People Either Fear Children, Or Love Them

July 14, 2007

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Or perhaps more specifically, people either love free children, or fear children’s freedom. Have you noticed this?

Have you ever walked into a business establishment and the proprietors looked at you like you and your little ones were the proverbial turd in the punch bowl?

I know it’s happened to me.

Have you ever been in a situation where your small child, while still under your watchful eye, roamed a few feet from you and people around you freaked out?

I’ve had people in restaurants freak because I let my toddler use a fork. Don’t you know they could put their eye out with that?! (I just want to say, “Oh, why would he want to do that? Do you want to put your eye out with a fork? Kids have just as much interest in self preservation as adults do, you know.”)

It seems that some people are just terrified at the idea of trusting children. If they’re not strapped in and tied down, the adults are as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

I’ll give you an example of people trusting and loving children.

Today I took an opportunity, since my oldest 3 were off with their grandfather, to get a haircut. I had 22 month old Sadie with me. Normally she sits in my lap and enjoys a rare lollipop or nurses underneath the cover up (built in at a hairdressers’, lol!), but today when I went to pull her on my lap, the hairdresser said:

“If she sits there she’ll get hair all over her! She can sit right here next to you and watch.”

Firstly, she was concerned about my daughter’s comfort (who would want to get hair all over them? not me) She proceeded to lift her up (another clue - people who are afraid of kids are typically scared to touch them) and place her in the spot next to me. She put her baby doll next to her and a magazine in her lap.

“There. You can watch Mommy. See?”

Now - I’ve walked into salons before that told me they don’t allow kids.

After a few minutes, in typical toddler fashion, Sadie decided that the novelty of this chair was wearing off, so she got down. I was concerned about how the ladies working in the salon would react, but didn’t say anything.

Sadie started toddling around the room. The hairdresser didn’t miss a beat.

“She’s alright. She’s not bothering anything.”

Sadie caught the attention of one of the patrons who had just had her hair washed.

“Let me see if I have something in my pocketbook for you…”

And she proceeded to get up, grab her purse and pull out a Rice Krispie treat. She asked if it was ok to give it to her, and I said yes. So she picked her up, sat her in a different chair, and opened the bar for her. Sadie was now the center of attention. People started asking me her name and how old she was.

Sadie threw down the wrapper on the ground (we’re still working on not littering). The customer again walked over, giggled a bit and said something about her own young son, and threw the wrapper in the trash. Also a clue - people who don’t love children overreact to stuff like this, and expect far too much from a very young child.

A few moments later, again Sadie got up out of her chair. She walked over to where I was getting my hair cut and watched for a minute. Again the hairdresser seemed not the least bit concerned.

Then Sadie walked over to the electrical outlet against the wall and started touching it. Now… most people have an irrational fear of kids and outlets. Despite the fact that a child would have to put a long metal object into BOTH holes at the same time in order to get a mild shock, they still act like a child is tottering on the edge of a cobra’s hole when they get near one. I was waiting for a reaction from the employees but again, there was none.

I asked Sadie to come here, and she promptly did.

As the stylist finished up my hair, Sadie toddled around saying Hi to the receptionist (whom she called Nia, who is her occasional babysitter) and generally charming everyone in sight.

She even walked over and turned off the small radio that was right at her eye level on a small table. But instead of freaking out, the owner just said, “It will turn on again in a second.”

Now, don’t get me wrong. Sadie was not running around, screaming, putting herself and others in danger or being a nuisance.

Funny how children behave well when the adults around them don’t have irrational fears and unresolved childhood angst. :)

Do you think they made a local customer today? Oh, yeah.

 

 

Posted by carrie | Filed Under Mothering 

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