bit to see if there’s a reaction, and there always is.

There’s a lot I need to do on the computer, but I shut it down because I’m feeling nauseous. Screens have that effect on me when I’m pregnant, which is really inconvenient when you’re a blogger.

I take a bath, get dressed, start water boiling.

6:45: Julien and Sadie wake up and come sit with me on the sofa. I hear toddler feet padding down the hallway and cries of “Mama” from the youngest, her Daddy just behind her. They’re not usually up for another hour. I must have made too much noise. I nurse Ruby and snuggle with Sadie. I say a prayer and ask for help with patience… not something I usually struggle with, but pregnancy hormones and nausea are making my fuse way too short lately.

I eat another small bowl of chili. I’m hungry all the time now.

Tea time. Julien, our resident tea maker, steeps a cup of Tasha Tudor’s Welsh breakfast tea for me. We drink this tea every day.  I write “Tasha Tudor” in my notebook and decide it would be fun to spend a day with the kids studying her life and works. She was a remarkable woman who lived life squarely on her terms and she’s fascinating to me.

Ruby hands me a Berenstain Bears book and says, “Read it“. I do, but it looks more like her turning pages to the objects she recognizes, so she can point and name them. “Baby, owl, bunny, eggs, puppy”, etc, which is frustrating to Sadie, who actually wants to hear the story.

7:20: I cook *Breakfast in a Bowl for the early risers. The later crew of big kids  can cook some more eggs to eat with the remaining grits when they awake. Ruby seems frantic for the sausages to be done, and eventually grabs my fork from my hand and feeds herself, then asks for “Mo“. I take this as a sign my milk supply is dropping. While we eat breakfast, we see the sunrise out the window.

(* Grits cooked with a ton of butter and cheese heaped in a bowl with fried egg and sausage.)

I get up to get Ruby and myself more food and realize it’s normal to be hungry when your body is nourishing 3 people. “Pee!”. I look behind me and Ruby is standing in a puddle. I had just put a clean diaper on her but the leg elastic is a bit stretched out on her Fuzzi Bunz and her toddler bladder holds a lot. I take off her pants and diaper and clean up the mess. Good thing Ilana will be mopping later. Yes, we will be potty training come Spring.

While I’m away from the table Julien reads this post in progress and laughs. I explain what a “day in the life” post is about. He says that I need to “make a book”. Ruby goes in the sink for a quick bath. Meanwhile I unload the dishwasher.

7:46: Hubby’s up, so I fry more sausages and eggs, then put on a little makeup. I ask Sadie not to play guitar while people are sleeping. A sleepy teenaged boy emerges from his bed and sits down at the piano to practice a new piece. I don’t tell him to be quiet. Now the big girls are up and eating breakfast. Ruby asks me to put her Raffi tape in the CD player. We discuss the origins of the song “Kumbayah”.

8:05: I check the calendar in my notebook that tells me what “monthly” cleaning task I’m working on today. It’s cleaning the outside of the fridge, stove and dishwasher. I decide to enlist Sadie’s help. I feel pukey, so I make myself a Perrier with lemon. I get a package together to ship, something I sold on Amazon.com. I don’t have a large envelope, but thankfully Julien, the eBay entrepreneur, does. My tape isn’t where it’s supposed to be on my desk. I holler to ask if anyone has it, and a child retrieves it for me.

8:20: Hubby kisses me goodbye, in a rush and looking stressed. Zoe is out the door to catch the school bus. I clean breakfast mess off the table then wipe the grits Ruby dropped attempting to feed herself off the floor.

Someone has given Ruby a bowl of shredded cheese. She eats half, the remainder is all over the floor. I attempt to brush my teeth, but before I’m through painful gagging ensues. I make a mental note to floss later. Meanwhile the girls have followed me into the bathroom and begin peppering me with questions. I use a tiny screwdriver to unlock the door to Sadie’s room which has mysteriously gotten locked for the umpteenth time this week. I announce 5 Minutes to Bible Reading.

8:45: Everyone is fed, dressed and has teeth brushed. Our homeschool day begins.

We sit down to read the Bible first. This is probably my favorite time of day, and the kids really enjoy it too. Today we take turns reading Joshua 5-7. We discuss it afterwards. Then we spend a few minutes looking up some of the places mentioned on a detailed map of the Promised Land. The baby runs around the living room playing with her doll, rummaging through books and alternately sitting in my lap.

When we’re done Caleb immediately starts on Math without assistance or prompting from me. He’s in the young Scholar phase for sure. I send Julien and Ilana to do their chores (Julien sweeps the dining/living room and Ilana sweeps and mops the kitchen) while I read two Bible stories to Sadie that correspond to the reading: one is about the fall of Jericho, the other about Achan’s thievery. She is distractable and squirrelly today. I point to words and have her read them. She gets the word right about 25% of the time.

We’re interrupted by a poopy diaper. I get up to clean up Ruby, then pass her off to Julien to put the new diaper on while I finish reading and discussing the stories with Sadie.

I notice that Ilana has begun reading Dave Ramsey’s book Financial Peace Revisited. She just finished Chapter One. I told her yesterday that for math this week instead of doing our usual thing (Saxon for her), we were going to talk about money and personal finance. It’s interesting that she took it upon herself to pick up this book and read it. Caleb did the same thing several months ago, and completed the book in a few days. It’s very important to me that my children learn sound financial principles (and it’s clear my brainwashing is working) so this makes me very happy!

9: 30: Julien goes outside for a bit for some fresh air and takes Ruby with him. I take the opportunity to clean up the kitchen. I usually have it done up by now, because I find that I enjoy doing school far more when it’s clean.

Ilana brings me a science project she’s working on: she and Julien decided to sprout a bean and chart the progress over a week’s time. Sadie gets excited about this and decides to make one of her own, Ilana helps her set it up.

While I clean, I discuss dinner plans with Caleb. He wants to cook lasagne which wasn’t in my meal plan, so I don’t have the ingredients – but how can I say no to him cooking that? I didn’t want to leave the house today, but decide to swing by the store to pick up the couple of things we need. I can send Caleb in while I stay in the car with everyone else. I look up my favorite slow cooker lasagne recipe. Caleb tells me that Nannie says he needs to start a compost pile for our garden (we had one, but abandoned it because our garden was a colossal flop). He goes downstairs to find a bucket, brings it up to the kitchen and dumps old tea leaves in it. I’m determined to find a local gardener who can mentor us this year. A friend comes to mind.

Sadie wants to write a letter to her friend. I help her spell the words she doesn’t know.

The trip to the store doesn’t take long. When we get home Julien, Caleb and I start on the lasagne. I cook rice and leftover chili for lunch. Sadie decides to eat her rice with chopsticks.

11:40: Ruby has nursed to sleep, so it’s time for Read Aloud with the middle kids. We’re reading The Boxcar Children, which we started yesterday. We’re already halfway through the book because they kept asking for “One more chapter!“. While we read, Caleb does Rosetta Stone Spanish. Then he looks up YouTube videos to learn the fingering for new songs he wants to play on piano.When he’s done, he picks up his current read, a 700+ page Sherlock Holmes collection. He bought the book Sunday night, but it looks like he’ll finish it this week.

12:13: Sadie skips off to play in her room, so I decide to take a 20 minute nap with the baby. I let Ilana play on the computer for a bit. Julien is working on eBay stuff.

1:18: Ok, so maybe my nap was a bit longer than 20 minutes. The nausea has been unrelenting all day, and I’m fighting grumpiness. Besides, I have this sweet snugglebunny.

I get up, and remember the monthly task I need to do. I ask Sadie to come to the kitchen and hand her a cleaning cloth and a spray bottle of vinegar/water. We clean the front of the stove, fridge and dishwasher. It only takes a couple of minutes. The kitchen is a disaster again, but I don’t say a word. I’m happy the kids like to cook, so I’m ok with the “clean as you go” lesson taking a bit longer. Julien is at the sink washing a saucepan so he can hard boil eggs.

1: 50: History. I sit with Ilana and Julien and we read about Charles the Hammer. Caleb is working through the Story of the World: The Middle Ages too, but he’s way ahead of us and uses a different workbook to test himself after his reading. Where is Caleb by the way? I hear the dryer door slam and realize he’s downstairs doing his chore: laundry.

2:13:  “Pee. Poop.” Pick up the baby and change her diaper, then head into the bathroom to wash my hands. I brush my teeth again, remembering to stop when I get that tickle in my throat, before gagging begins. I empty the bathroom trash can, then take two bags of kitchen trash to the curb.

It’s warm out, so Ruby comes with me. She begins climbing into the stroller. “Walk!” This surprises me, since for the last couple of months she has been protesting the stroller and the sling, meaning I’ve had to either let her walk and meander alongside, or hold her. I take advantage of the situation, tell Sadie to get her shoes on, and start walking around the neighborhood. Ruby points out everything she knows. “Bird. Doggie. Choo-choo train. Flower.” Then, “Out.” Ah. There it is. I am already huffing and puffing so I encourage her to stay in until we get home. She goes back to humming and singing. Sadie chatters happily. I give myself permission to feel proud of exercising despite feeling like warmed up dog poop.

3:04: Caleb is back upstairs, updates me on the laundry situation, and sits down at the piano again. Julien plays with LEGO behind me, he is building a safe complete with a combination lock. Sadie is outside digging holes. Ilana is playing a pointless computer game in which she has to do “Chef” tasks like shred cheese. I consider telling her that there is real cheese in the kitchen she can shred, but think better of it. We don’t have TV, cable, or Nintendo, so a little brain candy in the form of computer games isn’t a hill I want to die on.

Note The Shirt. It says, Eat. Sleep. Lego.

I grab Ruby and head back outside to play with Sadie, who is digging up earthworms. She asks me again what they do for the garden, and I explain. I suddenly feel happy with my life, to be here with my children, and say a little prayer expressing gratitude for the mild weather. My body is craving Spring about as much as it’s craving steak. I remember to take my shoes off so my feet can connect with the earth.

 3:35: Caleb brings up a load of clean cloth diapers, then reads a Potty book to Ruby. She Ruby brings me another book and says, “Couch!”. I sit down and we “read”. I try to muster the energy to attack the kitchen mess before Zoe gets home. It’s her chore, but I hate for her to come home from school to such a mess. Caleb is deep into Sherlock Holmes again. Ilana asks me to read another chapter of the Boxcar Children. I read 2. I successfully procrastinate the kitchen cleanup.

I go back outside with Sadie, who is desperate to do something in the garden. I tell her she can put dead leaves on the garden area so she begins picking up armfuls and spreading them around.

4:10: Did somebody mention steak? I’m starving, so I reheat the rice from lunch and stir fry some steak with ginger, soy sauce, vinegar to eat. I begin to smell the lasagne cooking in the slow cooker. It’s bubbling over and dripping all down the counter and drawers underneath. Caleb puts it on top of a large plate to catch the mess.

A fight commences, only the second skirmish of the day, so I feel fortunate. Ilana has taken a necklace from the floor, but it belongs to Julien, who demands it back. She can’t find it. They get animated, and the baby starts screaming at them. I ask Ilana if she wants to be like Achan, who took things that didn’t belong to him. She replies no. I ask her to sweep the living room. Incidentally the exact scenario played out earlier, only the perp was Sadie, who took a toy from Ilana’s room. I was thankful to be able to use that story.

4:50: Caleb walks in the door from the bus stop where he has picked up Zoe, who is finally home from school. I find it disturbing that a child in public school is gone from her family for this many hours a day. I’m glad I got the kitchen cleaned up. I call Julien over and read a couple of chapters of James and the Giant Peach, the current read-aloud I’m sharing with just him (although Ilana joins in). He’s not as much of an avid reader as my other kids, but he loves to be read to, so I single him out for this.

5:15: Hubby walks in. He tells me immediately about a conversation he had with a potential landlord. We were interested in a home with 5 bedrooms in the area, and I contacted the man through Craigslist. He asked how many children we had. When Zeke answered truthfully, he laughed and said, “That’s not going to work.” Large family discrimination is very real folks. Nevermind that in the 2 years we’ve rented from our current landlord, we’ve never been late on rent. Nevermind that we were prepared to pay a security deposit and first month’s rent. 6 kids are the proverbial turd in the punch bowl. It occurs to me that if I were a litigious person, I could contact a lawyer to sue him for discrimination. I think about emailing the jerk, but decide he isn’t worth my time. Besides, I prayed hard about this situation and asked that if it had His blessing, it would be effortless. Obviously it’s not meant to be.

The noise from dinner is getting to me a little, and I’m feeling gross. I send the kids downstairs to play so Zeke and I can have some quiet to talk. He rocks Ruby and sings to her, a song he made up.  He announces to the kids that it’s 5 Minutes to Family Worship.

6:25: Family Worship. We read a few passages from 1 Samuel and discuss how God chose David. That he judges people not based on their appearance, but on their qualities. Caleb answers a question he was assigned to look up in his personal study. Sadie is getting tired so she’s a little wiggly.

7:00: The kids go back downstairs to play. Zeke holds my hand on the sofa and we commence one of our favorite activities, watching Ruby’s antics. She keeps picking up Julien’s foot and wrinkling her nose. I must look terrible, because Zeke keeps asking me if he can get me something to help. “Beer“, I reply. “I don’t have any. Do you want me to pick some non-alcoholic brew up for you?” “No“. I know he’s tired, and I don’t want him to have to leave the house. The only time I crave beer is when I’m pregnant.

7:18: The nausea has been getting progressively stronger and I can’t deal with it anymore. I head to my room to lie in the dark. (I ended up falling asleep and waking up at 12:00 to eat a snack. Meanwhile, hubby put everyone to bed!)

I love to challenge myself to make things myself instead of buying them.

Sometimes, the motivation is financial. Homemade stuff is almost always cheaper. Sometimes, it’s the healthier, more natural option. And all of the time, the homemade version is more environmentally friendly.

I’ve been unhappy with the green dishwashing liquids I’ve tried. Most of them are very expensive. Even with sales and coupons, you can expect to pay over $2 for a bottle of the stuff. And it’s not terribly effective.

Another option for dishwashing liquid is diluted castille soap, but even if I bought Dr. Bronner’s soap by the gallon, the price would be around .35 an ounce, comparable to store bought.

Then I came across this recipe for homemade dishwashing liquid on Annienygma’s site. I thoroughly enjoy her blog because of her “Possum Living” lifestyle. I decided to give it a shot.

All you need are:

- Arm & Hammer Washing Soda
- Octagon soap
- Water
- Cute assistant (optional)

I always keep Washing Soda on hand because I use it in my homemade laundry detergent recipe.  Turns out a local grocery store was going out of business, so I swung by and bought 15 bars of Octagon soap at a discount. They were around .50 each.

I had never used Octagon before, but I remember my Grandmother always had it around her house. It has a very mild fragrance and the finished product wasn’t perfumey at all (my main gripe with commercially available dishwashing liquid, the smell of all of them makes me sick). You could easily add a few drops of your favorite essential oil to pretty up the fragrance.

The recipe called for a half bar of grated Octagon soap and just 1 Tablespoon Washing Powder.  I cut the recipe in half, which means that the half gallon of dishwashing liquid I made cost me less than .20.

Most definitely a frugal choice. I poured the finished soap into a pretty soap dispenser next to my sink using a small funnel.

But how does it work?

We’ve been using it for the dishes we hand wash (pots and pans, items that aren’t dishwasher safe) and it works awesome! However, it makes ZERO lather. This might be an issue for some, but it doesn’t matter to me. I know that “lather” doesn’t have anything to do with how clean something is. Lather comes from Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, an ingredient I avoid in cleaning products.

I imagine this recipe would also make an awesome laundry stain treatment since that’s traditionally one of the uses of Octagon soap. I plan on keeping a squeeze bottle of it in the laundry room to put a bit directly on stains before washing clothes.

Have you ever made your own dishwashing liquid? Got a great recipe to share?

Question:

What’s worse than having debilitating morning sickness 24 hours a day?

(Waves hand wildly.)

Oh I know! I know! Pick me! Pick me!

Having debilitating morning sickness 24 hours a day AND having a stomach flu make its way through the family!

It started off with Sadie, the 6 year old. Vomiting, diarrhea, the works. At the time she happened to be spending the night at my mother’s house. My mother offered to take care of her for me and I gratefully agreed. Sadie came home and Caleb, 13, got sick. The next day I got it.

I couldn’t keep anything down, not even fluids, for 24 hours and the next day I was as weak and dizzy as a newborn kitten. I only got out of bed to use the bathroom, and since then I’ve only been able to eat Lipton noodle soup and popsicles. I’m not winning any awards for nutrition this month, for sure.

Still, I am trying to be grateful.

1. Sadie, the one I worry about the most when she gets sick because she is the youngest non-nursing member of the family (I don’t worry about nursing babies so much because their illnesses are so mild and they never get dehydrated because breastmilk stays down so well) was well by the time she got back from my Mom’s.

2. Caleb is old enough that other than occasional checking in, he is self sufficient when sick. (Once when I fetched a blanket to put on him when he was lying on the sofa, he told me “Nevermind me mom, you go take care of yourself.” So sweet!)

3. Ruby hasn’t gotten it yet and if she does, I’ll at least be mostly well. And she is old enough now that she is happy letting my mom or her Daddy care for her in my place.

4. My husband has been right as rain so far. He puts the kids through the evening routine and rocks Ruby to sleep for me.

5. Mothers. What would we do without them? When I was too weak to stand up my mom was here cooking for everyone and playing with the baby.

It could be worse!

After Stonyfield Farms made the unfortunate decision to homogenize their organic yogurt, I was determined to try my hand at making my own. And since the only milk we buy and consume around here is raw milk, of course it was going to be raw milk yogurt.

I bought a nifty yogurt maker on Craigslist and some lovely yogurt starter from Cultures for Health. I was so excited! I envisioned my youngsters eating raw milk yogurt topped with fruit for breakfast, snacks and dessert.

Two totally failed attempts later, discouragement set in. I was already about $30 invested in this project with nothing to show for it. Ouch. Since kefir making is so easy and free, I had almost decided to just give up and let kefir be my main dairy probiotic food.

What I didn’t know yet was that making yogurt from raw milk without cooking it a little first (hence, making it not raw) was nearly impossible. Most people are unable to pull it off. Why? Because the naturally occurring enzymes, one of the things that makes raw milk so good for you, compete with the yogurt culture. The yogurt never sets.

After doing some more research, I was at least determined to heat my raw milk first. Even “cooked”, the finished product would be far superior to anything store bought. But I still wanted a simpler method.

