I Heart Morning Sickness

Posted on January 14, 2012 by carrie

I complain about morning sickness. I do. (I hate calling it that, because it’s 24 hours a day for me and many women.)

But don’t misunderstand.

I’m grateful for morning sickness.

At my first prenatal appointment, my midwife couldn’t hear the baby’s heartbeat.

She told me not to worry, that you can only hear it 50% of the time at this stage, and that my uterus (which is tipped) is way down in my bowels. They would have had to skewer me with the Doppler to get at baby’s heartbeat, my own was so loud.

I had to remind myself to breathe.

Later on, on the drive home, hubby asked me if I was worried.

“No. But I would be, if I wasn’t sick 24 hours a day.”

The sickness, although a curse, is oddly comforting. It reminds me, moment by moment, of what my body is doing. It tells me that my hormone levels are high enough to sustain the pregnancy.

Last night as I lay in my bed in the dark quiet, asking the room to please stop spinning, I picked up my phone to see if there was something interesting I could watch on TED.com to distract me.

This came up.

Warning: If you get to the end of this short video without tearing up, call an ambulance. Because you have no pulse.

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Ass+U+Me

Posted on January 13, 2012 by carrie

You know what I find interesting lately?

What people assume.

I was taught that when you assume, you make an ass+u+me.

But, I was raised right. Not everyone learned that wisdom.

I find it humorous that people assume that because you have several children, you are overwhelmed and stressed.

I am neither.

(What I am at the moment is nauseated, but that will pass.)

That having several children is “hard”.

It’s not. At least, not for me.

That they must be accidents.

That you must not understand how the plumbing works. That you’re too ignorant to use birth control.

That a 7th child in the household couldn’t have been planned.

And they would be wrong.

Call me crazy, but I have this notion that children are a blessing.

The other day when an acquaintance I hadn’t seen in a few years met my husband and found out we had 6 children together and were expecting another, she exclaimed:

“I hope you have a good job!”

(My husband said the next time someone asked him that, he would reply, “No, I just have a really good wife!” Ain’t he sweet?)

When he assured her that he was a business owner and doing quite fine, her next question was:

“Well what about health care!?”

Umm, impertinent much? I wonder if she would appreciate my asking if her husband was prepared for retirement just because he is in his 60′s?

I can’t imagine asking someone about their financial situation. I also can’t imagine making assumptions like this about people. I can’t imagine commenting on someone’s choice of family size, or birth control, or the mechanics of sex. I honestly don’t care what someone else decides to do with their life. Their choices don’t affect me.

But these are things people say to parents of large families.

The truth is, having several children makes you smarter about where your money goes. My husband and I budget carefully. Just last night we held a Couples Meeting where we discussed the budget, make adjustments, looked at our overall financial picture, and discussed our goals.

We’re doing fine. We have no credit card debt, we just paid cash for our vehicle, we recently took an 8 day vacation, we have savings on hand for emergencies and we earn more than enough to provide for our family. Considering these facts, I would say we are doing far better than many who are saddled with credit card debt and live paycheck to paycheck.

Why am I called upon to defend myself?

Do people who assume that mothers of many are unhappy and stressed simply feel threatened? Perhaps because they don’t enjoy motherhood? I never asked for the title, but several friends have dubbed me SuperMom. Would this cause another mom to feel inferior and make inappropriate comments to me?

More assumptions about large families, just for the fun of it:

  • That your home must be a mess all the time
  • That you live in chaos
  • That you never get a quiet moment to yourself
  • That you live off the government, or even better… child support (don’t make me laugh with that last one!)
  • That your house is always loud and crazy
  • That you don’t spent time with the children individually
  • That you and your spouse can’t get alone time
  • That the breadwinner works 70+ hours a week.

I suppose you can learn a lot about a person by what they assume.

No?

My standard answer to these kinds of inappropriate questions from now on? I’m going to turn it around on the person and ask them how they’re doing in that particular area. People reflect onto your their own concerns. They reflect what’s in their heart.

Comment: “Another baby?! You guys need to get the snip!”

Reply: “Actually, we planned this child and are quite happy. Are you worried about your family planning?”

Comment: “How are you guys going to pay for all those kids?”

Reply: “We’re doing fine, thanks. Are you concerned about your finances?”

