Has Cosleeping Gone Too Far?

November 12, 2008

Last night there were 4 people in my bed and 1 on the easy chair in my room.

I slept with my knees under my chin because my 7 year old was at the foot of the bed. I shared the rest of the top of the bed with two cover hogging girls.

With multiple knees and feet in my back and a 3 year old who still participates in the all night dairy queen, I sometimes don’t get the highest quality sleep.

I’m a sucker for children who need to be close at night.

Now, I have no problem saying “No” during the day.

I say no to too much TV and computer games. I say no to siblings hitting or name calling. I say no to overpriced, overpackaged plastic stuff at stores. I say no to boxed cereals and sour apple spray candy.

But, despite my threats to sell my 5 year old daughter’s beautiful new butterfly bed and my insistence that a 7 and 10 year old child are old. enough. to. sleep. in. their. own. rooms, I cave.

I just can’t say no to children who want to be close to me at night. And it’s such a natural thing for the smallest most vulnerable members of the pack to need to be close to the adults at night. Maybe this instinct exists for good reason.

Have I taken this whole cosleeping thing too far? Because few things make me happier than seeing my beautiful children’s faces while they still sleep when my alarm goes off.

It’s workin’ for me just fine.

photo credit: *clairity*
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NaBloPoMo #13

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10 Responses to “Has Cosleeping Gone Too Far?”

  1. Jennifer Knox on November 12th, 2008 8:54 pm

    We do a partial co-sleeping out of necessity with my one year old. Every morning at 5am or so, he wakes up in his crib and cries. Sometimes it’s a wet diaper, other times he’s just awake and realized he’s alone in his crib. So I take him into our bed on the outside (not the middle…hubby would roll right over him) and we spend the last two hours cuddled up like that. At first it was hard to sleep like that, but now I sort of like it.

    I don’t sleep as deeply, obviously because part of my brain is focused on keeping him safe and in the bed, so that would seem to be the only drawback…lack of quality sleep. Whatever works, I say!

  2. Aurelia Williams on November 12th, 2008 8:56 pm

    LOL I think its SWEET! Not hurting a soul and you probably have children that feel 100% loved.

    I’ve been known to crawl into the bed at night with my 2 kids (17yo and the 8yo).

    During Saturdays and sundays — my King size bed is the spot to be. Movies days, Board games, talks, tickles and more :)

    I say KUDOS to you

  3. Ken Chandler on November 12th, 2008 9:10 pm

    I cave as well.The peace of mind knowing my babies are content is good enough for me Saying no to all the above mentioned things is important. I also think the” I want to sleep with you tonight” is helpful in the balance of things.The little ones need to feel safe when They need to feel safe.:)

  4. Tsoniki Crazy Bull on November 12th, 2008 9:24 pm

    My 7 and 5 year olds end up in our bed all the time. And I might complain about them kicking and laying *right* up against me and not getting any good sleep and the hogging of the blankets (or the throwing off of the blankets) – but they are there in bed so clearly I love them there. :)

  5. Jen @ One Moms World on November 12th, 2008 9:28 pm

    Nope not gone too far. My girls 6 and 4 have been in my bed every night since they were born and I couldn’t see it other way. I have to hold them while I’m going to sleep and I love to wake up to them as well. I just don’t think I could sleep without them.

  6. elizabeth ashe on November 12th, 2008 11:36 pm

    No you have not gone to far, my husband and i are always sleeping w/ the kids and that is five of us all in one over sized king sized bed.

    We love it, love it.

  7. Angela on November 12th, 2008 11:50 pm

    LOL! You don’t need to stop co-sleeping, you just need a bigger bed!

  8. claire cesljarev on November 17th, 2008 2:00 pm

    You say “maybe this instinct exists for good reason” with a link to a child being killed in bed. I have to say this does not back up your point because he was sleeping at 4:30 PM, a time when many of us co-sleepers would not be in the bed anyway.

  9. Keith on April 12th, 2009 1:50 pm

    well,,,, the truth is,,,, you are sleeping with the kids and it isn´t for their peace of mind… it is for yours!!! But, you are not doing what is best of the kids.. let´s face it… the kids have become the boss and you have shown them…. that you are dependent on them also.. I am a very loving and caring father and have a great relationship with my children and yes.. at times I NEED to sleep with them too!! Especially when I have been traveling and haven´t seen them for a while. The trick is to balance the CO SLEEPING. When it becomes a habbit or something that you and the kids are dependant upon, then it has gone to far!! And just because you or they enjoy it, that is not justifacation either! They same could be said for using drugs or watching porno!! “if it feels good, then do it”!! So,,,, it is like everything in life,,, find the balance, but be smart about it and don´t confuse your selfish desires, with what is best for the kids!

  10. Jen Knox on June 2nd, 2009 4:02 pm

    It’s funny, I just rediscovered this post and found my comment at the top from about eight months ago. Things are very different now. My 20 month old sleeps in his bed and only his bed now. It’s not because we don’t like snuggling with him, but because he seems to sleep better and stick to his schedule better when he does sleep in his crib. In fact, he is a great sleeper and goes down (usually) like a charm and makes it all night on his own.

    The only exception was when he was sick, and of course, I did whatever he needed to feel comfy. But there was one fringe benefit to him sleeping well in his own bed: I got a better night’s sleep and became a better mom as a result. I’m just one mama who needs a good night’s sleep to function really well. I have more energy to be present with him and I find that he deals better with small separations (like dropping him off with Grandma or at the playroom at church and the gym) and I know he feels confident.

    That isn’t to say that kids who cosleep aren’t confident or capable of doing it on their own. I’m absolutely certain they are, but reading this post now, I wonder if things are still the same with the cosleeping for you, or if you have made any adjustments? Of course, if it works for you it works! That’s great! It’s just that as my son got older and bigger (and more of a bed-hog) I had to slowly wean him from it so that we could all get a good night’s sleep. And now we are. :)

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