Since October is Attachment Parenting Month, we decided to kickoff Green Moms Weekly with a question about just that:
“How do you balance your busy lifestyle and manage to keep a focus on attachment parenting?”
I have to admit, this question was tough for me.
Not because I don’t think it’s possible to practice attachment parenting if you have a busy lifestyle. Because I do. I’ve known mothers who breastfed their babies while working a full time job outside the home. Who “wore” their babies every moment they were with them, who co-slept, and who found that their babies decided to “reverse cycle” (sleep more during the day, get most of their calories at night) so as to maximize the time with mom.
Attachment parenting seems even more important for a parent with a busy lifestyle to stay connected to their child.
As for me, my choices have been pointed in the direction of un-busy-ness.
Everything from working from home, choosing homeschooling, and deciding not to have the kids in regular extracurricular activities points to two of my most treasured values: simplicity and flexibility.
I find that babies and toddlers and preschoolers are happiest when they don’t spend too much time in a car. When they have plenty of time to play outside.
Oddly, my oldest is also happiest at home. He often opts to stay in when I go out.
Still, life does get busy at times.
Attachment parenting helps you stay connected, even when life is busy.
For example, breastfeeding forces you to, at least several times a day, stop and focus on your baby. Breastfeeding a baby in a sling while you do other things is fine once in awhile… but at my daughter’s stage of life, not focusing when she needs my attention could mean a well timed bite!
Babywearing allows you to get a lot done and meet baby’s needs, especially when they’re little and mostly just need your physical presence.
But as babies grow up into big kids, things change a little. They don’t need your physical presence all the time, but they do need your focused attention and eye contact from time to time.
Here are a couple of things that help me stay connected with my bigger kids when life gets a little busier than usual:
- Read Aloud
I find this activity very relaxing, and it’s a great way to connect with your kids in the middle of a busy day. Sometimes when I’m feeling stressed, I will gather all the kids around and have them sit for a read aloud. They love it. Even the 13 year old. If you’ve never read Jim Trelease’s wonderful book on the many benefits of reading aloud, even to much older kids, I highly recommend it! - Physical Touch
No matter what, I begin and end the day with hugs and kisses with my kids. When my 10 year old was going through a rough patch, I gave him a coupon card good for a “Free Hug anytime”. He has redeemed it many times! Even with my 13 year old, I make sure I squeeze in plenty of those sideways “guy hugs” through the day, or I’ll put my arm around his shoulders if he’s sitting next to me.
I find that when I’m unusually busy, my kids don’t seem to suffer for it… but my parenting skills might go out the window. It doesn’t always work, and I do sometimes do things in a flurry of activity, but when I remember to pace myself, I’m much more effective as a mom.
You can read what the other Green Moms had to contribute to this topic on their blogs!
- Rachel at HappyGreenBabies
- Tiffany at NatureMoms
If you want to join us for Green Moms Weekly, be sure to leave your link at Rachel’s blog 
I agree with keeping things as simple as possible. Kids weren’t meant to spend countless hrs per wk in extracurriculars, same as adults shouldn’t feel obligated to volunteer on a dozen different activities that don’t relate to their calling in life.
I agree with simplicity and flexibility as well. We live a simple life, focused on spending time with family and close friends. We share family meals together always and spend much of our playtime just outside in the front or backyard. My kids don’t have a ton if toys…I try to limit them as much as I can. As a result my oldest (he’ll be 3 in December). Has an awesome imagination and does very well learning and playing by himself.
Keeping it simple is key in this house as well.
I had the privilege to see Jim T. in his last talk before retirement. So inspiring! We love reading aloud.
I love the ‘free hug’ coupon. That’s a gorgeous idea. My 6yr old is doing her first extra curricular activity tomorrow. A half hour horse riding lesson which might take place once a fortnight or month. And I would like her to have piano lessons, but that’s about as busy as it’ll get. We are involved in 3 different homeschooling groups but we don’t attend anything on a regular basis. I actually don’t cope myself if we have too many planned activities and I agree, kids don’t need it. We’ve just moved and we have a park and commons area right across the road. Perfect!
We keep things simple, too. My kids do afterschool activities, but only one sport per season, it’s too crazy for everyone to do more than that. When they are in a sport, it’s important to support them. I’ve gone to just about every one of my son’s games or events, and my husband and I have also been the coach.