When You Don’t Celebrate Halloween

How to Explain to Your Kids Why You Don’t Celebrate Halloween

Halloween has come under a close scrutiny by families over the last few years. Some have chosen to not celebrate Halloween because of the connection to pagan and satanic beliefs, others for safety reasons.  My family doesn’t celebrate Halloween, and since the kids never have celebrated the holiday, they don’t feel any loss. But if your decision not to celebrate the holiday is new, it can be hard for children to understand your decision, especially when they see their friends going trick or treating without them or when they are not allowed to attend a party.  The history of Halloween blends so many different ideas from so many cultures and religious beliefs that it could take awhile to explain it, especially to younger children.  You might start with your home encyclopedia or an online one like Wikipedia.

When discussing it with your children, it is important to discuss your beliefs first.  They must have a good foundation or they won’t understand the rest of the conversation and the reasons “why”.  It is important to keep things simple in terms they understand.  It is also important to discuss the fact that not everyone believes the same thing, and that they need to use tact when talking with other people. When you go to the grocery store and someone asks your child “what they’re going to be for Halloween?”, rehearse a couple of things they can say without sounding judgmental. It’s not appropriate for them to say things like “Halloween is BAD!” because that could cause offense.

Religious reasons aside, many families feel that it’s simply too scary, with all the strange costumes and the dangerous items that have been given out to children who are trick or treating.  For parents with highly sensitive children, they know that the Halloween experience could lead to a lot of screaming and tantrums. This can also be a good time to reinforce the dangers of taking things from people they don’t know.  It can be confusing to children to be told all year that they shouldn’t take candy or anything else from strangers, and then one night of the year, it is encouraged. 

One of the biggest concerns parents have is the connection to the occult, witchcraft and Satanism.  Even though new traditions, such as trick or treating and dressing up in costumes may seem innocent, many people feel it is glorifying things that go against their beliefs and should be avoided.  (Personally, our belief is that Satan and his friends aren’t something to play around with, but they’re powerful spirit creatures.) By explaining the history behind the traditions, it might help children understand why, instead of just, “because we said so.”  This will help them form their own personal value system instead of just parroting yours. Doing a little research from trusted sources could help lead the conversation.  Although not all the experts agree on the origins of some of the traditions, most point to similar information.

It is also important to talk about what you can do as a family instead of the traditional Halloween activities.  Your family can still have fun, but be more aligned with your beliefs. You could do something as a family like have a game and pizza night on another day or a family friendly movie night (out of the house so you avoid the “trickers”).  Your children could even invite other friends who also don’t celebrate the holiday.

An important thing to keep I mind is to remain consistent.  If you don’t celebrate Halloween you need to apply the same standards to other things that fall into the same category.  It will avoid confusion. For example, if you don’t celebrate Halloween because of the connection to witchcraft, then stay from books and shows that deal with witches. It will only be confusing to the children.

Edited to add: I almost forgot to add the dress up links here. We have a huge box of costume stuff like pirate, princess (of course!), Star Wars characters, etc. It’s one of my kid’s favorite things to do for fun.