This week my kids are doing standardized tests.

I’m not administering these tests because I believe they’re valuable, but because I have to in order to comply with the law.

I have a problem with standardized testing, and the whole thing is making me irritable. I resent this intrusion of the state into my family life and parenting.

Since I don’t have to actually show the tests to any authorities, and if they showed up at my door and requested them I would flatly let them know that fact, it’s especially annoying that I have to stop TEACHING in order to test them.

I dislike standardized tests for several reasons. One, a standardized test proves that a child a) is good at testing (and doesn’t tell you how intelligent they are or how well they learn) and  b) has been taught what’s on the test.

“3. to choose or establish a standard for.”

Who should best decide what “standards” I set for my kid’s education?

“…And these words that I am commanding you today must prove to be on your heart; and you must inculcate them in your son and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up.” Deut. 6:6,7

(This is the primary reason I homeschool, so that I can do this teaching all day long.)

Since the state doesn’t give birth to my children, feed them in the night, clothe them, hold them when they’re sick, read stories for hours each day, worry when they begin toddling around, and teach them right from wrong, I don’t think they should get to decide what my kids learn and what assessments I use to gauge their learning. They have requirements for my homeschool, but don’t provide any assistance whatsoever. I buy my own school supplies, books, textbooks. I pay for field trips. I pay school taxes to support a system I don’t believe in.

The kids are doing well on these tests, incidentally. But it’s interesting to me that my 10 year old daughter, who is a wonderful student and reading constantly, is showing signs of test anxiety. I assured her that noone is going to see this test but me. I explained to her my feelings about testing so she understood where I stand, but she’s still stressed about it and did quite poorly on the  practice test.

“1. to bring to or make of an established standard size, weight, quality, strength, or the like: to standardize manufactured parts.”

Kids (like all people) don’t come standardized and I don’t believe their education should be either. There is no body of knowledge that every 10 year old or 14 year old “should” learn.

As I explained to my children, what if there was a test for all 40 year olds and the government demanded that 39 year old adults take it so we can “pass”? How would I do on the test? How would your dad do? What would be on the test? (And who gets to decide that?) Are we both intelligent? Do we know the same things? And does it matter?

How do you feel about standardized testing in your homeschool? Is there a requirement to do testing in your state?

August 13, 2012

11:07 PM – I can’t sleep through these contractions. Take note of the time. Could this be it?

For two solid weeks I’ve been experiencing “show” (which is why midwives refer to show as “a whole lot of nothing”). For a couple of weeks, cramping that kept me awake at night.

I start documents on my computer and fill random slips of paper with every little sign, little details about my day, anything that felt relevant.

August 14, 2012

12:09 AM – I get back up. Can’t sleep through these. Relocate to the couch where it feels cool. Prop myself up with pillows and begin to breathe and repeat the mantra I adopt: “Warmth, pressure, ooooopen….” . Remember to keep my lips loose.

Wake up to a balmy late summer morning, discouraged and heavy. 13 days past my due date.

All my other babies came early.

As illogical as it sounds, I feel that I will NEVER have this baby.

Glance at the bassinet beside my bed with longing and sadness. It feels almost like a grieving, as if I had been cheated.

I should be holding my little one by now.

6:30 AM – Take a bath. Musn’t be smelly if this is the real thing. Contractions slow. Take a nap (a “nap”? At 7 AM?).

Go for a walk with hubby, who has stayed home from work. I’ve been hauling my enormous belly around the neighborhood, feeling like a freak show, 2 miles a day, hoping it will loosen something up. Try not to think nasty thoughts about my neighbor, a woman who was due two weeks after me but who had her baby 5 days ago. Fake a smile when she tells me to “walk up that hill, that’ll put you into labor“.

Maybe if the only exercise you get is going from the TV to the fridge, I mutter to my husband through gritted teeth later. I hug him and cry a little bit, tired and discouraged. Contractions have petered out.

11:15 AM – Call the midwife back, and tell her NOT to come. Nothing’s been happening for hours. I feel foolish, like a little girl whose hand is caught in the cookie jar before dinner.

Use the bathroom…four times. Feel a tiny bit hopeful, as this is a sure sign for me, always.

11:45 – My husband takes Zoe to school. He had kept her home thinking that today would be the day. (She missed Ruby’s birth and we really wanted her around this time.) He goes to work. I feel relieved, not having people around waiting for me to go into labor, like a watched pot that never boils.

12:30 – Napping (again) with Ruby, woke up with a strong contraction. Get up, putz around. Nothing….

The blown up but empty birth pool and realistic baby doll that served as my focal point during labor

3:00 PM – Thankfully Ruby is napping too, as I need to concentrate now. My other children are with my Mom, so it’s just me in the house alone, for which I’m thankful.

I take a moment to write down 3 scriptures: Philippians 4:13 – “…for all things I have the strength by virtue of him who imparts power to me.” – 1 John 4:18 – “There is no fear in love.” – Jeremiah 1:8 – “Do not be afraid, for I am with you to deliver you.”

Put the piece of paper on my dresser so I can read it over and over.

Contractions begin again suddenly and take everything I have to manage.

Ruby wakes up, and I’m almost thankful because her presence forces me to act calm. I feel intense back pressure. It’s hard to stand up, I lean over my dresser and halfway squat a lot. Something powerful is pulling me, hard, towards the ground.

I grab the baby doll and look at it intently during contractions, reminding myself, often out loud, that “it’s a baby. That’s what this is. That’s why I’m doing this. That pressure is the baby coming.”

At this point I begin calling out to God, out loud, over and over. The contractions are coming right on top of one another and I can’t move or wrap my head around them.

Jehovah. Jehovah. Jehovah. Jehovah help meeee!! Hearing my own voice out loud seems to bring me back to reality.

4:30 – Somehow I manage to get my phone and call my husband. I breathlessly tell him to HURRY home. He calls the midwives and gives them the same message.

4:45 – Hubby is home and brings the pool, which was blown up weeks ago, upstairs to the kitchen. The contractions and pressure are so strong that I cannot use my legs. I pick up one leg and then the other, over and over, as if I were stepping on hot coals.

“…warmth…pressure…ooooopen….” I repeat at each contraction.

“… the baby’s coming… toooooo fast!…” I say to my husband, who comes in and out of the room to check on me. I grab him firmly by the shoulders and tell him, “Please remind me what I’m doing. Please keep telling me the baby is coming! And please don’t look scared.”

He reemerges and informs me the pool is full if I want to get in.

“I would love to… but I can’t walk!”

“Would you like me to carry you?”

The thought of him chivalrously carrying me to the kitchen, as ungainly and awkward as I am at my current weight, makes a funny image pop into my head and we laugh together for a minute. I’m thankful for the comic relief.

With his help I somehow crawl to the kitchen. The pressure is so intense, I cannot stand upright.

5:00 – I get into the pool.

Rocking from side to side, gripping the sides of the pool seems to help. I know I’m wiggling the baby down.

A particularly strong contraction hits me. I lean forward and plant a long kiss on my husband, which seems to make things open up on the other end of my body and give me a little relief. (Must’ve been a good one, judging by the smile on his face.)

I know it’s only minutes away.

I’m vaguely aware of the fact that one of the midwives has arrived. They haven’t touched me yet, only standing back to let it unfold. I hear my parents and the kids. I don’t want the kids watching just yet. It’s taking everything I’ve got to keep it together, and I’m afraid I will lose it if they talk to me or touch me.

I hear this loud, undulating howl come from deep inside my throat. I can’t control it, and I’m not even sure it’s me. (My mom said later that it sounded like a Native American war cry.)

I reach inside and feel something soft and slimy … for some reason I don’t really understand, I crook my finger like a crochet hook and break it. I feel the baby’s head just past the waters as they rush out.

“Did you just break your water?“, asks my midwife with a raised eyebrow.

“Umm… yes… is that ok?“, I feel like that naughty girl again.

“Of course! It’s your birth, you can do what you want!” was the reply (or something like that).

My body curves into a “C” shape. Briefly, the image of our neighbor’s dog squatting on my lawn pops into my head, and I realize that must be what I look like right now. Again I laugh at myself and am thankful for a little levity.

5:30 PM -

Victoria Helen Willard, born August 14, 2012

We love you Baby V. Why did it take me so long to write my birth story?

I’m not exactly sure.

Perhaps because it took me 2 months to recover from the birth. Moms say they want a fast birth, but I would prefer to labor for 8 hours than 2.5! A fast labor compresses all the work into a short period of time and is more painful and intense. It was wonderful, but hard on me.

It was so short that it was hard to make any memories. I’m so thankful that I had the presence of mind to jot down brief notes on paper. For weeks after V’s birth, I would look down at her and think, “Oh… that’s right, you’re here!“. It was surreal.

I remember reading Little Women as a teenager and, like most people, enjoying it very much. I wanted my girls to read the book (or to read it aloud to them), so I picked it up again to re-read it.

What’s interesting about re-reading books I loved as a child is that, as a mother, I enjoy them from a completely different perspective. 

This go round, instead of identifying with the awkward, when-will-I-fit-in Jo, I found that I related to Marmee. Before, I didn’t think much about her character. As I read the book it struck me that Marmee was a very wise woman, and that moms living in the 21st century can learn a lot from her. A few examples:

photo credit: bluebirdsandteapots

Marmee let her children learn without too much lecturing. 

When the girls decided to laze about and do nothing for a week during their summer break, Marmee allowed the experiment. Within days, the girls were irritable, nervous and bored – which is exactly what Marmee knew would happen. The linchpin was when she herself took the day off to demonstrate how unattractive selfishness really is. I love what she says here about work:

“…so I thought, as a little lesson, I would show you what happens when everyone thinks only of herself. Don’t you feel that is is pleasanter to help one another, to have daily duties which make leisure sweet when it comes, and to bear and forbear, that home may be comfortable and lovely for us all?”

It would have been easier to just tell the girls to keep doing their chores, but they would never have learned the valuable lesson that….

“Work is wholesome… it keeps us from ennui and mischief, and is good for health and spirits, and gives us a sense of power and independence better than money or fashion.”

Marmee gave her children a wide berth.

Since she had her own interests (her charity work, for example), Marmee didn’t make the mistake of making her children her entire existence. She also encouraged the grown and married Meg “not to forget her duty to her husband out of love for her children”, and kept her own marriage at the forefront.

The girls had a lot of freedom to pursue their own interests and play, even though the two oldest had to work for pay.

Marmee waited for the right time to offer advice.

When the aforementioned Meg complained about her husband leaving her for more interesting company once the twins were born, Marmee had been concerned for some time about the situation. She held her tongue until Meg asked her for help.

I love what she had to say to the harried and stressed new little momma… in a nutshell, it was:

• Get some exercise
• Don’t drink too much caffeine
• Let your husband help with the kids more
• Get help with the babies so you can get out once in awhile

I love this quote:

“She (Meg, after the birth of her twins) was nervous and worn out with watching and worry, and in that unreasonable frame of mind which the best of mothers occasionally experience when domestic cares oppress them. Want of exercise robs them of cheerfulness, and too much devotion to that idol of American women, the teapot, makes them feel as if they are all nerve and no muscle.”

Marmee advises Meg:

… let John (the twin’s father) hve more to do with the management of Demi (the strong-willed boy twin)… let Hannah come and help you; she is a capital nurse, and you may trust the precious babies to her while you do more housework. You need the exercise, Hannah would enjoy the rest, and John would find his wife again.

Go out more, keep cheerful as well as busy, for you are the sunshine-maker of the family, and if you get dismal there is no fair weather…. Don’t shut yourself up in a bandbox because you are  woman, but understand what is going on, and educate yourself to take your part in the world’s work, for it affects you and yours.”

Sage advice for avoiding postpartum depression, I’d say.

Did you love Little Women? Have you read it again as an adult? What were your thoughts?

p.s. My kids have caught Little Women fever. After finishing the book, I rented the 1994 movie adaptation (which happens to star several of my favorite actresses). We watched it one evening, and even the boys enjoyed it more than they let on, I believe. The next day the girls watched it again and 11 year old Julien joined them.

“Oh Jo, how could you? Your one beauty”, has become a favorite line around here. The girls are building a town called Concord in the basement, complete with school, bank and nursery, and Zoe picked up my well-worn copy of the book and began reading it herself.

p.p.s. The Kindle version of Little Women is free at the moment!

…or, How To Get Your Kids To Stop Opening Your Packages.

But the former title made you click, didn’t it?

I feel obliged to share a text conversation that took place between my 11 year old son and myself. You see, whenever I get a package in the mail, my kids all run to ask if they can open it.

Today Julien stayed home while I went to the grocery store, so when this package arrived, his curiosity got the better of him, so he texted me.

Julien: You got a package in the mail, can I open it? From FedEx ground.

Me: Ok.

Julien: Was that a yes or a no?

(What a smartypants. Sounds like his Mother.)

Mom: Yes

Julien: Thanks

(….waiting….waiting….)

Me: What is it?

Julien: Julien: It’s a bra

Me:  Hahahahaha

I’m pretty sure this is a “YIKES” face in all cultures.

That’ll learn ‘em.

{pretty, happy, funny, real}

This morning a few of us woke up with a sore throat. Ilana felt cold, so she and Sadie snuggled into her robe. Best friends and worst enemies (at times), these two.

I made potato soup for everyone. It’s great comfort food, cheap and nutritious, and wonderful when people are under the weather. Or when the weather is yucky. Or anytime. One can use any excuse to make potato soup!

I shared a recipe here on my page about cheap eats.  Since then I’ve tweaked it a bit. I never measure, so adjust to your own tastes and family size.

Uncle Fred’s Famous Potato Soup, Carrie Style

- Snip a few slices of bacon (kitchen shears make this easy, or use a knife) into lots of pieces, and begin cooking on low in a large soup pan. You don’t want them to brown, just give off lots of flavor and fat!
- Dice onions (or shallots) and celery and maybe a carrot (for color and visual interest) and add to bacon.
- Peel (or not) several potatoes and chop, add to the pot.
- Add just enough water to cover and simmer on low/med until soft (about 15 minutes)
- Sometimes I take a blenderful out, puree it then pour it back in. It gives the soup a thicker body. But you don’t have to do this. I also love this soup with leeks, it makes it sweet and yummy!
- Add lots of salt, pepper, and a dash of cumin. (Trust me!)
- Now pour in lots of milk, and if you have it, some cream. The soup is ready to serve to little kids at this point, but warm it a bit for adults.

Soooooo delicious.

Speaking of potatoes and leeks, I made Pioneer Woman’s Potato Leek pizza last night and it was delish. I love her cookbooks and both of mine are falling apart.

Caleb and I also made her Cinnamon Rolls…. and Oh.Mah.Gawd. they were divine. Only, next time I plan on cutting the sugar by about half. And I made them with coconut oil instead of vegetable oil.

I have a freezer full of cinnamon rolls for the next few Sunday breakfasts!

Ruby just had to wear Hitchie in the Baby Hawk yesterday.

Why do kids get to a certain age and decide they have to make weird faces for the camera?

And, is there anything sweeter than a sleeping Daddy/Baby shot?

I didn’t think so.

Linking to Our Mothers Daughters

This week I interviewed Dr. Lon Jones of CommonSenseMedicine.

Dr Jones is an osteopathic family physician and an expert on xylitol. His interest in xylitol began when he used it successfully to treat his granddaughter’s recurrent ear infections. He then applied what he learned to his medical practice.

You may have heard of xylitol before while researching  dental health. Xylitol, derived from birch bark, is a natural sweetener that does not contribute to tooth decay.

Multiple studies have shown that xylitol reduces the incidence of cavities, and that this result continues even after the use of xylitol ends.

[Side note: my Father old me that his 4 Great-Aunts chewed on birch bark to care for their teeth (they lived before the era of convenient drugstores and toothbrushes!), which I thought was interesting. The Native Americans also used birch bark in this way.]

Dr. Jones is sharing:

• How xylitol prevents tooth decay.
• How much xylitol to use for maximum effectiveness
• Whether xylitol is “natural” or not
• Concerns about the safety and possible side effects
• What the Finns know that we don’t
• How to choose oral care products for maximum benefit
• Other uses of xylitol including prevention of ear infections in kids and as a sinus rinse
• How using a neti pot is like douching (yikes!) and more

Mentioned on the show:

• My family uses Earthpaste, and its number 2 ingredient is xylitol
• Dr. Jones recommended the books The Boids and the Bees and  Why We Get Sick
• Xlear (pronounced “klear”) nasal spray to soothe and cleanse nasal passages

Linking up with Simple Homeschool for their Day in the Homeschool Life series. I’m not vain enough to think that anyone wants to see the minutiae of my day, I do these posts for myself, as a reminder of all that I do in the course of the day that looks like nothing yet leaves time for nothing else.

