I’m just reading this post over a year later, but I’ve been comung up against these same questions myself recently, in different ways. I don’t see the harm in praising children for their talents or abilities, especially when the label “smart” comes from a history of effort or study. What is wrong with letting a child feel a sense of accomplishment for hard work she has done? Telling a child that he or she is beautiful is also appropriate, in my opinion. My theory is that there is a reason parents are gaga over their own kids. who better to raise a child than the kid’s biggest fan? I agree with you that I don’t see the point in empty compliments–compliments that are given so frequently or thoughtlessly that they lose all meaning, but the mom at the playground who is cheering her child down the slide may have good reason. Has that child just conquered a long-held fear of heights? Is this her first slide ever? Maybe the child has a motor delay and climbing to the top of the slide is a real accomplishment that deserves praise? When I hear my six year old clapping her hands and jumping up and down with glee and encouragment because her little sister just used the potty or her little brother zipped his own coat, I know that that early childhood praise is appropriate and essential. It has a place and it didn’t “go to her head.” It went into empathy, and confidence, and well-being, and an extraordinary generousity of heart so that she truly is excited and pleased at another’s (even minor) success.