I enjoy Christine’s blog, A Year of Slow Cooking. One day while perusing her recipes I found this on the sidebar: You Can Make Yogurt In Your Slow Cooker.

Bingo! Guess what I ate this morning?
photo credit: FotoosVanRobin

A big huge bowl of raw milk yogurt, made in the slow cooker. Teehee.

It’s delicious, I think even tastier than store bought. I like the taste of plain, unflavored yogurt, but I’m sure the kids will want to add a little honey or fruit. It has a very mild, clean refreshing taste. Yum!

The only caveat is that the texture is a little runny. I think I need to keep the milk heated in the slow cooker a tad longer next time. If that doesn’t work, I’ll just add a packet of plain unflavored gelatin. I don’t mind the texture, it’s like drinkable yogurt, but I bet the kids would prefer it with a little more drag on the spoon. It was so easy too. And only one bowl to wash (the slow cooker crock).

I’ve calculated that making my own amounts to at least a 50% savings over store bought to boot. Because I despise “uni-tasking” appliances, I’m thrilled that I can now sell my yogurt maker.

If you’re interested in making raw milk yogurt (or pasteurized for that matter) in your slow cooker, be sure to check out Christine’s instructions. The comments have some useful info too.

Francine Jay, best selling author and writer of the lovely blog Miss Minimalist was sweet enough to publish my profile yesterday. You can read it here:

Larger Family Minimalism

I thought I would link to a few of my favorite posts about simplifying and minimalism so Francine’s readers can get to know me a little better, as well as address a question that came up in the comments.

Am I Limiting The Children Somehow Because They Don’t Do Extracurricular Activities?

Good question!

At the time of that writing, none of the kids were doing extracurricular activities, but at this moment one is taking piano lessons (he has been self taught for a long time however), and 2 are taking ballet classes. These classes are for a couple of months and aren’t long term.

In the past, the kids have taken a variety of classes (art, pottery, dance), and are very involved with friends and activities through a homeschool field trip group.

It’s not that outside activities are banned, it’s that the kids seem happier when we don’t “go” a lot.

The children pursue a lot of their own interests … two of the kids are musicians (guitar, piano), one is a prolific writer, one has a thriving eBay business, one loves to sew, one started a book club recently… and we are learning Spanish as a family… so no, I don’t think the kids are limited or being held back in any way.

Generally speaking I think many kids are too overscheduled these days. It’s better for them to have lots of time to just be… this is why they can pursue their own interests in their own way.

Now for a few of my favorite posts on simple living and minimalism, larger family style:

• Getting rid of the off season/hand me down clothing stash
• How to be a minimalist parent
• Minimalism and homeschooling
• How I use Evernote to eliminate paper clutter 
• Simple living: A review of 52 Bites

Francine’s book is on my wish list, but I have read her ebook and it’s excellent! You can download it for .99 here: Miss Minimalist: Inspiration to Downsize, Declutter, and Simplify

I complain about morning sickness. I do. (I hate calling it that, because it’s 24 hours a day for me and many women.)

But don’t misunderstand.

I’m grateful for morning sickness.

At my first prenatal appointment, my midwife couldn’t hear the baby’s heartbeat.

She told me not to worry, that you can only hear it 50% of the time at this stage, and that my uterus (which is tipped) is way down in my bowels. They would have had to skewer me with the Doppler to get at baby’s heartbeat, my own was so loud.

I had to remind myself to breathe.

Later on, on the drive home, hubby asked me if I was worried.

“No. But I would be, if I wasn’t sick 24 hours a day.”

The sickness, although a curse, is oddly comforting. It reminds me, moment by moment, of what my body is doing. It tells me that my hormone levels are high enough to sustain the pregnancy.

Last night as I lay in my bed in the dark quiet, asking the room to please stop spinning, I picked up my phone to see if there was something interesting I could watch on TED.com to distract me.

This came up.

Warning: If you get to the end of this short video without tearing up, call an ambulance. Because you have no pulse.

You know what I find interesting lately?

What people assume.

I was taught that when you assume, you make an ass+u+me.

But, I was raised right. Not everyone learned that wisdom.

I find it humorous that people assume that because you have several children, you are overwhelmed and stressed.

I am neither.

(What I am at the moment is nauseated, but that will pass.)

That having several children is “hard”.

It’s not. At least, not for me.

That they must be accidents.

That you must not understand how the plumbing works. That you’re too ignorant to use birth control.

That a 7th child in the household couldn’t have been planned.

And they would be wrong.

Call me crazy, but I have this notion that children are a blessing.

The other day when an acquaintance I hadn’t seen in a few years met my husband and found out we had 6 children together and were expecting another, she exclaimed:

“I hope you have a good job!”

(My husband said the next time someone asked him that, he would reply, “No, I just have a really good wife!” Ain’t he sweet?)

When he assured her that he was a business owner and doing quite fine, her next question was:

“Well what about health care!?”

Umm, impertinent much? I wonder if she would appreciate my asking if her husband was prepared for retirement just because he is in his 60′s?

I can’t imagine asking someone about their financial situation. I also can’t imagine making assumptions like this about people. I can’t imagine commenting on someone’s choice of family size, or birth control, or the mechanics of sex. I honestly don’t care what someone else decides to do with their life. Their choices don’t affect me.

But these are things people say to parents of large families.

The truth is, having several children makes you smarter about where your money goes. My husband and I budget carefully. Just last night we held a Couples Meeting where we discussed the budget, make adjustments, looked at our overall financial picture, and discussed our goals.

We’re doing fine. We have no credit card debt, we just paid cash for our vehicle, we recently took an 8 day vacation, we have savings on hand for emergencies and we earn more than enough to provide for our family. Considering these facts, I would say we are doing far better than many who are saddled with credit card debt and live paycheck to paycheck.

Why am I called upon to defend myself?

Do people who assume that mothers of many are unhappy and stressed simply feel threatened? Perhaps because they don’t enjoy motherhood? I never asked for the title, but several friends have dubbed me SuperMom. Would this cause another mom to feel inferior and make inappropriate comments to me?

More assumptions about large families, just for the fun of it:

• That your home must be a mess all the time
• That you live in chaos
• That you never get a quiet moment to yourself
• That you live off the government, or even better… child support (don’t make me laugh with that last one!)
• That your house is always loud and crazy
• That you don’t spent time with the children individually
• That you and your spouse can’t get alone time
• That the breadwinner works 70+ hours a week.

I suppose you can learn a lot about a person by what they assume.

No?

My standard answer to these kinds of inappropriate questions from now on? I’m going to turn it around on the person and ask them how they’re doing in that particular area. People reflect onto your their own concerns. They reflect what’s in their heart.

Comment: “Another baby?! You guys need to get the snip!”

Reply: “Actually, we planned this child and are quite happy. Are you worried about your family planning?”

Comment: “How are you guys going to pay for all those kids?”

Reply: “We’re doing fine, thanks. Are you concerned about your finances?”

What do you think?

A couple of weeks ago Sadie, 6, announced that she would make breakfast every day. I guess she figured since I’m not doing it, someone had to. And it might as well be her. I like that attitude.

This morning she made oatmeal and scrambled eggs. Everyone ate it. Except me. I had already eaten my sausage egg biscuit in bed, courtesy of hubby.

Yesterday Sadie showed me her hand. It was red, and scratched. I kissed it tenderly.

“Mom, you know that really doesn’t make it feel better.”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

She’s growing up.

She’s more Ramona Quimby than Dora.

When did this happen?

Yesterday, just as I was getting irritated at the thought of helping her clean her room again, which I do almost every day, yet by 10 AM it looks like a tornado came through it, hip deep in detritus.

At some point mid-morning I asked her to please go clean her room for 10 minutes.

“Oh, I’ve already been cleaning it.”

I got up from my beloved spot on the couch to see if I could actually tell anything had been done.

It was spotless and completely organized.  Everything on her desk was in neat little piles. No trash or laundry or bedding or God-knows-what-else scattered everywhere.

My Grandma, for whom I am named (the Lee part, not the Alice part), has an expression for a child who seems older than her years.

Growny. Pronounced grown-ee. As in, “Look at her, she’s so growny. She cooked breakfast all by herself. Bless her heart.”

This is the same women who declared to my Father, upon hearing the news of my 6th pregnancy, “Well shut my mouth!”

I don’t know if it’s one of those funny words old Southerners say that ends up being pure perfect old English – like “reckon”, or if it’s just a made up Grandmaism.

Ruby is ready to potty train, if only her mother weren’t too sick and lazy to do it right now.

She has all the signs of readiness.

She is highly verbal. She points to her diaper and says “pee” or “poo” when the appropriate event has taken place. She resists diaper changes. She pulls the diaper off whenever possible. She says “potty”. She brings us her “Big Girls Use The Potty” books and asks us to read them to her. She finds her potties and brings them to the living room. She sits on her potties – naked or fully clothed.

When I look down at the keyboard, the letters are climbing all over each other and fuzzy. My eyes go all wonky at this point in the pregnancy. I’m not ready.

She is though.

So many times with these kids I find that by the time I get around to teaching them something, they’ve already learned it. Maybe I’ll look up in my second trimester and she will have potty trained herself.

My oldest’s voice has become so deep and manly that when he talks, sometimes I don’t recognize him and think my ex husband is in the house.  His feet are monstrous.

The 10 year old makes more money on eBay every month than I do. My 8 year old looks like a supermodel with lip gloss and dimples so big you can eat soup out of them.

These kids are too growny around here.

We would all be a lot healthier and happier if we behaved more like toddlers. I observe my 18 month old and realize that everything you need to know about relationships and emotional and physical health you can learn from them.

I offer:

We Should Be More Like Toddlers

Sit in laps often.

When you’re angry at someone, go ahead and let them know immediately. Yell at them once. Then forget it 30 seconds later.

Squat. Climb. Run. Roll around on the floor. Keep moving, until it’s time to nap. A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Get happy and excited about things like: your water cup. A puppy. Spotting the moon. Going outside. A favorite book.

Say few things. But say them so cute that everyone stops what they’re doing to listen.

Ask for what you want. Eventually, someone will appear and help you get it.

When you do something good, applaud yourself. Don’t wait for others to notice.

Eat a few bites. Then run around a lot.

If you want love, ask someone to rock you.

More about why I love toddlers.

I like reading blogger’s pregnancy updates. I like seeing (covered up) belly shots. Not that I’ll be posting any. But updates, yes.

My little prune is coming along nicely, from the feel of things. I’m sick day and night and although eating beans are helping, I still feel horrible.

How do I know they’re helping?

Because Saturday I forgot to eat beans, and Sunday was the most violently ill I’ve been so far this pregnancy.

When I lie down, my belly sticks up. My pants don’t fit, and I’m wearing a belly band to keep them from falling off unzipped. Funny how, after several babies, your body begins showing when you’re 5 minutes pregnant.

I spent most of my day trying to find something that I can tolerate eating. I take two bites then push it away.

It’s survival mode at the moment. These are the weeks of frozen waffles for the kid’s breakfasts, and paper plates. Cooking breakfast is out of the question. I tried it today, only to vomit in front of my husband and son in the kitchen trash can.

The crushing fatigue is thankfully lifting. I can get through the day without a nap. But bedtime comes at 8. Not that I fall asleep, but being still in a quiet dark room helps me deal with the intense waves of nausea that come at night.

It’s funny how you forget everything.

Like, you cannot imagine how it feels to be so severely nauseated 24 hours a day, to gag painfully every time you brush your teeth/open the fridge or dishwasher/change a diaper/smell someone’s breath. To have your food come up to your uvula several times a day, only willpower keeping it down. Make no sudden movements. It’s beyond description. Like food poisoning that lasts for months, not hours.

Then when you’re about 36 weeks pregnant it hits you.

Oh. Crap. Labor.

It suddenly dawns on you that you’re going to have to go through that pain again.

Why something as beautiful and life changing as bringing forth new life has to be accompanied by so much pain and discomfort and icki-poo-ness? I don’t get it.

And as soon as the baby comes, I’ll forget it all over again.

The kids have discovered old Cosby Show episodes on Netflix, and watching them starting from the pilot episode.

Which is fine by me. As screen time goes, they could do far worse. As it is, the oldest already knows Billy Cosby’s “Himself” routine practically verbatim. He’s getting some fresh material.

Water you doin?

Being Eco-Friendly With Your Food – Even When You’re Finished With It

Last week, I was at my local retailer doing some homemaking-related shopping. I bought some water softener for the wash, a new garlic press, and a cutting board. I also browsed up and down the aisles as I often do, checking out the stainless-steel appliances and the line of new blenders. Just as I was about to leave the section and head to the check-out, something interesting caught my eye: a do-it-yourself composting kit.

photo credit: 305 Seahill

While I have friends who compost foods in their backyards, I had never before seen such a kit in the store. Seeing the kit got me thinking. In my life, on a weekly basis, I make every effort to be green and eco-friendly when it comes to sourcing, preparing, and eating my food. I look for locally grown and all-natural products. I prepare meals that are high in beans and low in red meat. From the moment a crop is planted until the moment its product lands on my plate, I make every effort to be as sustainable and green as possible.

But all too rarely do I take time to consider what comes after my meal, when food all too often becomes garbage and garbage all too often turns into trash. While this is perhaps a less “sexy” component of the sustainable food cycle, it is an important one nonetheless. As I stood in the store and pondered all this, I quickly arrived at an impulse decision. I bought the compost kit.

A few days have passed since I made that purchase. At first setting up the compost bin in my yard was admittedly a challenge, largely because I had no idea what I was doing and no expectation of whether it would work. But the bin has quickly turned into an excellent and efficient way for disposing many of the fruits and veggies that my family consumes – and for doing so in a highly eco-friendly manner.

My new composting practice has helped me become more cognizant of what I do with my food after I eat it. I’ve taken to saving all leftovers, even when only a small amount of food remains. I’ve started cleaning out my recyclable materials more thoroughly, just to insure that they won’t get rejected by the recycling plant and deferred to a landfill. And, finally, I’ve started paying extra attention to my trash bin. What food products or by-products am I throwing out? How can this amount be reduced?

I hope that my vigilance continues. While going green in your food preparation is certainly half the battle, it’s just as important to cover that second half – and dispose of your meals in an environmentally-friendly manner.

I’m on vacation this week, hanging out with my extended family in a cabin in South Carolina.

If you haven’t seen this awesome show yet, be sure to check out the Mama Natural Show! It’s a fun, newsy vlog that keeps you updated on the latest in the natural mothering community without taking up a lot of your time (her shows are minutes long, and unlike most video I’ve seen online, actually enjoyable to watch!)

Her 21st episode mentioned yours truly.

Fun stuff, and Genevieve is a great gal. I’ve found a new favorite site!

I have a little bit to say about a whole lot of topics again, but not enough to make an entire blog post. I think it’s all my brain can manage, what, with building a new human being and all.

Besides, all I would talk about is food and that’s kind of boring. Good thing most of you are busy this week. Feel free to skip.

I have a love hate relationship with food at the moment. I am starving all day but when I put food in my mouth it kind of sticks there and turns to sand. I chew and chew and chew and have to force myself to swallow it. Then I have the weird sensation that something is stuck in the back of my throat and won’t budge.

Gross.

Right now I’m eating Elevensies. I’ve already had breakfast and second breakfast. I start eating at 4 or 5 AM. I get up, grab whatever is easy and go back to bed. I wake up an hour later and eat again.

By then my sweet husband is up and he runs to get me a steak biscuit. Because I have to eat before I cook breakfast.

I’ve turned Hobbit.

My guest this week is David Luks of Honeydrop beverages.

Honeydrop offers delicious, fresh brewed all natural teas sweetened only with honey.

We’re talking about the recent controversy over honey: how you can avoid buying “fake” honey, why honey from China is not real honey at all (and why this matters to you), why honey is superior to refined sweeteners and artificial sweeteners, and how Honeydrop ensures that the honey that goes into their product is the real deal.

I got a chance to try the Ginger-Lemon flavor and it was awesome! You can find Honeydrop teas in natural food stores such as Whole Foods and they’re also available to order online.

To listen, just click on the grey play button below.

P.S. a recent listener told me she has been having trouble with the audio player. If you’re having difficulties listening, please let me know in the comments so I can troubleshoot!

Get Your Kids Interested In Going Green

Nearly everyone these days is interested in reducing their carbon footprint. As Americans we tend to overindulge and use and waste more than is ever necessary. While the concept of “going green” has definitely started to set in with older generations, younger kiddos still struggle with understanding wind and solar energy and what it truly means to live sustainably. To help them get more interested in going green, parents should consider doing some of the following with their kids:

photo credit: krossbow

Show Them How to Recycle

One of the predominate reasons why kids don’t recycle on a regular basis is simply because they don’t fully understand how. Most only see soda cans or bottles as being recyclable. So that they can better grasp how much of their daily waste can actually be recycled, take the time to show your kids what to recycle and how to recycle if your area requires that your recyclables be sorted out. Not only will they learn a valuable lesson, but they will quickly feel like they are doing something important which is always a great way to create lasting habits.

Demonstrate What Reduce Actually Means

Kids are notorious for using more than they need – your toilet paper roll can probably attest to that. Kiddos simply have a hard time gauging how much of something they are usually generally until it is too late. However, if you can show them ways to avoid overusing items, such as plastic wrap for that lunchbox sandwich, it will create life long using habits that will help them be more green adults.

A great way to spark a child’s interest in reducing is by turning it into a game. Lay out items and ask your child to complete a task, such as packing their lunch, with as few disposables as possible. You can also ask them to create fun little art projects with minimal supplies, proving to them that they can create something beautiful without using an entire tub of glitter or bottle of glue. The important thing is to actually show them how little they can get by on.

Create At-Home Projects to Inspire Reusing

One of the best ways to get your kiddos interested in reusing is by creating at-home projects. By showing your kids that everyday garbage items and other recyclables can be turned in to works of art or other useful items, they will not only be more inclined to reuse but they will also be more inclined to think outside the box. So go ahead and try a few at-home projects including:

• A quilt made out of old t-shirts
• Decorating reusable grocery bags
• Water tornadoes out of 2-liter soda bottles

Going green isn’t something that just parents need to do for the environment, it is something that we all need to do if we want to successfully create more sustainable and lasting generations. By teaching your kiddos the importance of reducing, reusing, and recycling at a young age, they will create lasting green habits that they can build upon to become responsible and eco-friendly adults in the future.