7 AM, the earliest I manage to awake these days. I miss my morning time mightily, but try to appreciate these warm sleepy mornings snuggling with a baby knowing they’ll pass so quickly. I attempt unsuccessfully to disengage so I can take a quick shower but it isn’t happening, so I decide to balance a laptop on my knees while rocking and nursing V. I take this time to finish up an article I’m writing for a Fiverr client. Ironically, it’s on breastfeeding.

Hubby brings me a cup of coffee. It’s a small cup, and cut with boiling water so I don’t get too much caffeine. This is our morning ritual.

7:42 – The boys are up and headed to the kitchen to start pancakes. I usually cook breakfast but they decided they wanted pancakes this morning and got an early start.

Still writing, trying to get the word count up to 1200. The 2.5 year old is up now, to my chagrin. It’s a bit too early and she’s grumpy.Thankfully she decides to shadow her daddy all around the house. She calls him Zeke. It’s complicated.

7:54 Ah. 1274 words. I like to over deliver. Apparently this client is happy because she’s ordered many articles from me. I put the laptop aside and get dressed and change the baby. Her diaper is cold and stiff from being hung outside overnight. She doesn’t seem to mind. My deodorant is missing from the bathroom. I recover from the temporary mind blow that is “I have kids old enough to steal my deodorant.” Retrieving it from the girl’s room, I notice they’re cleaning up, which pleases me, because it’s Friday which is room deep cleaning day.

Make the bed – sort of, one-handed, with a baby on my hip. Mascara, concealer under my eyes. Lip balm.

Check on breakfast progress in the kitchen. Ruby is asking for yogurt and pie. She gets neither, since I don’t let her eat inbetween meals or she will create all kinds of drama at the table. She decides to lie facedown on the floor in protest. She has temporarily misplaced her father which produces screams of anguish. “He can’t find meeeee!”

Briefly fantasize about hiring a French au pair to whip her into shape. She finds her daddy and all is right with the world again. (How dare he venture into the shop to get ready for work!?) Her next request is to jump on the cham-po-ween.

Hubby asks me if there’s anything new on his to-do list. (His idea, not mine, and no, you can’t have him.)

Manchild Caleb, 14, walks my stepdaughter Zoe to the bus stop. (She is in public school. My husband didn’t have the best impression of homeschooling until he married me. Her educational future is currently under renegotiation.)

When manchild arrives back, I decide there isn’t enough food left for a Growing Boy so I fry him two more eggs. I have noticed that there is a direct correlation between how many pieces of bacon I eat and my emotional resilience. I decide today is a 3 piece of bacon day. Someone oughta do a study. Oh, wait.

I hug and kiss hubby out the door. Pause here. Niiiiiice.

….and wipe the kitchen counters, start dishes soaking for Julien. I can’t think with a dirty kitchen.

I issue various and sundry warnings and admonitions at the breakfast table. “We don’t throw food Ruby we say “no thank you”. “Please put your bottom lip back into your head Ilana.” “No namecalling.” “Ask nicely please.”

9 AM: Everyone’s dressed. Bible reading. We used to do several chapters, but now we just do one or two, so we have more time to discuss it. Psalms 52 and 53. I nurse the baby and then she plays on the floor next to me and Ruby.

Girls run off to finish cleaning their room. Ruby seems settled now after nursing a bit. (Yes, I’m tandem nursing.) I snuggle two warm bodies into my lap and we read a story.

Oldest begins his work, which he does independently, only coming to me to report what he’s covered that day. He and his brother use Khan Academy for math. Caleb is studying trigonometry.

The girls ask me to inspect their room, and when it passes muster they start math. I help Sadie with bar graphs. Ruby pushes her huge overstuffed, one-eyed bear around the room in a stroller, then requests my assistance potty training “Hitchie”.

Julien The Procrastinator decides to create drama with his sister by a) jumping in the coveted chair next to her and b) attempting to gas her out by farting repeatedly.

I send him outside with Ruby to jump on the cham-po-ween. It takes them nearly 10 minutes to get her jacket on and Hitchie all ready.

Quick homeschooler joke by Caleb: Why doesn’t Dave Ramsey do trigonometry? … because he doesn’t cosine.

Baby, tucked into the sling, is nursed and patted to sleep for her morning nap.

I go back and forth between the girls helping them with math. They’re both being a bit needy this morning. They don’t usually require this much assistance. I give them a pep talk about Hard Things Are Good For You and tell them that the phrases “This is too haaaaaard” and “I caaaaan‘t” aren’t allowed in my home and that challenges are things to be overcome and that things you have to learn become easy once you learn them.

I feel like Jo in Little Women when she exclaimed, “I hate affected, niminy-piminy chits!” (I refuse to raise niminy-piminy chits.)

I get an email from Caleb, he’s shared his writing assignment with me via Google docs. I read it. In an attempt to discourage his brother’s procrastination, he then proceeds to tell Julien that I’m writing about his silly antics on my blog. Caleb has apparently sneaked a peek. I pick up the laptop and run, Julien gives chase, and the baby stares up at us with saucer eyes.

Caleb practices his guitar – a new song he’s learning by The Traveling Wilburys.

I create a child account for Sadie at Khan Academy as she wants in on the fun. (I generally eschew the use of computers for schoolwork but Khan Academy is my one exception!) She and Ilana finish up their math using KA.

I pull Ruby into my lap and we rock in the rocking chair while she eats an apple. I sing a song to her that I’m trying to help her memorize. It’s called “Pray Anytime”. After we sing it a few times I let her watch the video on my phone.

I start boiling chicken thighs for tonight’s Tortilla Soup.

11:00 – We take a break for chores and to start lunch. The boys reboot the dishwasher and washing machine. I make carottes rapees. (That’s fancy talk for grated carrot salad.) Caleb makes tuna sandwiches.

We sit down to eat, which elicits a grand mal tantrum from Ruby. It takes several minutes for her to settle down after the horrible injustice of being buckled into her high chair.  I know some of you may think it’s cruel to expect a 2 year old to sit and eat her food quietly, but when a toddler makes mealtime stressful for the other 8 members of the family, SHE must change. I instantly regret letting her sneak that apple earlier, because now she won’t eat, which means that 20 minutes after lunch is done, she’ll start asking for snacks. After sternly charging (using impromptu sign language) the other kids to ignore her, doing my best to remain emotionally cool (and after relocating her high chair outside, her still in it) she decides it’s no longer worth it to scream and agrees to eat a little cheese, after I insist she ask nicely. She also has to take “just one bite” of carrot salad and tuna.

11:40 – Every meal is stressful right now because of Ruby’s antics, and the baby also insists on being nursed as soon as she smells food, which means I generally gobble down my food with one hand and an accompanying backache. You would think that I would figure out, after 5 months, to nurse her before I sit down to eat, but I never do. Lunch is over, but I hardly feel satisfied.

Caleb sends me a new writing assignment to check. I read over it and make a suggestion.

I send Ilana outside to watch over Ruby. Jumping on the cham-po-ween is always a winner.

Language with Sadie. I nurse the baby while doing a lesson on nouns. I’m thankful for the chance to sit down, because that niggling pain in my midback has turned into a full on scream that makes it hard to breathe.

12:20 – Writing: Dictation with Ilana and Julien. It’s gorgeous out so we head to the deck and take Ruby so she can ride on her tricycle. It takes a long time. This is our first year doing dictation so it’s a new skill for these two.

12:35 – I take a quick break to nurse the baby again and rest. I chat with Julien and Ruby begins tickling my feet and tells me “Mommy you snell wike poop“. Julien, too, apparently “snells wike poop” so I’m not offended.

I fend off requests. “Mom can I get on the computer? Mom can I watch a movie? Mom can I watch a video? Mom can we go somewhere? Mom can I have a cell phone?”

No.No.No.No. Hail naw.

(And actually, I do end up buying a Tracfone, just for emergencies. We don’t have a land line and I sometimes feel nervous about that. Hubs and I don’t believe that kids and cell phones mix.)

I turn away excessive demands for my help. “Mom what’s 6X8?” “Mom how do I spell Willy Wonka?” “Mom do I capitalize ‘fortitude’?”

It’s your job to figure that out kiddo.

1:11 – Caleb is finished with his work so he goes downstairs to play Wii. The other kids play on the gymnastics equipment for a bit while I do writing with Sadie. I read a passage from The Saturdays, have her summarize it, then she does copywork.

Meanwhile, I burn the chicken. Or maybe it’s the beans. I dunno, what’s that smell? The baby has fallen asleep in my lap and I don’t want to get out of the recliner.

1:35 – History with Ilana and Julien. We read about the Inca. They answer my questions about the passage we read and I send them off with a brief reading assignment.

Caleb comes up from the basement and prepares a pot of tea for le goûter. I snuggle with Ruby while she eats a coconut macaroon. (Snacking is fine at snacktime, just not every 20 minutes all day long!) I ask her if I still smell like poop. She says no. I’ve come up in the world.

The mail truck passes by and several children run outside screaming. First Caleb brings me a cup of tea, then Julien (see a pattern? I do have these men of mine trained!) I drink two cups, hoping it gives me the energy to get through the second half of my day.

I decide to skip language with Julien and Ilana today since we did a very long lesson yesterday. That means we’re done with school for the day.

Ruby insists on having her “diaper changed” (she’s been potty trained for months) and climbs up on the changing table, naked. I play along, just this once.

2:33 - We do a quick tidy of the living/dining room. Apparently the tea did the trick because I feel like taking the kids to the thrift store. At red lights, Caleb rubs the sore spot in my back.

Miraculously I find something I’ve been wanting for weeks: a pair of skinny jeans! This brings my pants-that-fit total up to a whopping TWO pairs (my husband says my wardrobe is a little too minimalist.). I also picked up an antique French glass jar, identical to the one that used to hold my kitchen utensils but that sadly broke last week. Score!

I’ll get to the exercises in this book, I promise….

4:22 – We’re back home. I strap a screaming baby into the Baby Hawk and start dinner.  She falls asleep, thankfully, and Ruby plays with her big sisters for a few minutes. They have a bag of naked Barbies from the thrift store. Julien unloads the dishwasher, for the second time today (it won’t be the last).

4:44 – Hubby is home, Ruby spots him while she’s outside with Ilana. He takes over Ruby duty. At around 5 he and I step out for a walk. He normally lets Ruby walk, but this time he puts her in a backpack, and I have Victoria in the Baby Hawk. This is our time to discuss our day and generally chit chat. Ruby falls asleep, which is bad news, since she will now be very difficult to get to bed tonight. Eating and sleeping are issues with this girl at the moment! It’s not all bad. She has moments of pure sweetness, not to mention comic relief.

After our walk, with two sleepy babies, we sit and read for a bit. I look at the blogs in my Google reader, him The Anarchist’s Tool Chest.

Dinner. The baby is old enough to sit in a high chair, so Caleb buckles her in. (I remember to nurse her before dinner this time!!) She throws toys and hubby repeatedly retrieves them. I put a piece of avocado on her tray, just to see what happens. She smashes it repeatedly with her hands. Fun stuff! I’ll start offering her food in a couple of weeks.

6:22 – Dinner is done, hubby reads a Bible text. We discuss it. I lie on the sofa and work on this post. Hubby brings me a glass of wine.

I. KNOW.

The kids do their evening chores, and hubby helps me finish tidying up the table and the kitchen.

Ruby awakes, grumpy. He rocks her while Caleb starts a batch of brownies and Ilana works on cream cheese frosting. Julien is on his iPod, which has been calling to him all day.

7:30 – Family read aloud. Right now it’s Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH.

Writing a “day in the life” posts is a bit like writing a birth story. It’s not really possible to include every detail. There were many times I drank a glass of water, changed a diaper, helped defuse a sibling argument, reminded a child to get busy already, removed the baby from under the sofa from where she gets stuck after crawling backwards across the living room. I spoke calmly to a toddler while she created Richter scale fits. I picked up endless empty glasses from various areas around the house. Located lost shoes and socks.

I herded cats and created spaghetti bookends.

- The list of tools we use for our homeschool curriculum is here.

{pretty, happy, funny, real}

Do you believe in the equilibrium/disequilibrium theory of child development?

I do.

Wholeheartedly.

I wonder if adults experience the same?

{pretty}

(Two pretty girls and a pretty big brother against a pretty backdrop of greenery.)

If so, then I’m definitely in a period of disequilibrium right now.

Nothing I do seems to be working very well. And I can’t seem to make my goals happen.

Two steps forward, one step back. Just like a toddler who screamed most of the morning.

I’m definitely not in a pretty phase at the moment.

{happy}

Although I did discover a recipe for “Minimalist Bread”.  And it’s so super simple that even *I* can’t screw it up. It’s so yummy.

Minimalist bread makes me happy

{funny}

The boys think that every person resembles an animal. And they say Victoria is a mouse.

Does she have a future as a Mouseketeer?

{real}

Hey, who says hand-me-downs aren’t cool? She waited eagerly to grow into this one. Size: 9 months.

RockRockRockRock Rock 'n Roll High School

One of the best live shows I ever saw, circa 1993, with Social Distortion opening.

Did I ever tell you that I just recently found out that the Ramones weren’t actually brothers?

I’m a little slow.

(Linked to Our Mothers Daughters, probably the most encouraging little blog that ever was. Don’t we all wish we had an Auntie Leila?!)

A clean freak I am not.

I tend to care more about order. For instance, I’m a little OCD about my books. They’re always neat, and organized by color. (I’ve tried other systems, but this one makes the most sense to me! It’s visually pleasing.)

I make sure the kitchen is always clean. It gets cleaned after every meal, with help from my 11 year old son. The sink and stove are nice and shiny before I go to bed. And the bathroom gets a once over by my 7 year old daughter every day. These are the most important areas to me because dirtiness here can impact our health.

That being said,  I definitely like using cleaning products that make the whole cleaning experience a) easier and b) more pleasant.

Go ahead and strip me of my natural mom card, but I do not clean with vinegar!

I don’t like my home smelling like a pickle factory (and yes, I’ve tried mixing essential oils in with it, doesn’t work!), and I find that it just doesn’t clean things as well as I want it to.

Vinegar doesn’t make the chrome in my bathroom shine, and it doesn’t cut grease as well as soap does. (For most of my cleaning, I use a super simple mixture of 1 tablespoon castille soap in a spray bottle of water.)

The folks at Celadon Road sent me a selection of cleaning products. Their company aims to use organic and eco-friendly ingredients, and they have a home business opportunity because their products are marketed through direct sales. (Which is pretty cool and not smarmy like multi-level marketing.)

They gave me: Lavender Eucalyptus All Purpose Cleaner, Lemon Mint Glass Cleaner and Lavender Laundry Detergent.

First, the bad news.

I didn’t care for the Lemon Mint Glass Cleaner at all, because it was kinda streaky.

The ingredients were impressive though: Water, Club Soda, Lemon Juice, Peppermint Essential Oil, and Cornstarch.

Nothing questionable there.

It smelled lovely and worked just fine as a counter spray, but for glass and windows and my stove it left something to be desired.

They claim that the scent repels flies which would definitely be a plus here in the summer.

I did really like the Lavender Laundry Detergent (it’s available in other scents too, like Cedarwood, shown to the right – which would be lovely on hubby’s things!).

It smelled wonderful (duh- lavender!) and cleaned extremely well, and it worked fine for cloth diapers too, at least in the short term – but because it contains essential oils, my suspicion would be that over time it would lead to problems. Essential oils leave a coating on the diapers that makes them repel water. Ditto for towels.

But my favorite product of the 3 by far was the Lavender Eucalyptus All Purpose Cleaner. I simply loved it. It smelled amazing – even my 11 year old son, who is sensitive to odors, asked me, “Mom! What is that wonderful smell?!” after I used it. It made the entire house smell amazing.

It was also very effective. It worked great as a counter spray, it cleaned my stove well, and it worked wonderfully on wood too. I didn’t use it to clean my bathroom, but the tea tree and eucalyptus oils would be good for killing mildew.

Celadon Road also offers home decor, stuff for pets and kids, jewelry, skin care, kitchen goodies and men’s stuff. Definitely worth checking out.

Have you tried any Celadon Road products? What were your thoughts?

“Put down the book, Ilana. It’s time to do history.”

Even as I’m saying it, I realize it sounds weird. She’s absorbed in a thick novel, reading it for the second time.

