Alyssa over at Mom’s Talk Network tagged me to ask what was my biggest mothering mistake.
That’s easy. 
I regret allowing my 7 year old son to undergo surgery when he was just a toddler.
He had several cavities and his dentist insisted that he have general anesthesia in order to fill his cavities. It’s not like me to cave to the pressure of something a Doctor tells me – not at ALL.
But for some reason I did this time.
He was not yet 2 years old – around 19 months or so – and had to be checked into the hospital. It was so scary.
Since then I have learned that a parent can cure tooth decay or at least arrest its development with strict dietary changes. I’ve also found research that points to dangers of using general anesthetic for children. In animals, anesthesia damages the brain.
Another reason I regret the decision to allow my son to have oral surgery is because his Dentist put mercury fillings in his mouth. I explicitly told her NOT to do so. She agreed that she would not.
But when he was wheeled back to the recovery room and to me, he had a mouth full of silver.
I have often wondered if my son’s learning dificulties may stem from this exposure to mercury and anesthesia. I’ll never know for sure. Every time he loses one of those filled teeth, I rejoice. His adult teeth are coming in beautiful and straight and cavity free.
If I was in this position again, I would have a watch and wait attitude. I would have told the Dentist that I would take legal action against her if she was to put mercury in my child’s mouth. And if dealing with the cavities was absolutely imperative, I would search for a Dentist who would deal with them one at a time, with local anesthetic.
What about you? What mistakes or regrets do you have?
And I’m also tagging a few of my blogging mamas:
Tiffany @NatureMoms
Nell @CasualEveryday
Jen @MadebyMoms
I am so sorry this happened to your little guy, that must have been so difficult. I am not yet a mama (I will be in May!) but I will keep this story in mind when it comes to healthcare.
Oh my, that’s awful! I think my head would have exploded if I saw the mercury fillings in my baby’s mouth… I could imagine you were furious!
Is it horrible of me to say that I’ve never taken my three-year-old to the dentist? I have so many bad memories of dentists — pulling nine teeth, having to do two root canals on one tooth because it was done wrong — that I just can’t see taking my little boy there yet. It’s made me feel better that my pediatrician is on the same page as me (with vaccines, natural diet, dentists, everything) and agrees I don’t have to take him until around four. I also don’t like how the ADA has stuck with amalgamated fillings (amalgated?) and made the claims that they’re perfectly safe. Right.
*hugs* I’m so sorry about your little boy.
I’ll write a blog post on my biggest regrets at the end of this weekend. Daddy brought home a stomach virus from work and I think my son now has it (either that, or he’s just enjoying throwing his lunch up… I’m partial to the first option), and my aunt passed away a few days ago… so I’m staying away from the blog at the moment.
Don’t think that I forgot, though
Take care and thanks for tagging me!!
Jen
I just posted mine, complete with horrifying picture:
http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/2009/02/05/motherhood-regrets-and-mistakes/
I don’t know that the tooth decay was caused by your son’s diet. I’ve known a couple of mom’s with good diets, lots and long breastfeeding, etc. that had toddler tooth decay. It is baffling sometimes.
My biggest regret was panicking and taking my then 3 year old to the doctor. She had gotten a cold and refused to blow her nose. This caused extreme stuffiness and she didn’t sleep all night. I don’t believe in much over the counter med use. The next day, she was in a daze. My favorite book, “How to Raise a Healthy Child in Spite of Your Doctor”, says if they don’t act themselves after a few days, go ahead and take them to see a doctor.
I knew she had pneumonia but didn’t know it was the non-life threatening variety that would heal with plenty of rest. The nurse practitioner agreed it was pneumonia. I didn’t need x-rays to confirm it (thank God!!). But she did prescribe no fewer than 5 drugs for my daughter and one year old son (he was sick too but not bad). I filled the antibiotic and gave both kids the entire course. I also gave them the sample “anti-stuffiness” drug (what are those called??) that was not for kids. The other prescriptions were tossed.
The anti-stuffiness stuff worked like a charm. My daughter slept through the night and was herself the next morning.
My regret? The antibiotics. In hindsight they were not needed. Just something to help her sleep. What the antibiotics may have done to their immature immune systems I’ll never know. Now I keep a kids’ sudafed around and use it only if someone is having trouble sleeping.
The hygenist at my dentist’s office own son had 4 cavities at age 2. She was not alarmed at all, bad genes was the reason. Being a hygenist she was doing everything right for his little mouth and she also absolutely refused to put him under general anasthesia. She waited until he was a little older to get them filled and thankfully he did great.
Mothering regrets? So far I have none. Am I mistake free? Let me answer that after I finish laughing hysterically.
No I am not mistake free, but, so far, I am using those mistakes as lessons in what not to do. I have not done anything that makes me clutch my gut in guilt and despair…………yet.
Charlotte
http://noteasilyoffendedmoms.blogspot.com/