Furious About Breastfeeding?

March 23, 2009

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“Being stuck at home breast-feeding as he walked out the door for work just made me unreasonably furious, at him and everyone else.”


I might as well join the chorus of voices blogging this week about “The Case Against Breastfeeding“.

But instead of picking apart the author’s arguments (among them: the research doesn’t really show a strong benefit of breastfeeding, it takes too much time and makes meaningful work impossible, it shackles women and keeps them down, etc), I am just going to focus on the one quote mentioned above.

If breastfeeding your baby makes you “stuck at home” and “furious” at the world, then you probably shouldn’t do it.

That doesn’t mean it’s not best. It just means you have a major attitude problem.

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7 Responses to “Furious About Breastfeeding?”

  1. dawnaurora on March 23rd, 2009 10:13 am

    I cannot believe there is such a crappy attitude towards breastfeedling. Everyone has their own opinion and what works for them, but lose the crappy attitude. Also, I wouldn’t follow anyones opinion except my own. The person writing the article sounds too sensative to what others think. They need to get over it.
    I am breastfeeding and loving it. It works for me and my little guy right now. =)

  2. Mendy on March 23rd, 2009 10:14 am

    I’ve had a great experience breastfeeding my first son (still nursing regularly at 16 months) but I did want to share one possible insight into the breastfeeding quote. During my early months breastfeeding, I regularly experienced a surge of negative emotions (something like hopelessness, self-disgust, and frustration) during let-down. After a minute or two the feeling would go away, but it really bothered me since I’d always heard about the feel-good hormones that are supposed to accompany breastfeeding. So I did some research online and found only one resource on this phenonmenon: http://www.d-mer.org. A mom and lacatation consultant who also experienced negative feelings while nursing created a blog and then a website to explore this issue. It turns out that there were a lot of moms out there who felt this way with feelings ranging from depression, nausea, even rage. A lot–like me–were able to work through it and continue with a great nursing relationship, especially with the encouragement that we weren’t wacky or bad moms for feeling this way. Others shared they’d had such a hard time with it that they’d thought about giving up. It seems that it’s hormonly driven and some treatment options are being explored. Anyways, I just thought it was a resource worth sharing. Thanks for the great blog, website, and podcasts, I’ve learned so much from you and your guests.

  3. carrie on March 23rd, 2009 10:17 am

    @Mendy - thanks so much for sharing that. I wonder if the author of the article was suffering from this phenomenon and didn’t know it?

    I have also heard of something similar being experienced by sexual abuse victims while breastfeeding. Thanks for the resource.

  4. casual friday everyday on March 25th, 2009 10:37 am

    I didn’t have time to read all of the article, only the first half of the page LOL I just want to say that I agree with her in the reaction she got. When I quit, not because I just didn’t want to nurse anymore, I got a lot of judgment.

    As far as loathing it, and being resentful that you’re “stuck” at home nursing a child while your husband works… that is just crazy. If you hate it that much, then don’t do it. For heavens sake.

  5. Jen Knox on April 13th, 2009 1:53 pm

    What I love about you Carrie, is that you are a strong advocate for breastfeeding, but even more a strong advocate for women doing what is best for them! :) You were very helpful to me when I had a horrible time with BF (son simply refused in every way possible to do it for first 5 weeks of my life) and quitting BF to regain my sanity and enjoy my baby was why I quit. But there was no judgment about doing so.

    I think the problem is that not everyone who is pro-BF is as understanding and there is a tremendous stigma to not doing it, especially if you are surrounded by people who preach about it too much without knowing why someone is having trouble. It really can drive you crazy when someone is having trouble. I guess someone can also feel that way even if they aren’t having trouble, and if so, I agree that they should stop. All of those moments that are spent in frustration with it, could be spent enjoying life with one’s new baby and that is infintely more important than where baby’s food source came from. :) I agree….that author should not do it if it causes that much stress. It’s not good for her or baby.

  6. Jen Knox on April 13th, 2009 1:54 pm

    Whoops…should have said, “he refused to do it the first 5 weeks of HIS life!”….

  7. aliza on April 23rd, 2009 8:30 pm

    First of all if you are not comfortable or resentful, it is probably an indicator you should not be BF, however if being stuck is the issue, what about a breast pump. Pump and go…if you don’t want to pump, get a cover and go. You can feed your little one anywhere from my experience.

    Maybe being stuck is not the real issue…

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