(I didn’t homeschool so we could have School at Home. But the temptation is always there. Control. Me, me, me.)

“Julien, please put the guitar away. It’s time for history.”

(History is his favorite subject, but he was serenading the baby….)

We get history “done”. We look at a picture of a quipo. I consider having the children make one, so they can keep track of things. Like how many times they are kind to sibling. Or how many times they do their chore. Me, me, me.

Good thing we don’t have any string.

I go to the kitchen for a second to find something. I go back into the living room to see how everyone’s doing with their math, only the children have all scattered.

I want to feel irritated. The baby quiet on my hip, I engage in momentary self-pity.

“Why am I always having to chase these two down!?”

Then I look out the window. It’s a beautiful day. I watch.

The boy and girl, objects of my pursuit, are outside on the trampoline. The boy is holding a toddler’s hands carefully so she can jump without falling over the side. She isn’t crying anymore about her scratched eye.

I decide to breathe. And let go of the tension to Get Things Done.

History can wait a bit.

Yes?

[Note: Don't forget to enter to win the giveaway of organic papaya products here. You have until Wednesday and there are only a few entries!]

The other day an online friend emailed to ask when the baby was due.

Baby V turned 5 months old on the 14th.

I did not approve this development. Hmph. Kids these days.

Time truly flies.

She now has 2 teeth, and wasted no time in experimenting with them. I think I jumped a foot off the rocking chair when it happened.

Now I have to be cautious with her because if I try to nurse her when she’s not really in the mood, she’ll take a nip out of boredom. First she gets that little mischievous look in her eye.

Thankfully she responds well when I ask her not to bite in a “no nonsense” tone. I’ve had a couple of persistent biters in my time, and she doesn’t seem to be one of them. For her it seems to be more about just feeling these new weird things in her mouth and seeing what they can do. She often sucks on her teeth like an old person.

Speaking of nursing, just for fun I decided to make a check mark on a piece of paper to see how often she nurses during the day. From around 8 AM to 9:30 PM, I put 17 checks on the paper. That does not include all the time she nurses during the night either!

You know my favorite thing?

The way her feet curl up on my arm. The toes are the best. So velvety soft and adorable. I will miss that.

Even she can’t resist munching on them!

My guest this week is Jessica Oren of HerbalPapaya.com.

We’re talking about the many benefits and uses of papaya for health and well-being.

Among other things,  papaya has been show to:

* support the blood
* strengthen the immunity
* great for birth and after as a comforting herbal sitz bath
* pain relief
* papaya is great for kids – it’s low in sugar and nutrient dense
* helps acid reflux/heartburn in pregnancy
* traditionally the seeds are used for parasites
* autoimmune illness.

Here is a link with more information on the health benefits of papaya.

Jessica shares how she uses papaya in her family’s natural healing tool chest and that science is just scratching the surface of the benefits of papaya for health.

She is also giving away a selection of Organic Papaya Leaf products to a listener!

In order to enter, please leave a comment below. A winner will be randomly chosen on Wednesday, January 23 at Noon Eastern time.

Thanks for listening!

What do you have planned this weekend?

As a reminder, the HealThy Mouth summit is launching tomorrow. I’ll be tuning in for sure.

Next week, my 11 year old is getting an ALF (advanced lightwire functional). The ALF is an example of “functional orthodontics”, which is superior to the traditional orthodontic model of pulling teeth/braces. I’ll be posting a lot more about this and the research that led to my choosing the ALF for my son next week.

In the meantime be sure to sign up (FREE) for the HealThy Mouth summit and learn from some of the … leading leaders in unusual methods. (If you can name that movie you get a gold star from me!)

Speaking of weekends, do yours need an upgrade?

I recently read another of of Laura Vanderkam’s ebooks, What the Most Successful People Do on the Weekend: A Short Guide to Making the Most of Your Days Off

For several months now I’ve realized that my weekends needed a bit of an upgrade. Hubby and I enjoy doing things outdoors when the weather is nice, but during the winter we tend to get a little blase about recreation.

After reading Laura’s book, I realized we were doing a few things right already. For instance, we take a “Screen Sabbath” every Sunday. No laptops, no video games, no smart phones. No email! Honestly, that last point is hardest for me and hubby because we tend to pick up our phones absentmindedly. It’s out of habit instead of need.

I also (attempt!) to cook less on the weekends. Even though I enjoy cooking, it can be laborious done three times a day, day in and day out. But taking 9 people out to eat is neither relaxing nor how we wish to allocate our money. So I still have to cook, but I try to make things that can be reheated (soups and stews) as well as easy sandwiches and soups.

We also sometimes plan a small project that gives us (at least, the adults!) a sense of satisfaction. Something like a small decluttering project, such as cleaning out the basement. The kids are the ones who nasty it up so we enlist their help. With all of us working, we can tidy it in less than an hour, but it gives us an energy boost for weeks to walk into a cleaner basement.

I also make a to-do list on Sunday nights for the following week. I love waking up on Monday morning knowing what’s what.

Last but not least, I try to make sure I have a good book for the weekend. The last few weeks I haven’t had anything good to read and I was so frustrated when I had a pocket of time with sleeping babies and occupied kids… and no book to settle into!

Weekends are supposed to be restorative, but as Laura points out, not making some kind of plan means we don’t make the most of that time. We have as “anchor events” our volunteer work and worship that takes place every weekend, but that leaves a lot of extra time that we don’t want to fritter away. In the end, it’s more fun to make memories than rest.

Check out Laura’s ebook (it’s 2.99) if your weekends could use some tweaking: What the Most Successful People Do on the Weekend: A Short Guide to Making the Most of Your Days Off

Last week we recuperated from a particularly nasty virus of some sort. This week we’re back at school. I’m very thankful for this, because without the routine of school my days felt a little boring.

{pretty}

What’s pretty to me? Seeing an older sibling comfort a young one. Yesterday I handed off a fussy baby to a certain young man. One of his tricks is to serenade her with guitar playing. I think she puts her hands on the guitar to feel the vibrations. And it works every time!

{happy}

Speaking of eldest, Caleb is a big LOTR geek. Several days ago he baked lembas bread. Perfect for little elves with high metabolism. Honey, almonds, kumquats… delicious!

{funny}

Caleb, seen here with a serious case of early morning bedhead, learned he could indeed do the hula hoop whilst playing Led Zeppelin’s Rain Song on guitar.

{real}

Ruby has decided that she owns everything, including Victoria’s stuff. For instance, the baby swing. She crawls in, straps the buckles on, and proceeds to fall asleep. Umm, why has noone invented a toddler swing yet? She actually broke the thing, and hubby had to repair it. Of course, he made it stronger so it could support the 25 pound 2 1/2 year old.

What’s going on in your world?

Linked to pretty happy funny real

If you’ve read The Happiness Project0, you’re familiar with the terms “maximizer versus satisficer“.

A satisficer (that’s me) has high standards but once she’s found something that works, she is satisfied with her choice. She doesn’t have to find the perfect, ideal item like a maximizer does. (My exception? Choosing car seats for my babies. That warranted hours of research into crash tests and the like.) And she doesn’t enjoy that kind of searching either. She generally feels happier once the choice has been made, instead of enjoying the process. (Read: I hate to shop.)

Since I also have minimalist leanings, this means that I sometimes find myself with literally nothing to wear. And I don’t mean that in the general feminine way of “I don’t have something perfect to wear” or “I don’t have anything I haven’t worn 10 times lately” or whatnot.

I mean that at times, I literally lack enough items in my closets that fit and that, put together, can make up an entire outfit.

Is it sad that I’m 37 years old and this is true?

Whatever. I chalk it up to my frequent size changes due to having several babies. And the fact that I refuse to keep a lot of clothing around that accommodates all those size changes. (There goes that minimalist thing again.)

So when fellow blogger Modern Mrs. Darcy mentioned a service called StitchFix, which has a bunch of fashionable ladies (actually I don’t know, they could be guys…) sitting around waiting to ship you nice clothing… to your home… in the mail.. so you don’t have to go out shopping (Are you getting this?), I was all, “Somebody get my purse!”.

I signed up immediately, and scheduled a “fix” that next time I had no clothing. Right now I’m about 2 dress sizes larger than my normal size. I know the weight will come off, but in the meantime I don’t want to look like a scrub, y’know?

So the nice box arrived in the mail a few days later.

It had several items in it, all of which I tried on. Which was fun. I didn’t have to stress about who was going to watch the kids while I “shopped”. I just handed the baby over to hubby and slipped into my bedroom.

The first item was this jacket which was very cute… for my Mom. And I mean nothing offensive by that, it was very Chanel-y, and Paris Hilton probably owns that jacket in powder pink, but it just wasn’t me.

So I folded it nicely and put it back into the handy-dandy prepaid shipping envelope to send back to StitchFix.

Next item was this cute but too trendy “bubble” top and what were they thinking sending this to a newly pospartum woman who already has bubble issues in the belly areas?

Back in the envelope.

Then there was a cute scarf but I already own 4 which is more than enough.

Then a cute teal top that I almost kept except I already own a couple of shirts too similar.

A somewhat awkward selfie with my favorite accessory, a sleeping baby on my hip.

Then the piece de resistance, a black and blue cardigan that took me 5 minutes to figure out how to put on. I mean that. It came with instructions and I had to use them. (And the little card with pictures attached was helpful too. It has little “outfit ideas” for the fashionably clueless such as myself. Course I don’t own any of the other pieces so it’s a moot point but they get a thumbs up for trying.)

I hit pay dirt with this cardigan, because I have not taken it off for a week. Literally I have found myself waking up in the morning with the thing still on.

My cardigan is covered with baby snot at this point and smells like me (and not in a good way) and needs to be washed, but I would have to remove it in order to wash it so…

The thing is, this cardigan is not something I would ever pick up at the store and try on. But I love it! And it goes with everything I own. It’s basic without being boring. The back has a cute v-shaped cut and I can roll up the sleeves and roll the shawl part way down to change it up, or I can throw a stretchy belt on it to cinch it.

StitchFix is a keeper.

Here’s a rundown on how it works:

* Go to StitchFix and create an account (free). Fill out your “Style Profile”. It asks you a bunch of questions about what you like and don’t like, your lifestyle, sizes and such. It shows you a bunch of pictures of outfits and asks you to rate them. That kinda thing.

* When you need a ‘fix’, log in and schedule one. You can do this as often as you like, or make it automatic each month. Up to you.They charge you $20 at this point, which is refunded if you buy something.

* Box arrives in the mail with a prepaid envelope. Try stuff on. Keep what you like, send back what you don’t.

* Go back to StitchFix and pay for what you kept. That’s it!

My usual shopping routine goes like this: For kid’s clothes, eBay is where it’s at. I have the kids go on and look for themselves, saving items to my Watch list. I login and make the final decision and buy what they need. This works great for kids who don’t have tricky lumps and bumps and curves like myself.

I also shop at my favorite thrift store every time they have half price day (every couple of months). Just last week I was there and I found a beautiful red silk Ann Taylor skirt in my size. And some nice Gymboree stuff for the baby. I like thrifting, but it’s hard to create your entire wardrobe this way because you can’t just walk into a thrift store and find exactly what you need. It’s a plan ahead or serendipitious type of strategy. StitchFix is going to be how I round out my wardrobe without having to shop. Whee!

I’m also hoping it will help me put a little more “style” into my “personal style”, kwim?

affiliate disclosure

Last week a group of parents had the world rocked under them. There are no words to describe the pain and anguish they are experiencing.

There are many things I’ve wanted to say here this week but it all seems … shallow.

I have a first grader.

Every time I look at her, I think about these grieving parents.

I say a silent prayer for these suffering parents. And I thank God for her.

This little girl challenges me every day. She makes me proud, angry, happy, impatient. She make me laugh, cry, and sometimes raise my voice.

And I couldn’t imagine life without her.

She is dancer, gymnast, imp, little lady, sister, friend, student, reader, mascot, comedienne, trampoline jumper, baby sister sitter.

She is proud. She is sassy. She is nothing if not energetic. She is spirited and hot-tempered. She is social and friendly. She is messy and hard working.

20 little people, little first graders, were stolen from their parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends.

Why did this happen?

I’ll tell you.

It’s not because “things happen for a reason” (Eccl. 3:11). And it’s not because God willed it (Job 34:10 and James 1:13 and 1:17) and especially not because he needed new angels in heaven.

So why did this happen?

Because Matthew 24:37. Because 2 Timothy 3: 1-5, and especially because 2 Cor. 4:4 and 1 John 5:19.

(You can read more here.)

This is not a blog post.

Right now I don’t have time to blog.

Because I spend all my time doing this:

“That’s ok, I’ll just spend the next several months hanging out on your hip Mom. Carry on…” -
Love, Queen V

I used to write early in the mornings.

But now I have a tiny person who wakes up the instant I do, no matter what time that is.

And even if I do manage to accomplish this:

I still don’t have time to sit down and write. (I know the baby is on her belly. Don’t judge me. She rolls over that way on her own.)

Because in those few moments I usually run around the house like the white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland, hands flapping at my sides, muttering “Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late!”  and trying to throw some dinner on or clean up the house a bit.

Or helping the girls with this:

And even though they are made to clean their room every day before they get computer time, it still looks like this at some point every day.

This is not a blog post.

Because I can’t seem to string two sentences together intelligently at the moment.

Also, I seem to have lost my mojo.

I’ve even considered selling off all my websites, because I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

If I were to write a blog post, it might be about this attachment parenting backlash I keep reading about online. That’s really getting on my nerves. Or maybe it would be a review of some of the cool products that have come my way in recent months. Or perhaps I would discuss that weird limbo that is your life when you have a newborn. Where you don’t want things to change and you don’t want the baby to grow up, but desperately need her to. Or perhaps something else, like a review of the Giver quartet, which we recently finished reading aloud.

Or something.

If only I had the time.

Today Ruby got her “cast weg” removed.

“See?’ It’s just like Daddy’s shop vac.

It’s really too bad because her injury was quite the conversation opener for her. Everyone she encountered had to hear the story of how she got her “cast weg”.

Of course the rest of the family members were all very much ready for this development, due to various injuries she had inflicted on us thanks to said cast weg. (Flying cast weg to the face, cast weg jumping on your toes, sideways cast weg kick to the junk, etc. That junk hurts.)

Here she is looking just a mite concerned about the proceedings.

She had worn that cast straight through to the soft sock underneath. See?

Not to mention, the thing was beginning to SMELL….

Despite my best efforts to carefully clean her toes and the leg above the cast and to keep the whole shebang dry, things had gotten really funky.

Okay that is just scary.

What is that, moldy sweat?

EW.

I had to scrub her leg and foot off in the sink with soap and a washcloth, and it still smelled funky.

The Docs were nonplussed, of course. They see this all the time.

What’s interesting to me is that after having two boys, people told me all the time that I would be in and out of the E.R. constantly with broken bones and the like, but it’s been three of my girls who had the toddler fracture, broken arm and dislocated elbow that required casts.

How is your 21 Day Self Discipline Challenge going?

Mine is going fairly well. I didn’t walk every day, but I did do my Smart Digestion stretches every day. I also kept my stove and desk clean and made a to-do list every night. Woo-hoo!

My Mega project was two-fold: One was selling my maternity clothing, and the other was writing 10 articles for my other blog.

You know that thing that organizing experts say about how we’re emotionally attached to clutter? And that’s why we often put off getting rid of it?

I thought I was pretty unsentimental and therefore impervious to this effect, but I realized the truth of it this week as I attempted to take pictures of my maternity clothes.

Let’s just say there were many tears involved. But at least I got most of them listed on eBay! And I made a trip to a consignment shop and got rid of some unneeded baby stuff so I’m really happy about that.

Isn’t there something so sweet about seeing an adolescent boy snuggling his baby sibling?

I didn’t get any new articles written for my other blog, however I do have several in the works. I’m taking notes on paper so that the actual writing will be easier.

But… that’s because I have been getting lots of writing gigs from Fiverr.

Sort of on a whim I decided to post a gig there, and was pretty surprised at the interest.

I’m ghostwriting short blog posts on a particular topic that’s easy for me to write about. The pay isn’t amazing, but it’s nice to exercise my writing muscles and get paid for it.

And it’s working out to around $20 an hour, which isn’t bad.

Have you done any stuff with Fiverr?

Awhile back I posted about a free online holistic dental health seminar.

Because of Hurricane Sandy, they have decided to postpone it a bit.

The HealThy Mouth World Summit will launch on January 13th. Have you registered? It’s free.