A smattering of thoughts that are too long for Twitter, but too short for a blog post.

photo credit: Mervi Eskelinen

On Cravings

The cravings have begun. Previously it was steak. Moe’s steak burritos. This morning it was orange juice, with a side of sausage. I remember having this one in my last pregnancy. I never buy or drink juice normally. Seriously I think the last time I had a glass of juice was when I did a juice fast several months ago.

For the past 2 days I craved OJ so badly I thought I might tear someone’s eyes out if I didn’t get some. Hubby went this morning to get some for me. He’s so sweet. But get this.  He left the house before 7 this morning to get me a sausage and egg biscuit which I also had to have, along with said juice. He forgot the juice. And the biscuit had no egg. I tried not to look too disappointed. He went back out to get me both the forgotten juice and a sausage and egg biscuit.

Did he win husband of the year award with that move, or what?

(And as I write this just now I realize maybe I need iron, because steak/sausage (meat) plus vitamin C = iron absorption. Hmm. Makes perfect sense.)

On Sharing

The only time I do not share food with my greedy grabby-hands lovely offspring is when I’m pregnant.  I politely explain to them that I’m already sharing with the baby inside me and resist the urge to plant a fork in the back of their hands.

Does anyone else feel this protective of their food when they’re pregnant?

On 6 Year Old Nutritionists

My 6 year old daughter keeps chiding me on what I’m eating. It’s funny to see the shoe on the other foot, her always lecturing me about what’s good nutrition. For instance yesterday, I had a hankering (that’s Southern for craving, y’all) for chocolate chip cookies. (Until I had one, then they were gross.)

We rarely eat sugar around here, and it’s a treat if we bake banana bread or pumpkin muffins or something. But I asked oldest to make some chocolate chip cookies, and he did.

“Mom, I don’t think the baby should eat chocolate chip cookies.”

Today I was out running errands and got ravenous before we got home, so I went through Taco Bell (every pregnant woman’s favorite, somewhere I would never normally eat) to grab a bean burrito. And a small Dr. Pepper. (I don’t drink soft drinks normally either!)

“Mom, Dr. Pepper is not good for the baby. It’s not healthy and we want him to be healthy.”

She’s been lecturing me for two days.

On Firstborns

I honestly don’t know what I would do without my oldest child. He is my right hand man.

He is my brains, remembering things that I forget (like the groceries in the back of the car, which would have melted into a big lump on this warm day). He is my feet, often running inside stores to do quick errands for me while I stay with the other kids in the car. He is even clued in to my emotional state. If he knows I’m having a bad day, he has been known to offer to brew me tea and can be heard warning the other kids to not talk back, do their chores or be quiet.

I don’t know what I would do without him.

Anyone else feel this way about their oldest?

Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the… less you puke?

When I read about Karen Hurd and her “Bean Cure” on Life in a Shoe, I almost tracked down my husband then and there to see if I could get pregnant and test it out.

What if the months and months of vomiting and unrelenting, 24/7 nausea I felt in all my pregnancies was as easy to fix as… eating beans?

Oddly, I often craved Mexican food while I was pregnant, and it always made me feel better. I chalked it up to the steak. (Welcome to Moe’s!) But perhaps it was really the beans!

11/27/2011

I took a pregnancy test first thing this morning and it was positive. I ate beans several times today.

According to Karen, the nausea a pregnant woman feels is due to the hCG’s impact on bile production. (hCG is that handy dandy hormone that you test for when you pee on a stick.) hCG is responsible for sustaining the pregnancy. That’s why women who experience nausea are less likely to miscarry – it’s a sign of “good strong hormones”.

hCG increases bile flow. It’s the bile that makes you feel sick. What’s worse, as bile picks up more toxins in your body (that’s its job, by the way, to help you digest fats and clean out your innards), those toxins kind of keep flowing through, making you feel worse and worse.

From Karen Hurd’s website:

“Bile is used in the digestion of the fats that we eat. Bile is also the vehicle that the liver uses to rid the body of fat-soluble toxins.”

The fix?

Eat beans.

Beans contain a lot of soluble fiber, which BIND to the nasty bile and take it out, courtesy of your poo. Pooping isn’t particularly easy during pregnancy thanks to our other friend progesterone, which slooooooows everything doooooown. This is so your body can get the maximum “oomph” from the food you eat, but it also has the effect of making you constipated. Beans can help with that too!

What kind of beans clean the bile and help pregnancy nausea?

“They are pinto beans, kidney beans, garbanzo beans, white beans, navy beans, black beans, lentils, split peas, black-eyed peas, and lima beans, to name just a few. Legumes are not green beans, wax beans, or soy beans.”

(From this page on Karen Hurd’s website, about gallbladders. Also highly recommended reading. By the way if you’re curious about Karen Hurd, her education and credentials, you can find that info on her website.)

As soon as the nausea hit me this time (literally the day after I got a positive pregnancy test) I started eating beans. I usually feel better within minutes.

Y’all might be thinking this is the placebo effect. Honey, I DON’T CARE. If it works it works. Besides, during my pregnancies I’ve tried every “morning sickness” remedy known. None of them worked for me. Some took the edge off a little, but nothing made me feel instantly better like eating beans has.

By this point, I’ve been eating beans about 6 times a day for 3 weeks. Honestly they’re about the last thing I desire. But beans have become my friend because they really do help.

The nausea gets pretty bad if I go too long without beans. My mouth keeps filling up with spit the way it does before you vomit. Except I’m not vomiting. I keep hoping this isn’t because I’m not far enough along yet to start puking, and is because of the action of the beans. I’ve never NOT vomited at this point in a pregnancy.

So, to recap:

• Pregnancy makes you produce hCG
• hCG makes you  produce more bile
• Extra bile makes you nauseated
• Dirty, recirculating bile makes you even more sick
• Soluble fiber in beans binds to bile
• Bile is pooped out with soluble fiber
• Beans have far more soluble fiber than other foods
• Eat beans = cleaner bile, less bile = less nausea!

The page on gallbladder disease recommends eating 3 cups of beans daily, spread out into 6 1/2 cup servings. The point of this is to keep the soluble fiber in the body at all times so it can soak up and bind with the dirty bile. Eventually there will be only clean bile!

I’ve been eating beans as soon as I wake up (around 5 am), then again every time I eat. I eat about 1/4 – 1/2 cup at a time. When I run errands, I take a commuter coffee cup and… fill it with beans.

I bought Katie’s Everything Beans book to get more ideas on incorporating beans into my meal planning. It’s fine to just sit down with a bowl of beans, thankfully I love beans. But as the pregnancy progresses and my food aversions get stronger, it will be more difficult, I’m sure.

Here are a few more tips for eating beans for pregnancy nausea:

• Try a variety of beans. I’ve found that my favorite is pintos. If I eat one variety too often I begin to develop an aversion and eating them isn’t as pleasant. So mix it up. Limas, blackeyed peas, butter beans, white beans, black beans, kidney beans, pintos… there are plenty to try.
• Add spice. I find that a dash of Tabasco makes my early morning beans much more palatable.
• Hummus. Buy the plain (no garlic) variety and nosh on raw veggies and pita chips.
• Skip the onions and garlic. While the addition of those two ingredients normally makes beans yummy, most pregnant women are sensitive to them during the first few months.
• Hide the beans. Eat them with chili, with huevos rancheros, in soups, in pasta (blend them with sauces), even in brownies! Yes, you can hide black beans in brownies. There’s a recipe in the Everything Beans books! I bet you could even hide white beans in a smoothie.
• Add chips. The salty and crispy crunch of a tortilla chip to scoop up beans gets them down a little easier.
• Legumes, le fumes? If you’re worried about gas, get over it. Pregnant women fart a lot anyway. Your body will adjust to the extra beans in a day or two. And you can reduce the gassiness by soaking your beans for 24 hours and cooking them slowly in a slow cooker.
• Just do it. Force yourself to eat them if you have to. Distract yourself. I often eat my beans while I’m reading or browsing something interesting online. I promise you’ll feel better. Isn’t it better than vomiting?

At this point in my pregnancies I was nearly incapacitated with severe nausea and vomiting. I didn’t leave the house for weeks, cooking was almost impossible, forget cleaning or keeping to any kind of schedule. The bean thing is definitely helping me. I wish I could say that it’s a cure, and Karen Hurd seems to imply that it is on her website, but it isn’t – at least not for me. I still have nausea in the background 24 hours a day, and sometimes it’s severe, but eating beans makes me feel better. I’m able to clean, cook and do school with the kids. This is a definite blessing for me!

Another bonus about beans: the constipation that plagues many women during their pregnancy? Let’s just say that it is definitely NOT an issue when you’re eating all these beans!

Have you heard about eating beans for pregnancy nausea? Did you try it? What else helped you deal with pregnancy nausea and vomiting?

photo credit: Evil Erin

Our Green Moms Weekly topic this week is our first about pregnancy.

The question:

“What are some of the highs and lows during your first trimester of pregnancy and how have you dealt with them?”

This is an easy one for me because I don’t have to go by memory to write this! Interestingly, all of these first trimester complaints seem to have a protective effect. I’ll explain more later.

Nausea and Vomiting

I don’t call it “morning sickness”, because for me it was always bad at night and I had it all day long, as do many women. Nor do I call it “first trimester sickness” because for some women like myself, it lasts for several months or the length of the pregnancy. I mention it first because it’s probably the most common pregnancy woe, and perhaps the most debilitating when it’s bad. I’m actually working on a very long, comprehensive post right now about how I’m dealing with it this go around, look for that tomorrow!  For now I’ll just tease you and say that eating beans helps nausea. And I’ve tried everything there is to try, from meds to natural remedies, and nothing has helped as much as eating beans. More later!

Sensitivity to Smells

This is one of the first early pregnancy symptoms I experience.  Things that I normally wouldn’t notice now have me running outside or hanging my head out the window for fresh air. I believe this is an important mechanism to help protect a pregnant woman from things that could hurt her unborn child. For instance, natural smells like citrus and essential oils don’t bother me in the least. But any synthetic fragrance in cosmetic products or odors of rot or waste (diapers, trash, dirty kitchen smells) have me dry heaving and fleeing the scene.

I deal with it by trying to avoid bad odors as much as possible. We move the coffee pot downstairs so my husband can brew it without triggering my nausea. I make sure to go to bed with a clean kitchen so there is no rotting food or dirty dishes lying around in the morning. I throw away food that’s “iffy” even though it’s probably perfectly fine to eat. Hubby or one of the kids changes Ruby’s diaper, and I keep the toilet extra clean so I can’t smell it.

Cooking odors are especially difficult. I’ve been asking other people to cook breakfast when I’m feeling bad. I stop using garlic and onions in my cooking. I use the slow cooker more, and I since bacon makes me sickest of all, we just don’t cook it at all when I’m pregnant.

All of this probably protects a pregnant woman from things that could possibly harm her baby such as toxins in food and the air around her. I find myself running outside a lot to take deep breaths too, which is also a good habit for anyone!

And I have another trick: peppermint oil. I dab a drop of it right under my nose when I’m forced to deal with a stinky odor. It has the effect of numbing or blocking my sense of smell temporarily. (Have you noticed how the forensic people put camphor under their nose when they’re doing work with dead bodies? Same thing.) You can also put a drop of your favorite essential oil on a cotton ball and keep it with you in a container in your purse so you can whiff it when you need to.

Sleepiness and Fatigue

First trimester sleepiness is crazy, isn’t it? I can take naps an hour after I wake up from a nap. I go to bed at 8 PM these days. Making a new human is hard work, especially in the first trimester when you’re building a placenta and creating all that extra blood. Doing your best to rest whenever possible is important. But don’t neglect exercise either. I’ve been feeling good enough to take my daily walk, and it really helps me have more energy.  Drink water. If it’s hard for you because it tastes bad (blech, I have to force water down when I’m pregnant because it tastes so bad), try adding a lemon, lime or orange wedge.

Food Aversions and Cravings

The other day I found myself eating sauerkraut and a milkshake. Pretty stereotypical! Seriously though, catering to the newly pregnant belly can be almost a full time job. I find that I get low blood sugar a lot in my pregnancy, as evidenced by increased nausea, strong hunger pangs, and dizziness. It’s important to snack and eat several small meals a day. Be sure to get enough protein to avoid preeclampsia (Dr. Tom Brewer has written a lot of the increased protein needs of pregnant women.).

If it’s hard to get your protein, try smoothies. The consistency and coldness and icy crunch seems to be very satisfying to the pregnant palate. You can sneak in protein powder or peanut butter or cottage cheese or kefir or whatever else that has protein that you can stomach.

Of course, take your vitamins to help you avoid deficiencies that may lead to crazy cravings. If they make you sick, try kid’s gummy vitamins. And just go with it, within reason. I believe that the food aversions and cravings, again, may protect a fetus in some way. If something you eat and normally love is suddenly revolting, and you’re craving things you rarely eat, perhaps your body is trying to prevent imbalances by forcing you to vary your diet more. When I’m pregnant, I can’t stand many things that I love normally but I crave things like steak and crunchy raw veggies. I probably need those foods. Steak is a great source of protein and B vitamins, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with crunchy raw veggies!

Bitter/Metallic Taste in Mouth

Does anyone else have this in early pregnancy? It takes me until I’m about 5 months pregnant before things taste normal again, and I still don’t have normal taste buds until I deliver the baby. It’s quite frustrating for food to taste bad in your mouth, especially when you’re so hungry and have to eat more often!

I deal with it by brushing my teeth and scraping my tongue more often, sipping on water with lemon a lot, and chewing all natural gum (with no artificial sweeteners. I buy Glee gum, made from natural chicle). The nasty taste is so bad that during my pregnancy I develop halitophobia (the fear that I have bad breath even when I don’t).

Heartburn

Heartburn must be related to hormones, because I always get it early in the pregnancy. Obviously my uterus isn’t big enough to be cramping my stomach. Dealing with heartburn is pretty easy. Eat small meals frequently. Nibble on dried papaya and pineapple. The enzymes present in those two fruits helps immediately. Avoid caffeine (which you’re probably doing anyway).  Sipping mint tea helps some people too. Try a little lemon in your water.

What are some of your favorite first trimester natural remedies?

A smattering of things I’ve enjoyed this past week…

• A Little Perspective by Backwoods Mom
• Tribal Mainstream and Self-Sabotage – or,  why our healthy habits disappear when we’re with family
• Remember The Dog That Doesn’t Bark – how often are you thankful for what doesn’t happen?
• ZombieMommy is giving away tickets to the Atlanta Botanical Gardens. Enter if you’re interested in winning!

Yesterday, I prayed for the sun to come out. Literally.

Today, it did.

The rain and grey was getting to me. When it lifted, I didn’t even know it had stopped. I just knew that suddenly I felt better, as if an elephant had removed itself from my chest.

Today I went outside with a blanket wrapped around me and sat on a plastic rhinoceros in my driveway. I turned it to face the sun, closed my eyes, and sat. Trying to reset myself.

Like a lizard.

I’m happy about this pregnancy, but I was hoping for it to happen a few months from now, so that I wouldn’t be going through the first trimester fog in the worst part of the year (for me).

One thing I’m thankful for: that the horrible, crippling nausea and vomiting I suffered with my other pregnancies is not with me this time. I have just enough nausea so that I’m not worried about my hormones being strong (that, and it took .005 seconds for the double pink line to show up on the test on the 28th day of my last cycle).

Nap. Sleep. Nap. Sleep.

Sing songs about Mr. Sun to Ruby. (An incantation?)

Linking up with just write.

I don’t celebrate Christmas.

But, once a year my family gets together, usually around my sis and BIL and parent’s anniversaries, and we exchange gifts.

This year I decided to do homemade gifts.

(Since my mom and sister read my blog, I’m going to now ask these two to stop here. Spoiler alert!)

Why homemade gifts?

Several reasons.

Homemade gifts are special. Anyone can go to the store and pick out a gift they think their loved one will like. It takes more time to make something by hand. And it has your love and attention in it.

Homemade gifts are simpler. Why? They often are consumable, so they won’t clutter up the recipient’s home. You can make them at home, so there’s no running to overcrowded stores to shop. (Something I absolutely despise.)

Homemade gifts are frugal. Typically you can make something useful or yummy at home for a fraction of the cost of buying it. This is an important consideration these days for many.

Here are a few homemade gift ideas:

•  Homemade jellies, jams, apple butter. This year I’m cooking up several batches of Cranberry Apple Butter (recipe from a local restaurant that’s a favorite of my family, The Flying Biscuit).  This stuff is beyond amazing on toast or biscuits.

• Homemade natural skin care products. This summer when my family went to Tybee Island, we found a locally made salt scrub in all the restaurants and shops. I’m going to try to recreate it at home. I love how soft it made my hands, and adding a little lemon means it gets kitchen odors off your skin. Since I’m a bit addicted to MadeOn Hard Lotion, I bought her kit and DIY instruction ebook and am going to make lotion bars and lip balm for my family too.
• Homemade herbal first aid. I am borrowing a recipe from The Rhythm of Family for slippery elm lozenges. These are wonderful all natural sore throat/cough remedies. My family is crunchy like me so I know they’ll appreciate these this winter when they get a tickle in their throat.

I found a ton of awesome ideas for homemade gifts (with recipes) at CrunchyBetty’s site too.

What do you think about homemade gifts? Have any more suggestions?

photo credit: crabchick

When Ruby was born, we outgrew our family car. My Toyota Sienna, which has been a wonderful and extremely reliable car, only seated 7.

During my pregnancy we started saving for a larger vehicle.

Debt is not an option for our family.

We are committed to living a debt free lifestyle avoiding all debt and doing things on a cash basis. During my pregnancy we attended Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University and learned about his “drive free” plan. We became ever more determined to delay gratification, save for our needs and not incur debt.

Car payments keep people in slavery to a depreciating liability. Cars are not an asset. Assets make you money (investments, businesses, etc). Cars are a liability. Cars cost money. Simple. There are plenty of people who say “You’re always gonna have a car payment”, but those people are mired in a poverty mentality. Also, they’re wrong.

(They also go around saying things like “The little man just can’t get ahead”, and other vapid statements that reflect their own lack of personal responsibility, personal growth and self discipline.)

Research show that the people in this country with the highest net worth buy high quality, late model used cars. They let someone else take the huge depreciation hit when you drive the new car off the lot. They save thousands and always drive something nice. But don’t take my word for it. Just read any of Thomas J. Stanley’s books for the proof.

We felt confident that we would have enough cash saved for a nice, new to us used car by the time the baby was a couple of months old.

But, my husband had a great year in his business and even our accountant was shocked at how much we owed the tax man. Our savings was wiped out. We could have let this get us down, but instead we viewed it as a blessing that we were able to stroke a check and pay our taxes!

