How to Get Husbands to Help More Around the House

How to Get Husbands to Help More Around the House

A marriage is a partnership in every sense of the word. A husband and wife must work together to keep a household running smoothly. But who should do what is often a source of conflict.


Moms usually get the job of taking care of the kids and keeping the house clean while their husbands work. But unlike several decades ago, wives and mothers usually have to hold down a job as well in order for a family to make it. It can be difficult to juggle all of these things ourselves. Getting husbands to help around the house can make our jobs easier and less stressful.

Interestingly, at least one study has pointed to a benefit when dads help out more with household chores: A professor at the University of California analyzed data of more than 3,000 families and found that when kids see their Dad performing chores, they’re more likely to get along with their peers and less likely to be troublemakers in school than those who only see Mom working around the house.

* If you need help with something specific, ask. Most husbands are willing to do specific tasks when we have our hands full and they don’t. If possible, ask him to do something that he enjoys, or at least doesn’t openly hate to do.

* Find tasks that you can do together or alongside each other. This will allow the two of you to spend time together while also getting something done. And the pleasure of your company might make an undesirable chore more palatable.

* Offer to help him with his projects. If you are willing to help him clean his car or do the yard work, he will surely appreciate it. Then he might be more likely to offer to help you out when you are working around the house.

* If you prefer a more structured approach, assign specific chores to everyone in the house. You could make a chart that tells which chores everyone is to be in charge of. Consulting with your husband when doing this is crucial. If he is included in the decision making process, he will be more willing to follow along.

* Give lots of praise when your husband does help around the house for positive reinforcement. Nitpicking about the things he did wrong will only make him less willing to help. While it’s acceptable to offer some constructive criticism, it is essential to find something positive to say as well. Educate your husband: tell him that one study showed that kids who see their Dad doing household chores are less likely to be delinquent and more likely to be well adjusted and happy. Other studies have shown that women who do more household chores suffer from depression in greater numbers.

Getting your husband to help around the house may be effortless, or it may require a little coaxing. By letting him know how hard you work to try and get everything done and asking him to do specific things rather than expecting him to know what to do on his own, you can often get some willing assistance. And the end result will be a neater, cleaner, and happier home.