Today I interviewed Annette Yen of Healthy Foot Coach . I’ve known Annette online for several years, mostly through our membership in Solo Masterminds (formerly Mom Masterminds).

Annette has a new project that I wanted to share. So many of us suffer from foot pain or other issues that have to do with alignment. About a year ago I started researching this topic because my husband began having heel pain due to plantar fascitis. I followed a rabbit trail on the internet and thankfully found Katy Bowman of the Restorative Exercise Institute. It turns out that many ailments we modern folks suffer from can be improved or even reversed through applying simple principles of proper alignment.

Annette is now a Healthy Foot Practitioner™ who received training through the Restorative Exercise Institute.

I think the information Annette shares is really important and useful to anyone with feet! I have personally benefited greatly from what I’ve learned so far about the connection between feet and overall body wellness .

Enjoy!

- I love your new blog, HealthyFootCoach. What made you decide to launch it?

Annette: I’m so glad you like the blog. It’s always scary launching something new, especially when it’s totally out of the realm of what you’ve done in the past. But I’m excited and passionate about this and couldn’t wait to get it going.

When I started really to learn about alignment and specifically about how proper alignment in feet not only helps with feet issues but is the foundation for your entire body, I was hooked – and still am.

I started the blog when I officially began my certification studies.  I was becoming quite a pest with people who know me because I’m so passionate about this information and keep talking about it.  The blog is a way for me to share it all in a fun and hopefully helpful way.  But I’m still a pest to my friends and family!

- What are some of the common issues moms have with their feet, and what can they do to prevent problems?

Annette: Well of course there are the more well known issues like bunions, hammertoes, heel pain (plantar fasciitis) and just sore feet in general,  but what most moms and women in general don’t realize is that many other issues they may be experiencing, like knee and back issues and pelvic floor problems, can also be helped by starting with healthy foot positions, walking often and in the right way, foot exercises/stretches and good shoe choices.

- Personally, the sky high “hooker shoes” trend seems silly to me. Don’t women know how much they’re setting themselves up for problems when they wear these crazy shoes? I especially think pregnant women in heels look ridiculous. Now I know that women who are addicted to their heels anytime, much less during pregnancy, are more likely to be wearing Depends as they age. Can you explain the connection?

Flats Can Be Hot!

(photo source)

Annette: It’s funny, I used to envy women who wore heels all the time. Because I’m pretty tall, I’ve stayed away from higher heels just because I thought it made me look like a giant.  In hindsight, I’m so thankful because I can’t imagine how many more issues I would have if I had been wearing the 3″ pumps I’ve envied all my life!

Ok, confession time is over but, the short and simple answer to the “Depends” question is that our body is designed to stand straight up and down – picture a straight line from the top of your head down through your heel.

When one introduces a heel of any size, that straight line now is tipped angled (think geometry) and you have to “contort” your body to stand back upright and be able to stand, walk and function.  One of those adjustments occurs at the pelvis and the pelvis is where all those things that “Depends” are worn for happens.

That said, women who are “addicted” to heels often really are addicted to them.  Wearing heels all the time shortens the calf muscles and it can be very painful to go back to flats or barefoot without some focused stretching and body work.  But, women need to ditch the heels.  Because “Depends” are not fun and bladder control is not the only problem the high heel addicts will face as they age.

- Back when I didn’t know any better, I had bunion surgery. (I was tired of constant foot pain and being unable to find shoes that fit.)

The doctor didn’t tell me that the bunions would eventually come back, but it makes perfect sense now that I know more about alignment. Other than wearing flats and going barefoot a lot (which I do!), what can I do to help my feet?

Annette: I have bunions too.

Thankfully I found alignment and surprisingly, though I still have a pretty major bunion on my right foot, my feet look and feel much better now!

[Note from Carrie: Me too. In fact comparing my feet now to this picture, post-op, and the picture above, taken 2 years ago, my feet have actually improved a lot from staying out of heels and working on alignment!]

Going barefoot is the ideal and flats are great when you can’t be barefoot.  

[Note from Carrie: Could it be that there is much wisdom in the old saying, "Barefoot and pregnant"? LOL!]

The other piece would be doing some intentional foot stretching exercises and in particular, “holding hands” with your feet throughout the day.

[Note from Carrie: Since Annette told me about it I've been doing this exercise and it feels awesome!]

I have a couple of posts on my blog about that.  The other thing that will help is doing individual toe lifts – but I’ll be honest, those aren’t as easy as they sound.

Even after 2 years of studying and practicing my foot alignment  I’m still working on those toe lifts!

And, of course, walking.  Walking correctly, that is.  Bunions are often formed because of faulty gait patterns over time – the foot rolling outside to inside in particular – along with too tight of a toe box in our shoes which crams those toes together.

And moms need to keep in mind that we’re trying to back ourselves out of habits (foot position, gait patterns, etc) that we’ve practiced for almost our entire lives. So even if she does the exercises, it’s pretty much guaranteed that when she’s not intentionally thinking about alignment, she is (we are) slipping back into those old habits.  It may take quite some time to get complete relief but I’m continually surprised at how quickly I find marked improvement in my foot issues when I work on my alignment exercises.

And because the movements are so easy and can be done pretty much anywhere, I can slip my stretches in without anyone knowing I’m “working” – while chatting on the phone, typing, standing in line at the grocery store and more!

Thanks Annette! I look forward to learning more from your blog.

Also recommended:

* Katy Bowman’s book, Every Woman’s Guide to Foot Pain Relief: The New Science of Healthy Feet

* I mention how I benefited tremendously from doing alignment exercises during my pregnancy.

What about you? Do you have any foot or overall alignment questions for Annette?

Tomorrow kicks off the first day of the 21 Day Self Discipline Challenge.

If you haven’t already, pick up a copy of Crystal Paine’s book, 21 Days to a More Disciplined Life. Buy the ebook for only 4.99 – worth every penny. (And it’s available on Amazon for Kindle too.)

Then go to Serving Joyfully and link up. We’re using the Twitter hashtag #disciplined21 to encourage each other.

So what’s on your list of daily disciplines to work on establishing as habits? Or are you focused on just one big project?

I wrote about mine earlier. They are:

My personal 21 Day challenge goals:

• Complete my “Mega Project” – See these clothes in the corner of my bedroom? It’s maternity clothing. Yuck. I hate having clutter sit around like this. My goal is to sell it – so far I’ve taken pics and listed them on Craigslist. No hits yet, this week I need to work on taking more and better pictures and maybe listing some on eBay instead.
• Write 10 articles for my old “new” blog, CarrieWillard.com.

My other items are little daily disciplines that I want to continue or begin. They are:

• Write a blog post or article every day
• Exercise in some fashion. Right now I’m doing Katy Bowman‘s Smart Digestion DVD, and I need to get back into my daily walking routine too.
• Clean off my desk every day
• Clean the stove every evening
• Make the next day’s to-do list before bed

Since I posted last week about the challenge I’ve done pretty well. I am the kind of person who likes to check things off of a list so created a little chart for myself so that I can check off the boxes each day.

Are you participating in the challenge? What are your goals?

The following is a guest post from Stacie Mahoe. Stacie is a blogger and mom of 7. We met several years ago through our membership in SoloMasterminds, a community of online business women.

In this article she shares her view on keeping your marriage healthy in the midst of raising a family. How do you balance the needs of your kids with that of your mate?

Do You Put Your Kids First?

The other day I was talking with some other parents. One of of the guys in the group was a dad whose youngest son just left for college. He and his wife were beginning their adjustment to life without kids in the house.

Somehow the conversation turned to spouses vs kids. Which is more important and who comes first?This dad brought up a question he heard on a radio show once, “If you woke up one night and your house was on fire, who do you save first? Your spouse or your kids?”

Well, most people in the conversation said they would save their kids first, and for very good reasons. One person pointed out that, our children hadn’t had a chance to live their lives yet. Many agreed they wanted to their kids to get that chance. They’d save their kids then go back for their spouse.

Another parent mentioned that, if the tables were turned, they hoped their spouse would save the kids first. Since they would want their spouse to save the kids before coming for them, that’s the choice they’d make also.

I honestly don’t know what I would do and I hope I never find out!

I admit, I used to put my children above all else. After all, as infants they’re helpless. They need you to do everything for them. My husband? Well, he’s a full grown adult that can take care of himself. I figured kids obviously need me more than he does, right?

As far as basic survival, that may be true. Your husband can take care of his own basic needs for survival and your kids DO need your help more than he does in that area.

I understand that. I get that. Your kids need you. They can’t survive without you. At least not as well as if you’re there for them.

But guess what?

Neither can your marriage.

Marriages, like children, don’t thrive when ignored. While your husband may be able to take care of himself and “survive” on his own, your marriage won’t. Your marriage needs your attention and care just as much as your kids do.

Plus, what message are you sending your kids about relationships and marriage if you completely ignore yours? If your spouse is always second? What expectation are you setting for them as far as how THEY should be treated in a relationship?

Yes, your children are important. Yes, they are your responsibility and a huge part of your life, but your spouse is your partner, your other (and maybe even better) half!

When you take care of yourself, your relationship, your marriage, and your spouse, taking care of the kids gets a LOT easier. I know you want to be the BEST parent you can for your children. I promise you, that’s SO much easier to do when you have a loving partner helping you through it all vs a “roommate” you’re always at odds with.

Not to mention, after your kids are grown, gone, and living their own lives, they won’t really “need” you anymore.

As much as you love them, they WILL leave your home one day if you did your job right (which is why you pay so much attention to them in the first place). Then who will be left? What will be left?

I know I don’t want to wake up one day after the kids are gone and find myself in a marriage that’s been ignored for the past 18+ years. Just something to think about.

Guest post written by Stacie Mahoe, mom of 7, living and loving and active family life in Hawaii while married to her high school sweetheart. She shares her no nonsense mom tips at CrazyMomLife.com

What do you think? Have you found it challenging to balance the needs of young children with the needs of your marriage? What tips can you share?

Over the weekend I realized why I’m having such a hard time getting things done.

All the big kids were gone and it was “just” me, hubs and the 2 youngest.

Still, I couldn’t get anything done.

I have goals. I have dreams. I don’t lack self-discipline. I’m not depressed. In other words, I have motivation. It’s not that.

It’s this.

And every 30 minutes, she wants to do this.

And when she’s not doing that, she is doing this.

(Oops. I don’t have a good fussing/crying/spitting up buckets picture.)

Which means that by the end of the day my arms feel like pulled taffy, and I’m tired and sore from the exhaustion that is baby care.

Which is why people who have one or two kids think that a mom of 7 is some kind of superwoman, because they think to themselves that it’s 7 times as much work as having their one child.

Which isn’t true at all.

The work is whatever the age of the youngest child is. So if you have 10 kids but the youngest is 6, you’re not as tired as a mother who has 2 kids under 3.

I also have this going on right now.

At least the cast is slowing her down a little bit!

Oh wait that’s mean.

But it does explain why those monthly chores aren’t really getting done right now, but the countertops sure stay clean! (Because the latter is easy to do while bouncing a newborn in your arms, but the former is most assuredly not.)

Last week a cleaning service came by to deep clean my house. (A gift from a few friends who wanted to give me something even though I asked them not to throw me a baby shower.)

It was really lovely seeing (remembering?) how nice the bathrooms look when the tub and shower are all sparkly. Because it’s been awhile!

Queen Victoria, She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed

This is why it’s so important for me to  make a to do list every day. So that if I *do* get a moment to do something, I know exactly what’s supposed to be done.

p.s. I’m giving her Bio-Kult probiotics for the spitting up, and to hopefully undo the damage caused by the nasty antibiotics. As well as taking them myself. Any other suggestions for the frequent spitting up?

Have you ever heard of Jim Gaffigan? I watched one of his stand up routines on Netflix and hubby and I laughed until our sides ached. Unlike so many comics, his act is actually PG rated, which is refreshing.

We especially enjoyed hearing him carry on about having a big family and homebirths. He also touches on co-sleeping and other aspects of parenting.

Favorite lines:

“After the third kid, people stop congratulating you…”

“If you want to know what it’s like to have 4 kids, just imagine you’re drowning… and somebody hands you a baby.”

“We had all our babies at home… just to make you uncomfortable.”

“Why wouldn’t you have it in that germ infested building where sick people congregate? Didn’t you want your wife to give birth in a gown someone died in yesterday?”

“We had a midwife there… because we believe in witchcraft.”

Definitely worth watching! Set aside 7 minutes, you won’t regret it.

The giveaway for 21 Days to a More Disciplined Life is now over and the winner has been notified.

If you weren’t her, you can buy the ebook for only 4.99 – worth every penny. (And it’s available on Amazon for Kindle too.)

If you’ve read 21 Days already, you know that Days 10 and 11 encourage you to build accountability into your plans to help you stay the course.

If you want some cheerleading action and accountability, here’s some neat news:

Crystal from Serving Joyfully, Laura from Super Sweet Life, and Erin from Home With The Boys are hosting an online accountability group beginning November 1, 2012. (Which means you have a few days left to buy the ebook, read it and decide which goals you want to work on before the challenge gets going!)

I joined in with them because there are some things I need to tackle, and it’s all too easy to spend all my time rocking my new baby.

My personal 21 Day challenge goals:

• Complete my “Mega Project” – I didn’t really have one huge project, but I do have two smaller ones. One is selling all my maternity clothing, and the other is
• Write 10 articles for my old “new” blog, CarrieWillard.com

My other items are little daily disciplines that I want to continue or begin. They are:

• Write a blog post or article
• Exercise in some fashion
• Clean off my desk
• Clean the stove
• Make the next day’s to-do list before bed

A few of these I’m already pretty faithful in, but a couple (like cleaning off the stove – ugh! my least favorite chore. But for me the stove is like FlyLady’s shiny sink. It has a spillover effect that brightens my entire outlook and makes me more productive overall.)

Will you join me?

Go ahead and get your copy of 21 Days and let’s encourage each other!

Disciplining our kids is a real challenge for us moms. We’re always questioning ourselves, trying to meet that balance between being effective without being harsh, adjusting for our individual children’s unique personalities and challenges.

But what about US as adults? Do you find that you have a difficult time disciplining yourself?

If we find ourselves making excuses instead of meeting our goals, maybe we do.

“The first and best victory is to conquer self.”
— Plato

Maybe you want to get up early in the morning so you can have time to exercise, or work on a project that’s important to you. Maybe your goal is to consistently cook dinner instead of spending money on takeout. Or perhaps your house is a mess because you can’t seem to tear yourself away from Facebook.

Assuming those goals are reasonable, the problem may be a lack of self-discipline.

Sometimes we’re our own worst enemies.

“If I want to be great I have to win the victory over myself… self-discipline.”
- Harry S Truman

If you need a little help in this area, Crystal Paine’s new ebook: 21 Days to a More Disciplined Life may be just the ticket.

Here’s the interesting thing about willpower: It’s a finite resource. (If you want to read more about the many studies that have proven this, check out the book Willpower.)

People who accomplish a lot in their lives aren’t born with more self-discipline than the rest of us. They know that willpower is a finite resource, and therefore they have learned to create habits and routines that make meeting their goals easier. In other words, they’ve organized their lives in such a way so that they don’t have to exert as much willpower.

Crystal has also figured this out and is really good at applying it in a practical way in her life.

On her blog, she has shared dozens of ideas to help other women get more of what they want out of life. Crystal’s story itself is quite inspiring, but she admits that she isn’t naturally self-disciplined – she’s had to work at it. And she’s sharing her secrets in this ebook.

Crystal is like your personal cheerleader on your journey to changing your life. In the first few pages, she encourages you to choose a “Mega Project” you’ve been neglecting, or one you’ve been dreaming of accomplishing but haven’t – and holds your hand while you make progress on it. Meanwhile you’ll also be add some smaller daily disciplines that will make your life run the way you want it to.

Go here to get Crystal’s ebook. It’s .99 right now but the price goes up to 4.99 in a few days!

It’s available HERE as a pdf that you can read on your computer or phone. And it’s available on Amazon for Kindle too.

I’m also giving away a copy of this ebook to a reader! All you have to do is leave a comment below. This giveaway expires in 24 hours! I’ll choose a winner on Wednesday, October 24 at NOON Eastern time.

What do you think about self-discipline? What is an area where you struggle with willpower? How do you discipline yourself to get things done?

{funny}

Ruby jumped off the coffee table onto her big sister, who was sitting on the sofa. Which is nothing unusual. Ruby is quite the daredevil athlete.

What was unusual is that she began refusing to walk or stand and complaining that “My weg hurts“.