What do you think?

Posted in Mothering | Tagged , | 6 Comments

Growny

Posted on January 5, 2012 by carrie

A couple of weeks ago Sadie, 6, announced that she would make breakfast every day. I guess she figured since I’m not doing it, someone had to. And it might as well be her. I like that attitude.

This morning she made oatmeal and scrambled eggs. Everyone ate it. Except me. I had already eaten my sausage egg biscuit in bed, courtesy of hubby.

Yesterday Sadie showed me her hand. It was red, and scratched. I kissed it tenderly.

“Mom, you know that really doesn’t make it feel better.”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

She’s growing up.

She’s more Ramona Quimby than Dora.

When did this happen?

Yesterday, just as I was getting irritated at the thought of helping her clean her room again, which I do almost every day, yet by 10 AM it looks like a tornado came through it, hip deep in detritus.

At some point mid-morning I asked her to please go clean her room for 10 minutes.

“Oh, I’ve already been cleaning it.”

I got up from my beloved spot on the couch to see if I could actually tell anything had been done.

It was spotless and completely organized.  Everything on her desk was in neat little piles. No trash or laundry or bedding or God-knows-what-else scattered everywhere.

My Grandma, for whom I am named (the Lee part, not the Alice part), has an expression for a child who seems older than her years.

Growny. Pronounced grown-ee. As in, “Look at her, she’s so growny. She cooked breakfast all by herself. Bless her heart.”

This is the same women who declared to my Father, upon hearing the news of my 6th pregnancy, “Well shut my mouth!”

I don’t know if it’s one of those funny words old Southerners say that ends up being pure perfect old English – like “reckon”, or if it’s just a made up Grandmaism.

Ruby is ready to potty train, if only her mother weren’t too sick and lazy to do it right now.

She has all the signs of readiness.

She is highly verbal. She points to her diaper and says “pee” or “poo” when the appropriate event has taken place. She resists diaper changes. She pulls the diaper off whenever possible. She says “potty”. She brings us her “Big Girls Use The Potty” books and asks us to read them to her. She finds her potties and brings them to the living room. She sits on her potties – naked or fully clothed.

When I look down at the keyboard, the letters are climbing all over each other and fuzzy. My eyes go all wonky at this point in the pregnancy. I’m not ready.

She is though.

So many times with these kids I find that by the time I get around to teaching them something, they’ve already learned it. Maybe I’ll look up in my second trimester and she will have potty trained herself.

My oldest’s voice has become so deep and manly that when he talks, sometimes I don’t recognize him and think my ex husband is in the house.  His feet are monstrous.

The 10 year old makes more money on eBay every month than I do. My 8 year old looks like a supermodel with lip gloss and dimples so big you can eat soup out of them.

These kids are too growny around here.

Posted in Mothering | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

We Should Be More Like Toddlers

Posted on January 4, 2012 by carrie

We would all be a lot healthier and happier if we behaved more like toddlers. I observe my 18 month old and realize that everything you need to know about relationships and emotional and physical health you can learn from them.

I offer:

We Should Be More Like Toddlers

Sit in laps often.

When you’re angry at someone, go ahead and let them know immediately. Yell at them once. Then forget it 30 seconds later.

Squat. Climb. Run. Roll around on the floor. Keep moving, until it’s time to nap. A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Get happy and excited about things like: your water cup. A puppy. Spotting the moon. Going outside. A favorite book.

Say few things. But say them so cute that everyone stops what they’re doing to listen.

Ask for what you want. Eventually, someone will appear and help you get it.

When you do something good, applaud yourself. Don’t wait for others to notice.

Eat a few bites. Then run around a lot.

If you want love, ask someone to rock you.

More about why I love toddlers.

 

Posted in Mothering | 3 Comments

Week 10

Posted on January 3, 2012 by carrie

I like reading blogger’s pregnancy updates. I like seeing (covered up) belly shots. Not that I’ll be posting any. But updates, yes.

My little prune is coming along nicely, from the feel of things. I’m sick day and night and although eating beans are helping, I still feel horrible.

How do I know they’re helping?

Because Saturday I forgot to eat beans, and Sunday was the most violently ill I’ve been so far this pregnancy.