We kept saving money any way we could. We had a yard sale, sold a bunch of unneeded stuff on eBay and Craigslist, and stuck to our budget.

I made a large poster that we put on the wall and every time we made a deposit into our savings, we added another peak to the graph. It was motivating to watch it go up and up.

Two weeks ago, we CUT A CHECK and drove this baby home:

It is an indescribably great feeling to have a very nice new to us car that meets our needs, emergency fund savings still in the bank, and NO DEBT. I’m so proud of my husband and myself for having patience, diligence and staying the course to meet our goals.

Of course, life is full of sweet irony. We found out a week ago that we will need to upgrade in several months. To a 9 seater.

This week’s Green Moms Weekly post has to do with a topic that’s an old favorite for many:

Cloth Diapering.

“What do you say to people who can’t wrap their head around the cloth diapering phenomena? Give some simple and positive examples of how cloth diapering can benefit both mom and baby.”

When many people think of cloth diapering, they envision large cotton diapers that must be folded and pinned on, and “rubber pants” to go on top, and the inevitable toilet dunking.

The truth is that the cloth diapers most modern parents use are quite high tech. They use snaps, not pins. They feature fabrics that dry quickly and feel dry against baby’s skin. And there is no reason to dunk a diaper in the toilet if you don’t want to. Using cloth diaper liners or a diaper sprayer eliminate the need for this.

As for cloth diapers being complicated, well… my 13 year old, 10 year old and 8 year old all change diapers occasionally. It couldn’t be that difficult.

Cloth diapering actually makes your life simpler in a couple of ways.

The joy of big brothers

Fewer trips to the store. There’s no “running out” of cloth diapers. You simply start a load and wash them when your stash looks small. Unless you are without a washer and dryer, this saves you another errand.

Breastfeeding confidence. When I did work as a breastfeeding counselor, I was sometimes frustrated when I asked a mom how many diapers her little one was producing. This is a good way of measuring “output” and restoring a mom’s confidence that she indeed does have enough milk. But with disposables, it’s difficult for a mom to tell how many times baby has wet.

When you cloth diaper a newborn, you may change that baby a dozen times a day. There is no doubt of adequate milk supply when you are doing that, because what comes out must have gone in! But with disposable diapers, a baby can wet a few times without mom changing her. Besides the grossness factor of a baby sitting around in urine far longer than it needs to, this can undermine breastfeeding success. Mom thinks baby isn’t getting enough, supplements with formula, which then does lower her supply, and then weans. It’s self fulfilling prophecy.

Less rash. Cloth diapered babies almost always get less rash. (If they get rash, it’s usually because of the detergent used to wash them, and easily remedied by using something with no fragrance or additives.)

Ruby happens to have the most sensitive skin of my other babies, but the only time she has gotten a tiny bit rashy was when she wore a diaper too long (i.e, when she’s with Daddy for a few hours!). Letting her run around commando for awhile takes care of it.

I’ve never worn a disposable diaper. Well, except that one time my water broke in the middle of the night and I needed something to put in my undies to catch the leaking.

But, I DO wear cloth menstrual pads, and I can tell you that they FEEL and SMELL sooooo much nicer than disposable pads. It follows that cloth diapers must feel more comfy than disposables. Cloth lets your skin “breathe”, which results in less odor and less rash.

Cloth diapered babies train younger. This is an often overlooked benefit of cloth diapering, but to me it’s no small thing. Studies, and the experience of millions of cloth diapering moms tell us that cloth diapered babies potty train several months earlier than babies in disposable diapers.

Changing a 3 year old’s diaper is something I’ve never experienced, nor do I want to. It’s quite telling that (that evil contraption invented by the devil commonly known as) PullUps go up to a size 5T.

Somewhere around 15 months of age, my cloth diapered babies began pulling their diaper off when they were wet or in some other way communicating that they wanted to be free of the diaper when it was wet. Ruby has been doing this for months. And all of my babies were potty trained at age 2.

Of course, I haven’t even mentioned that cloth diapers are far more economical, better for the environment.

It baffles me that some find cloth diapering gross. The selective squeamishness and irrationality of this is plain. Which is more gross? Putting human excrement in the toilet or sewer system, or putting it in the TRASH?

Enough said.

Check out what the other Green Moms are saying about cloth diapers and:

Rachel on Why Cloth Diaper?

Here are some of the best posts from Decembers of yesteryear…

2006

• An interview with the authors of Mommy Guilt
• Hmm… what is baby thinking about in utero? An interview with a prenatal psychologist

2007

• 12 tips for lowering your grocery budget. This article is 4 years old, but I was surprised at how relevant the advice still is.
• Interview with Kristen Chase of Motherhood Uncensored and now, 4orMoreKids

2008

• I get on my soapbox about why it’s not selfish or bad to want alone time occasionally
• When I was 10 years old, I knew everything there was to know about how to be a great Mom. I even had a list.

I love Evernote.

I use it for so many things now that I don’t know how I lived without it before.

One of the reasons I love Evernote is this:

It eliminates paper clutter.

While working through the projects in Simple Mom’s 52 Bites ebook, I realized that a handheld scanner combined with Evernote would make eliminating files and other paper clutter a cinch.

I splurged on a Doxie scanner. (Why the Doxie and not some other? Because with Doxie, you can scan papers directly into your Evernote account. Cool huh?!)

The first paper clutter I tackled?

My recipes. I wrote here about how my recipes were … um, not working.

It took a couple of hours, but now my recipes are ALL scanned and neatly organized in my Evernote account. When it’s time for me to do my meal plan, I simply open Evernote and search around.  I can search by ingredient if I have something I need to use up or if there’s a really great deal at the store I want to take advantage of.

Declutter your cookbooks.

How many of us just plain have too many cookbooks? Here’s the thing. I only had about 6 when I started this process, and I actually DID use them all (I already got rid of the ones I didn’t in another decluttering mission.) BUT.

How many recipes in those cookbooks do we actually use?

In my case, it was around 5 – 10%, tops. In other words, if a cookbook had 200 recipes, I might actually use 10 of those. If I hadn’t experimented and cooked the other recipes because they were too complicated, had ingredients my family doesn’t enjoy, too time consuming, too expensive, or for whatever reason just didn’t appeal… why keep them?

Here’s a compelling reason not to keep cookbooks.

Mice.

Yikes, I can’t believe I’m telling the internets this, but last winter we had a pregnant mouse move in. Like a good little mammal she was eager to begin making her nest, so she went around the house looking for good material to use. Paper was one of her favorite things.

It just so happened that my cookbooks, which are both paper and flavored with splatters of food and grease (as cookbooks tend to do when they are used…) became the nightly hotspot. We could actually hear her tearing and chewing at my cookbooks in the middle of the night.

Gross.

It was somewhat painful to have to throw out expensive cookbooks, but what can you do? This is one of the reasons clutter is evil: because it attracts vermin. Cockroaches also love to eat paper, and since cookbooks are nicely “flavored”, my guess is that they would contribute to a problem there too.

I recently got rid of a couple more cookbooks because I was only using a handful of the recipes. I neatly tore them out, and scanned them into Evernote.

Enough about that.

Onto office and other household paper.

Some paper is inevitable. Tax receipts come to mind. Social security cards, marriage licenses, divorce and custody papers… I’m not suggesting you toss this stuff. But what about things like cool articles you cut out of magazines, or product manuals, or medical and health records?

Scan them! Firstly, I don’t keep product manuals because they’re always available online somewhere. Always. But I did have some articles that I actually used, like that one about how to cut your kid’s hair. I would refer back to it periodically, so I scanned it, and now it’s safe forever in Evernote.

Since my business is online and therefore digital, I almost never have actual paper receipts. But on the rare occasion that I do, my accountant told me that it’s perfectly copasetic to keep a scanned copy, not the paper one. (Ask yours before taking my advice, please.) This seems safer to me anyway, because paper is subject to fire, mold, water damage, and fading. In fact just a few months ago, I had to throw away some tax records I kept in the basement because they were completely unreadable, due to mold. Yikes.

This is what’s working for me. All of my paper files fit into one small portable half empty file cabinet.

To-do lists, brain dumps, and other uses for paper.

I used to think that I was a big paper person and that I would never use something digital to take notes, make to – do lists, brain dumps and other personal growth/productivity uses.

I’m actually finding that it isn’t true. Using paper notebooks has always been a mixed bag for me. While I love physically writing out a to do list, especially if I’m feeling overwhelmed, I was always losing the list, or having it destroyed somehow (and then forgetting those important ideas!) or having to type it out anyway (as in the case of blog post ideas).

I actually have more peace of mind now that I keep things digital.

As an example, shopping lists. How many times have you gotten to the store and forgotten your list? Now, I never do because it’s right inside my phone. For places I go to rarely, like IKEA, it’s even more important, because once I get in there I get overwhelmed.

I keep separate Evernote notebooks for various projects. I have one for each of my websites, for instance. I can easily add long term goals or ideas for blog posts or whatever, without worrying about losing my ideas due to the problems with paper. For things like blog post ideas, this is actually a time saver in the long run because then I can copy and paste the notes directly into my blog.

If I do get a real hankering for paper and pen, I can always write things out by hand. Then I can scan those handwritten notes into Evernote to save time typing!

You can get an Evernote account for free and it syncs to your laptop/computer, phone and anywhere else you want to put it. I love it!

Do you use Evernote? How has it helped you eliminate paper clutter?

Monday night I joined a dozen or so fellow Atlantans for a meetup at a local coffee shop (that overspilled into a restaurant). We got together to meet Ryan Nicodemus and Joshua Fields Millburn of The Minimalists.

It was fun. But I felt a little like the odd man out.

Everyone there, it seemed, was trying hard to simplify their life. They were “minimalists at heart”, or thought the idea was cute or intriguing, but didn’t know quite how to apply it.

As the evening played on, people shuffled out, and finally there was a small group of 6 of us. I heard stories of tragedy and crisis that made people want to make changes in their life. A desire to figure out what’s important motivated them.

In my case, I already know what’s truly important. I always have.

Perhaps it’s because of my religious background (Jesus was certainly a minimalist when he walked the earth), or because of my upbringing, but I’ve been a minimalist since I was a child.

I was describing myself as a minimalist before I knew it was a “thing”.  Minimalism has enabled me to do things that many other people think are… well, a little nuts.

But that’s kind of the point.

Last night Joshua kept saying, “It’s not really about the stuff.” Meaning that everyone knows how to get rid of clutter. The bigger question is why they don’t. What are the emotions attached to the stuff? And what is it you really want?

I know what I really want. I want to focus on my family. I want a peaceful, unstressful life.  I don’t want a visually cluttered home, or a cluttered schedule. I don’t want to spend a lot of time cleaning stuff, moving stuff around, packing stuff up. I would rather grab a kid or two and read a great book. Or cook something for my family.

And so I have carved that out for myself.

It’s funny. When people find out that I have 6 children, and that I homeschool, and run this blog (and other websites), they always say the same thing. “Wow. You’re busy!” And yet, I might be less “busy” than they are. Because I make it that way. I don’t swallow the bitter cultural pill of “busy”. It’s almost like a competition with some people. Do you hear the way they talk about it? About how busy they are, as if it was something to be proud of?

Keeping life simple has made having a large family fun instead of stressful. It’s made homeschooling possible. It’s also given me a husband who is able to support our family without killing himself working 70, 80 hours a week.

I offer:

How To Be a Minimalist Parent

1. Rethink everything society has taught you about what kids “need”.

“A newborn baby has only three demands. They are warmth in the arms of its mother, food from her breasts, and security in the knowledge of her presence. Breastfeeding satisfies all three.” –

Grantly Dick-Read, author of Childbirth Without Fear

A lot of what we think kids need in order to be happy and well adjusted is simply this: what we can afford to give them. But is that really true?

Children don’t need Nintendo.  They don’t need TV (we haven’t had cable or TV for years). They don’t need iPods and other gadgets that let them be alone even while with the family.

They need parents who are available and engaged (enough). They don’t need a lot of extracurricular activities. They do need plenty of time – preferably, several hours a day – to just be kids and play. (And I’m talking about doing their own thing play, not adult directed play. That doesn’t count!)

Think back to your own childhood, if it was a happy one. What did you have? What did you need?

Children need freedom within proper boundaries. They need a consistent full time caregiver. Hopefully this is their own imperfect mom. They don’t need their own bedroom or expensive wardrobes.They need healthy, home cooked food (at least most of the time).

Kids need parents who enjoy being parents, who find their kids charming because they’ve taken the time to make them so. (Meaning if you don’t like your kids and enjoy their company, it’s your own fault.)

2) When you need stuff, try to borrow it. Then, get rid of it as soon as you don’t need it.

When you have kids, clutter seems to be attracted to your home. I find that I have to beat it back constantly. Of course, when you have children you do need more stuff than when you don’t have kids. But you can always get the stuff you need, then get rid of it as soon as its purpose is extinguished. Saving stuff for subsequent children isn’t always a good idea. I list some of the reasons why here.

I have a penchant for books. But this year I’ve gotten rid of a ton (notice empty bookshelves in the picture above), only keeping books that I refer to regularly and books that the kids read over and over. We get books from the library, and I download them to my Nook.

A word about toys: Kids will love and play with their toys more when they have less. Choose a few classic, well made toys that don’t do anything on their own. Wooden blocks, LEGO, board games are the big hits here. My girls play with their dolls, and they draw and read a lot. Mostly we talk, go outside, spend time playing with the baby.

Don’t hold on to stuff that drags on your energy even if it’s valuable. I recently got rid of all my kid’s off season/hand me down clothing, and I love the feeling I still get from that.

People will give you lots of stuff when you have kids, which is a blessing. It’s also a curse, especially if they don’t understand your need for minimalism, and the life values you’re trying to teach your children. Don’t feel guilty about getting rid of stuff that you don’t need. Bless someone else with it. Giving is relinquishing ownership (at least, it should be). Therefore, if someone gives you something, what you do with it after that is your business.

3) Slow down. Do less. BE more.

If you have to keep some kind of complicated system to keep up with your and your kid’s appointments, maybe you have too much going on.

Just like organizing is simple when you have only the necessities, living a life in harmony with your highest values is easy when you don’t have a jam packed schedule. Any parent to babies and toddlers can tell you that they don’t like to rush around running errands and such. What’s less commonly known is that older kids don’t like it either.

The system we live in is designed to keep people so distracted, stressed and “busy” that they don’t connect with one another (much less their Creator). It’s possible to unsubscribe from all that.

More:

A simple kind of mom

Minimalist parenting (great tips about handling gift giving).

Attachment parenting and minimalism

Simple beauty

What do you think? Do you lean towards minimalism in your parenting? Why do you think the “simple life” is growing in popularity?

I had to google “bi-weekly”, because I’ve never been sure whether it meant “every two weeks” or “twice a week”. Turns out, in the US the word bi-weekly means “every two weeks”, but if you live in the UK, it means “twice a week”. (So the UK folks should say “bi-fortnightly” instead.)

Just a little trivia for you there.

For as long as I’ve been a homemaker, I’ve done my meal planning and grocery shopping once a week. Don’t most people?

A couple of months ago however, I decided to switch to twice a month. Why?

Honestly, I just wanted to run around less.

Because I shop at 2 grocery stores (ALDI for most stuff, one other store for specialty items and deals), sometimes 3 (the health food store), that ends up being several errands a week. Running errands is tiring, takes a lot of time out of our day, and the kids are happier when we stay home more.

Since I’ve been doing my meal planning and grocery shopping bi-weekly, I’ve noticed some distinct benefits.

I Save Money

This is a biggie. Something about the “sticker shock” of buying groceries 2 weeks at at time forces me to want to spend less. Every time we go into a store, we’re tempted to buy things we don’t need. Even if it’s a great deal, being in the store more often means I’ll spend more money.

I Waste Less Food

We’re always running out of food by the end of the two weeks. But this makes me become more creative in the kitchen. So I don’t waste as much food. Of course, in the last few days of the bi-weekly period all the fresh fruit is gone, so the kids snack on other things. That’s fine. It’s often raw veggies, tortillas and hummus, or other healthy snacks that last longer in the fridge.

I Save Time

Meal planning two weeks at a time takes a few minutes more than doing it weekly. But anytime you “batch” an activity and do more of the same thing at once, you save time. In other words, it takes me less time to plan 2 bi-weekly menus a month than it does to plan 4 weekly menus a month.

I also save time by not running to the store as often.

How often do you shop and meal plan, and why?

By the way, for those of you who like to use online menu planning services, there’s a new kid on the block called Food On The Table. You can check it out for free. It offers the ability to create menus and shopping lists (printable, or download them to your phone!) – and here’s the coolest part – based on what’s on sale at your favorite grocery store.

Take it for a test spin.

These are a few of my favorite reads from this past week:

- Make your own homemade cream of mushroom soup and avoid those mysterious ingredients.

- Never one to run from controversy, Penelope Trunk shares her thoughts on The Big Lie Homeschoolers Tell. WOW. She’s so right on with this comparison of breastfeeding and homeschooling.

- This article by Meagan about parents who behave obnoxiously in defending their ultra picky nutritional philosophies was spot on. Be sure to read the article she refers to by Michael Pollan as well.

- Speaking of food, I made this slow cooker mashed potatoes recipe and they were UH-MAY-ZING. This entire site is follow worthy for sure. (Although, I would substitute the bouillon cube for either chicken broth (eliminating the equivalent amount of water), or use an “unchicken” cube to avoid MSG.

After what for many people amounts to the biggest eating day of the year, I thought it would be appropriate to post this interview with Funky About Food nutrition expert Lynn Penrose, R.D.

Lynn is a Registered Dietitian and her expertise is in emotional eating and other “funky” issues we have with food. She offers coaching services, vlogs, a newsletter and other help on her site.

I wanted to interview Lynn for the podcast, but we had difficulties getting together, and then experienced technical difficulties once we did connect. Let me know if this topic interests you, and I’ll schedule Lynn again for a show! (And if you have additional questions you’d like me to ask Lynn, please also leave that in the comments.)

We’re talking about emotional eating issues. I don’t need to tell any of you that this is a big issue, especially for us gals. For me personally, coming up on the winter season is a time for major carbohydrate cravings due to winter blues.

Carrie: I’ve heard the term orthorexia more and more online in recent months. While it’s great that we are becoming more educated about nutrition, some can go too far in the other direction. What is orthorexia, and how big of a problem is this becoming?

Lynn: Orthorexia is an obsession with eating healthy foods and takes healthy eating to the extreme.  Someone who suffers with orthorexia believes they are “above” others because their food choices are so righteous.   Their virtuous way of eating offers them a peaceful sense of control.