Hubs and I examined her repeatedly and saw no wound, no swelling, no bruising. But after a fussy evening and rough night with her, hubs took her to the E.R.

Turns out she has something called a “toddler fracture“, apparently extremely common.

The first day she was tired and probably a little traumatized from the ER experience. She slept most of the day. The next day, Sunday, she spent most of the day in the rocking chair with daddy. Monday she sat around on everyone’s lap and looked at books. But Tuesday she started doing this:

{happy}
I love this picture.

{real}

This is nothing unusual either. It’s a baby swing, hardly shocking. What’s different is that I’ve never owned one before now.

Victoria has little fussy periods that I’ve discovered are nothing more than fatigue.

She doesn’t want to nurse and begins arching her back and fighting. She doesn’t want to be rocked or walked or whatever.

After a few weeks of having rubber arms by evening, I decided she might like a swing. I got one from a lovely mom on craiglist for $20.

When she gets those fussy times I plop her in it and she’s out like a light in say, 60 seconds or so. Sometimes I put a blanket on top of it to block out the light and stimulation. Works like a charm.

Never say never I guess!

{real}

We were having a bit of trouble with dictation in our homeschool so I posted my concerns at the Well Trained Mind forums. Lo and behold Susan Wise Bauer has a YouTube channel that I never knew about!

Watching her do a real live dictation exercise with her son was super helpful.

Remember when I mentioned OraWellness, an all natural tooth cleaning product in this post on natural toothpaste alternatives?

I still love it. One of my favorite ways to use OraWellness is to put a drop on my floss. It helps remove the gunk inbetween your teeth but also numbs your gums a bit to prevent soreness (which was an issue when I was pregnant).

The folks at OraWellness are hosting a “HealThy Mouth World Summit“.

They’ve organized a group of very talented and informed experts on dental and whole body health to share their wisdom. The information is free and online November 11-18.

Some of the topics included:

• How to prevent and heal kid’s cavities
• How to deal with old dental issues like mercury fillings, safely
• What materials are best for dental fillings
• Foods to eat (and which ones to avoid) for a healthy mouth
• The latest on mercury and fluoride
• Tips on how to find a dentist that is right for you
• Why your kids have cavities despite a healthy diet

and much more.

One of the guests is Ramiel Nagel, author of Cure Tooth Decay. Others include dentists, nutritionists, doctors and concerned parents.

Go here to watch the introductory video and to register! (I did!)

Several months ago I got a copy of The Year of Learning Dangerously: Adventures in Homeschooling.

It was the funniest book I read this year. As in, laugh out loud and spit your coffee funny. As is Quinn’s blog. (Her VOGUE commentaries are not to be missed! They’re spit coffee at your laptop funny.)

If Quinn looks familiar, it’s because she was an actress in a former life. In fact, when I was about the age of my oldest daughter, my mother sat me down to watch “one of her favorite movies”, The Goodbye Girl. Quinn played the witty and precocious Lucy.

And now I’m reading her book, blog and interviewing her. Which is kind of a weird full-circle moment for me.

I’m giving away a copy of Quinn’s book, which describes her experiences and anxieties during the first year homeschooling her daughter. (My favorite part of it was Quinn’s description of her quest to find a homeschooling “tribe”.)

More on the giveaway after the interview.

Carrie: Choosing curriculum is stressful for many parents new to homeschooling because the choices are overwhelming.

How did you go about choosing curriculum?

Quinn: The first year we used Singapore Math because it looked stinking hard and then it was (oh, how grateful was I for the answer keys), Story of the World for History because I thought the Bauers did a superb job of keeping different parts of the world equally weighted and interesting, and science through an online class. I decided English class could be the occasional book report on what she was reading and Latin and Greek roots and prefixes, because words are not where the challenge lies for my family. I didn’t have a specific art program, but Alice did classes at the local museums.

(Note from Carrie: We also use Singapore Math and Story of the World. More about my curriculum choices here.)

Carrie: What would you say is your biggest challenge as a homeschooling parent? Conversely, what do you enjoy the most? (For me, it’s learning cool stuff alongside my kids!)

Quinn: The most challenging part is how days can pass where I’m never not Mom. I mean, we’re all parents all the time anyway, but homeschoolers are usually actively on the job every waking hour.

Then I’ll sign her up for some afternoon program, so we can have some healthy space, and what’s the first thing any team or youth group asks before you’ve even finished writing them a check? “Can we count on you to volunteer?” And then I feel guilty for wanting to scream “NO! GO AWAY!” because, after all, I do have that time, right? Because I have that extra hour she’s in class where I was just going to sit someplace and bask in the quiet and who wants that? This is when I sign up for the bake sale. It would appear I like being around my child.

Which leads to what I like most about this nutty life. I get to see my daughter not know something, then know it a little bit, and then I get to see the light go on; after four years of homeschooling, that hasn’t grown old. The time we spend together as a family also means we have the space to really know one another; for better or worse, I am not an enigma to my kid. But there’s a possibility she thinks I like working bake sales.

Learning cool stuff is endlessly fascinating. The kid gets MUSE magazine, and we have four years’ worth of back issues, because she might have them all memorized, but I don’t yet.

Carrie: A lot of homeschooling parents think they need special qualifications to teach their kids. How do you handle it when your daughter needs or wants to study a subject that you struggle with or don’t know well?

Quinn: Three words; Outsource, outsource, outsource. She’s taking Chinese online this year; after hearing me try to imitate her, Alice has asked me not to speak to any actual Chinese people, for fear of inciting an international incident. She’s taking Music Theory, also online. She’s loving the class and, apparently, doing well in it. I’m very pleased for her. I have no idea what Music Theory is.

Isn’t the point of homeschooling to let our children follow passions? Unless we birth clones, eventually their passion is going to be something which mystifies or baffles their parents. Luckily, the Internet is teeming with tools and classes for learning nearly anything (I shudder to think of answering many of Alice’s questions had Khan Academy not been invented.) If paying for a class doesn’t work, I know people who are getting tutors for their children on the barter system. Someone, somewhere, knows what your child wants to learn.

Carrie: What would your daughter say is her favorite thing about homeschooling? (When I ask my kids, they say, “The food!” Guess I should take that as a compliment

Quinn: You should, and know that my daughter is packing her bags to come live with you. No family member of mine will ever laud the food around here; to put it kindly, I’m a slightly below-average cook. I think that right now what she likes best of all is not having to get up and race out the door. She hears about friends of hers who have to be in their classroom, dressed and breakfasted, at 7:48, after a twenty-minute trip to get to school, and she shudders in horror.

I’d like to think years from now she’ll look back fondly on a day like today, where she read Anne Bradstreet poems for an hour or so, just because they pleased her. But right now? It’s about the not-getting-up-when-it’s-dark.

Carrie: I ask this from the perspective of a busy homeschooling mom who also loves to write.

How do you find time/space for your writing – how do you meet your own needs for alone time and personal hobbies/interests with your daughter’s homeschooling (and just general parenting and other family duties)?

Quinn: Check my blog and note how remiss I’ve been about keeping it up this summer. I am currently not a model of multitasking, but have hopes for the fall. Perhaps I’ll get a sinus infection, as that gives me something to write about and forces me to rest for a couple of days.

Right now, the only “Quinn alone time” thing which happens on a regular basis is that I try to walk around the reservoir at least three mornings a week. Usually, I take the dog, so I don’t feel completely hedonistic; hey, not just taking me-time but also getting the dog in shape! But nothing else is purely for me right now and, now that I think about it, this is probably related to how I can’t think of anything to write. If the tank isn’t getting refilled, guess what? You have an empty tank. I need to work on that.

Wait, no. I do have at least an hour to myself every day right now, but I’m not sure if insomnia counts. And, frankly, I rarely do anything really interesting with that time. Although, thanks to Hulu, I can now say I have watched all of “Lost.”

Thanks Quinn for answering my questions!

Now for the giveaway!

Just leave a comment below letting me know what one of your “first year of homeschooling”  concerns were. I’ll pick one commenter on Monday, October 22nd at NOON Eastern time as the winner.

Uh-oh. If you weren’t already losing sleep worried about chemicals and drugs in our water, hormone disruptors in our food containers, and arsenic in your rice, there’s a new danger on the horizon:

photo credit: Joelk75

Death by Neti Pot

Incidentally, when I was still on Facebook, “death by neti pot” was a status update I used once.

Ok, backstory…

5 years ago when I had a sinus infection, my older sister urged me to try using a neti pot to kick it. It was the first time I had ever used one, and I didn’t know the small but important detail: that you need to add salt to the water. The experience was painful, and felt akin to that childhood phenomenon of near drowning in the summertime pool. I must say though, it did help me feel better and get over my sinus infection!

Seriously though. ABC News reported that a few people have died of a brain infection.

The culprit?

Brain-eating amoeba known as Naegleria fowleri found in the tap water used to fill the victim’s neti pots. Apparently the amoeba is no problem if you drink it, but using it in the sinuses is just too close to the brain. (Is the old wive’s tale true? If you pick your nose, can you stab your brain!?)

The amoeba can get a foothold in sensitive brain tissue and … well, it ain’t pretty folks.

The thing is: my husband used a neti pot on a daily basis, it was as much a part of his daily hygiene as brushing his teeth before bed. He has environmental/seasonal allergies and also works with some pretty potent chemicals (as well as stirring up lots of dust) in his line of work. So he relies on the neti pot to clean and unclog his sinuses and restore normal breathing.

And he didn’t know this until he married me, but the neti pot also prevented him from snoring. (I could tell a definite difference on the nights when he skipped his neti routine.)

When he found out about the deaths, he freaked a little and stopped using his neti pot.

Unfortunately for me, the snoring kicked into high gear just as I was in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy (and already not sleeping soundly!).  What’s worse, I noticed that the snoring was getting worse and he was having periods of sleep apnea – it was scary to hear him stop breathing for several seconds at a time, only to gasp and struggle to catch his breath. He was tired in the mornings and struggling to get up early. I was also concerned about the long term health ramifications of sleep apnea, which are pretty serious.

A Better Neti Pot

During this time I got an email about the Ocean Complete Sinus Rinse. It’s an easy to use, sterile nasal irrigator and nasal moisturizer (and here’s the important part) that doesn’t require tap water. 

Sure, you could take the time to boil and sterilize, then cool tap water for your neti pot. Or you could buy expensive distilled water. But this system is easier.

Another thing about neti pots? We’ve broken TWO of them in less than a year when we bumped into them in the bathroom (they’re generally ceramic, which doesn’t work well with hard bathroom flooring. Oops!).

Hubby is using a neti pot again. And I’m not elbowing him in the back several times a night!

(Note: I wasn’t paid to write this post, just given a sample of the Ocean in order to do a product review. Hubby is quite pleased with the product. For realz.)

As soon as the weather gets a tiny bit of crisp in the air, Julien starts asking if we can have a fire.

In my gratitude journal I wrote:

First fire of autumn

Yesterday, while doing grammar with two of the kids, I learned that we do not capitalize seasons.

No, apparently I’m not smarter than a 5th grader.

It makes no sense to me, because it seems that the seasons should be proper nouns. Because autumn is a specific season, not just any season.

But I digress.

Ruby is totally potty trained now, no thanks to me. And she prefers the real toilet, not a little potty.

She also did her first “drop off” playdate at a friend’s house. Growing so fast.

When I took my newborn to the hospital, I had no idea she would have to be admitted for testing and treatment (IV antibiotics). The only thing I brought with me was myself, my sling and a toothbrush (expecting a long ER wait).

If I have to do a hospital again, I’ll be more prepared. I present my list of tips and tricks here:

How To Survive The Hospital

After being admitted to the hospital, I sent my husband home to take care of our 2 year old and look over the other kids (who thankfully, were staying with relatives). I also emailed him the following list of things to bring me the next day:

1) Two pairs socks
2) Clean skirt
3) Pink cardigan
4) Small container with half stick of butter
5) 2 pairs socks for Vic
6) Book “Happier at Home”
7) A decent HOT cup of coffee!

Thanks hon. I love you!

Here’s where I explain why I asked for those particular items.

Hospitals are cold. I was freezing until the last 24 hours I was there, when we were moved into a bigger room with its own thermostat. And I’m not a cold natured person at all, especially not postpartum and breastfeeding! That explains the extra socks and clothing.

Hospitals are boring. Hence the request for reading material.

Hospital food sucks. Actually, it didn’t taste horrible, it’s just that the dieticians are all falling for the pseudoscience that says that salt and fat are evil. The portions were too tiny for a lactating woman, and everything was dry and nothing had any fat in it. I asked for butter and they offered Promise spread. Umm.. NO.

As a lactating mom, I got extra food, which I thought was good of them… but a nursing mom (and indeed everyone) needs plenty of fat in her diet. Hubby brought me coconut oil, which I ate by the spoonful, and a stick of butter which was liberally spread.

A few more things:

Sleep With Baby

If your baby is accustomed to cosleeping, then go ahead and continue that practice. It may take some ingenuity to figure out how to do so safely. In the first room we were in, there was a chair that made into a cot (horribly uncomfortable), and a humongous crib that would have easily accommodated Jabba the Hutt. I actually curled up with my baby inside that thing and raised the side rails. I did the same thing when my second child was in hospital getting surgery. Noone said a word about it.

When we moved to the larger room the third day in hospital, there was no huge crib, only a tiny bassinette and regular hospital bed, which had no side rail or other way of making it safe to share with a baby. I knew Victoria wouldn’t take kindly to the bassinette, so I had to figure out other options. I actually considered putting all the bedding on the floor and camping out there. But it just so happened that there was a small sofa, long enough for my body, in the room – it folded out into a sleeper. It was right up against the wall with no spaces inbetween, and had no crevices in it that she could roll into. So we slept there! When I nursed her in the night, I had to actually flip, head to foot, to the other side of the bed instead of rolling over, so that she stayed inbetween me and the wall.

None of the nurses had any problem with this arrangement. In fact when they came in to check on her in the night, they did so quietly and gently enough that (if she was nursing) she was undisturbed.

Bring Your Sling

My sling is always an extremely useful tool, but even more so when I was exhausted from lack of sleep and the stress of the experience. No doubt the baby was also comforted by the womb-like feeling of being snuggled in the sling. It was a little tricky figuring out how to get her in it without disturbing the IV in her arm, but once I got her settled in, it was lovely.

Make Friends With The Nurses

The nurses were all great, and it’s clear that they pretty much run the show. If you make friends with them, they’ll advocate for you with the doctors. I made a point to be friendly and accommodating and it paid off.

Hospitals are notorious for being places where it’s impossible to sleep. The nurses and Doctors were waking me about every half hour all night long the 3 nights I was there. Add to the sleep deprivation the stress and worry I felt about the baby, and you have a recipe for anxiety and depressive feelings. I listened to Bible readings and spiritual songs on my phone to keep my mood up, and did a lot of praying.

Have you ever spent time in the hospital with your child? What helped you make the most of the experience?

Several times a day, I look at my laptop longingly.

I have many things running through my head and I’m a little anxious because I need to write.

It’s just that there’s math to check and grammar to do and history to read and Ruby’s butt needs wiping (3 days peeing and pooping in the potty! YES!) and lately it’s hard to even get dinner on the table.

And there is this little tiny person who needs to eat every 20 minutes and who, when I get her situated, clutches at my breast and hair and shirt with her little fists as if to say, Mommy, this is so good please don’t stop.

So the laptop gathers dust.

And there are a lot of things going on right now that make me stressed. Like health stuff and I’m having to make a lot of phone calls and do a lot of research which stresses me out.

Here are a few things, rather unrelated, that I want to tell you. A kind of bloggy brain dump, if you will.

How To Maximize Your Chocolate

I’m not against a little bribery/positive reinforcement when establishing a new important habit. (For instance, when potty training a 2 year old.) After all, it works with dolphins. But since Ruby isn’t big on raw fish thrown into her mouth, she gets 2 chocolate chips when she goes in the potty (3 days, only 1 accident). Like a smart girl, she has figured out how to maximize the chocolate. It goes like this:

Sit on the potty. Proceed to initiate bowel movement. Pinch off a teensy turd. Everybody cheers and hands you chocolate.

~5 minutes later~

Sit on the potty. Proceed to re-initiate bowel movement. Pinch off tiny turd. Get more chocolate.

Like I said, she’s a smart one.

Ok honey, I’ll stop talking about it if it embarrasses you.

