Homemade *FAIL*

I try hard to make things homemade as often as I can. Especially if the homemade version is more natural, less toxic, healthier, and cheaper.

Laundry detergent is an example. There’s natural hair conditioner, shampoo, facial moisturizer, homemade lip balm. Sauerkraut and kefir are two more.

A few years ago, I enjoyed making my own natural olive oil soaps (not the melt and pour, mind you. The real stuff with thermometers, eye goggles, and lye).

But I admit, not every DIY/natural/homemade project I’ve undertaken was successful.

Some have been epic FAILs.

Can you relate?

Here are some of my recent failed projects.

Homemade Raw Milk Yogurt

Every batch I’ve attempted failed. It just never set. I followed directions precisely, and it was as runny and watery as … milk. I haven’t given up, though. I’m going to keep at it, and perhaps next time use pasteurized. I hear that sometimes the natural bacteria in raw milk (which, in part, makes it so good for you) sometimes “competes” with the starter culture.

And although I’ve made homemade kefir, sauerkraut, homemade lacto-fermented salsa and kombucha many times, my homemade pickles also never turned out (they were covered in mold before the culture period ended).


Homemade Natural Baby Wipes

For years I’ve seen for making your own baby wipes. With my other babies, I used cloth wipes, but for some reason my cloth wipes have all disappeared. So for the last few months I’ve been using disposables, which I don’t want to continue doing. I followed Kitchen Stewardship’s recipe to the letter, including using the Viva paper towels (and normally I never buy paper towels!).

The result? My wipes were too narrow, too fuzzy/linty, they tore easily in my hand while cleaning poopies, and they *mildewed* despite my adding tea tree oil to the wipe solution!


At least they had fun planting it!


For two years in a row hubby and I have planted a garden: one year, a container garden on our sunny back deck, the second year, a raised bed. Before we married, he was successful at growing tomatoes and jalapenos. But my black thumb must’ve rubbed off. Our gardens, both years, were a disastrous failure. We literally got no edible produce either time, and so wasted our time and money.

Through the years I’ve tried my hand at kitchen herb gardens in pots, and same thing… I can’t grow anything but children, apparently. ;)


Another: I use homemade dishwasher detergent about 50% of the time. The reason I only use it 50% of the time is because if I use it every time, my dishes don’t get clean, and the inside of my dishwasher turns a rusty color and starts growing slime. I’ve tried dozens of recipes, and none of them work as well as commercial dishwasher detergents. :-(

Oh well. I guess you can’t win at everything, eh?

What are some of your natural living/DIY/homemade FAILS?


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One Response to Homemade *FAIL*

  1. Jeanette says:

    Yeah… I hear ya on the dishwasher thing. Either my drinking glasses get that grey film on them, or everything is covered in fat that didn’t get washed off. I’m about to give up on that one myself, actually!

    And I cannot for the life of me seem to make my own bearnaise sauce – it gets ruined every single time I try.

    My garden was a disaster too this year, but luckily/sadly that wasn’t my fault – everybody had a bad crop here in Norway, as the weather has been terrible.

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