Someone who suffers with orthorexia believes they are “above” others because their food choices are so righteous. It is a growing problem for two reasons:

• It is a gateway to a full blown eating disorder.
• Children of orthorexics receive the message that their food choices are an appropriate way to derive self-esteem.

C: Why are women more susceptible to “funky food” issues? Does our cycle/hormones have anything to do with it?

Lynn: Absolutely!  Our monthly menstrual cycle plays a MAJOR role in the food choices we make and how we feel in our bodies! We are more susceptible to “funky food” issues because most women are not in sync with how directly connected our food intake is with the changes in our hormone levels.

I teach women how to work along with their cycle, rather than against it because it’s a fact of life! For example:

**Day 1 to 14 our hormone levels are balanced and we experience the following:

- A decrease in appetite; we are easily satiated with “lighter” foods
- Cravings for sugar and salt are lower
- Body image is generally more positive

**Day 14 to 30 our body prepares for a fertilized egg by building a lining of the uterus so this egg can implant itself and grow and we experience the following:

- An increase in appetite; we desire more calorically dense foods
- Temporary fluid shifts results in feelings of weight gain (we believe its “real” and freak out)
- Body Image declines due to increase in stress levels and fluid shifts

The truth about this is that 2 weeks out of the month, we feel ok about our food intake and bodies and the next 2 weeks we feel like we are out of control. Attributing our feelings and intake to shifting hormones is paramount!

(I wrote about this issue here: post ovulation depression. It really is true that “knowledge is power” when it comes to the connection between our cycles and eating!)

C: What can we do as parents to teach our kids healthy eating attitudes and prevent them from having food issues?

Lynn: A healthy eating attitude is eating according to our hunger and fullness signals.  If a parent eats according to these signals, it’s the best way to prevent their child from having food issues.

Too many discussions about healthy and unhealthy or good and bad foods leads the child to think too much about their food choices, which can result in a decreased ability to read the subtle hunger and fullness cues the bodies provides.

C: Do you have any advice for parents of picky eaters?

Lynn: Leave it alone! 

The more focus parents put on a child intake, the more the child may dig their heels in.  Gentle encouragement to try new foods when the moments feel right is indicated.

Thanks Lynn!

If you have more questions about emotional eating or other food issues, please ask in the comments.

My guest this week is Rachel McFadden of HappyGreenBabies. We’re talking about Minimalism and Minimalist Parenting.

You can listen to the show by clicking on the grey audio player below the transcript (at the bottom, just before the comments). Or you can read the transcript below.

Carrie: Today we’re going to be talking about minimalist parenting.

For those of you that have been following the blog for the last few weeks, Rachel is the mom behind the Green Mom’s Weekly post that we’re doing every Monday. So, she is the originator of that and we hope that you guys can all join and link up to her weekly green mom’s post on her blog.

Okay so minimalism.

Rachel: Yeah.

Carrie: It’s definitely becoming a thing online. Like last night, I was doing a little bit of googling because I follow a few minimalist logs, but I was looking for some that were a little bit more geared towards moms and parenting. And I found several that I’ll mention later on, but how would you define minimalism?

Rachel: The simplest thing I can say is a simple life. Simplifying the way that we live, and not cluttering it up with stuff. Enjoying the simple things, and not needing actual “stuff” to make us happy.

C: Yeah, definitely. You know, it’s interesting because ten years ago the buzz word was “organization”. There were all these books, blogs and magazines centered around organization. And then there was a kind of an evolution into simple living and I think people realized, wait a sec. I don’t think we can organize this stuff, we have too much!

You basically defined minimalism as a simple approach to life, making more room for life, having less stuff, less clutter.

Many times when we find websites and blog and ebooks about minimalism we find a single person who has a very…

R: …free life?

C: Yeah! What’s the word I’m looking for? Nomadic! A nomadic lifestyle is enviable, but now that we’ve settled down with a family and children, how can we embrace minimalism?

R: Sometimes we get bogged down… like when I was pregnant with my first, with all of the stuff that consumers feel they have to have to have a baby, that’s getting pushed on them by Babies R Us and all these massive baby stores and you have thousands of items you think you need. For this tiny little baby!

I was kind of the same way. I got all this stuff and realized you don’t need it! What’s more important is spending time with the baby, like what we talk about on Green Moms Weekly – attachment parenting.

My son is beside me, looking for his underwear.

C: Even minimalists have underwear!

R: Exactly. So after having my second child I realized that those things you really don’t need. What’s important is spending time with your baby. Being able to “wear” your baby, co-sleeping for me was one of the simplest things I could have done. It made my life a lot less hectic. The bedtime routine, what i remember with my first, trying to get him to sleep in a crib was never successful. He ended up in our bed anyway. So it just seemed simpler to cut out that whole struggle in life anyway.

C: My first crib was a really, really large … laundry basket.

R: Wow.That’s really cool.

C: Another thing that we mentioned briefly is that minimalism seems to be kind of an offshoot from the organization movement of maybe the 80′s and 90;s. There were so many great books being written, blogs and websites and stuff. There was the Get Things Done (GTD) movement, and all the things that shot out from that.

And then it was about simple living, so it transitioned from organizing to simple living. because I think people just realized, wait a minute, I have too much. Too much stuff, too much running around, too many activities, too much house, too much stuff in the house. I need to simplify it. And now it’s kind of even further trickled down to minimalism. What’s the minimal amount that I can have?

R: … and be happy.

C: Yeah, exactly. I was reading the other day that people buy homes (it was on the Happiness Project, Gretchin Rubin’s website)… people often buy things that they may only need once a year, or they buy a home that will never be full except once a year. They buy for the worst case scenario thing. They don’t get the thing that they need for every day. (It’s called “maximum-use imperative.) The big McMansions for people that have one or two children.

R: And you realize you only use one room…

C: And you’re all in that one room all day long!

R: Exactly. All that extra space! For the big Christmas or Thanksgiving that you don’t really need…

C: And you’d be happy with something smaller that would please you every day, not just that one time.

R: A lot of things I’ve read about organizing and becoming a minimalist is you have less clean up. Which creates less stress in your life. Because the less you have, the less you have to put away.

C: Even things like learning curves, for me with new technology, I go through this kind of mini depression when I have a new phone or something new like that. Getting to know it and getting to work it, it feels like such a waste of time and I resent that change.

R: I know, I know.

C: Some people have to have the latest and greatest gadget all the time and I don’t know how they deal with that.

R: I know! It’s crazy too because with things like that, they go out, they become obsolete so fast! We have the latest and greatest thing this week, and two weeks later you have to get it again… is this really making your life better, to have this thing?

Now having kids, I realize you don’t really need all those things.

C: Well this is a challenge for me personally because I see that frugality and minimalism have some things in common. But at the same time, if you are embracing minimalism, you cannot buy the cheapest thing. You have to go for quality.

R: That’s true.

C: I read a great blog post yesterday on Schmutzie. It was called Poor People Cannot Afford Cheap Things. And for me that’s a challenge because I hate to spend money on myself.

R: I do too.

C: I’ll go and buy a cheap pair of shoes, and then they hurt my feet. And I can’t wear them, and I sell them on ebay which is a hassle and headache. If I had just “upsold” and bought the nicer thing that would last for years! How do we get over that?

R: I totally get that conflict. Because one of my best friends lives in Utah. She’s ultimate minimalist. It suits her life, she’s just so happy. She lives in a little house, but she is canning all winter for all of her food for the whole winter. She’s processing deer, using every single part of the deer, including the brains, which she uses for curing the hides.

She’s telling me all about this, and when I think back to the stuff that she owns, she owns things that are made by Patagonia…. all these things that I was like, “Gosh they’re expensive, why are you buying these?” But they last forever! Really, she has had them for … 15 years. These things that she buys… the gear she gets for camping and just living in general, she buys things from Lehman’s. It’s a lot of houseware type stuff but it’s expensive ceramic type pieces and glass pieces that she’s gonna have for a lifetime. As opposed to aluminum junk that people buy for their kitchen so cheaply they get tons of it, she’s going to have that forever.

C: That really is better from an environmental standpoint too. Buying the highest quality thing that you can afford means that you’re going to keep it out of the landfill for years, maybe even pass it down to your children.

R: Absolutely. For me something I want to mention is that me and my husband especially, are huge Craigslist people. I look for the quality items that people are getting rid of. Because I am cheap like you said, and I can find things like that, for cheaper, even though they are quality items.

C: that’s a good tip. I was thinking when it comes to clothing, I like to go to the used stores in the nicer neighborhoods, so I have to drive a little bit.

R: That makes a huge difference. You really can find some nice things that are going to last. My husband just came home with a pair of Keen shoes that kids have. I have a pair of boots myself. But everyone says those boots are going to last you a lifetime. And he got them for $1! These $40 shoes for kids. Yeah, it was a nicer area thrift shop that he went to and found these great items. I’m like, “keep doing that!”.

C: What about trying to get rid of some of the clutter in your home if it’s something that you enjoy, like music or books? What about digitizing it? Is that something that you try to do?

R: That’s something that I aspire to do! Actually I do have a lot of stuff digital already. but I still do aspire to do some of it , I’ve got videotapes and stuff like that that I can just put on the computer. My father has tons of stuff that is CDs and books and videos from when we were growing up. He wants to get everything on digital, get rid of all this clutter.

C: Yeah. What I did just recently and I haven’t written it on the blog yet but plan on it: I have become a fan of Evernote. I love it! I just got my recipe files and scanned everything and put it in my Evernote in a recipe notebook. So now I can actually search by ingredients, so if I have broccoli and chicken and cheese I can put those ingredients in and see what I can come up with.

R: That is great!

C: So now I don’ t have ugly cluttered recipes filling up a drawer in my kitchen.

R: What I love about that is when people are asking me for recipes, I have everything digital so I can just send it to them by email or on my blog or another website that I created. So it’s so much easier! To share that stuff.

C: Another cool thing is, when you travel it’s right there in my phone. The Evernote online syncs with my laptop and phone so when I go out of town and I’ll be cooking with the family and I need a recipe I don’t have to worry about clipping it out or carrying it with me, it’s right there in my phone.

R: That is so cool, I’ve got to get my stepmother on board with that. She has ancient recipes from her mother, ancient stuff that she’s reading off of a smudged piece of paper. It gets more smudged every time she uses it.

C: Exactly! And the thing I hate about that is sometimes you’ll lose a vintage recipe that is passed down from someone. If it’s digital, then you’ll have it forever.

Can you recommend some resources for our listeners to learn more, or blogs that you follow to learn more?

R: Did you mention MinimalistMom? She’s got a book too, and some really great interesting points. And it’s good for anybody to use, not just somebody that is already a minimalist.

C: I just found her blog last night actually. She has written an ebook, The Guide to Baby’s First Year, that would be great for a friend who’s expecting and who is caught up in the glitter of the Toys R Us baby registry.

R: Absolutely! There’s also Family Sized Minimalism, an ebook by MinimalistAtHome.com. It’s writing about somebody that has a lot of space and is working on downsizing and how to go about doing that, and figuring out what you need and all that.

C: That’s great. There’s one that I’ll throw out that I really like. It’s two young single guys, but I just like their style and really enjoy their writing. It’s TheMinimalists.com. They’ve written an ebook I have that’s about $3. They’re hosting some TweetUps throughout the country, so I’m really wanting to meet those guys. And I’m sure you’re familiar with Leo Babauta of Zenhabits? He has 6 kids. So he’s a big minimalist, and his minimalist site is not on ZenHabits, it’s on MnMList.com That’s where he puts the articles about minimalism.

R: There was something else, if you don’t mind, that I wanted to touch on. I was talking with my husband when I told him I was going to be talking with you today.

We were talking about minimalism and birthdays and holidays. Since my oldest son’s birthday is coming up, and Christmas is coming up. I would say, “Please don’t give us any gifts.” We have a party, but we don’t need anything. And sometimes it’s not enough. Because people don’t listen to me. Anyway, we were talking about things for Christmas and birthdays that we can ask for that aren’t stuff. And one of the things he mentioned was memberships or tickets. Maybe membership to the Zoo.

C: Experiences.

R: Yeah! And things that are expensive and you might not take the time to buy. But if people are going to be buying you things, to ask for stuff like that.

C: I love that idea.

R: You get to spend more time with your kids, it’s a great experience for everyone. And you don’t have the cluttered up house because people are buying you stuff.

C: I think that’s a wonderful idea. Not only because it minimizes clutter, but also in terms of what children remember. When we look back on our childhood, we don’t really remember the toys that we had. I couldn’t even tell you what the inside of the house looked like. But I remember the things we did. Going to the Zoo, going to the Circus that time, going to the mountains. That’s what you remember. So that’s a wonderful idea.

R: So that’s my list of things, my in-laws always ask us to provide a Christmas list. And every year it’s so hard for me because I’m like, I don’t need anything. I really don’t. So now that I have this idea, I’m just going to start listing out things we can do for experiences for our family. We really could use that, it gives us time to let go of all the craziness that’s going on in life, and spend some time with each other.

C: Do you have any collections, or hobbies or addictions that make it (minimalism) hard?

R: (Laughs) Let’s see, umm, well… I’ve gotten away from it, but I used to be kind of an electronic junkie. And I’ve totally kind of gone in another direction because we had moved from our old house and bought a house that was not inhabited for 20 years and we were spending time fixing up our house and stuff, and electronics has not been a part of my life for the past couple years since we’ve been here. And it’s actually great. I wish I had been like this in years past. I realize I don’t really need all that stuff.

C: And it’s hard to devote time to it when you have young children.

R: It is hard to devote time to it. But that makes my life easier. I’m addicted to being cheap, so like you said… my Dad is so cheap, I’ve just been raised with not wanting to spend. When I make a purchase, I research it thoroughly. And I do buy quality items but I spend a lot of time mulling over it before I make the purchase.

C: I think my only addiction is children’s books. I have a thing for that. And books in general, but now that I have children I’m always buying children’s books. And I cannot go into a thrift store, a yard sale, a consignment ..

R: … without buying them?

C: That’s the first place I head, is the children’s books. But a couple of months ago I pared own my book collection to the extreme, and I still have 3 large almost to the ceiling bookshelves. But I got rid of a lot them on Amazon.com because I just went through and asked myself, “We might have read this and loved it, but are we doing to read it again in the next 6 months? Have I seen a child pick this book up?”

For me personally, there are certain reference books that I’ll never get rid of. Like Smart Medicine for a Healthier Child. The binding is all crap, I’ve had to tape it up, it’s stained, but I refer to it all the time when  a kid is sick. There are books like that you’ll always refer back to. But if I had not opened it up in the last couple of months, it was gone.

R: It was gone.

C: You know what else is hard? When  get a new book that’s supposed to be some great classic that everybody loved, and I read it or read it with my children, or they read it. And we don’t like it! It’s kind of like I have a hard time letting go of it.

R:.. that was supposed to be so great!

C: … and it was totally boring! We have  few of those, so I’ve decided those are going, because I have to be me. Haha! We didn’t love it, so we’re not gonna keep it. On the other hand I have some books that the kids read over and over and over, so I’m totally fine having those all over the house. So you can define it for yourself, you can define minimalism.

R: I’m sitting here looking at my pile of sewing stuff and realizing that it’s one of those things that…

C: Are you crafty? Or  wanna be?

R: I am, but I’m a wanna be! I was more crafty when I had more time when I had less kid stuff to do, so I’m always aspiring to do all this stuff, and i have piles and piles of fabric right here that I don’t get to use.

C: That’s another thing about clutter, if you read articles about why we hold on to it, it’s because that is our “ideal self”. We wish that we had the time for that craft, we hoped when we bought that exercise equipment that we would use it and lose weight, but that’s part of it… we are buying for our ideal self instead of our actual self.

R: Yeah you’re right. Because I’m always telling people, ideally I would be sewing all my curtains in my house.. I’ve done some, but ideally I would be making my children their clothes.

C: You can’t do everything. I’m always always telling my kids, you can do anything, but you can’t do everything.

R: Yeah, I know. That’s hard for me!

C: I’ve really enjoyed talking with you Rachel, because we’ve chatted a lot on the phone. I’m sure we’ll be talking again soon, I’m sure there’s a lot of things that we could chat about in the future. Great talking with you.

R: Absolutely, great talking with you too.

Two weeks ago, we got rid of the kid’s Nintendo DS devices.

We did it with no crying, no whining, no begging… actually, no drama to speak of.

But first, the backstory.

Years ago, when I first became a mom, I made a declaration in my home. 

What was it?

That I would never live in a home with a Nintendo video game system.

I really don’t like video games. For several reasons. I believe that video games are highly addictive, that they displace other, healthier activities, that they encourage a kind of vampirish sedentary dark lifestyle (I have several friends I grew up with who fit this description, they were so addicted to gaming that they couldn’t lead normal lives, hold jobs, get to school, etc), that they encourage the philosophy of “I must be entertained every second of the day“.

More on this: My interview with Kim McDaniel , author of Video Games and Your Kids

Also, because they cause children to constantly test and push and disobey and sneak around boundaries. (Because they’re addictive, so the user acts like an addict – needing bigger fixes to make them happy, sneaky behavior that causes problems with family relationships, ignoring authority, etc).

That was my stand, despite the fact that my oldest son began to notice video games, gaming systems, and handhelds several years ago. I held my ground and stayed firm. No video games. I didn’t mind if he played occasionally at a friend’s house, or at Grandma’s house, I didn’t mind computer games, and I would even take him to an arcade periodically and give him quarters. But just not at MY house.

A few years passed. Then my youngest nephew, who is one year older than my oldest son, gave him his old, beat up, retired Nintendo DS.

I wish so much that I had politely explained to him that, while I appreciated his kindness, we had made the decision not to have video games in our home.

But, I didn’t.

Looking back, I’m not sure why.  I was a single mom at the time, and maybe I felt inappropriate guilt. Maybe I was so broke that I thought it would be good free entertainment. Maybe I didn’t have the inner strength at the time to risk offending my nephew and sister and brother-in-law, all of whom I adore.

I’m not sure.

But my son was the proud owner of a Nintendo DS. Of course, his younger brother noticed, and the thing soon became a source of conflict in their otherwise very peaceful relationship. I had to constantly mitigate sharing and fights about the thing. Guess what? Oldest told me he was willing to give his brother the DS, and he would earn the money to buy a new to him/used one on eBay. What mom could say no to that proposition? It made my heart soar to hear that he was willing to give his little brother his old system. So I allowed it.