My New Old Blog

I recently resurrected a blog I used to write on quite faithfully. When I launched it, I mostly talked about work at home mom and internet marketing. But since I’m not interested in writing about those topics anymore (but there is much I do want to say that has nothing to do with natural parenting), I decided to rename and redesign it.

The design is still a little wonky and I’m working on that, but I would be much obliged if you took a look anyway and added me to your RSS reader.

My first post was a review of blogger Anne at Modern Mrs Darcy’s ebook, Work Shift. Then I wrote about how to eat like a French woman.

Solo Masterminds Special

I’ve mentioned Solo Masterminds (formerly Mom Masterminds) a few times on this blog. Right now Kelly is offering a special discount price for new members, as well as a monthly payment option (for a limited time). Solo Masterminds was a huge help for me when I began my online business several years ago, and I was one of the first members.

I still go to the forum when I need help with some aspect of blogging or marketing and am always pleased to have a place to get expert advice without spending tons of time searching. The resources there (designed for people who want to earn money from their blog or website) are worth thousands of dollars.

That’s it for now.

It’s official.

Ruby has given up naps.

(Lord help me!) After complaining about naptime woes here and here, and trying various suggestions and other things (including ideas from Elizabeth Pantley’s excellent No-Cry Nap Solution), Ruby has finally decided that  naps just ain’t cool anymore.

Hmm. If brother can do it, I can too.So instead of going to bed around 9, she is now falling asleep at 7 or 8 and sleeping about 12 hours.

I got this.I think she still needs a nap, because she will sometimes fall asleep in the car if we’re driving in the afternoons. The other day we found her cuddling with a stuffed dog under the sofa, fast asleep. But after an hour of music or white noise or reading or cuddling or whatever in a dark room she’s still not asleep, and mommy can’t devote an hour a day to the 2 year old’s nap. So she will join the other kids in the daily Quiet Time.

Good thing mom isn’t one of those helicopter parents.

The good news is, she has begun potty training herself! I gave it a go a few months back, and it was a fail, so I packed it up to try again after things settled down with the new baby.

Two days in a row she has put her soft potty seat on the big commode, climbed up on it, and peed. All by herself with no suggestion or input from anyone else.

I’ve never been a fan of child led potty training, because I saw too many 4 year olds still in diapers with that method. But at 26 months? Fine with me!

It’s a beautiful view from the top!

I apologize for my scattered, slightly cryptic post the other day. At the time I was feeling quite confused, sad and guilty (because don’t we moms begin blaming ourselves for things right away?).

I am SO thankful to be back home with baby V, with things slowly getting back to normal.

Oldest has talent. Two babies at once!

Last Thursday I noticed that Victoria felt hot, and wasn’t acting herself. She seemed unusually sleepy. In retrospect I know that she had probably been feverish all day and perhaps even the day before, but I kept thinking that she was warm from being in the sling. It’s been hotter than Hades here and super muggy, and I was burning up and sweaty.

But by around 7 PM I knew something wasn’t right. I took her temperature, and it was over 100. I don’t usually overreact to a fever, but in a baby so young it startled me. I have never had a baby so little get sick, and was worried. I started researching – via Google, Dr. Robert Sears website, and in the reference books I keep around the house, my favorite being How To Raise a Healthy Child In Spite of Your Doctor. (It has a very commonsense, low interventionist approach and its advice has served me well for 14 years of parenting.)

What I found is that fever in a newborn was considered a medical emergency (even among experts who believe that generally speaking, a fever should be ignored). That scared me. I called the Pediatrician and was told to get baby to the ER asap. So I did.

As a parent, we always second guess our decisions. Looking back, I know that Vic would probably have been just fine if I had let it run its course, because the diagnosis was a simple Urinary Tract Infection, quite common according to the docs and nurses at the hospital. But it could have been so much worse. And I didn’t know that it wasn’t worse until the nasty diagnostic tests were done. To rule out things like meningitis and blood infections that could have killed my baby.

The Doctors and Nurses kept saying how common UTIs are among babies. Common for them maybe, but not common for me and my babies. They called it Bad Luck and said I hadn’t done anything wrong.

I’m still scratching my head about this whole thing.

Breastfed babies are far less likely to get UTIs, and I’ve never had a child get one. (Just like I’ve never had a sick newborn or had to spend nights in a hospital with a sick little one.) I began Googling during the long, impossible to get any sleep nights at the hospital (they had to admit us so that baby V could get IV antibiotics).

The only thing I found that makes any sense is a remote possibility that the wipes warmer I use could have harbored bacteria that caused the infection. 

There is a lot of talk amongst parents on message forums and blogs about this, but I could find no legitimate references or studies or cautions from doctors against using wipes warmers. I asked the pediatrician and one nurse at the hospital and they had heard nothing about it.

I DID notice, however, that a couple of the well known manufacturers of wipes warmers have begun making “antibacterial” versions of their products.

Hmm… is this to avoid litigation? Do they know something they’re not telling parents? I smell a rat.

Anyway, “when in doubt leave it out“. I flung the thing in the trash when I got home from the hospital. I’ve used a wipes warmer on all my babies since Caleb was a day old with no problems, but if there was a small chance that it could cause a problem, I wasn’t willing to risk it.

I’m finally caught up on sleep (it is impossible to sleep in a hospital!) and baby V is doing fine. I’m really heartbroken that she has to be on antibiotics for a week, doing who knows what to her little immature gut. I do have her on a probiotic, actually the Pedi in the hospital prescribed it for her, which I thought was pretty forward-thinking of him.

I’ve read that it can take months for a baby to restore proper gut flora after having it disturbed (which happens when you give a baby anything other than breastmilk by mouth), and I pray that the meds don’t weaken her immune system and cause other problems.

I’ve been very lucky, I know.

I don’t take it for granted.

In fact every day I live in fear. During my pregnancies I fear that my baby will die in my womb. And after the baby is born I fear that it will die in its sleep.

I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

A couple of days before I took V to the hospital, I was at the park with the kids. It was a glorious late Summer day, the weather was perfect. There was a gentle breeze that just hinted that Fall was coming. I sat there watching my children play and absolutely feeling gratitude deep in my bones, knowing in my kidneys and marrow how fortunate I have been to have healthy babies.

I snapped this picture to remember the afternoon.

I have spit up all over my shoulder, and it doesn’t look much like me really, but the lighting has a cool effect.

I love my life, and I am thankful every single day for it.

p.s. thank you to those who left kind comments, tweets, emails and words… I appreciate your concern, prayers and love. I thought of a couple of you specifically during this experience who have dealt with far worse health issues with your children. Thank you.

Isn’t it crazy how you can be going along as usual, blissfully unaware that life is about to smack you hard across the face and leave you reeling?

This day has been one of the most difficult of my life.

I need to find some things to be thankful for, quick, before I fall into an abyss of sadness, grief, confusion and more tears.

- I am thankful for antibiotics that kill superbugs that can cause infections even in a healthy breastfed infant
- I am thankful for breast pumps and lactation consultants who know about things like tongue tie and clipping frenulums.
- I am thankful for nurses who are willing to hurt your child in order to help them
- I am thankful for Doctors that have the gentle authority and influence to convince you to let them poke and prod and prick and lumbar puncture
- I am thankful for Grandparents who can stay home with the other 6 kids so you can focus on helping your sick newborn to get enough calories in her tired, weak little body
- I am thankful to God that no matter what happens, I have been privileged to bear and birth and know these children.

This baby seems bound and determined to teach me that I Don’t Have It All Figured Out.

You might think you know what you’re doing, Mom, but you just don’t have it all figured out.

How in the world did I live without maternity belly bands? You know what I’m talking about, right?

Belly bands (like the Bella Band, BeBand, Baby Be Mine, and others) are stretchy, soft, spandex-y tubes that fit around your belly and/or hips. (They aren’t used for belly support.) Typically they’re used to extend clothing options in your first trimester. You can use them to keep unbuttoned pants up when you’re too small for maternity pants but busting out of your regular ones. Or to help prevent a large, late pregnancy belly from pushing pants down your backside.

Only.

These things are useful for much more, I’ve found. In fact they make the whole challenge that is the pregnancy/postpartum continuum much easier to navigate. I don’t remember seeing these in stores until after my 4th child was born, and I didn’t own one until my 5th. I don’t know how I lived without them before!

Shown: Baby Be Mine Maternity Belly Band courtesy of Amazon.com (affiliate link)

More Uses For Your Maternity Belly Band:

• Strapless Bra. Yep, that’s right. I found wearing a bra to be quite painful in my pregnancies. My rib cage felt as if I had a vice grip around it. Also, for some reason many of my favorite maternity dresses seemed very low cut and immodest. I found that I could use a maternity belly band instead of a bra. It was far more comfortable. And, strapless. And since it looks like a layering piece, not a bra, and comes up higher, it provides extra coverage.

  [Tip: if your belly band has a thicker band or a ring of silicone at the bottom (designed to help it stay flat), flip the whole apparatus so that the thicker part is under your breasts. It won't roll as much and you can fold the thinner top part down if you need to.]

• Layering Piece for Modest Nursing. Unless you’re wearing super baggy tops, lifting your shirt to nurse means your side and part of your belly are uncovered. This is fine if you’re at home (or are skilled in the use of nursing with baby in a sling), but if you’re out and about and need more coverage, try using your belly band. Wear it higher up, from just under your bra to the top of your pants. Belly coverage! Great for cooler weather especially.
• Postpartum Belly Smoother. I’m wearing my BeBand (available at Target) right now at 4 weeks postpartum to smooth things out so that my clothes fit better. If you’re using a Belly Bandit or other postpartum belly binder, you can wear your belly band under it for a better and more comfortable fit. I love my Belly Bandit, but the Original style can be itchy and pinchy. Not so with a belly band underneath!

Have you found any other ways to use a maternity belly band?   

Ruby almost always comes to me and asks me to change her diaper when she’s poopy. 

Sometimes, though, she starts asking me to “Change the poop” when she passes gas, pre-poop, which is what she did today. So I told her, after checking her diaper several times and finding no poop, “There’s no poop. You just farted.”

Her response?

“Mommy, change the fart.”

Um… not sure I need to bother changing a farty diaper.

One has to remember these cute, funny moments with a 2 year old so you don’t kill them later. Like when they scream at naptime. For two weeks.

Ever since the baby came, Ruby’s naptime ritual has changed and she is NOT LIKING it. When I was pregnant, I wasn’t sleeping well at night and needed a nap, so I would lie down with her. Sometimes I would nurse her for a few minutes then she would fall asleep. There were days when it took longer, and she did go through a period where she was fighting naps, but generally I would get up after my own nap (about 20 minutes) and she would stay in bed for another hour or so.

Now, however, I no longer want to take a nap now that I’m sleeping better at night.  Also, for some reason Ruby is hurting me when she nurses. She’s leaving teeth marks on me and I’m considering weaning her because of it. I can’t figure out why she’s doing this or how to stop it.

So, suddenly Ruby is having a very hard time at naptime. I still lie down with her and we cuddle a little. I’ll even nurse her for a minute or two, but I can’t stay with her until she falls asleep anymore (which I’m perfectly willing to do, because she’s usually out within minutes) BECAUSE SHE SCREAMS.

I’ve told her each day “Mommy will stay with you if you’re quiet, but if you scream mommy has to leave. Screaming hurts my ears.”

One would think that this behavior would extinguish after my being consistent for a few days, but it’s going on 3 weeks.

So I end up having to leave her alone to fall asleep on her own, screaming. Which I really hate. I don’t advocate the Cry It Out method and have never employed it to help a child sleep. But… screaming/excessive loud crying is a real button pusher for me. I literally had to walk out of the house a few days ago and pray so as to deal with it the right way. I need it to stop.

Today, things went much better actually.

I downloaded a Pandora app to my phone and I played a kid’s music station for her. She was out like a light. She did scream initially, but when the music started she settled right down and was asleep within minutes.

I think the reason this works is because she listens to the same station when her Dad puts her to bed at night. So the consistency is there.

Have you had a toddler who fought naps? How did you handle it?

I reserved Elizabeth Pantley’s No Cry Nap Solution at the library, I’ve enjoyed her books in the past and interviewed her for the show once, and think it may have some good suggestions. I do know that she HAS to nap. On a typical day she’ll nap for 2 hours, and if she skips it, there will be HECK TO PAY.

Suggestions?

The following post is mostly a reprint of an essay I wrote a couple of years ago called How to Enjoy the Postpartum Period. I thought I would re-post it for my new readers.

How To Enjoy The Postpartum Period

First, some other things I’ve written about postpartum life:

• The challenges of being a new mom
• A podcast about how our actual experience of new motherhood often doesn’t match our cultural expectation
• This article with advice for visitors who drop by

Eat and Drink Well

This can’t be overestimated. Hopefully during your pregnancy you’ve eaten well. If morning/noon/night sickness or food aversions made that difficult, the good news is that once baby is born, food tastes normal and wonderful again. That, and pooping will become easier. And no burping and heartburn!

There aren’t any special rules about eating for motherhood, just make sure you have easy, healthy snacks to grab while you’re nursing. Low blood sugar can hit you like a ton of bricks, leading you to reach for sweets or caffeine for a boost. Bad idea. Have lots of fruits, nuts, cheese, and raw veggies you like on hand. Have hubby or an older kid or your mother or a guest chop these up nice and load them onto a “nibble tray”.

After my 4th was born, my sister gave me this cookbook: The One-Armed Cook: Quick and Easy Recipes, Smart Meal Plans, and Savvy Advice for New (and Not-So-New) Moms. I still love it. After a few weeks “off”, when you get back into the kitchen with a newborn strapped to your body, you still aren’t up to spending an hour cooking every night. These recipes are all EASY and FAST. And no chopping. Hence the name!

Make sure you ASK people ahead of time to bring you dinner those first couple of weeks. People like to help but don’t always know how to ask. Tell them what you really want (in lieu of flowers or baby outfits that will be outgrown in 5 minutes) is DINNER. If you don’t have a network of people available, then bake casseroles and cook stews in your final month of pregnancy, freeze and instruct hubby or an older kid on the finer art of the defrost and cook.

Avoid the habit of drinking caffeine to compensate for fatigue. I see moms all over the internet bragging about how much coffee they drink. This is a disturbing trend, in my opinion. If your body is tired, REST IT. All that coffee isn’t good for your baby if you’re nursing, and it isn’t good for you either. Drink water, and NAP. Sit down to nurse your baby, put your feet up, and relax. Nursing hormones make you feel sleepy to motivate you to de-stress!.

Medicate

I’m not usually one to advocate using drugs, but if you have wicked afterbirth pains like I do (and they get worse after each delivery!), use some over the counter pain reliever to help you manage. Ask your Dr or Midwife what they suggest.

Make sure you have a heating pad, Advil, and AfterEase tincture for after baby’s arrival. When the pains hit, practice your deep breathing exercises, curl up in a ball, or lay on your belly flat on the bed. A glass of wine couldn’t hurt (not with the Advil of course). Some women swear by a liquid calcium/magnesium supplement. Binding your belly can also help, because it keeps the abdomen sucked in and therefore the uterus tight. I used the BellyBandit after my last baby, and loved it.

(<— that’s me, taking my own advice)

Getting Enough Rest

If you haven’t already, and you have other kids who don’t nap, implement a quiet time. If your other kids do nap, then sleep when they sleep.

I really don’t consider the postpartum daily nap (at least for the first 3 months, minimum) a luxury. It is a necessity for your mental state. Even if you can’t sleep, lay down and close your eyes for at least 20 minutes.

The more you rest in the early postpartum week, the better your life will be at 3, 6 and 9 months postpartum.

The easier your milk will flow, and the less you will struggle with low supply, exhaustion, stress and other issues.

Go Outside

If weather is permitting, spend a few minutes outside every day in the first few weeks postpartum. It’s good for the baby (use common sense, keep them out of direct strong sun) because it will help teach them day versus night. It’s good for you because you need the fresh air, the Vitamin D, and to be reminded that there is a huge world out there, and you’re not crazy just because you’re sitting around weeping when you look at your baby. Getting outside reminds you that life will get back to normal soon enough, and you’ll miss those nutty postpartum emotions.

