Occasionally I get questions from readers. Instead of answering directly with just my thoughts, I like to get the mom’s permission to post here and get your wisdom. What advice or tips would you give? Leave them in the comments below.
I have a 5 month old who has been giving me trouble with breastfeeding since he was 3 months old. I feel like he hates the breast and even when I bring him NEAR me he’ll scream.
For one entire month I would rock him to sleep and then feed him in his sleep. That doesn’t work anymore. The doctors have said that he is losing weight because he is not taking enough milk- but how do I feed him if he refuses to latch on??
He does not take the bottle AT ALL and is exclusively breastfed.
I have tried more skin to skin contact, different positions, letting him get more hungry, feeding ON TIME before he seems hungry, singing to him, rocking him, anything you can think of.
Please help me and tell me what to do.
I’m sorry you’re having trouble. It’s so hard when baby seems to be rejecting you! But rest assured that babies always have a good reason for this behavior, and it can be solved quickly- it just takes a little detective work on mom’s part.
The first thing that comes to my mind is the possibility that your baby is having some pain or soreness when being held in the breastfeeding position. This can be due to a mild injury that takes place at birth (quite common actually!). I would especially suspect this if you had a long or difficult birth, but it can happen even with a very short or more uneventful birth.
You may want to take him to a Chiropractor or Osteopath for an adjustment. These aren’t painful for babies, and you may notice a difference immediately. Incidentally I have experience with this issue. My second child had no problems nursing at first, but he began fussing and crying when I tried to nurse him on one side. I took him to a Chiropractor who did a quick adjustment. That next feeding was no problem, and he had no trouble again after that. Apparently he had some tightness in his neck and shoulders from either the position he was in before he was born, or from strain that happened during his birth.
Secondly, get in touch with a La Leche League leader in your area who can observe you latching baby on. Some LLL leaders make house calls, and they are volunteers so there is no charge. You may even want to do this first, before spending the money on a health care provider. You can find an LLL leader via the website. Time is of the essence here. If baby is losing weight, you need to find help immediately. It’s possible that your milk supply could downshift in response, so be sure to pump when baby misses a feeding.
Another possibility is that your baby has thrush. Have you had a vaginal yeast infection? Does your baby have white patches inside his mouth? If you have any burning, pain, discomfort in your nipples this would be a giveaway, but sometimes mom doesn’t present with symptoms even when her baby has thrush. I wrote an article on breastfeeding and yeast infection that will help you diagnose and treat this common problem. Babies with thrush will sometimes reject the breast because sucking is painful for them.
Some other things to rule out: an allergy that baby may have to something on your clothing or body. Some sensitive babies will cry if mom uses perfume or fragrance, a new deodorant, detergent or fabric softener in her clothing.
One final tip: I don’t know if you have tried nursing baby while skin to skin in the bathtub. Some babies will latch on in the tub when they have trouble at any other time. Definitely take the steps mentioned above, but try this right away.
I wish you all the best! Likely you’ll be able to overcome this hurdle and continue to breastfeed. Get some help from an LLL leader.
I read your article on how to potty train in 2 days and I did everything you said, but my son seemed to think it was one big joke and would pee on purpose everywhere.
He just turned 2 and we have other kids in the house so when they saw him peeing on the floor they squealed and he seemed to think it was funny and has been doing it since.
I had to put the pamper back on. He used to be potty trained (would tell me when he had to go #2) but now does it in the pamper and THEN tells me.
I really want to train him before he’s 2.5 and I’ve heard you’re quite the genius so any advise would be highly appreciated.
I’m not sure I deserve the title of genius but thanks for the compliment! You wouldn’t be the first mom who found her efforts to train her toddler towards a certain behavior to be foiled by older siblings! It looks like they accidentally trained your little guy to repeat this behavior. Don’t ask me how my 20 month old knows the word “fart”, by the way.
First I would start by having a discussion with the older kids. Tell them you need their help in getting the little man potty trained. Tell them to totally ignore it when he pees anywhere but the potty, but congratulate him and make a big deal out of when he succeeds in using the potty. Have them talk up the fact that they use the toilet. Younger siblings naturally try to imitate the older ones.
Since your son has used the potty successfully in the past, this may just be a temporary setback. Sometimes it’s “two steps forward, one step back”. That’s ok. All kids are different and there is no deadline. But one very important component is mom’s determination. If I were you, I would get rid of all the diapers. No diapers in the house, period (except for the younger baby). This move tells him you mean business.
Yes, you’ll likely have some more messes to clean up – but you can have HIM help with this. Not in a punitive, shameful way. Act just the same as you would if he spilled his milk on the floor. Say something like, “Oh, goodness. There’s peepee on the floor. Peepee goes in the potty. Well, here’s a towel. Please clean it up, then we will play“. He can also take his soiled underwear to the hamper.
Toddlers can change overnight. He’s almost there, just give it a little more time.
Those were my thoughts.
Do you have any other advice, “been there done thats” or encouragement?
Disclosure: This information is not to be construed as medical advice. Carrie is not a doctor. It’s wise to consult a health care practitioner you trust before taking action on any health information you read on the internet.