I started hating how much time they spent playing, however. I missed their conversation. I tried to set limits, but they were constantly disobeying me (which wasn’t typical of either of them). At the same time, when they played DS side by side, there were no arguments. They got along perfectly, silenced and couched by the gizmos. It was creepy, but the peacefulness was …. kinda nice. I tolerated it. I set limits. (No DS on Thursday or Sunday, and only 45 minutes a day.) I made them play outside. I reminded them that chores came before DS time.

I married a wonderful man who is a Luddite like myself, but whose daughter also had a Nintendo DS that was purchased for her by another adult, and which he also hated. Now we had 3 kids playing.

The DSs were eventually upgraded to DSis, courtesy of a relative. They were supposed to be “for traveling”, to keep the kids happy in the car. But they ended up being given to them for everyday use.

Then, my ex-husband bought my (then) 7 year old daughter a DSi. She was really too young for it, because a couple of weeks later she lost it and it stayed lost for months. She finally found it and took up playing. While not as addicted as my sons, I was still frequently having to tear her away from it at mealtimes, in the car, at bedtime. I would find her sneaking to watch it.

Then somehow, I still can’t remember how it happened, my 5 year old ended up with a GameBoy!

Every day my husband and I would lament these devices that came into our homes and our lives and in the way of our relationships with our children, via other people. How did we let this happen? We both hated them with a passion.

We hated the way the kids wouldn’t respond when we called them. We had to say their names several times before we got a response, their faces hypnotized to the screen.

We hated the way the kids would play in the car. We actually preferred them fighting than the eery silence and beeping and annoying techno music of games.

We got tired of asking them to turn it down/turn it off/go outside and play/do your chore/ do your schoolwork/ it’s time for dinner.

We had to discipline them all the time because they would sneak and play for hours at night or early in the morning. The limits we tried to set to avoid having them take up every spare second of the day and night playing were constantly ignored, stretched or disobeyed.

The final straw?

The kids were able to get online on their phones, view things we didn’t approve of, and watch movies via our Netflix account. A friend whom we had formerly been so impressed with stayed the night, and watched an extremely inappropriate movie on my son’s Nintendo. His brother and my sons told him not to (and didn’t join him in viewing it), but still. This put me in the very uncomfortable position of having to call my friend, his mother, and tell her what he had done.

He has since apologized and all is forgiven, but still. I don’t like that my kids were able to have the world wide web in the palm of their hands. They’re too young to see and hear all that’s out there. And it’s my job to protect them until they’re old enough to make these choices on their own.

Enough was enough.

I wanted my kids back.

I decided to kill Nintendo.

I told my husband a few weeks ago that I was going to sell the Nintendos and use the money to buy the kids an air hockey table (something they had wanted for a long time).

I don’t think he believed me at first. And he was expecting there to be tantrums, tears and begging. He probably thought I was upset, and would back down later.

Nope. I had never been more rational in my life.

The next day I texted him to say that the conversation went better than I expected. That the kids didn’t even disagree with me when I told them that the Nintendos were something I told myself I would never have in my home, and that I had done wrong by them by allowing the Nintendos to take over our lives. That I had not been true to my values. I apologized for my weakness, for not having the backbone and guts to say “No” to things that I thought weren’t good for them.

I told them that the DSs were going to be sold on eBay. That they could keep the money and buy an air hockey table, or whatever they wanted.

You know what? I think they were relieved. Not one of them even tried to fight me on the issue.

After some discussion, they did ask if they could keep just one of the Nintendos, leave it at Grandma’s, and only use it when we are traveling a long distance in the car. I said yes. And they can still play Wii at their Grandma’s, and other video games at their Dad’s.

Since the two week period since this all took place, I can’t see that they have even missed their Nintendos. They simply haven’t brought it up.

Interestingly, the day after we killed Nintendo, my oldest son built a teepee outside. By hand.He’s playing the piano more. There’s more reading. More board games. More conversation.

We instituted Screen Free Sundays, where all day we enjoy a screen sabbatical – even the adults. No computers, no laptops, no cell phones even! We wanted to make sure the kids knew we were serious about limiting screentime, and weren’t addicted ourselves.

The last two Sundays have been some of the most enjoyable we’ve had as a family. One Sunday we had a “Staycation”. Another one, we sat around and read, talked, walked outside, and just enjoyed each other. No screens to distract us from one another. It’s so peaceful.

I think that many parents are uncomfortable with video games, and aren’t sure why. It’s just a gut dislike. There isn’t anything else in my children’s lives that I feel so uncomfortable with. But it’s so easy to become complacent when everyone else is doing it. When it keeps them quiet, and does our jobs for us. Parenting is hard work sometimes, and it’s tempting to let them do whatever just to keep them quiet.

So I’m not judgmental of parents who are ok with their kids having video game devices or systems, or for parents who enjoy playing them with their kids. That’s cool. It just wasn’t good for my family.

I killed Nintendo, and survived.

photo credit: nezumichuu

I try hard to make things homemade as often as I can. Especially if the homemade version is more natural, less toxic, healthier, and cheaper.

Laundry detergent is an example. There’s natural hair conditioner, shampoo, facial moisturizer, homemade lip balm. Sauerkraut and kefir are two more.

A few years ago, I enjoyed making my own natural olive oil soaps (not the melt and pour, mind you. The real stuff with thermometers, eye goggles, and lye).

But I admit, not every DIY/natural/homemade project I’ve undertaken was successful.

Some have been epic FAILs.

Can you relate?

Here are some of my recent failed projects.

Homemade Raw Milk Yogurt

Every batch I’ve attempted failed. It just never set. I followed directions precisely, and it was as runny and watery as … milk. I haven’t given up, though. I’m going to keep at it, and perhaps next time use pasteurized. I hear that sometimes the natural bacteria in raw milk (which, in part, makes it so good for you) sometimes “competes” with the starter culture.

And although I’ve made homemade kefir, sauerkraut, homemade lacto-fermented salsa and kombucha many times, my homemade pickles also never turned out (they were covered in mold before the culture period ended).

FAIL.

Homemade Natural Baby Wipes

For years I’ve seen for making your own baby wipes. With my other babies, I used cloth wipes, but for some reason my cloth wipes have all disappeared. So for the last few months I’ve been using disposables, which I don’t want to continue doing. I followed Kitchen Stewardship’s recipe to the letter, including using the Viva paper towels (and normally I never buy paper towels!).

The result? My wipes were too narrow, too fuzzy/linty, they tore easily in my hand while cleaning poopies, and they *mildewed* despite my adding tea tree oil to the wipe solution!

FAIL.

At least they had fun planting it!

Gardening

For two years in a row hubby and I have planted a garden: one year, a container garden on our sunny back deck, the second year, a raised bed. Before we married, he was successful at growing tomatoes and jalapenos. But my black thumb must’ve rubbed off. Our gardens, both years, were a disastrous failure. We literally got no edible produce either time, and so wasted our time and money.

Through the years I’ve tried my hand at kitchen herb gardens in pots, and same thing… I can’t grow anything but children, apparently.

FAIL.

Another: I use homemade dishwasher detergent about 50% of the time. The reason I only use it 50% of the time is because if I use it every time, my dishes don’t get clean, and the inside of my dishwasher turns a rusty color and starts growing slime. I’ve tried dozens of recipes, and none of them work as well as commercial dishwasher detergents.

Oh well. I guess you can’t win at everything, eh?

What are some of your natural living/DIY/homemade FAILS?

This week’s Green Moms Weekly post touches on a subject that is hotly debated amongst parents: CoSleeping.

I’ll never forget the time a friend cornered my husband and asked him where the baby was sleeping. When my husband told him, he got agitated and began to regale him of the dangers of cosleeping on one’s marriage.

(Not to be snarky, but one of this man’s children, a son, was arrested and imprisoned last year for killing a cop. His other daughter had a baby out of wedlock. Nobody’s lining up to ask him for parenting wisdom, to be sure. Oh, and the marriage has been in trouble for years too. If something was going wrong in that family, it sure wasn’t about where baby slept at night!)

But this week we aren’t talking about just any of the “negatives” that people bring up against cosleeping. Just one, in particular.

Safety concerns.

In light of recent controversial co-sleeping ads, what would you say as a proponent for co-sleeping safely?

What would I say? I would say Poppycock.

Well, that was easy.

Seriously though. I’ve read a few outstanding articles on this topic in the past week. I’ll link to those first and then share my thoughts.

First is PhDinParenting’s comparison of car travel and cosleeping.

Her basic point is that EVERYTHING we do has some element of risk.

Cribs can cause death (every month when I step into Target, I see another crib recall posted on the wall), driving in cars can cause death, pregnancy and birth can cause death! We don’t tell parents to stop driving, getting pregnant, or giving birth.

We tell them how to do those things safely.

Tiffany at The Attached Parent wrote her thoughts on safe cosleeping here. I love how she makes the very important, but often overlooked connection between who is funding the study and the supposed “outcomes” of these studies.

Follow the money.

Often when you do so you find a pile of poop referred to as a conflict of interest.

Here is an interview I did with the creators of the Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper. (It’s transcribed if you don’t have time to listen.)

I wrote this post back in 2007 entitled: safe cosleeping is safe.

By the way, if you want to read more from a true expert, read every word you can by Dr. James McKenna. The man has spent more time studying the science of mother and baby sleep than anyone in the world.  A list of safe cosleeping guidelines are posted on his site, The Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory.

My experiences and thoughts:

1- I’ve coslept with 5 babies so far. (I was a cosleeping baby/toddler too.)

What I’ve noticed is that cosleeping keeps me in tune with my baby, and my baby in tune with me, all night long. This doesn’t just occur during the few months postpartum, or even when baby is still breastfeeding. In 13 years of mothering, I CANNOT COUNT how many times I have awakened with a sense that something was “off”, and seconds later heard a child vomiting, or otherwise distressed, nearby. Would my baby have been safer if they were vomiting in another room alone?

In my own very unscientific “study”, having had 2 husbands and therefore 2 cosleeping daddies, I’ve found that Dads are just as aware of baby’s body too. I’ve never had a Dad hit or roll over on or otherwise endanger a baby. They become more sensitive to baby also.

2 – Cosleeping is not perfect, but it is a far better alternative than cry it out.

As an example, I’ll use my stepdaughter. My husband is a very gentle minded parent. For the first few months of his daughter’s life, it was HE who got up in the night to parent and feed little Z. This is remarkable especially considering he was working 2 jobs at the time, and his wife was a stay at home mom.

He has shared with me that he looks back with regret at the way little Z was “sleep trained” by her mother after she was weaned (around 4 months old). Her mother resorted to Cry it Out. He has told me that it was physically painful for him, listening to his baby cry that way,  that it felt like a knife twisting inside him, and he protested often, but finally acquiesced to his wife to keep the peace. She kept insisting that the “Doctor said this was best”, and he felt powerless to do anything about it. He was likely horribly sleep deprived at this point himself.

If his then wife had been willing to cosleep, everyone in the family would have gotten more rest, and my stepdaughter, as a tiny infant, would not have been forced to scream, cry, and finally sink into depression (because that is what happens when babies cry it out). It grieves me to even think about it.

3 -  The “overlying” argument is patently ridiculous.

Nobody has a problem with people sleeping with their dogs and cats. (Which seems perfectly gross to me!) There are no campaigns by the powers that be to convince pet owners that they might accidentally suffocate their pet.

Why?

Because people are aware, even in their sleep, of their bodies and of other bodies.

I’ve never accidentally sleep on top of my husband’s thigh, or his bicep (two things roughly the size of a baby), because I know where they are on the bed in relation to me, even while I sleep.

I’ve also never fallen out of bed. Why? Because even in a deep sleep, I know where the edge of the bed is!

The only people who should not sleep with their babies are: drunk people (who shouldn’t be taking care of babies, period, day or night), people who smoke (even if they don’t smoke around baby, particulates stay on their bodies and hair and there is an increase of SIDS among smoking parents), people who take drugs to knock them out or otherwise alter consciousness and normal brain function (I had a friend who jumped out of a window while on Ambien. Ahem.) and lastly, the morbidly obese or others who, due to health conditions, may not be aware of their OWN bodies.

Sadly, throughout the years “overlying” has been a coverup for “infanticide”.   It’s nearly impossible to prove that when a mother kills her own child by putting a pillow over its face and says she accidentally smothered him in her sleep, that she is lying (or, drunk or high at the time of baby’s death).

4 – Everyone cosleeps anyway, why not educate parents on how to make it safer?

Depending on which study you read, over 90%  of parents cosleep either all or part of the time. Because there is such a stigma attached, a parent filling out a study will often not admit to cosleeping, because their child starts off in their own bed, but crawls into their bed at some point during the night. It’s difficult to study cosleeping because of this.

5 – Cosleeping means mom gets more sleep. Isn’t sleep deprivation dangerous too?

Personally, due to a late night out or a sick child, I’ve lost a lot of sleep and felt the effects the next day. Sleep deprivation can make you walk sloppy, make poor decisions, have accidents, and be more likely to abuse your child.

Driving while sleepy is especially dangerous, and most parents have to drive every day. Isn’t it safer to sleep where everyone gets the most sleep, rather than try to get baby to stay in a crib, wake up and sit up for night feedings (and risk falling asleep in a rocking chair, which is far more dangerous than any other sleeping arrangement), and be a zombie?

6 – Breastfeeding is safer than formula feeding, and cosleeping is good for breastfeeding.

Cosleeping “couples” breastfeed more often. Experts like James McKenna and Dr. William Sears claim that since cosleeping babies sleep “lighter” and are stimulated by mom’s breathing and movement, they don’t get into the dangerously deep sleep characteristic of formula fed babies and “forget” to breathe and/or wake up. Therefore, breastfed babies are less likely to die of SIDS.

SIDS used to be called “Crib Death” a generation ago. Isn’t that interesting. I wonder what agencies were behind the change?

7 – Anti-cosleeping campaigns are culturally illiterate and insensitive

Asians cosleep more than Westerners, and their SIDS rates are lower. African-Americans cosleep more than whites, as a general rule.  So do Latinos. In fact, Americans are the only people in the world who are opposed to cosleeping.

Interestingly, cosleeping was the norm in this country until fairly recently. Ever read a Little House on the Prairie book? Where did the babies, toddlers, and children sleep? (Answer: In mom and dad’s bed, and then they graduated to a sibling’s bed.)

Now, for a few safe cosleeping tips:

• Use a firm mattress  (waterbeds and fluffy beds are a no-no)
• Don’t use heavy or fluffy bedding (dress mom and baby warmly and have one light blanket in winter)
• Make sure there is no space where baby could be trapped (such as between the mattress and headboard, mattress and frame, or mattress and wall).
• Use one or no pillows for the adults and nothing else on the bed (such as those long blind pull cords) that baby could could get entangled in
• Use common sense! No boozing, smoking, no drugs.

And finally, even though it has nothing to do with safety, I’ll address cosleeping and sex.

Let me make this clear: Sleeping and sex have nothing to do with each other. I don’t sleep during sex, and neither should you.

Sipping a delicious hot drink in a comfy chair when it’s cold or yucky out? It doesn’t get much better than that, does it? At the moment I’m drinking a latte made from my stovetop espresso maker. So good!

We drink a lot of hot drinks around here. Coffee of course, but also hot teas like Earl Grey or English Breakfast (in bulk, preferably. Bagged teas are the lowest quality and mostly filled with dust.), Roobios or green.

The kids often make hot cocoa from scratch (of course, never from a box! – homemade hot cocoa recipe here) or just steamed milk with a tiny touch of vanilla. I love anything that can get more raw milk into my kids.

Here are 2 yummy hot drink recipes to enjoy this season:

Vanilla Chai

Serves 2

Ingredients:
* 2 cups milk (you can use non dairy milk if dairy is an issue)
* 1/2 teaspoon each of cinnamon, ginger, and vanilla extract
* 1/8 teaspoon each of ground cloves and nutmeg
* 2 teaspoons honey or sugar (reduce or eliminate if using sweetened nut or grain milk)

Heat milk in a saucepan. Whisk in spices, vanilla, and honey; heat through, and serve in a mug.

I remember my Dad giving me sips of a hot toddy (hot water, lemon, honey and a shot of something potent to help me sleep) when I got sick with a bad cold that would keep me up at night coughing. It sure was safer than a lot of today’s cough medicines that seem to get recalled from store shelves on a regular basis! Of course, this one is great for grown ups too.

Maple Hot Toddy

This drink can be fairly versatile, using whiskey, rum, bourbon or brandy. This version for 1 serving uses bourbon.

Ingredients:
* 2 tablespoons bourbon
* 1 teaspoon lemon juice
* 1 tablespoon maple syrup
* 1/2 cup hot tea or water
* Lemon wedge

Mix all ingredients in a mug and serve warm with a lemon wedge. Make two and share with hubby. I’m not responsible for what happens next.

More hot drink recipes:

• Orange laced apple cider
• Peppermint swirl hot cocoa
• International coffee recipes
• Eggnog latte

photo credit: Calgary Reviews

One of the things that can be the most guilt inducing when you have several children is the issue of one on one time with individual children.
I’ve even seen mothers of just two kids ask how to accomplish this.

I have 6 kids.

If I said that I never once worried that each of my children gets enough face time with me, I’d be lying. Of course I’ve had that concern.

But for the most part, I don’t worry about finding one on one time with individual kids on a regular basis.

For one, the idea of individual time is overstated. Kids don’t need it as much as many people think they do. It’s more important that the kids know they can come to you when they do need you.

That has to do with the quality of your relationship, not the number of siblings they have.

Secondly, I remember feeling worried and sad while pregnant with my second baby. Why?

Even though I planned my second child and was very happy about his arrival, I was concerned about my firstborn losing out on alone time with me!

Looking back I know this was silly, because I had plenty of time to share with both of them, and they benefit immeasurably from the sibling relationship.

I didn’t have this same fear with subsequent pregnancies. We moms are always feeling guilty about something, and many times our fears are perfectly irrational.

Thirdly, I don’t worry about it because I find that if I listen, my kids let me know when they need some one on one time.

Since each kid is different I don’t worry about scheduling it in. I just keep my eyes and ears open for the signs. Older kids will come right out and ask me (Mo-om! Can I come with you to the store? Just me?), and younger kids will show me with their behavior.

Here are some of the ways I fit in one on one time with my kids:

- Walks. I walk around my neighborhood and every day I ask one kid to accompany me (the toddler always comes too but she doesn’t interrupt!) and we talk one on one for that time.