Simplify, Delegate, Systematize

It’s not surprising that God equips moms with this huge surge of energy just before they give birth. This is the time to prepare for life once baby arrives. Some tips:

• Go paper, not cloth. I know, I know. This is usually a place you’ll be encouraged to swap paper towels for microfiber, but during the first postpartum weeks, you have permission to go… whatever the opposite of green is on the color wheel. Use paper plates and plastic utensils. Buy the recycled ones if it makes you sleep better at night. Stock up on disposable cleaning wipes. The funny thing about being postpartum is that you want everything super neat and clean, but you shouldn’t be the one to make it that way!
• Laundry is D.I.Y. Teach any child over 10 how to operate the washer and dryer. And require them to do their own laundry for the first few weeks after you have a new baby. This will have the effect of them producing far less laundry overall, which is a win/win for you once you take over the task. Unless you do what I did, and hand it permanently over to the oldest child.
• Systematize meal planning, homeschooling, and everything else. Whatever you find yourself having to do over and over? Get a better plan for it. You might want to sign up for a meal planner subscription so you don’t have to do this task. I printed out daily checklists for the kids so I didn’t have to do as much reminding.

Pretty Up

Last but not least, do what you need to do to feel cute again. Pregnancy and new mom-hood can do a number on your self image. You’re fatter curvier than you used to be, and nothing fits. And you sure as heck don’t want to don your old maternity clothes!

Set aside some money in the budget to buy yourself some cute new tops. Your old ones won’t fit while your new humongous milk filled boobs do their thing anyway. Buy some new earrings, and some cute flats. Go for flattering bright colors and prints and stripes, not the ubiquitous black you wore in hopes it would slim you. (Yeah, right!)

Splurge on a new lipstick, a pedicure, and trim your hair. Wear comfy nursing bras that actually fit well (helping to prevent mastitis). And absolutely do not stress about losing the pregnancy weight yet. Repeat after me: “9 months on, 9 months off”. Eat well and exercise, and don’t worry too much about the excess weight. Remember that your body may hold on to a few extra pounds as an “insurance policy” to ensure you have enough nourishment to feed your baby. Some women find that last 5 pounds melt off effortlessly once baby is eating solids.

A sign of healthy self esteem is caring about your appearance. Even if it’s just you and baby all day, take time to fix yourself up a little so that when you look in the mirror, you feel good about yourself.

So that’s about it.

What’s your favorite postpartum life advice? What did you do to make things more enjoyable during your babymoons?

I think it would be ideal if a mom lost her voice at least once a year.

As a reminder.

This morning, after a couple of weeks of sore throat, my voice was all froggy and croaky, then pretty much gone.

Oddly, laryngitis can be a gift because it can illuminate a few bad habits that we can so easily slip into that make us less effective as moms. (who, me!?). I posted about this 5 years ago when I mentioned that laryngitis was helping me meet a parenting goal.

I wrote:

“What would change about your day with your kids if you couldn’t speak above a whisper? I found out today.

I had a bit of a cough and sore throat that turned into laryngitis when I woke up this morning. I found myself:

•  touching my kids and hugging more
• going to them (instead of -gasp!- yelling across the house for them to come to me) and arresting their attention before speaking, and
• a total lack of arguing/debating/endless discussion.

You know what kind of arguing I mean… “Mommy can I wear the pink dress?” “No honey that one is sleeveless and it’s cold and rainy out, please wear the purple one.” “Mommy I want the pink dress!” “No honey, the shirt you wear under it blahblahblahblah…”

Instead, I let my first “no” be good enough and held firm. I had no other choice, I couldn’t use a bunch of words (that a 4 year old wouldn’t be listening to anyway).

And so she accepted the answer.”

Not having a voice has made our school day a little more complicated. Caleb had to lead the discussion after Bible reading, and I couldn’t do dictation with Julien and Ilana. No read alouds either, unless the older kids do it.

But other than that, it’s not bad. In addition to what I said above, there are a couple of other “benefits”.

• I’m making sure to get a child’s full attention (eyeballs) before speaking to them. No talking to anyone’s back.
• Since talking is such an effort, I only say things ONCE. I really need to work on this!
• I’m gesturing instead of speaking. And I’m using ONE WORD instead of a bunch of words. Kids know what you mean most of the time. This was a great tip I remembered from the book How To Talk So Kids Will Listen.
• Zero tolerance of Obvious and/or Dumb Questions. (And unlike some people, I DO believe there is such a thing as a Dumb Question and whoever said there isn’t didn’t have several kids!) Kids often ask Obvious or Dumb Questions to get out of work or thinking for themselves. Instead of replying, they get a blank stare.

Now if only I can remember to keep these good habits up once my voice is back!

Have you ever lost your voice? Did it affect how you parented?

[Note: I am not a health care practitioner, I'm a breastfeeding mom with many years of experience who is sharing her own story, and this blog post should not be construed as medical advice. If you are breastfeeding and think you and your baby may have a yeast infection, please seek the advice of a health care professional or La Leche League leader.]

In addition to that disclaimer, I also urge you to get some professional advice if you suspect yeast in order to get an official diagnosis. If the real source of your breastfeeding pain is poor latch, for instance, and you overlook it, your problems will only compound. Since I’ve struggled with yeast infection while breastfeeding in the past, and have counseled many women in person and online about this topic, I know what to look for and feel comfortable diagnosing myself.

This momma should have known better.

While I still suspect that my little one has a mild tongue tie, I don’t think it’s bad enough to cause the pain I’ve been having. I’ve also had several other symptoms that looking back, were probably yeast but I didn’t put two and two together until recently.

Namely:

Itchy Boobs. Yes, I’m confessing to the internets (all in the name of science and helping other mommas!) that my chesticles have been itching badly on and off for weeks. I chalked this up to pregnancy, with hormones and hot weather and skin that is growing and stretching.

Sore Throat. Yeast lives in our throats just like it lives in our sinuses and other… um… mucus membranes. I’ve had a mildly scratchy, sore throat for about 2 weeks and figured it was allergies or the change of weather or just being a little rundown postpartum. Given the other symptoms though, it’s probably yeast.

Gassy, Fussy Baby. I think the yeast infection is causing Baby Victoria to have fussy periods. She also has the characteristic white patches on her tongue and lips and the insides of her cheeks. If these don’t wipe away, it’s thrush (yeast infection in the mouth).

Yeast infections in general are very common in hot, humid, moldy areas like summer in the Southeast. And since milk loves sugar, it likes to hang out in sweet places. Warm, sweet, damp… well that pretty much describes the inside of a breastfeeding mom’s BRA in the summertime! It’s a perfect environment for yeast overgrowth.

Yeast Beast Protocol: My Weapons for Killing and Starving Breastfeeding Yeast Infection

I started my own personal Yeast Beast Protocol this morning in order to beat this thing.

Yeast can be VERY stubborn so you have to attack it from multiple sides. You have to STARVE it as well as KILL it. You also have to treat yourself for two weeks AFTER the symptoms disappear to make sure you’ve eliminated it in your gut.

Here’s what I’m doing.

STARVE THE YEAST:

Since yeast loves sugar, I’m cutting all sugar out of my diet until baby’s and my symptoms disappear. This includes alcohol. (I don’t drink often, but I do enjoy the occasional half glass of wine with dinner.)

I’m also taking probiotics three times a day. Probiotics keep the yeast that naturally occurs in our guts and on our skin in check. (I took probiotics while I was pregnant, but should have kept it up during the postpartum period.)

KILL THE YEAST:

Grapefruit Seed Extract, in capsule form, 1 three times a day. GSE is a powerful antifungal and is regarded as safe for breastfeeding moms and is recommended by many breastfeeding experts. Some people use it, diluted, on their nipples but I am not doing so.

Coconut Oil. Ah, just another reason to love coconut oil! At least one study showed that coconut oil kills candida yeast dead. (And if you Google “coconut oil and yeast” you’ll find hundreds of great articles on exactly how and why coconut oil is effective against yeast.) I already cook with it and take an occasional spoonful straight up, but now I’m taking 1 Tablespoon three times a day.

I’m also putting some straight on my nipples and under my breasts. It’s no big deal if she gets a little of it in her mouth, but I do try to apply it inbetween feedings. It feels so soothing instantly, and will help kill the yeast on my skin. (If she were older and on solids I would feed it to her too.)

Oregano Oil: Oregano oil is discouraged during breastfeeding because it is so potent and nobody has studies its effects on the nursing couple. Also, oregano oil can lower milk supply. However, I AM using it as a throat gargle. Since I’m not swallowing it, the amount that I’ll actually ingest would be miniscule. Oregano oil is VERY effective for sore throats of all kinds, as well as colds and flus. I like Oreganol.

Hydro-C: I have mentioned this supplement before because I use it to stay regular. It was a Godsend during my pregnancy! (It’s not a laxative. If you want to learn more about it, go here.)  I’m using it now because it has high doses of a very easily assimilated Vitamin C for immunity. And since yeast can cause digestive disturbances, it will help with that too.

GI Recovery: Contains FOS, which feeds good bacteria in the gut and starves the bad.

Vinegar: To use in the final rinse in the laundry, for bras, nursing pads, my undies (I don’t have any symptoms of a vaginal yeast infection, but just in case….) and baby’s diapers.

I’ll report back in a week to let you know how all this is working. I suffered terribly with yeast (and so did my baby!) after my first birth. I went undiagnosed for a long time because I didn’t know what I didn’t know… but finally I got in touch with a La Leche Leader who helped me tremendously. I used a few of the allopathic remedies like Gentian Violet, Diflucan and Nystatin… all of which I hated because of their side effects and would not use again! It was natural remedies that made me heal and feel better.

This baby reminds me of my oldest in personality. She nurses ALL THE TIME just like he did, needs several burpings per feeding, has a hard time handling a fast flow of milk and she has an evening fussy time. She cannot be put down (my sister calls it the “Put Down Countdown”, meaning you can put the baby down and barely begin counting before baby starts protesting!) and needs constant holding. (The only difference is, this baby sleeps very well at night for which I am extremely thankful!)

I wonder if some of these symptoms are due to yeast bothering her? We’ll see.

I wrote more about my experience with breastfeeding and yeast infection 4 years ago here on this blog. There is a LOT of wisdom and great advice in the comments too.

Have you struggled with yeast beast? How did you handle it?

I have a lot of things I want to write about. I have 3 notebooks, each filled with notes and dozens of blog posts in the making.

sigh.

It’s more fun to sit around and do this all day.

She has huge feet. I wonder if this means she’ll be tall?

She can also do that freaky thing that I can also do where she stretches her toes waaaaay out like this. Which makes them look even bigger.

She was pretty long at birth. None of her newborn clothing fit, her legs/feet were too long and all jammed up in the footed part, so I had to skip to the 3-6 month sizes.

She’s already growing. I can tell. Her head is bigger around. Her trunk is bigger. It makes sense because she nurses ALL THE TIME. I haven’t had a baby nurse this much since my oldest. (Of course, I am not complaining because she sleeps a long time at night… like 12 hours, waking only once to nurse. Which is just fine by me!)

She also shares a teensy bit of evening fussiness with the oldest too.

I’ve noticed that newborns have nursing personalities. She is definitely a Barracuda/Piranha type. My boobs are killing me. Which seems odd, since *I* definitely know what I’m doing.

I think she has a touch of tongue tie. I spotted it and the midwives did too. Her Pediatrician said it was very mild and probably wouldn’t cause any problems. But the soreness tells me otherwise.

I think I’ll have him take another look or refer me to a specialist at her 2 month checkup.

A few blog posts I have really enjoyed reading (since I’m not writing many!):

– Headmistress at the Common Room talked about dealing with teens, especially adolescent boys. I LOVED this post.

– At Simple Homeschool, one of my favorite bloggers, Anne at Modern Mrs. Darcy asks: “What About Me? On Taking Care of Yourself As a Homeschool Mom“.

– Experimental Wifery shared 10 Lies You Tell Yourself and How To See Through Them. The technical term for these lies is “cognitive bias”. Cognitive bias is a huge interest of mine. I’ve even had the oldest kid read through a list of common biases and sort of memorize them.

Genevieve at the MamaNatural show was sweet enough to announce Victoria’s arrival. You can watch her show below. Seventh Heaven, indeed.

(If this post seems a little backwards, it’s because I wrote it in late June, when I was still pregnant.)

I’ve been in a funk for a few days.

Some of this could be normal, very-very pregnant lady stuff. At 35 weeks, what pregnant woman doesn’t feel like a caricature? It’s 100 degrees out. I’m hot, fat, bloated, sore, tired and eager to not be pregnant anymore. A lot of my mood could be attributed to the unrelenting nausea I’m feeling, the fatigue, and general unease. It could be due to normal inflammation that occurs in pregnant women. (An expert I interviewed on the topic of pregnancy depression discussed this, fascinating stuff.)

On Her Good Mood Checklist: Swinging In The Trees In Your Tea Party Dress

Regardless, I’ve found that no matter what may have triggered the blues, it’s usually exacerbated by my falling behind on some good habits I’ve developed through the years to keep myself in a positive mood.

When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy.’ They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.

- John Lennon

I agree with John. Happiness is important.

Far from being selfish, it’s well worth pursuing. As I’ve talked about in the past, happiness sets a good example for our children. We’re more effective as parents when we feel happy, and we do our marriage mates a favor when we’re in a better mood too. We’re not a whole lot of good to the world when we’re feeling funky.

So when I’ve slipped into a bad mood that lasts more than a day or two, I find it helpful to mentally run through a sort of “good mood checklist”. And invariably, I find that I’ve lapsed in one or more of these areas. Here’s my personal feel good checklist:

• Have I been exercising daily? For me, skipping my daily walk just one or two days a week will have an impact on my mood. I just came in from my walk, and I’m feeling better already.
• Am I getting enough daily sunshine? Vitamin D levels impact our mood and health, but especially for people who are sensitive to light as much as myself, getting enough natural light is imperative. As I write this, temps are 100 here. I’ve been staying inside more in the cool of the air conditioner. Bad idea for me.
• Am I taking my fish oil? Uh-oh. Fish oil has been shown to help stabilize mood. But when I’m pregnant, I tend to slack in the supplements department due to nausea and a strong oral aversion. I took a spoonful of a fermented cod liver and butter oil blend this morning. To my surprise, it wasn’t as unpleasant as I had heard about (this was a new, unopened bottle). And I didn’t burp fish all day either.
• Am I getting enough sleep? Definitely a challenge when you’re 9 months pregnant. My sleep has been interrupted a lot lately due to getting up often to pee at night, trying to find a comfortable position, crazy vivid dreams, and the usual pregnancy suspects. Sometimes taking a quick nap can reset my clock and I’ll feel better immediately.
• Have I neglected my social life? I can’t really blame this, because I’ve been out a couple of times in the last two weeks with a friend, and my mom visited recently too.
• Am I feeling unproductive? Do I need a challenge? For me personally, I find that feeling low is often more about doing too little than doing too much (and needing a break). Activity makes me feel good about myself. A rolling stone gathers no moss, as they say. Boredom is a trigger for low mood. Sometimes the answer to happiness is requiring more of yourself.

These are the biggies for me.

Today I was determined not to feel sad despite feeling awful. So I just focused on tackling The Next Thing on my to-do list. I played with Ruby, took my supplements, went for a walk outside with the kids, and had a nap. I set Pandora to the “Hole” station. (Listening to music you like always helps with mood.) I wrote this blog post. I cleaned out a kitchen drawer (decluttering is a huge mood booster for me). I prayed for Joy. Etc.

What’s on your Good Mood Checklist?

See also: Anatomy of a Bad Mood
My Happiness Project: A Year In Review

The following is a guest post from Nichi Kuechle, a Parent Coach, Childbirth Educator, Doula, and Craniosacral Therapist, and Mom. I interviewed Nichi for the podcast several weeks ago, when we talked about postpartum planning and recovery.

I am not familiar with hard statistics on the subject, but it sure seems that more and more women struggle with infertility, low sex drive and other hormonal issues these days. Many experts (and I agree) feel that our diets play a large role in this. Vegan diets, low fat diets, junk foods that leave out essential fats and replace them with inferior fats… the evidence is coming in that these habits wreak havoc on our hormones.

Nichi is sharing 5 foods that need to be a part of your diet if you want to have a baby.

5 Foods for Fertility

I meet more and more mamas these days who are taking steps before they conceive to prepare their bodies for pregnancy.  I find these women inspiring and fun to coach as they are so ready for the next step.  Though there are lots of foods that support fertility, I will share with you ten that stick out to me, and also, a few we should all be avoiding.

1-Cold water fish

Cold water fish such as salmon, tuna and sardines are a great way to boost your omega-3 fatty acid intake.  These healthy fats naturally reduce inflammation and increase insulin sensitivity.

2-Nuts/Seeds

To get your oils/fats, avocados, nuts/seeds (almonds and walnuts, sesame and pumpkin are the best) high contenders in boosting fertility.  You could also include coconut in this category as coconut meat and oil are high in protein and antiviral properties.  These are all easy to include in granola, oatmeal, hot cereal, or as trail mix or grinding into baked goods or smoothies.