When I lie down, my belly sticks up. My pants don’t fit, and I’m wearing a belly band to keep them from falling off unzipped. Funny how, after several babies, your body begins showing when you’re 5 minutes pregnant.

I spent most of my day trying to find something that I can tolerate eating. I take two bites then push it away.

It’s survival mode at the moment. These are the weeks of frozen waffles for the kid’s breakfasts, and paper plates. Cooking breakfast is out of the question. I tried it today, only to vomit in front of my husband and son in the kitchen trash can.

The crushing fatigue is thankfully lifting. I can get through the day without a nap. But bedtime comes at 8. Not that I fall asleep, but being still in a quiet dark room helps me deal with the intense waves of nausea that come at night.

It’s funny how you forget everything.

Like, you cannot imagine how it feels to be so severely nauseated 24 hours a day, to gag painfully every time you brush your teeth/open the fridge or dishwasher/change a diaper/smell someone’s breath. To have your food come up to your uvula several times a day, only willpower keeping it down. Make no sudden movements. It’s beyond description. Like food poisoning that lasts for months, not hours.

Then when you’re about 36 weeks pregnant it hits you.

Oh. Crap. Labor.

It suddenly dawns on you that you’re going to have to go through that pain again.

Why something as beautiful and life changing as bringing forth new life has to be accompanied by so much pain and discomfort and icki-poo-ness? I don’t get it.

And as soon as the baby comes, I’ll forget it all over again.

The kids have discovered old Cosby Show episodes on Netflix, and watching them starting from the pilot episode.

Which is fine by me. As screen time goes, they could do far worse. As it is, the oldest already knows Billy Cosby’s “Himself” routine practically verbatim. He’s getting some fresh material.

Water you doin?

Posted in Mothering | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Being Eco-Friendly With Your Food Even When You’re Finished With It

Posted on January 2, 2012 by carrie

Being Eco-Friendly With Your Food – Even When You’re Finished With It

Last week, I was at my local retailer doing some homemaking-related shopping. I bought some water softener for the wash, a new garlic press, and a cutting board. I also browsed up and down the aisles as I often do, checking out the stainless-steel appliances and the line of new blenders. Just as I was about to leave the section and head to the check-out, something interesting caught my eye: a do-it-yourself composting kit.

photo.JPG
Creative Commons License photo credit: 305 Seahill

While I have friends who compost foods in their backyards, I had never before seen such a kit in the store. Seeing the kit got me thinking. In my life, on a weekly basis, I make every effort to be green and eco-friendly when it comes to sourcing, preparing, and eating my food. I look for locally grown and all-natural products. I prepare meals that are high in beans and low in red meat. From the moment a crop is planted until the moment its product lands on my plate, I make every effort to be as sustainable and green as possible.

But all too rarely do I take time to consider what comes after my meal, when food all too often becomes garbage and garbage all too often turns into trash. While this is perhaps a less “sexy” component of the sustainable food cycle, it is an important one nonetheless. As I stood in the store and pondered all this, I quickly arrived at an impulse decision. I bought the compost kit.

A few days have passed since I made that purchase. At first setting up the compost bin in my yard was admittedly a challenge, largely because I had no idea what I was doing and no expectation of whether it would work. But the bin has quickly turned into an excellent and efficient way for disposing many of the fruits and veggies that my family consumes – and for doing so in a highly eco-friendly manner.

My new composting practice has helped me become more cognizant of what I do with my food after I eat it. I’ve taken to saving all leftovers, even when only a small amount of food remains. I’ve started cleaning out my recyclable materials more thoroughly, just to insure that they won’t get rejected by the recycling plant and deferred to a landfill. And, finally, I’ve started paying extra attention to my trash bin. What food products or by-products am I throwing out? How can this amount be reduced?

I hope that my vigilance continues. While going green in your food preparation is certainly half the battle, it’s just as important to cover that second half – and dispose of your meals in an environmentally-friendly manner.

Posted in Food | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Check Out The Mama Natural Show

Posted on December 29, 2011 by carrie

I’m on vacation this week, hanging out with my extended family in a cabin in South Carolina.

If you haven’t seen this awesome show yet, be sure to check out the Mama Natural Show! It’s a fun, newsy vlog that keeps you updated on the latest in the natural mothering community without taking up a lot of your time (her shows are minutes long, and unlike most video I’ve seen online, actually enjoyable to watch!)