- Errands. When I’m running a quick errand I’ll often leave all the kids home with hubs, except one, and take that child with me. They might get a Starbucks cocoa or something as a little treat.

- Bedtime. Sometimes I’ll crawl into bed with one kid and read and cuddle with them for a few minutes.

- Early Morning. One of my kids is an early riser and since I get up super early, I think he gets up first just so he can chat with me. He is my second baby, I mentioned him earlier. He used to stay awake late at night long after his big brother (my first) was asleep, and I always said he did it just to be alone with me!

- Other Adults. Since I’m in a blended family, my kids go to their non-custodial parents periodically for visits. They also go overnight to their grandparent’s home. They have lots of other caring adults who love them and certainly don’t lack attention. Sometimes when a couple of my bio kids are gone to their Dad’s, I get to cherish some more time with them individually. My boys even crave one on one time with their stepfather. When he announces he’s heading out on an errand, they rush to be the one chosen to accompany him.

- Read Aloud. Sometimes when a few of the kids are otherwise engaged in play, one child will bring me a book and ask me to read to them. I’m currently reading James and the Giant Peach – but just to my 10 year old son, not the other kids. (I’m reading Nurse Matilda to the girls, and Julie of the Wolves to all of them. Can you tell I love read aloud?) Even this little patch of time is precious to me, and to that child.

- Affection and Eye Contact. A child’s bucket is filled when they get plenty of physical affection, eye contact and your attention when they talk to you about what’s important to them. “Individual attention” can take place with just a few moments here and there.

What say you? Do you think the importance of one on one time is overrated? How do you manage to fit in individual time with your kids?

This week’s Green Moms Weekly topic is timely, since many of you will be doing lots of visiting during the holiday season.

What type of topics in natural parenting cause opposition among family and friends and how do you handle it?

Wow. This really is a toughie. None of us wants to be different, singled out as the weird one in the family.Yet we want to remain true to our own parenting decisions. We have a moral imperative to do what we feel is right with our own children.

Here are some of the big ticket issues that many parents have found that run counter to standard parenting practice, and a few words of advice on how to handle unsupportive family.

Breastfeeding

Nothing makes the relatives choke on their turkey dinner like feeding the baby anywhere and anytime, it seems! This may be the biggest one, since breastfeeding is so obviously best and it’s so close to a woman’s heart.Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last 100 years, you know that few things are more established in the medical community and the school of common sense than this fact.

Any mother who knew consciously that breastfeeding is right and good for her child, and that formula is very much sub par, and yet didn’t want to breastfeed, because she has body image issues and thinks it’s “icky”, is likely to have “issues” (coughcough) around the topic. Meaning she can’t think rationally, only emotionally. Meaning she may have a problem with you breastfeeding around her.

And those mothers who knew breastfeeding is best but who lacked good information and support and therefore failed in her attempts to do so, will also have sadness and grief. This is the same kind of feeling you may get around a friend who struggles with infertility, and you’re pregnant. Again.

It grieves me to see the lengths women sometimes go to to avoid breastfeeding in public. Where else should a woman feel safe to nurture her baby than around her family?

When it comes to family being unsupportive of breastfeeding, I say go with your own comfort level. If feeding the baby in the same room as your family will cause you to have toxic emotions and total discomfort, then take it elsewhere. It’s not a political statement to duck into a spare bedroom to nurse your baby in peace and comfort. It’s a gastrointestinal one. If your mind and emotions will be so disturbed by the possibility of questions and criticism, that isn’t good for your health or baby’s.

With younger babies, you may be able to be discreet and nurse wherever you are, just turning away from the group for a moment to latch on, then settling your clothes around baby’s face. Older babies, of course, won’t stand for it. In this case I recommend using a sling, especially a ring sling like the Maya Wrap. Many times I’ve nursed a baby in the Maya and noone around me was the wiser.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

Is that baby still nursing? Is he sleeping through the night yet? Where does she sleep?  How did he do with the shots? And my personal favorite, “Is he a GOOD baby?” (I cringe inside and fight the urge to slap anyone who says this. My answer is always the same. “Well, he hasn’t robbed any banks lately!” As if a baby, a gift from God, could ever be anything less than “good”!?)

Questions this impertinent don’t deserve a response, at least not an honest one. Learn to change the subject, defer to the imaginary “Doctor” (the Doctor can be Dr. Sears or any other parenting expert with letters after his or her name whom you respect), your spouse or just simply avoid the topic at all costs. It’s nobody’s business where your baby sleeps, whether you and your beloved are having any sex due to baby’s sleep location, whether your yoni is healed up yet, whether your nipples are sore, etc.

If you don’t know how to change the subject when someone is being rude and nosy, I recommend reading Jane Austen’s novels to learn this art of verbal judo.

If you know a topic is going to trigger a heated response (for instance, you don’t vaccinate but your sister in law is a nurse who thinks you’re killing your children, or you homebirth and your mother in law thinks the only proper way for a lady to bring children to bear is knocked out for two days), simply avoid it at all costs.

“Margaret, If you cannot think of anything appropriate to say you will please restrict your remarks to the weather. “

Mrs. Dashwood, Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen

One very important thing to remember is that whenever we make a decision, we are by default condemning the other person’s decision.

Even if we aren’t judgmental, if we do something that we feel is “right”, then automatically the other party thinks we deem their decision “wrong”. (And to be quite honest, we do.) That doesn’t mean we don’t love our families or respect their decisions.

But keeping this firmly in mind helps us to be empathic when others get riled up by our personal choices. We have to realize that by making a different decision, they may feel judged by us.

Eating, Discipline, Homeschooling, And Everything Else

I’ve written 893 words and have barely touched on these other topics. Honestly, it doesn’t matter because the same principles apply no matter what the controversy.

As parents, we have the right to make decisions that we believe are in the best interests of our children. Unapologetically. If brother in law works for the Board of Education and we unschool, that’s ok. If Auntie carries a hickory switch in her purse for errant toddlers and we use gentle discipline, that’s ok too. If Grandma keeps bags of candy everywhere and we don’t keep junk food in the house, that can be worked around as well.

Here is a quick formula to use when in doubt. If someone is criticizing your parenting, or making unhelpful comments or offering unsolicited advice, do this:

1) Make a positive statement about the person.

2) Restate their position.

3) Restate yours.

4) If necessary, Repeat. (You may have to be a broken record, but don’t change your position.)

So it could look like this:

“My dearest mother in law, I appreciate how concerned you are about little Johnny. You obviously did a wonderful job with big Johnny, which is why I love him so much. And you worry that little Johnny isn’t getting enough to eat and is nursing too often. Our Doctor has assured us that little Johnny will get plenty to eat if he is breastfed on cue, without any supplements, and that it’s best to delay solids until 6 months. So we will continue to nurse him as often as he wants to, without offering solids until he is 6 months old. And I assure you I’m getting plenty of rest, since big Johnny is so helpful with the baby!”

Did you see it?

This works no matter what the topic.

Here’s another.

I call it The Bobblehead.

It works well for people you won’t see often, like strangers. You don’t need to go into a long explanation with someone like this, since you don’t owe them anything.

With this one, simply nod your head repeatedly like a Bobblehead doll, and say:

“I’ll take that into consideration.”

Then walk away, and do whatever you please.

How do you handle relatives who are unsupportive of your parenting choices?

Related to unsupportive family:

- What Other People Think – Which type of mommy are you?

- Boundaries and Negative People – This links to a podcast interview that is now dead, but has good info and two great book recommendations.

- Nursing – To Cover Up or Not To Cover Up – thoughts to think on about nursing covers

- Holiday Babywearing  - why babywearing is so helpful during the holidays

I’m not a huge fan of cold weather, for a few reasons. One, because I have blue moods in winter due to low serotonin. Two, because of the inevitable sickness that comes with being inside more often and breathing stale, recirculated air.

Our family is not plagued badly by colds and flu, nobody has chronic cough or other issues, but sickness is still just plain bummer. This year I’m determined to keep the kids as healthy as possible during the fall and winter. Here’s how.

Handwashing

At our last family meeting, we talked to the kids about the importance of good handwashing. Hands down (pun completely intended), good handwashing is the single most important thing you can do to stay well. They already do an excellent job of washing post-potty visits. We reminded the kids that they needed to wash their hands well (and by well I mean lathering up for 20 seconds, as in to the alphabet song) after blowing their noses, before eating, and (most adults forget this one!) coming into the house after being away.

That’s right. Running errands, going to social functions, and my stepdaughter being in public school especially… exposes us to a ton of “other people” germs. We’re immune to the germs in our own homes due to sheer exposure (incidentally, this is one of the reasons that homebirth is safer than hospital birth for healthy normal deliveries). But when we’re out and about touching doorknobs, grocery cart handles, shaking people’s hands and the like, we’re exposed to cooties that make us sick.

Vitamin D & Outside Play

Even in the winter, we can get the Vitamin D we need by spending time outside. We told the kids that 30 minutes a day of outside play was mandatory, unless is was pouring rain. And if it is pouring rain, we told them to take their Vitamin D supplement. Vitamin D is super essential to immune system health. To learn more, listen to this podcast on Vitamin D.

Of course, outside play also gives the kids some fresh air, away from the mucus membrane drying effects of central heat.

Cold Liver Oil

Cod Liver Oil is another very important supplement for immune system health and many other things. It’s loaded with Vitamin D and Vitamin A. I take it in capsule form, and the kids who are old enough do too. The younger ones do Carlson for Kids.

Probiotics

I’m giving the kids a liquid probiotic supplement as well as giving them fermented veggies and kefir. Since most of your immune system is in your gut, and a gut full of friendly bacteria is a happy gut, you want to be sure your diet is full of good germs!

(The awesome vegetable fermenter you see on the right in this picture is from Cultures For Health. It’s called the Vegetable Master, and I LOVE using it so make sauerkraut!)

Colorful Food

Carrots cooked in butter, kale chips, pumpkin, collard greens, sweet potatoes, squash… these colorful veggies are on the menu aplenty in winter. They need the antioxidants and vitamins and minerals these colorful foods provide.

Broths & Garlic

As the saying goes, good broth can awaken the dead. Real broth cooked from bones is full of immune boosting properties. And we know enough great stuff about garlic. It’s a good thing my family loves soup and stews. We eat them 2 or 3 times a week.

What do you do to keep your kids healthy during the cold and flu season?

The following is a guest post from Ryan Rivera, an anxiety expert and father. I like his advice here, especially the tip about the habit of deep breathing. We often get in the habit of holding our breath when we’re stressed, when we need oxygen to our brain and organs the most! I’ve taught this technique to my children and I often notice them taking deep breaths when they feel anger (also a good time to breathe!).

We seem to be living in the Age of Anxiety. I’m sure a lot of factors contribute to this, so keeping a few natural remedies in mind is a good idea.

Safe and Natural Ways for Busy Moms to Relax

Being a mom is hard enough. When you have anxiety, being a mom becomes much harder. Anxiety can make it hard to be the great parent you want to be, because you have these persistent worries that can easily be overwhelming. Yet it’s something you need to treat – not just for the sake of your family, who probably don’t want to see you stressed – but also for yourself, because while your family is important, so are you. Your mental health matters, and finding a way to handle stress is an important part of living a great life.

Of course if there was unlimited time in the day, finding a way to relax probably wouldn’t be that difficult. The real issue is time. You’re busy, and in order to successfully reduce your stress, you need to find a way to fit in relaxation time. There are medicines you can take – “happy pills” – but these are just providing a quick and potentially toxic fix to the problem, and are certainly neither a healthy nor long term solution. Instead, consider these safe and natural relaxation strategies that you can implement with just a little free time in your busy schedule.

Quick Relaxation Tips

There are several relaxation exercises that you can introduce to your life that can easily fit into your busy schedule. All they take is 10 or so minutes out of your day, and they can provide you with some of that calming relief that you need to unwind and relax. Examples of these strategies include:

Visualization – Visualization is a fun and interesting technique that has received a little bit of bad publicity, but is surprisingly effective for relaxation. It involves closing your eyes, sitting comfortably, and imagining yourself in a place that you find relaxing. You need to transport yourself there, with sights, sounds – even smells that completely overwhelm you until you are transported into a state of complete relaxation.

Deep Breathing – Deep breathing is a very quick technique that involves sitting in a chair with your back straight, breathing in slowly through your nose (filling your stomach first and your chest second) and then breathing out slowly through your mouth. You repeat this process 10 times. Deep breathing has been found to calm your entire body, and there are many other deep breathing techniques available that can be done in little time.

There are countless additional relaxation strategies that can be implemented in 10 minutes or less, and give you a chance to calm your mind and body.

Supplements and Tea

Another option you have is to start using teas or taking supplements that have natural anti-anxiety relaxation capabilities. One of the most powerful is Kava – although you should not take kava if you are breastfeeding, drink alcohol, or have liver problems. Unlike many other herbal supplements, kava has scientific research at major universities all over the world that back its efficacy. It’s a fairly strong relaxation herb provided you use the right dose and a great way to experience less stress and anxiety without depending on chemical medications.

There are also several types of tea available with herbs that are believed to have anti-anxiety qualities. Herbs such as passionflower, peppermint, and chamomile are all believed to be calming for the mind and body. But perhaps what makes them even more beneficial is that the act of drinking tea can in itself be calming. Find a quiet place and gently sip your tea, giving you a few minutes to relax to yourself with a great tasting warm beverage that is healthy for you.

Work With Your Family

Your family doesn’t want you to experience stress. Stress can lead to anxiety and depression if it’s left untreated, and you know your family would never want you to go through those emotions. But as a mother, your natural instinct tells you that you can’t share these problems with your family, and you need to get over them on your own to be a great parent.

It doesn’t have to be this way – especially not in the 21st century. People understand mental health issues and they know how important your relaxation is to a better quality of life. So discuss your stress with your family. You may be able to discover a way to reduce some of the pressure you feel regularly and get yourself additional relaxation time to calm your mind and body.

Your Own Quality of Life

Being a great parent is important. But being a happy, healthy, and relaxed person is just as important – and arguably an equally important part of being a parent. Not only do you deserve constant happiness, but your family will pick up on your stress if you start to be overwhelmed and react accordingly. That is why finding a way to reduce your own stress needs to be an important part of your life, and will help you go a long way toward being the person you want to be.

About the Author: Ryan Rivera is a parent and anxiety expert who has information on how to reduce anxiety and depression at www.calmclinic.com.

This week’s Green Moms Weekly topic is about natural and non-toxic cleaning.
It asks:

“What are some simple tips to go green with your household cleaning?”

I like this topic because I like keeping things simple. I find that using non-toxic cleaning products are one of the fastest, easiest and simplest ways of reducing your family’s exposure to potentially harmful chemicals.

Making your own cleaning products is actually quite easy, and they simplify your life in a few ways. More on that later. For now, I’ll list just a couple of ways that you can easily make the switch to greener cleaning.

1. Grab a gallon of generic white vinegar and a large box of baking soda next time you go grocery shopping.
2. Invest in good cleaning cloths. I have a few high quality microfiber cloths I bought from FlyLady’s site, and I also love the white and red striped tea towels from IKEA. I buy more every time I go there. They’re around .50 each.
3. Get several good spray bottles. If you have some leftover from current cleaning products, great. Rinse them out thoroughly, label them and reuse them. If not, buy a few but go for quality. The cheaper ones clog easily and won’t spray well. Good ones will last for years.

Now simply fill these with a 50/50 mix of vinegar and water.

This simple solution can clean, deodorize and sanitize almost any surface in your home.

Everything from mirrors and windows, sinks, toilets, refrigerators, counters, tables and floors. (In other words, any hard non-porous surface. Fabrics too.)

If you want to get fancy, add a couple of drops of your favorite essential oil. I do it when I remember. Even if you don’t, your home won’t smell like a pickle factory. The vinegar smell will dissipate in seconds leaving only the lovely smell of clean. (After using non toxic cleaners you will come to despise the fake, cloying, overpowering fragrances added to commercial cleaning products. Clean smells like nothing. Which is lovely in itself.)

If you need some abrasive, sprinkle on the baking soda.

Baking soda works wonderfully for baked on gook that lingers on pots and pans (I never scrub, I sprinkle baking soda on a wet pan and leave overnight. It wipes off effortlessly the next day.). It scrubs a tub or grimy sink. It deodorizes the fridge and removes those tough spills. It makes cleaning the stovetop easy. It removes trash can and diaper pail odors. All without scratching.

And you can use vinegar and baking soda together to declog your drains!

Now for some of the advantages of this approach to cleaning.

1) Green cleaning can save money. The 50/50 vinegar/water solution in a large spray bottle costs pennies. A gallon of vinegar lasts me several months. Buying cleaning cloths is much cheaper over the long run than buying paper towels.

2) Green cleaning saves time. No hunting for coupons and deals. Since a bottle of commercial all purpose cleaner costs around $3 and since the marketing machine has convinced us that we need a separate cleaner for each need/room of the house, many people spend a decent portion of their weekly food budget on cleaning products. So to save money they hunt for coupons and deals, often getting these products for nearly free. This takes time, and going to multiple stores.

3) You don’t run out as often because you can easily make (or wash) more. My homemade laundry detergent is an example. I make it 10 gallons at a time. Our large family uses this for months.And since some of the same ingredients I use for it also go into my homemade dishwasher detergent, I don’t have to buy that either! Ditto for cleaning cloths. You do laundry anyway so it’s no more work, and cleaning cloths work better than paper towels.

4) The kids can help, which saves you time. You can hand your toddler a spray bottle of vinegar/water and a cloth, and they’ll happily “help”. As they get older, they can help you make the cleaning products. My kids think it’s fun making laundry detergent. And you don’t have to worry about poisoning them.

Sadie at 3, washing dishes

More about simple cleaning:

There are a lot of great green cleaning products out there. I’ve reviewed plenty of them on this site, and I use some occasionally when I find a great deal. But the simpler method really is easier, and another advantage is that making your own uses far less packaging.

More articles about green cleaning:

Green Your Spring Cleaning
When Frugal Isn’t Best
Natural Glass and Window Cleaner Recipes

Now read what the other Green Moms Weekly participants have to say:

Rachel at HappyGreenBabies
Tiffany at NatureMoms

I’m reading Pride and Prejudice.

Not as fast as I’d like to, mind you. It’s the kind of book I could easily devour in one long session, with a pot of tea and a few pillows strategically arranged on the couch.

But there are all these kids that keep asking for dinner and such.

Still.

One of the things that struck me was how often the characters go out walking. Once Elizabeth even walked for several miles, one way, to go check on her sister who was visiting friends and had come down with a cold.

The beauty of this simple habit struck me.