3-Beans and Lentils

Beans and lentils are high in iron and folic acid, so including these in salads, soups, pastas and spreads is a sure way to easily make them a regular in your diet.  I believe that 1 cup of lentils contains 90% of your total daily intake of folic acid, so take the time to prepare these super foods for daily inclusion in your diet.

4-Animal Protein

For concentrated animal proteins, I am a fan of grass fed and organic red meat and chicken.

The fact that these beautiful creatures are pastured, soaking up sun and taking in vital nutrients from the earth while growing to become our food seems more than fair to me.  If you shy away from these foods due to cost, look at these two elements:

1-In my experience, spending our hard earned dollars on high nutrient dense foods has kept our family out of the doctors office for symptomatic care.

2-Purchasing farm direct saves money and supports your local economy and another family just like yours.  The bonus (among many) here is that often these farms are interested in having families out to meet the animals, look around and get educated about the process. I love knowing that our children understand where their food comes from.

Word has it that decreasing your intake of red meat and poultry will boost your fertility, however, including each of them once per week in your diet is a healthy option. This, along with a diet heavily plant based, is a surefire way to a balanced lifestyle.

5-Eggs

Another super easy way to include protein in your daily diet is with eggs.  If you do not have an egg sensitivity, I firmly believe every woman in her childbearing years (pre and post-just in case), should consume 2 eggs every single day.

Along with protein, they are also high in vitamin D and B12.  You want to make certain that your yolks are a deep orange/yellow.  These yolks are much more nutrient dense and fresh, so they are worth the extra cost you may incur by purchasing them from a local food co-op or directly from a farm.  You can also find them at your local farmer’s market, so get friendly with the vendors in your area.

Nichi Hirsch Kuechle supports moms from pregnancy to parenthood as a Parent Coach, Craniosacral Therapist, and Doula in Minneapolis.   She publishes a weekly e-zine called Raising Healthy Babies, which offers tips and ideas to bring ease, clarity and understanding to your parenting.  She also teaches a variety of live and virtual workshops.  You can get Nichi’s New Parent Tool Kit, for free ($30 value!), by going to: http://www.MyHealthyBeginning.com.

Dear Baby V,

This morning your Dad kissed me goodbye and you were snuggled on my left arm and your big sister Ruby was lying on my right arm, having climbed out of her bed early this morning to join me, and I had the realization that I was going to be home ALONE without any other adult to help me today.

And I felt a little scared.

So I lay there in bed and said a prayer.

One wasn’t enough so I said another.

And then I counted it up and I actually got SIX AND A HALF whole hours of sleep last night and that made everything so much better. Maybe your mommy’s insomnia is going away. I don’t feel like a train wreck today.

And then I got up and got dressed (you were still sleeping soundly) and headed to the kitchen to start breakfast. And when I got there one of your big sisters Ilana was melting butter on the skillet and told me She Wanted To Cook My Breakfast and Would I Like Tea With That, and I had to fight back tears because I realized that you have the most wonderful big siblings in the world and that it was going to be ok.

And then at that very exact second Sadie walked over to my desk and pulled out that little coupon booklet of favors for me that she and Ilana made and reminded me that it was time to start using it. And I snapped a picture because it was so awesome.

Or two.

You can’t read yet but that says One Free Clean-Up Of Kitchen!! which is super awesome because you know how twitchy I get when my kitchen is messy.

And then Ilana brought over my breakfast on a tray and I had to take another picture so people will believe me because this stuff is so good I CAN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP.

With cut up cantaloupe and everything.

Meanwhile I heard the dryer running because Caleb had already gotten started on the laundry.

And I realized that my prayer had worked not because of one prayer but because every day of my children’s lives I have served them and they have figured out that serving people you love is a very good thing.

And instead of feeling a little sorry for myself about wanting to be pampered because I am, After All, 6 Days Postpartum, I was thankful that God doesn’t mind a little sarcasm because he put up with sarcasm from Job and all his “woe is me” prayers. And I felt humbled and ashamed and proud all at the same time.

And everything is going to be ok because you have these awesome siblings.

And They Learned It By Watching Me.

Dear Baby V,

Can I let you in on a little secret?

I think this whole insomnia thing has one cause. Ok, maybe two. The first one is, I want to make time stop. And being up in the middle of the night has a strange effect on your perception of time so it kinda works, sorta. The house is quiet and it’s just the two of us which is so lovely.

But also, I think I just want to be alone with you. I hope you don’t think your momma is the most selfish person on earth, but I wish we could be alone for a few days, just me and you. To get to know each other.

And everybody is getting on my nerves.

My hormones are a little addled from the whole “postpartum” thing and also I haven’t slept well in a week. Since you were born I’ve been having it especially hard and haven’t slept more than a couple of hours consecutively. So everything is getting on my nerves a little. I love them all dearly and it’s not their fault. Nobody is doing anything wrong,  it’s just that you are so little and new and precious and I want to shower you with all my attention.

They are all so sweet wanting to hold you and touch you and interact. And I’m glad of that, but I want you all to myself for a little while. I have a new doll and I don’t wanna shaaaare! I’m the one who went through all the work and sacrifice to bring you here, and I’m the one who feels like she was hit by a truck this week, and I’m the one who feeds you and hears your every whimper or heavy sigh while you sleep and I don’t wanna share!

Not just yet anyway.

But since I can’t run away for a weekend and come back all rested and refreshed and not hurting, I have to stay awake all night to watch your eyelids flutter.

You don’t think I’m a selfish person do you? I share everything, even a sip of my iced half decaf Americano with one pump of classic syrup and cream. Which, after several kids take one sip it’s half gone.

So that’s significant.

Plus, I had to wait a whole 13 extra days to meet you so I should get to have you all to myself for awhile.

What I need is a couple of days at a cozy bed and breakfast. Just you and me and one big cozy bed so we don’t wake people up in the night, and hey – the breakfast part is important too, for me who is eating solid foods and all. Then when I come back I’ll be all energetic and happy and healed from the birth and able to take charge of my household again instead of feeling guilty for lying about and then doing too much and giving myself a fever and mastitis.

Like today.

Because nobody can really do my job, see.

Your Dad, he is wonderful and amazing and all but he just isn’t me. He forgets to do things and then when he realizes it’s time to do that thing there are several other things that are now late and causing problems. He is so good though, he tries much harder than most and that’s why you will love him as much as I do. So I would have to be gone to really relax and kiss your little toes with relish for several hours a day, guilt free.

So last night you slept for like, 12,000 hours. From around 9 to 9. You woke up once or twice to nurse and we were both lying in a puddle of milk. When you woke up for the morning you did the sweetest thing. The rest of the family were all sitting around the living room and I heard you give one little cry. In the 0.000179 seconds it took me to run to you, you had already found your little fist and were lying there sucking on it, so sweetly and quietly as if to say, “It’s ok mom. I can be patient. I know you have a lot going on.”

It almost made me cry it was so adorable.

Thank you for being a sweet girl and doing what mommy asked. You let Caleb hold you for a long time today and just made him melt all over you in a big puddle of big brother.

Love,

Mama

Dear Victoria,

You will be 5 days old today at 5:30 PM and Oh My Goodness Gracious, you only woke up twice last night. Actually, the second time I woke you up when I moved you over so I could get back in bed, so that doesn’t count. Anyway I was grateful you woke up because the milk in my chest had filled up to my chin.

So. We’re trying to think of what to call you “for short”. I generally eschew the use of nicknames, but Victoria does have 4 whole syllables and is rather formal for a tiny baby. We will NOT be calling you Vicky or Tori, by the way, and anyone who does call you either of those will be very politely but firmly ignored and/or corrected, depending on Mommy’s mood and the offending party’s general attitude.

A few possibilities:

Ria.

This one is fun because then I could slightly change the words of that old Duran Duran song and sing it to you, like so: “Her name is Ria and she dances on the sand… just like that river twists across a dusty land… and when she shines she really shows you all she can… oh Ria, Ria, dance across the Ria Grande.”

See?

Pop-Pop has already begun calling you Bug, because as he pointed out, your initials are VW. Get it? VW Bug?

How do you feel about Queen V?

Actually, I have already called you Vika a few times. Vika is cool because it almost rhymes with your Dad’s nickname, Zeke. You probably know his name is Zeke because all the kids in this family call him that, especially your big sister Ruby. As in: “ZEKE! Ruby wants some cheese!” and “ZEKE! Kiss. My. Head. NOW.”

She has him on a short leash, that one.

Speaking of knowing people’s names, you already know God’s name is Jehovah because I called out to him over and over when you were trying to be born. Remember? “Jehovah help me. Jehovah make me strong. Jehovah, Jehovah, Jehovah.”

That was during the part when you were coming so fast and my legs were shaking so bad I couldn’t walk. Daddy had filled up the nice warm pool of water for me and it took me 15 minutes to get from the bedroom to the kitchen because my legs were quaking so.

Things you love:

- our daily walks around the neighborhood
- the stove exhaust fan
- sitting upright in the sling, facing me
- your fists. I used to call you The Boxer when you were in my belly, because it felt like you were pummeling me with tiny fists like a kangaroo. Only now I know you were just trying to connect your fists to your mouth so you could suck on them. You were born with a little ridged callous on your hand from all that sucking.

You and I have a few things in common, I’ve noticed.

1) Funny looking feet. Sorry sweetie, but you don’t have a future as a foot model. 2) A hearty appetite. 3) You do that left eyebrow raise thing a la Scarlett O’Hara. It’s useful for intimidating the people around you when you don’t approve of their behavior, by the way, and you’ve already employed it. I present:

4) OH, and we both cry just before we poop.

Mostly I just wanted to say how much I love you. So much. So much that my heart feels all weird in my throat and stuff. So much that I heard myself say to your Daddy last night, “No honey, I don’t want you to get the Big V.”

And by Big V I was not referring to you dear. You’ll understand in another 20 years or so.

I Love You,

Mom

P.S. Do me a favor and throw your big brother a bone, ok? As Alpha Kid, the firstborn child, he takes pride in being good with babies and you’re making him feel sad because you fuss at him when he holds you. Maybe give him a big gummy grin next time. Thank you sweetie.

You know what’s a little nuts?

Having a 3 day old infant sleeping away in the bed at 3 AM while you, on the other hand, cannot sleep.

Yes, kids, I have postpartum insomnia. I’m not surprised, since I’ve had it after all of my births.

Postpartum life is a little crazy, no?

The Good

The good news is, Victoria is doing wonderfully. She is content, she is happy… and judging by the fact that a) I hear gulps and swallows b) my breasts feel like they’re full of grape clusters and c) at only 2 1/2 days postpartum, her poops have already changed from meconium to mustard, the Milk Fairy has arrived. She had her Pediatrician appointment yesterday and everything checked out. She’s perfect. It’s now official.

Her first car ride: Other than looking mildly contemptuous of mom, she did great.

Emotionally I’m doing well. Knowing what to expect during this time helps a lot. I don’t get sad or weepy during the postpartum period and for that I’m very thankful. The big kids are adjusting fine. Other than a little fatigue induced fussiness, Ruby is doing well. She is totally enamored with her little sister and so far is very gentle with her, smothering her with pats and kisses.

So that’s good.

The Bad

The bad news is, even though my active labor was only a couple of hours long, I feel like I’ve been in a car accident. Things that didn’t even bother me while I was pregnant are now screaming at me.

For example, I had no back pain this pregnancy. None. (Mostly thanks to following Katy Bowman’s recommendations and stretching exercises, mentioned here.) My swelling was minimal. Other than nausea, I was really quite comfortable up until those last few days.

But now, now that the baby is out and I’m eager to feel like my old self again, now I feel as if I had an unfortunate run-in with Tyler Durden and his Fight Club.

My back hurts. What is UP with my knees? They’re killing me. (Apparently I have relaxin to thank for this.) My wrists and forearms are throbbing. My neck and chest muscles and throat hurt and even my voice is hoarse. My ankles are sore. My abs ache. (Small favors: my girlie bits feel just fine. No tearing.) I am gassy and burping.

The Ugly

Nobody tells you that after your beautiful new baby is born, you’ll look like one of those tabloid pics of a freshly post-op facelift patient.

I remember looking at pictures of myself after having my first couple of babies and thinking, “Who IS that strange looking person?!” Followed by: “Mental note. Do not allow anyone to snap my photo again in the first week postpartum.”

My face does not look like my face. When I was pregnant I had very little swelling, but now? My eyelids are so swollen at the moment that my eyes resemble slits. I cannot locate my cheekbones and even my lips look weird. I know Lipton makes a family size tea bag, but do they have one big enough to cover my entire face? It might help with the swelling.

Oh, well.

Insomnia does have its perks: it gives me plenty of time for middle of the night Google searches. Here are some things I’ve learned and are doing to manage the discomforts:

• Hot showers. Tub baths are off limits until the lochia stops. I wish they weren’t, because I can’t imagine anything more pleasurable at the moment on my achy body! Until then, hot showers feel amazing. (Just don’t stay in too long as you might get dizzy.) Update: My midwives told me yesterday after their follow-up visit that tub baths are OK. Guess what I’ll be doing later?! Hell-o, Epsom salts!
• Heating pad. You? Meet heating pad, your new best friend. Use it when you lie down for your aching back and belly.
• Ibuprofen. Those wicked afterbirth pains I anticipated aren’t quite as bad this time. My midwife recommended 800 milligrams of ibuprofen every 6 hours. I started this dose as soon as I remembered after baby’s birth, and kept it up the first 24 hours. Now I’m tapering off to about 2 a day and the cramps are super mild. Yay! It seems the key is to medicate before the cramps kick in.
• Massage. Rubbing my knees with essential oils is helping them feel better. My wedding anniversary is coming up in a couple of weeks, and I asked hubby to put other gift plans aside and buy me a massage. He gratefully agreed to the plan. I can’t wait!
• Arnica. Taking homepathic arnica helps with that overall bruised feeling, and you can use the cream to rub into achy places.
• B vitamins. The owner of my local health food grocery recommended this, and it does seem to be helping with overall wellbeing.
• Calcium/Magnesium. This helps make that first poop soft and easy. And calcium and magnesium help with pain too.
• Stretch. Aches and pains are part of the postpartum experience because of the hard work you did during labor and also because your body is adjusting to new posture. Without the baby bump, you feel like a Jenga game… pieces are suddenly missing and you have to figure out how to walk, sit, stand, breathe, sleep again. You’re unstable especially due to high levels of Relaxin hormone. This is why knee pain is common now… Stretching helps realign things nicely. Doing the calf stretches that Katy Bowman recommends (part of a workout you can find here) help release stuck fluid in your feet and ankles and just generally feel awesome. When you sit, make sure your pelvis isn’t tucked under. Bad posture is really a problem when you’re first beginning breastfeeding so be sure to prop baby well with pillows so you’re not slouching.
• Walk. A lot of the achy pains postpartum women experience are due to the body attempting to get rid of excess fluids. The swelling from extra fluid causes pinched nerves in the wrists, for instance. Walking helps move edema out of the body. The day after Victoria was born I walked a mile and it felt amazing. I did the same the next day and plan on keeping this up. I walked every day during my pregnancy and it went a long way towards making me more comfortable and avoiding problems, and it feels great to walk now too.

What are your best tips for dealing with postpartum aches and pains?

At long last, Victoria made her appearance (13 days late!) on Tuesday, August 14 at 5:30 pm. Weighing in at 8 pounds 7 ounces, 21″ long, born in the water into her father’s hands after a very short (but extremely intense!) 2.5 hour labor.

She is doing beautifully, nursing like there’s no tomorrow and adjusting to life with all her excited siblings.

Longer birth story coming soon…

[Note: I wrote this blog post the day I found out I was expecting. I've always started sharing the big news before the urine had time to dry on the stick, and this time I wanted to keep a little secret for awhile. To see if I could. It didn't last long, maybe a week? I can't keep something like that from my husband, or my mom. But it was kind of fun for a minute.

How long did you wait to tell people your news?]

- November 27, 2011 -

I sit here in my favorite spot on the sofa. The one by the big windows.

It’s early, everyone is asleep.

I look out and see the clouds, parting, undulating brilliant colors, peeking slivers of bright sunlight.

I took a pregnancy test earlier.

I have a secret.

I wonder if I can sit with it just a little while. How long I can hold out before I share my news with my husband, my mother.

Just me.

And the little one.

Funny, we bought an 8 passenger car yesterday.  It’s already too small.