Her 21st episode mentioned yours truly.

Fun stuff, and Genevieve is a great gal. I’ve found a new favorite site!

Posted in Cool stuff | 2 Comments

What’s New

Posted on December 22, 2011 by carrie

I have a little bit to say about a whole lot of topics again, but not enough to make an entire blog post. I think it’s all my brain can manage, what, with building a new human being and all.

Besides, all I would talk about is food and that’s kind of boring. Good thing most of you are busy this week. Feel free to skip.

I have a love hate relationship with food at the moment. I am starving all day but when I put food in my mouth it kind of sticks there and turns to sand. I chew and chew and chew and have to force myself to swallow it. Then I have the weird sensation that something is stuck in the back of my throat and won’t budge.

Gross.

Right now I’m eating Elevensies. I’ve already had breakfast and second breakfast. I start eating at 4 or 5 AM. I get up, grab whatever is easy and go back to bed. I wake up an hour later and eat again.

By then my sweet husband is up and he runs to get me a steak biscuit. Because I have to eat before I cook breakfast.

I’ve turned Hobbit.

Posted in Food | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Natural Moms Podcast #149

Posted on December 19, 2011 by carrie

My guest this week is David Luks of Honeydrop beverages.

Honeydrop offers delicious, fresh brewed all natural teas sweetened only with honey.

We’re talking about the recent controversy over honey: how you can avoid buying “fake” honey, why honey from China is not real honey at all (and why this matters to you), why honey is superior to refined sweeteners and artificial sweeteners, and how Honeydrop ensures that the honey that goes into their product is the real deal.

I got a chance to try the Ginger-Lemon flavor and it was awesome! You can find Honeydrop teas in natural food stores such as Whole Foods and they’re also available to order online.

To listen, just click on the grey play button below.

P.S. a recent listener told me she has been having trouble with the audio player. If you’re having difficulties listening, please let me know in the comments so I can troubleshoot!

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Get Your Kids Interested in Going Green

Posted on December 16, 2011 by carrie

Get Your Kids Interested In Going Green

Nearly everyone these days is interested in reducing their carbon footprint. As Americans we tend to overindulge and use and waste more than is ever necessary. While the concept of “going green” has definitely started to set in with older generations, younger kiddos still struggle with understanding wind and solar energy and what it truly means to live sustainably. To help them get more interested in going green, parents should consider doing some of the following with their kids:

Sandbox
Creative Commons License photo credit: krossbow

Show Them How to Recycle

One of the predominate reasons why kids don’t recycle on a regular basis is simply because they don’t fully understand how. Most only see soda cans or bottles as being recyclable. So that they can better grasp how much of their daily waste can actually be recycled, take the time to show your kids what to recycle and how to recycle if your area requires that your recyclables be sorted out. Not only will they learn a valuable lesson, but they will quickly feel like they are doing something important which is always a great way to create lasting habits.

Demonstrate What Reduce Actually Means

Kids are notorious for using more than they need – your toilet paper roll can probably attest to that. Kiddos simply have a hard time gauging how much of something they are usually generally until it is too late. However, if you can show them ways to avoid overusing items, such as plastic wrap for that lunchbox sandwich, it will create life long using habits that will help them be more green adults.

A great way to spark a child’s interest in reducing is by turning it into a game. Lay out items and ask your child to complete a task, such as packing their lunch, with as few disposables as possible. You can also ask them to create fun little art projects with minimal supplies, proving to them that they can create something beautiful without using an entire tub of glitter or bottle of glue. The important thing is to actually show them how little they can get by on.

Create At-Home Projects to Inspire Reusing

One of the best ways to get your kiddos interested in reusing is by creating at-home projects. By showing your kids that everyday garbage items and other recyclables can be turned in to works of art or other useful items, they will not only be more inclined to reuse but they will also be more inclined to think outside the box. So go ahead and try a few at-home projects including:

Going green isn’t something that just parents need to do for the environment, it is something that we all need to do if we want to successfully create more sustainable and lasting generations. By teaching your kiddos the importance of reducing, reusing, and recycling at a young age, they will create lasting green habits that they can build upon to become responsible and eco-friendly adults in the future.

 

Posted in Planet Earth | Tagged , , | 1 Comment