Then I read Leo Babauta’s ebook Focus. The chapter on “How to Take a Walking Vacation” also got me to thinking. (You can download the book for free.)

I already walk every day, but just around my neighborhood. A couple of years ago, I lived in an urban area. I could walk to hot spots and restaurants, the Post Office, the grocery store, the park. And we often did. I LOVED it. Now? Not so much.

I started thinking about places I go that might be close enough to walk to.

Oh wait. What about the library? According to my phone, it’s only 1.3 miles from my front door. That’s less than 3 miles, round trip. And there are nice wide sidewalks the whole way there and back.

We set out.

It was a lovely, perfect November morning. Look at that sky.

Sadie wanted to know why there was so much trash on the grass, so we talked about how rude and wrong it is to litter.

We crossed a bridge over the Chattahoochee River. Something you can’t see when you’re driving over it.

We saw abandoned train tracks. An old abandoned coal-fired incinerator.

We talked about roadkill. A possum, a deer (at first we couldn’t tell whether it was a very large dog, but then we spotted a hoof).

We discussed whether the birds we saw circling overhead were hawks, getting ready to divebomb for a meal, or some kind of carrion bird, looking for roadkill.

We passed another walker, on her way to the bus stop. A biker, with the same destination. I reflected on how fortunate I am to have the choice of walking. I have a car that can shield me from inclement weather. And I don’t have to rely on public transportation. That’s a true blessing.

Walking is really a mindfulness meditation, isn’t it?

We decided to do this walk once a week for our library trip. Driving somewhere that is a mile away seems silly now.

Do you have any places you can walk to?

Oh my. I made the yummiest slow cooker soup. Kids loved it, hubs loved it, I loved it. Doesn’t get much better than that!

The homemade tortilla chips really topped it off too. You have to try making these. They’re so easy and yummy.

Slow Cooker Fiesta Soup with Homemade Tortilla Chips

(This makes a very full large slow cooker. You might want to cut the recipe in half if you’re feeding fewer people. This fed 8 with plenty of seconds and leftovers.)

• 6 cups chicken broth
• 2 -4 cups chicken, cooked, chopped
• 1 28 oz can diced tomatoes
• small can tomato paste
• 1 green pepper, chopped
• 1 onion, chopped
• 2 cups corn (frozen is fine)
• 2 or more cups black beans
• 2 or more cups pinto beans
• 2 tsp cumin
• 2 tsp chili powder
• 2 tsp sea salt
• 4 cloves garlic

Place all ingredients in slow cooker and cook for 8 hours on Low or 4-5 hours on High. A few minutes before serving, add a handful of chopped cilantro. To serve, place soup in bowls and top with cheese: we used Pepper Jack and cheddar. Diced avocado is lovely too!

To make the chips, preheat the oven to 350. Melt a little butter. Cut corn tortillas into 6 wedges. (A pizza cutter is perfect for this.) Brush wedges with melted butter and sprinkle with salt. Bake in a single layer on a baking sheet for 5 minutes or so until browned to your liking. They’ll be VERY hot when they come out of the oven, don’t touch them right away!

Enjoy

A few great posts from Novembers of yesteryear…

2007

- An interview with Marni Matyus on babywearing and kangaroo care (read the transcript) or you can listen to the interview.

- Learn how to conquer food cravings with The Cravings Coach

2008

- Peggy Webb of West River Academy on unschooling and eclectic homeschooling and what it means for your family.

- A simple, easy herbal first aid kit for your home.

2010

- Things I learned by watching the Babies documentary.

This week’s Green Moms Weekly topic is our last one focused on attachment parenting. It asks:

“How do you think attachment parenting enhances learning?”

It’s funny. As I write this post I’m reflecting back on a couple of conversations I had last week about homeschooling.

These conversations took place at different times. Both at the behest of two moms who are currently homeschooling but who are unhappy and totally stressed with their choices (both have their children enrolled in Georgia’s K12 program).

I mentioned one of the conversations, which took place via email, in my post on advice to a homeschooling friend. The second took place just last night, but my advice was very similar.

You know what I think is at the bottom of these two mother’s concerns?

Trust.

Trust in their abilities to educate their children.
Trust that their children will learn what they need to learn.
Trust that, despite being “experts” with letters after their names, they are enough to be their kid’s teacher.
And trust that their choices will be “right”, even when they’re swimming against the stream.

What does all this have to do with attachment parenting?

Everything.

Because attachment parenting is all about trust.

Trust that your body can give birth, something it was created to do.
Trust that your breasts will nourish your baby.
Trust that when your baby cries, he needs you.
Trust that doing what you know in your heart is right for your child and your family, even when it’s very different from those around you, is right and good.

It pains me when I observe so many parents being apologetic about listening to their children. I hear moms confess, almost with shame, that they bring their babies into bed with them at night… as if this was some kind of mothering failure.

This doubting oneself and one’s ability as a parent that begins in the first days of a baby’s life continue as that child grows up. It becomes a pattern.

And the funny thing is, we often trust people outside our families who have set themselves up as experts, but who in the end aren’t accountable for or responsible to our children.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

The friend I mentioned in my last blog post is quite hung up on choosing the “right” curriculum and the “right” approach. She wants me to come to her home so I can show her everything we do and use in our homeschool day.

This whole thing makes me uncomfortable because it’s not appropriate for ME to be positioned as some sort of authority for her family. She and her husband are more than capable of choosing a curriculum, or none at all, that is right for her and her kids. I have to decline her invitation.

Another way that attachment parenting enhances learning? It minimizes stress on the child. There’s a lot of research around this point, I won’t go into it all here, but there are many great books on the topic. Peaceful Parenting for a Peaceful World comes to mind.

A stressed child can’t learn as well as one who is securely attached.

Going back to the second mom I referred to above, her daughter is completely stressed and burned out on learning at all. She asked me how I got my kids excited about learning. I told her that one way is by not trying to recreate school at home. School is broken. I don’t want to do school at home, I want to create an environment that is conducive to learning.

That also means letting each child tailor their own education. Which goes back to trust.

Attachment parenting teaches babies and children that the world is mostly a good, safe place. That there are people you can trust to help you when you need it, that you will be accepted for who  you are as an individual.

All of this means that children can free up more energy to do what kids do… which is learn about the world and the people in it.

What do you think? How does attachment parenting enhance learning?

Read what Rachel and Tiffany have to say on this topic.

A few blog posts I enjoyed this week:

- 6 Strategies for Sibling Rivalry from Like Mother, Like Daughter. This whole site is wonderful, full of eye candy and awesome advice from a mom of young adults.

- This post about choosing Peace over Productivity came to me at just the right time.

- Be More With Less shares 50 Ways to Leave Your Clutter

- For the breastfeeding mamas: Get a free coupon for $1.50 off a box of Mother’s Milk tea

Enjoy your weekend!

I have a friend whose 2 young children (ages 8 and 5) have been enrolled in the Georgia K12 online public school for some time.

She sent me an email asking for help. To paraphrase:

“I never thought the day would come when I would say this, but K12 is getting out of hand. They have added too many things, and it’s getting very stressful to try to keep up with it. So I wanted to ask you if possible could you can give me a list of the books you use, because my husband and I have decided to drop it.

HELP!! I know I am always bothering you with all these homeschool questions, sorry.”

My response went something like this:

I don’t blame you. I don’t like the K12 program because it seemed overwhelming, and since the children are technically public schooled, just at home.

So I applaud you in wanting to create your own curriculum. It’s so nice to tailor your kid’s education towards their needs and yours!

I then gave her a list of the books that we use in our school day. Some of those can be found here: Five in a Row and here: How We Do Homeschool History and here: Organize your Homeschool Day with Kanban.

I also shared some tips on how to homeschool cheaply. But that wasn’t really what I wanted to answer. I really wanted to tell her this:

It’s not about the curriculum.

So I did. I went on to say:

We keep it simple and the kids can get all their school work completed in a couple of hours if they hustle.

That leaves the rest of the day for other kinds of learning.

Chores, time outside, reading together, etc… there’s so much learning that takes place in these ordinary activities.

Since we’re not tied to a curriculum we can make adjustments where needed and be flexible. Some days we might check out a few dozen books and just read all day long. Sometimes we watch an educational documentary or movie and discuss it together.

For me homeschooling this way feels like life.

There isn’t a big divide between “school time” and “not school time.”

And it isn’t stressful. Things just blend together.

I think the most important consideration when you’re figuring out “where to start” is to think about the future.

What do you and your husband really want your kids to learn?

It may look very different from what the state requires or what K12 or some other education “expert” says. And that’s ok!

We know our kids best. We know how they learn best, what they’re most interested in, etc. I often think about how people educated their kids before public school was invented. They taught them practical things, and how to read and write well. They taught them a trade, and the rest the kid learned on his own.

The state requires that we spend 4 1/2 hours a day in school, and include: reading, language arts, mathematics, social studies, and science. Don’t discount all that your children learn when you simply talk and worship together.

For example, when the kids and I read a few chapters in Leviticus yesterday we discussed and researched: quarantining, germs/bacteria, rabbits as chewers of the cud, etc. All that is science! The reading and research itself is language arts.

I have the benefit of a little more hindsight because my kids are a little older than yours, and I’ve seen how much they learn and grow with my relaxed homeschooling style.

Caleb has only spent a total of 6 weeks in public school, he’s in 8th grade and all of his schooling has taken place at home with me.

So take a deep breath and relax. Decide what’s really important to you and what you guys want to impart to your kids and work around that.

As for me, I wanted to instill a love of reading and learning with my kids. I always have my nose stuck in a book They’ve definitely picked that up.

I also want to teach them about entrepreneurship and good money management, so that’s part of the curriculum too from time to time. Julien is only 10 but he has a part time business selling on eBay, and he’s learning all sorts of valuable skills that way!

What advice would you add for this mom who is leaving the structure of the K12 program to venture out onto her own homeschool journey?

You might also like:

• Great homeschool books for your library
• First day back to homeschool 2011
• Homeschooling: Letting go of should

In my first 52 Bites post I briefly mentioned that I created a Homeschool Binder.

There it sits on our homeschool bookshelf, next to Story of the World.

Previously I kept homeschool paperwork in separate places. The kid’s books and workbooks are in the same place on a shelf in the living room – our “school” room.

Things like answer keys, homeschool attendance reports, copies of our local homeschool law, cool ideas and articles I’d clipped from magazines and the like were filed in my small portable file box.

That sounds ok.

Trouble is, I rarely looked at that file so a lot of the neat stuff in there was lost in oblivion.

I picked up a nice looking 3 ring binder at Barnes and Noble on the clearance table. (Don’t you love the clearance table at B&N? I also picked up two Wordly Wise workbooks at half price. Nice!)

It took me all of 5 minutes to place the following inside it:

• answer keys
• worksheets that I had printed
• lists of sight words for the upcoming reader
• Spanish vocabulary lists
• fun projects and ideas
• and other odds and ends that were floating in different places

Now it’s all in ONE spot. I grab it when I need it and put it back at the end of the school day.

Um, Why did I not do this earlier?

How do you organize your miscellaneous homeschool papers?

Have you ever read Seth Godin’s blog? He sometimes mentions “things that are broken“. It’s all about dumb things that marketers and governments do that just don’t work. The video is fun too.

As a mom, I’ve discovered plenty of things through the years that are broken. They just don’t work. At least, for me.

• Piggy banks. These are cute and fun to buy, but scarcely a week goes by until they’re busted open by the toddler. Also, it annoys me that the kids will open and reopen and steal from their savings all the time. So I keep their savings safe online at ING.
• Puzzles. I love to buy puzzles for the kids. I feel so artsy and stuff. But by the third day after bringing them home, several of the pieces have been chewed by the youngest child, a few have been kicked under furniture only to be retrieved next spring cleaning, and by then I’ve thrown it away since several pieces were missing.
• Robes. Robes seem like a good idea. Something for a kid to wear after a bath or shower, on his or her way to their bedroom. Maybe even saves a bit on towel laundry? Nah. Never works. The younger kids forget to use ‘em, and the older kids never want to get dressed when they have ‘em.
• Slippers. Ditto. The idea of kids in bunny slippers. So cute. But seriously, do I need more shoes around here to keep up with and put away? And what is the point of slippers, anyway? Around here they aren’t actually used, they’re just lost under beds gathering huge balls of dust.
• Galoshes. It just doesn’t rain enough here in Georgia to justify owning these. Again, they’re so darn cute. Grandmas buy them by the dozen each spring. But my kids don’t go outside when it rains. They hunker down with books and hot tea. If they DO venture outside, it’s to take a mud bath with one another, and footwear is not a requirement. Socks are part of the mudfight uniform, though!
  
• Complicated Chore Charts. Nah. I’m too tired lazy busy to keep up with that. I don’t even have the initiative to switch their chores periodically. I think it would be a good idea though, especially for the boys. They might be motivated to sit to pee if they had to clean up the puddles. And the girls might settle for only 3 changes of clothing a day if they had laundry duty.
• Reward Systems. Ditto. Around here it’s pretty simple. Obey? You get to keep living. Disobey? You don’t wanna know. (Nah, I wish I were that hardnosed. It’s more like obey? You get to keep all of your allowance and get that coveted kid’s cocoa from Starbucks. Disobey? Pick a slip of paper from the chore jar. (That dreaded glass jar of doom!) But, y’know, a mom can dream.)
• Outdoor vinyl blow up toys (slip n slide). These things are used for about 15 minutes each summer, then they sit outside to gather all the mud, leaves and rocks in the neighborhood. Finally when it’s slimy enough, me or hubby drag it to the trash can.

What things are broken around your home?

A few weeks ago, I downloaded Rachel Meeks’ ebook Simple Blogging. It seemed that most of my favorite bloggers were proudly displaying it on their sidebars, so I figured it must be good. Besides, I’ve been a fan of Rachel’s blog Small Notebook for a couple of years.

I printed the ebook out, headed to Starbucks and was blown away.

One of the things I admire about Rachel is her insistence on being herself, even if it’s different.

For instance, you won’t find her on Facebook or Twitter. Her blog doesn’t seem to be suffering for it.

This book literally changed my habits overnight. I’ll explain more later.

I asked Rachel some questions about her book, and her philosophies on blogging. Here are her answers.

1) I thoroughly enjoyed your ebook and believe it fills a real niche in the market. There are a lot of books that tell you how to launch your blog, market your blog, etc… but I love how yours encourages the writer to find a purpose and define their own success. How did you come to this conclusion?

I think that for whatever I do, I’m looking for the purpose in it, the end result. I don’t have time to spend on just anything.

Anytime you start something new, you don’t fully understand the extent of it or where it will go. Most of us when we tentatively start a blog for the very first time don’t have a clue about what could happen or the impact it might have on other people. That’s why I think it’s so important that as you progress and your blog grows, you know your purpose for that blog.

It can change–what might have started as something to do during your free time can become something more significant, or what you might have thought would reach a few people might suddenly reach a huge audience.

You have to define your purpose for blogging so that you can shape your efforts, your time management, and your goals around that purpose.

It looks different for everyone, so the book starts by helping you define your blogging purpose.

2) One of the tips I immediately implemented into my routine from your book was this: “Don’t read blogs before you write.” Simple but profound. Have you personally struggled with comparing your blog to other’s? How else did you overcome this?

I don’t really compare my blog to other people’s; I feel like mine is a bit different.

In the beginning I struggled to find a writing style that was uniquely mine because I was trying to learn from so many excellent bloggers, and now I can see the influence in my early posts.

Finally I learned that trying to write like someone else is so very boring for you and your readers, and I settled into a writing style.

But the main reason that I don’t read blogs before I write is that it distracts me.

If I have a creative idea for a blog post, I don’t want to get sidetracked by formulating a response to what someone else has already written. Let me write first while my own thoughts are the most clear, and then when I’m done, in my free time I’ll enjoy what creative things other people have written.

3) Another thing that’s changing my life is Evernote! Thanks so much for the recommendation. How do you use Evernote?

I still use Evernote every single day. I save notes, information, and clips from the internet. It’s basically my idea and inspiration folder. I use it for:

- blogging to write drafts and save post ideas
- recipes
- trip planning
- house hunting to keep track of the homes we toured
- decor ideas for the home renovation
- book planning and research
- favorite quotes and inspiration

I put each category into its own notebook, and I love that it’s free and so simple to use. I’m glad you like it too!

4) In your ebook you recommend that bloggers not endlessly edit before publishing. This seems to run counter to standard writing advice. Why do you think there is a difference?

Yes, definitely edit. For sure. Just don’t edit to the point that your writing gets stale. There’s a difference between editing for typos and changing your word choice a hundred times.

You want it to be conversational, so don’t edit the freshness or life out of it.

5) When I look at posts I wrote years ago, I shudder a little. Thankfully my writing has improved in the game. What are your best tips for improving as a writer?

I always cringe too, so I don’t go back to read earlier posts much either. I remember how long they took me to write, and I just think, “Really? All that time and that’s it?” I have a few old favorite posts though, and I’ve noticed that the posts that still make me smile were the most fun to write. If you dread doing it, if it’s a chore, just don’t.

I know I’m about to go contrary to the advice that you’re supposed to write every day, but I mostly wait for inspiration and then ride that wave. I want to write every day, but I don’t sit there and plunk something out at the keyboard just to come up with a certain number of words. I guess if I were trying to do this as a job I would feel more pressure to produce, but I usually just wait until I have something that I care about sharing. That’s when I feel the most joy in writing.

If your inspiration is high, take advantage of it and keep the momentum going. If it’s a bit dry, wait it out, do something else, and it will come back to you.
Thanks Rachel! 

As I see it, this ebook is very different from the many others on blogging, especially the”How to make money blogging” genre. The point of Simple Blogging is to help you be more efficient, so you can spend less time on the computer, but actually get more quality writing done, while enjoying your family. A great goal indeed!

Even though I’ve been blogging for nearly 10 years, I learned a lot of practical wisdom that I could immediately implement into my schedule.

For instance, I now do my writing early as part of my morning routine, instead of waiting for baby’s nap in the afternoon. It’s made a huge difference in my productivity! I’m getting far more words written without taking any time away from my family, which is my real motivation.

I also made some tough decisions. I untethered from Facebook (permanently – both my personal and my business page, and it was a great decision), started saying “No” more to irrelevant product pitch offers and other demands on my time (without guilt!), got my email inbox to ZERO and am (mostly) keeping it that way.

If you’re a blogger of any sort, I highly recommend this book. It will help you clarify your purpose and crystallize your goals. You can get your copy here: *Simple Blogging. Enjoy!